Posted 9/28/2009 09:54:00 PM by Douglas

An interesting little game, from The New York Times, no less, showing how distracted, texting drivers can't drive through a toll plaza.

Posted 9/28/2009 09:22:00 PM by Douglas

Always good for SNL to make a bit of fake controversy for themselves

No matter how Jenny Slate’s tenure at “Saturday Night Live” turns out, at least she can say she made a memorable debut. In a sketch broadcast on the season premiere of “S.N.L.,” Ms. Slate, left, a newly hired featured performer, accidentally let slip a word that isn’t supposed to be said on network television during most hours of the day (or in family newspapers at any time). The utterance came in a sketch, which began about 12:42 a.m. on Sunday, in which Ms. Slate played the hard-living host of “Biker Chick Chat” who interviews similarly tough-talking women.

And of course, the video:

I like the cheek-puff afterwards. You can see in her eyes that Loren Michaels is about to fire her.

Posted 9/27/2009 01:49:00 PM by Douglas

Kind of funny video about the tyranny of hot dogs:



Someone needs to tell him that bun-length wieners come in packages of eight. Now, let's let the healing begin.

Posted 9/27/2009 01:43:00 PM by Douglas

P.J. O'Rourke reviews, hilariously as usual, a few crappy books about Woodstock and boomers continual practice of worshiping anything they can remember of it. I like this line about what "The 60s" actually were:

It was not, by the way, a decade: The sixties were a strange episode of about 80 months' duration that started when the Baby Boom had fully infested academia (roughly the 1966-67 school year) and came to a screeching halt in 1973 when conscription ended and herpes began.

Ah herpes. way to ruin the party for everyone.

Labels: P.J. O'Rourke

Posted 9/24/2009 06:49:00 PM by Douglas

I used to make a pit stop in Dublin, Texas, to buy some real Dr Peppers that were sweetened with pure cane sugar and not HFCS. I've never met a soul that couldn't tell, after one sip, which one was sugar and which one was HFCS. So why on earth is this a niche market?

Tens of thousands of people trek to tiny Dublin in north-central Texas each year to buy cases of the popular soft drink from a bottling company that uses real sugar in its flagship product. No high fructose corn syrup in sight.

It's been that way since 1891, when Dublin Bottling Works became the world's first bottler of soda pop and the first to distribute the fruit- and berry-flavored carbonated drink that had debuted six years earlier at Wade Morrison's Old Corner Drug Store in downtown Waco, about 80 miles to the east.

There's no question that real sugar tastes better, there no question that it's more expensive than HFCS, but it's also evident that people are willing to pay more for a higher quality product. I'm no marketing wizard, but why is one Dr Pepper bottler in a tiny town in Texas the only one to realize this?

Posted 9/23/2009 08:53:00 PM by Douglas

It's good to see that Barry is stimulating at least some segment of the economy.

Bullet-makers are working around the clock, seven days a week, and still can’t keep up with the nation’s demand for ammunition.

Shooting ranges, gun dealers and bullet manufacturers say they have never seen such shortages. Bullets, especially for handguns, have been scarce for months because gun enthusiasts are stocking up on ammo, in part because they fear President Barack Obama and the Democratic-controlled Congress will pass antigun legislation — even though nothing specific has been proposed and the president last month signed a law allowing people to carry loaded guns in national parks.

I'm not really scared of Barry banning bullets, or alliteration, apparently, but you're only as good as your last bullet. Then what, nut-jobs?

Posted 9/22/2009 09:35:00 PM by Douglas

It's Oktoberfest time again. Leave it to The Big Picture to cover it with their typical superb fashion. I don't know why, but #22 makes me want a beer, real bad.

Labels: Oktoberfest

Posted 9/21/2009 05:20:00 PM by Douglas

I have no idea who Dan and Jennie are, but I'm getting sucked into their discussion about Atlas Shrugged. I haven't read it in many years, but the discussion between someone who has read it four times and a whiney Lefty that's reading it for the first time is truly enlightening. Plus there are gems like this:

Jennie

On your third, shut up. Is dinner ready?

What man could argue with that salient point of wisdom?

Posted 9/20/2009 12:05:00 PM by Douglas

Is a lack of boners in the world really such a problem that makes this necessary?

Doctors have now developed a new way of minimising side effects by delivering drugs directly to the affected area using tiny particles, smaller than the size of pollen grains.

Tests on rats have shown that the drugs are effective in nine out of 10 cases.

The researchers behind the breakthrough now say that they plan to test the mediation on humans, but warn it could be another 10 years before the product is on the market.

Wow. And it's tested on animals! Why is it that I immediately thought of this:



I hope rub-on Viagra comes in a plane box that says "NOT Boner Creme" stamped all over it in big red letters.

Posted 9/19/2009 05:15:00 PM by Douglas

I had to click on this story to see what a full Ginsburg was. I thought it included a midget and a tub of margarine.

On Sunday, President Barack Obama will execute what might be called a Modified Full Ginsburg — appearing on five Sunday morning talk shows to make a pitch for health reform.

It’s a move few politicians have attempted. Even fewer have been able to stick the landing.

The Full Ginsburg, of course, was named for Monica Lewinsky’s lawyer William Ginsburg, who first did the five-fecta of Sunday talk on Feb. 1, 1999. Obama’s move is slightly different – swapping in the Spanish-language network Univision for Fox News Channel.

But there’s no guarantee it’ll work.

Look, Barry, the problem with your health care plan isn't that we haven't heard enough about yet, especially from you.

And am I the only one that finds it hilarious that he'd rather talk to Univision than FoxNews?

Posted 9/17/2009 05:36:00 PM by Douglas

If you interact with disaffected 20somthings that routinely misconstrue their apathy as bravado and their complete ignorance of anything that happened before 1990 as knowledge, you might enjoy this. Or like, whatever.

Posted 9/15/2009 05:36:00 PM by Douglas

Bizarre story of a school bombing that happened fifty years ago today in Houston.

First came the explosion, ripping through the playground with a sound like every school locker on earth slamming shut at once. Then came the carnage — six people killed, half of them children, and almost a score injured. Finally, like a lingering aftershock, came sorrow, anger and the struggle to come to grips with an act senseless and evil.

Today marks the 50th anniversary of the Poe Elementary School bombing, paradoxically one of the most horrendous events to mar the city's history and — except in the minds of its aging victims — one of the seemingly least remembered.

While schools have been named for Jennie Kolter and James Montgomery, a teacher and custodian killed in the blast, no monuments memorialize the other victims: students William Haws and John Fitch, and Dusty Orgeron, son of the bomber, Paul Orgeron.

Wow, how is it I've never heard of before?

Posted 9/15/2009 12:09:00 PM by Douglas

R.I.P, Patrick Swayze. This sketch is mainly Farley, but it wouldn't have worked without Swayze:




And then there's this, his Obit from the Telegraph. Don't miss out on the double negative:

An investigation later concluded that the drink had not been not in the cabin but stashed in external storage compartments that were inaccessible in flight; and that Swayze's behaviour was due to the effects of hypoxia during descent.

I'm sure that was not not a factor in the crash.

Labels: Telegraph Obits

Posted 9/14/2009 09:35:00 PM by Douglas

Hurricane Ike, one year later. The clickable before and after are quite remarkable.

Posted 9/13/2009 04:46:00 PM by Douglas

Random yet tasteful picture of a statue from the Hearst Castle. Turns out, W.R. Hearst had a thing for naked, marble chicks:

And here she is, in bad lighting, from the front:

Posted 9/13/2009 04:17:00 PM by Douglas

Police: To protect and serve, and if you disagree, forcibly stick a needle in your arm and remove some of your blood to use as evidence against you in court.

When police officer Darryll Dowell is on patrol in the southwestern Idaho city of Nampa, he'll pull up at a stoplight and usually start casing the vehicle. Nowadays, his eyes will also focus on the driver's arms, as he tries to search for a plump, bouncy vein.

"I was looking at people's arms and hands, thinking, 'I could draw from that,'" Dowell said.

Geez, right off the bat the article summarizes everything that's repugnant about such plans: The cop isn't looking for someone driving dangerously because he's inebriated. He's looking for a sweet, juicy vein to sink a needle into. But it gets worse:

It's all part of training he and a select cadre of officers in Idaho and Texas have received in recent months to draw blood from those suspected of drunken or drugged driving. The federal program's aim is to determine if blood draws by cops can be an effective tool against drunk drivers and aid in their prosecution.

Starr hopes the new system will cut down on the number of drunken driving trials. Officers can't hold down a suspect and force them to breath into a tube, she noted, but they can forcefully take blood — a practice that's been upheld by Idaho's Supreme Court and the U.S. Supreme Court.

I don't always agree with the Supreme Court, and I know they've repeatedly upheld these forced blood draws, but I don't understand how, in a kazillion years, this doesn't violate the Fifth Amendment when it comes self-incrimination.

Cops cruising around with syringes looking for drunks like a bunch of thirsty vampires. As long as bars have parking lots and criminal BAL is 0.08%, anyone leaving a bar after three drinks is a criminal. Why don't police just arrest people at the door.

I'm sure it's coming.

Posted 9/12/2009 12:22:00 PM by Douglas

The controversy of what auto-tune is doing to the music business is as gimmicky as the distorted sound it creates, but these guys are dang funny:



Number eight in the series. Check 'em out.

Posted 9/12/2009 11:41:00 AM by Douglas

A three year old girl in Southeast Texas was rescued from a flooded car by her aunt's dog. That would be a nice story, but in reality, the aunt's dog was a pit bull, and it ate the baby's face off.

A 3-year-old girl who was attacked by a dog at her aunt's New Caney home remains hospitalized but her condition has been upgraded to stable, Montgomery County sheriff's officials said today.

Although she suffered severe damage to her face and head, sheriff's officials said the child's injuries are not considered life-threatening.

It's just a dog, right?

Labels: pit bull attacks

Posted 9/11/2009 06:49:00 PM by Douglas

September 11, 2009. Let us never forget what happened eight years ago. Let us also never forget that the leader of Al Qaeda, trained by the C.I.A. in Afghanistan to fight the Soviets, is still a free man, and that Iraq had nothing to do with any of it.

Posted 9/09/2009 07:38:00 PM by Douglas

So parts of the Augustine Commission report is out, and the first thing that jumps out at me: the headline in two different papers. First up, The Washington Times

Mars and Moon Are Out of NASA's Reach for Now, Review Panel Says

And then there's this gem from The New York Times

Panel Calls Program of NASA Unfeasible

Well what does any of that mean?

“Whatever space program is ultimately selected, it must be matched with the resources needed for its execution,” the panel wrote, emphasizing the possibilities of pulling in participation and financing from other nations and turning to the commercial space industry to provide rockets at a lower cost than a program by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

So, does that mean we're going anywhere, anytime soon? Let's see. . .

Posted 9/09/2009 07:29:00 PM by Douglas

Every wonder what a trillion dollars looks like? A trillion is a lot more different than a billion than just one letter.

Posted 9/08/2009 06:10:00 PM by Douglas

Every wanted to leave it all behind, pack up all your shit in the trailer behind a riding lawnmower and travel across the state in the middle of the summer? Me neither, but this guy did. Meet Harold, or as he said, "I have no hair, and I'm old." [get it?]

We didn't get his entire story, but he said he was going back to Dallas from Hobbs, New Mexico (which isn't really on the way for US 287). He claimed to get 60 miles a day, and the only people that gives him any trouble is the cops. They tell him he can't drive a lawnmower on the highway, to which he said "show me where that law is written!" I don't think he's relying on legal precedent for his odyssey of crazy. When we left, I told him "good luck, hope you make it," to which he replied "what do you mean, I am making it!!"

Shine on, crazy diamond!

Posted 9/02/2009 10:02:00 PM by Douglas

Here's an answer to the national health care plan! Send old people to Mars. To die!

There is, however, a way to surmount this problem while reducing the cost and technical requirements, but it demands that we ask this vexing question: Why are we so interested in bringing the Mars astronauts home again?

While the idea of sending astronauts aloft never to return is jarring upon first hearing, the rationale for one-way trips into space has both historical and practical roots. Colonists and pilgrims seldom set off for the New World with the expectation of a return trip, usually because the places they were leaving were pretty intolerable anyway. Give us a century or two and we may turn the whole planet into a place from which many people might be happy to depart.

Waiter! Check please. I'm ready to punch outta this yawn factory!