Posted 12/29/2011 03:08:00 PM by Douglas

You have no choice but to give police officers evidence with which to convict you. The fifth amendment surrenders:

State, county and local officials are for the first time implementing a joint effort to crack down on alcohol- related accidents, authorities said.

The effort, known as No Refusal, allows law enforcement officials to obtain a blood search warrant for drivers who do not agree to give a breath sample. The warrants will help officers test intoxication levels to see if they are above the 0.08 blood- alcohol concentration limit.

Running over someone is already illegal, but forcing a needle in someone's arm because they do not wish to self incriminate themselves seems a bit out of hand. It's not like there's ever been any problems with the way the police administer the test to manipulate the results. I have heard on good authority that no warrant for blood will be issued unless you've already failed a field sobriety test. So if you see red and blue lights in your rear view mirror after you've consumed more than three ethanol molecules, just accept the fact that you're going to lose your license for six months.

Posted 12/29/2011 02:57:00 PM by Douglas

Ever wondered what Wikipedia would look like on your book shelf? Yeah, me neither, but someone did.

Posted 12/29/2011 02:55:00 PM by Douglas

Monks fight over who gets to clean church in Bethlehem:

Brooms and fists flew inside the church marking the birthplace of Jesus as some 100 priests and monks of the Greek Orthodox and Armenian Apostolic churches brawled.

Palestinian police, bending their heads to squeeze through the church's low "door of humility," rushed in with batons flailing to restore order.

"It was a trivial problem that ... occurs every year," said police Lieutenant-Colonel Khaled al-Tamimi. "Everything is all right and things have returned to normal," he said. "No one was arrested because all those involved were men of God."

Administration of the 6th century Bethlehem church, the oldest in the Holy Land, is shared by Roman Catholic, Greek Orthodox and Armenian clerics.

Any perceived encroachment of jurisdictional boundaries within the church can set off a row, especially during the annual cleaning for Orthodox Christmas celebrations, which will be held next week.

Aren't you a little embarrassed, Christians, that you start a fight in Israel and the Palestinians are the ones that have to break it up?

Posted 12/29/2011 02:33:00 PM by Douglas

Eagle vs. Cat: Cat wins!



I love the swat as the eagle is flying off. Made me think of this and how wrong it is.

Posted 12/14/2011 06:08:00 PM by Douglas

I've ranted on this topic before, but every year that goes by where seemingly everyone is aware of the sheer lunacy of creating ethanol as fuel while we're still subsidizing it with billions of public dollars, well, that tends to wonder why everyone hasn't, as I have, completely lost faith in the system. We've already established, by their own reports that ethanol is a thermodynamic loss, meaning it takes more energy to create it than you can get by burning it. Hell, even Al Gore has come out against it for being unfeasible. Yet the money keeps flowing. Now it's coming from oil companies for not buying enough of the stuff. Nevermind the fact that it doesn't exist.

To launch this wonder-fuel industry, the feds under Mr. Bush and President Obama have pumped at least $1.5 billion of grants and loan subsidies to fledgling producers. Mr. Bush signed an energy bill in 2007 that established a tax credit of $1.01 per gallon produced.

Most important, the Nancy Pelosi Congress passed and Mr. Bush signed a law imposing mandates on oil companies to blend cellulosic fuel into conventional gasoline. This guaranteed producers a market. In 2010 the mandate was 100 million barrels, rising to 250 million in 2011 and 500 million in 2012. By the end of this decade the requirements leap to 10.5 billion gallons a year.

When these mandates were established, no companies produced commercially viable cellulosic fuel. But the dream was: If you mandate and subsidize it, someone will build it.

Guess what? Nobody has.

It gets worse. Because there was no cellulosic fuel available, oil companies have had to purchase "waiver credits"—for failing to comply with a mandate to buy a product that doesn't exist. In 2010 and this year, the EPA has forced oil companies to pay about $10 million for these credits. Since these costs are eventually passed on to consumers, the biofuels mandate is an invisible tax paid at the gas pump.

So, yay? Billions get paid out to snake-oil selling start ups under both the Bush and Obama administrations, and the taxpayers have to pay for it? Where have I heard this before?

To recap: Congress subsidized a product that didn't exist, mandated its purchase though it still didn't exist, is punishing oil companies for not buying the product that doesn't exist, and is now doubling down on the subsidies in the hope that someday it might exist. We'd call this the march of folly, but that's unfair to fools.

Sleep tight America, the government is in control and going to solve all your problems. Just remember, it's Ron Paul that's the "crazy one" when he says that the federal government has no business doing this stupid shit. All the rest of them think they can "fix" this.

Labels: ethanol

Posted 12/13/2011 05:05:00 PM by Douglas

Tis the season for Christmas wonderment, and that can only mean one thing: At least one radio station within range of your 87 Tercel's coathanger plays nothing but Christmas songs. Well, generally State Farm commercials, but then some Christmas songs. . . some really bad Christmas songs. They're not all bad. I know few people can agree on this, but in secret, I don't think most people have a problem with Bing Crosby singing Mele Kalikimaka, Dean Martin singing White Christmas or even Elvis growling through Blue Christmas. But it's the other stuff. You know what I'm talking about. . the Christmas music that makes you want to kill yourself, or others. So here's my abridged list of the absolute worst soul sucking Christmas music that continues to be played for some reason. So here it is, in no particular order:

• Do They Know It's Christmas? A song about raising awareness of the size of Bob Geldof's ego, this song made "We are the world" possible the following year. Besides sounding like cat vomiting on a dying squirrel, this continues to remind us of the troubles of famine in the third world, and why, oh dear lord why, won't Hollywood keep their damn noses out of it.
• Home for Christmas ('N Sync album) I had the misfortune of hearing one song off this wretched mess, and it made me think of only one thing: If 'N Sync has a Christmas album, it may be time to try fundamentalist Islam for a while to see what they have to offer. It can't be worse.
• I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus This is just horrible. There are only two possible outcomes to this song, and both of them are bad. Either his daddy is Santa Claus, or his mother is a whore. Take your pick, and Merry Christmas!
• Anything by Mannhein Steamroller I know they've sold almost 30 million albums in the United States alone, but that doesn't mean it's not crap. They sound like what would happen if Depeche Mode had unprotected gay sex with a speak-and-spell and then gave birth to a drum machine. I believe that listening to their version of "Carole of the Bells" has been a successful defense for murder in seven states.
• Little Drummer Boy (Bing Crosby/David Bowie version) Aren't ironic juxtapositions fun? Let's put Bing with Ziggie Stardust sans eyeliner, that'll be awesome, won't it? No, it won't. Just like Johnny Cash singing Nine Inch Nails songs, or Betty White making dick jokes, sometimes you need to leave the kids alone. Keep your dignity, old people, and let the kids be kids; they don't know they're horrible yet. Pa rum-pum-pum, pum.
• The Christmas Shoes This one is so horrible it defies description. If you don't know it, don't google it, whatever you do. A poor kid scams some schmuck for shoe money for his dying mother. It's not just incredibly sappy, it's horrible, just horrible. People that pretend to take this one seriously on an emotional level probably get misty-eyed when their milk expires.
• Trans-Siberian Orchestra I don't know what part of this orchestra came from Siberia, but I wish they'd go back. They sound like they heard the mediocratic crap churned out by Mannheimer Steamroller and said "me too." They just weren't as talented. And yeah, that's saying a lot.
• Step in to Christmas Sir Elton, you're gay. We get it. But this song is so ridiculously over the top that not even a Daffy Duck suit would be enough gay apparel to don to track this song on even Lady Gaga's gaydar. Dial it back every once in a while, sister.
• Same Old Lang Syne Dan Fogelberg, you may have been the leader of the band, but if I wanted to hear about some guy grabbing some beer and finger-banging his old girlfriend in the back seat of his car, I'd go back to high school.

Posted 12/12/2011 05:10:00 PM by Douglas

First off, as someone who has ever had trouble paying their bills, it sucks. I don't revel in anyone's misfortune when they can't provide for themselves. I'm not opposed to a bit of assistance from Uncle Sucker, but when that assistance becomes an entitlement, you get into trouble. Enter the increased cost of heating oil in New England.

Thousands of poor people across the Northeast are bracing for a difficult winter with substantially less home heating aid coming from the federal government.

Imagine that?!? It's going to get cold in New England?!? And this time of year! Who could have ever seen this one coming? But it gets better:

"They're playing Russian roulette with people's lives," said John Drew, who heads Action for Boston Community Development, Inc., which provides aid to low-income residents in Massachusetts.

Right. A game of chance where you bet your life is exactly the same thing as reducing government subsidies for utilities. Exactly. The same. Go on:

Families in New England, where the winters are long and cold and people rely heavily on costly oil heat, are expected to be especially hard hit. Many poor and elderly people on fixed incomes struggle with rising heating bills that can run into thousands of dollars. That can force them to cut back on other necessities like food or medicine.

Wow, it took quite a long time for this hack to trot out the "fixed income" rant. Guess who else is on a "fixed income" besides the elderly and poor? Everyone that works. And again, New England has winters that are long and cold? I'm sure that's the Republican's fault, right? But let's get to the meat of this:

Families can expect to pay, on average, about $3,300 to heat a home with oil this winter in New England, Wolfe said. That's about $500 more than last winter. About half of the region's homes use oil heat.

Holy shit, that's a lot of oil! Here's what I don't get:

I've heard the rant, first hand, I might add, from do-gooding liberals from Manhattan to Portland how the Southern United States is essentially uninhabitable, and no one would live there if there wasn't cheap energy to drive the air conditioners. The South existed before A/C, so it's not a perfect argument, but I can certainly concede that the explosive growth of the sun belt is a result in no small part of the near uniform coverage of pleasantly conditioned indoor space. So here's the rub:

If bubba running his A/C in South Texas is ruining the planet by wasting fossil fuels and causing global warming, how do the yankees get a walk on this one when they get hit by this long, cold, New England winter? They burn $3,300 worth of oil each and every year in their homes, so it would seem that their location choice would be equally, if not more, untenable from a carbon emission standpoint than the South. Yet I've never seen an article like this one where stupid yankees should move to some mythical land where there's a perfect climate and people don't have to expend any energy on climate control.

Why is that? Is global warming only caused by burning fossil fuels in the South? Apparently burning fossil fuels in liberal enclaves, Al Gore's limo and in bussing school children across town for some sociological experiment do not contribute to global warming in the slightest.

Posted 12/11/2011 02:08:00 PM by Douglas

Fascinating photo log of what crazy people brought with them to the nut-house 100 years ago. I think this is why people obsess on packing; what if everyone was forever remembered by the things in their suitcase that time they weekend to Tampa for the weekend?

Posted 12/11/2011 02:04:00 PM by Douglas

I had the misfortune of watching 10 minutes of the 987th Republican debate, and I just happened to catch the part where Mitt bet Rick Perry $10k whether or not RomneyCare required participation.

Mitt Romney challenged Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s claims that the former Massachusetts governor backed a requirement that individuals purchase health care coverage.

“I’m just saying, you’re for individual mandates, my friend,” Perry told Romney during Saturday evening’s debate, returning to a criticism that has dogged Romney’s campaign.

“You’ve raised that before, Rick, and you’re simply wrong,” Romney responded, extending his hand toward Perry. “Rick, I’ll tell you what, 10,000 bucks?”

So was it too much money that shows how Mitt is out of touch with the middle class? What about when middle class people say "I'll be you a million dollars . . . " If anything, for someone whose personal net worth is pushing a quarter billion dollars, $10,000 sounds a little low for an exaggerated wager. Unless, of course, he had it on him. In cash. Which he probably did.

But coming from a religion that doesn't allow drinking alcohol or even caffeine, why is Mit gambling, anyway? I'm sure that's not cool.

Posted 12/10/2011 01:11:00 PM by Douglas

This one's making the rounds, and I guess I can see why. Anyone that would think this building doesn't look like the World Trade Center on 9/11 clearly doesn't own a TV, nor has seen a newspaper, magazine, or website in the last decade.

The unveiling of pictures of planned luxury residential towers scheduled to be built in Seoul, South Korea, has sparked instant controversy. The reason is obvious. The towers, which include a so-called “cloud” feature connecting them around the 27th floors, clearly resemble the World Trade Towers in the process of collapsing following the 9/11 attacks.

Yeah, it really, really does. But so? The absolute last group of people that would venerate the senseless destruction of any building is architects. I think Althouse nails this manufactured (constructed?) controversy:

The point would need to be something more like: We defy the terrorists of the world. We stand for building skyscrapers in defiance of the nihilists.

Negative images can be adopted and re-purposed in a positive way. To cite an obvious example: the crucifixion of Christ. A crucifix is not displayed celebrate the torture and execution of Jesus. We invariably and easily understand it as a symbol of resurrection and eternal life.

So the building, if it indeed intentionally refers to the WTC, should be interpreted as a reaffirmation of the greatness of modern civilization.

I think she's on to something. . but it certainly not be the first piece of architecture that the public didn't "get."

Posted 12/08/2011 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

I love it when life imitates SNL. Here's an investment banker with some problems.

Former New Jersey senator and governor Jon Corzine insisted Thursday that he has no idea what happened to an estimated $1.2 billion in missing client funds from failed investment firm MF Global, describing the firm's final days as a "chaotic" frenzy of transactions.

"There were many, many, many more transactions than typically occur," Corzine said, in rare testimony before Congress that marked his first public remarks on the firm's bankruptcy since he resigned as CEO on Nov. 3.

"I simply do not know where the money is, or why the accounts have not been reconciled to date," Corzine's said.

Silly banker, don't you know, you're supposed to take your client's money, then write down how much he gave you on a list. Be sure and keep that list in a safe place:



Also, here. I bet his wife found out about him shagging his secretary, too, which was bad. But not as bad as losing the list.

Posted 12/02/2011 08:00:00 PM by Douglas

A few centuries ago, it was admirable for a man to take out a loan for more than he could imagine. . . and then do the unimaginable: PAY IT BACK. Well I know it's unpopular, but it's still happening. Witness the following:

That's my mortgage statement. Why is this showing up here? To borrow a punchline, because I'm telling everyone!

Posted 11/28/2011 09:08:00 PM by Douglas

What a hilariously frank and honest piece about the Texas/A&M rivalry that was wrapped up this Thanksgiving. Lots of aggie hand wringing, but here's the money shot:

I walked away knowing that while the pastures of the SEC will not be greener initially, it sure beats spending another century trying to prove superiority against a single foe down south.

"Against a single foe down south?" Do they know what the "S" in SEC stands for? But how typical of the kool-aide drinking cult form College Station. You're tired of being compared to another in-state school that's consistently better than you, so you leave. Makes sense; 128 years of being the oldest public university in Texas, as opposed to the best, finally caught up with them. Hell, if you were always compared to your younger brother that was smarter, faster, and better lookin' than you, you'd want to hang out with your loser cousins from Louisiana, Mississippi and Georgia, too.

So have fun with that, aggies. The worst defensive line in the SEC is going to grind you into a fine paste next fall. As for the rest of the aggies that stick around, we'll give you a call when our dogs get sick.

Posted 11/27/2011 03:31:00 PM by Douglas

It's over, aggies. You lost the first one, you lost the last one, and most of them in between. Given another century, maybe someone in the SEC will care enough of your whining, cult-like antics to come close to the 3rd longest running rivalry in college football. But probably not.

But it does open up the potential to establish tradition-ending tantrums for more money another tradition in and of itself! Because anything an aggie does more than once is a tradition! I kinda liked this:

The Longhorn band spelled out 'Thanks A&M' while playing "Thanks for the Memories."

Thanks, indeed, for sawing your own noses off. Hey,that would sound great in a fight song!

Posted 11/27/2011 03:16:00 PM by Douglas

Pretty cool app that lets you simulate the settings on a digitial camera

Posted 11/23/2011 09:26:00 PM by Douglas

Chicago wants to be the 51st state:

A state Republican legislator has introduced a bill to the Illinois General Assembly to separate the Chicago's county from the state--effectively making the midwestern city the 51st state in the union.

Call Canada and see if they're interested in making you their 11th province and/or 4th territory and you got yourself a deal, Chicago.

Posted 11/23/2011 09:20:00 PM by Douglas

From the "you can't make this stuff up" department. Who'd a thunk a guy charged with criminally cutting someone's hair would be named mullet?

Authorities raided the group's compound in eastern Ohio earlier in the day and arrested seven men, including group leader Sam Mullet and three of his sons.

Several members of the group carried out the attacks in September, October and November by forcibly cutting the beards and hair of Amish men and women and then taking photos of them, authorities said.

Wow, if you really want to punish the Amish, force them to watch more than 9 seconds of Dancing with the Stars.

Posted 11/19/2011 03:12:00 PM by Douglas

For fans of Mad Magazine's classic back-cover "fold-ins", your wait for them to show up on the internet is over.

Posted 11/19/2011 03:08:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting piece on "distracted" driving. Sadly, the answer to these problems is never less regulatory hysteria; it's more. So instead of MADD dialing their crazy back, it just means MAT (Mother's Against Texting) is just now getting started.

Maybe we should just abolish drunk driving laws. “Several studies, such as a 2005 paper in the British Medical Journal, have found that talking on a cell phone, even with a hands-free device, causes more driver impairment than a 0.08 BAC. A 2001 American Automobile Association study found several other in-car distractions that also caused more impairment, including eating, adjusting a radio or CD player, and having kids in the backseat. . . . Doing away with the specific charge of drunk driving sounds radical at first blush, but it would put the focus back on behavior, where it belongs. The punishable act should be violating road rules or causing an accident, not the factors that led to those offenses.

What? Wait for someone to actually commit a crime before you throw them in jail and ruin their life? That's just insane.

Posted 11/18/2011 06:04:00 PM by Douglas

What a great map showing the coming and goings of a country. Interesting to note, people can't get out of Detroit fast enough. And as far as the nation's least poplated county is concerned, Loving County, Texas didn't report enough data to be noticed. Go figure.

Posted 11/11/2011 08:37:00 AM by Douglas

It's 11/11/11, or 63 if converted from binary. Celebrate accordingly.

Does anyone know why 11 isn't called "onety one?"

Also, does anyone know if today's date is d/m/y, or m/d/y? Hell, today it could be y/m/d or m/y/d and no one would be the wiser. It's total ANARCHY!!!!

Posted 11/01/2011 09:34:00 PM by Douglas

"We can't just do a big scatter shot protest with everyone's personal agenda." Or can we? I love it when life impersonates SNL. The real message of the "occupy" movement:

Posted 10/30/2011 02:55:00 PM by Douglas

Narrow, unenlightened self interest isn't difficult to grasp, so it's not surprising that the occupy Wall Street squatters are tired of paying their bills. But the mentality behind the movement to negate student loans is a bit more troubling.

While economists say there is little chance that such tactics could succeed, the fact that they are even being talked about — including the recent introduction of a congressional resolution calling for student loan forgiveness — shows the depth of the frustration and anger brewing over what is cumulatively a crushing debt load for U.S. students and graduates.

Wow. I've been reading about how the higher education bubble is going to be the next one to pop. Something has to be responsible for a five-fold increas in tuition over the past 10 years, and just like the housing bubble, most of the blame can be levied on too many government dollars telling lenders and borrowers that the money will be spent. So now you've got millions of people that owe hundreds of thousands of dollars with a relatively small probability that they'll have the ability to pay it back? What does that breed:

Robert A_____, a 37-year-old lawyer who graduated from Fordham Law School in New York City in 1998 with about $65,000 in debt, is the creator of ForgiveStudentLoanDebt.com. He said the website grew out of a proposal he first posted on Facebook in 2009 speculating on the economic impact there would be if student loan debtors suddenly had hundreds of dollars a month to spend. Within weeks, the post went viral and he had 300,000 “likes” on Facebook, he said.

Applebaum's idea was born out of painful experience. He said he began championing loan forgiveness after going to work as an assistant district attorney in Brooklyn and realizing he could either pay his rent or make his payments on his student loans. He said he chose to put his loans in “forbearance” — an agreement between the lender and the borrower that prevents a declaration of default but doesn’t prevent the continued accrual of interest — until he left the DA’s office in 2004. After making his loan payments every month since then, his debt today stands at $88,000.

That spells out everything, doesn't it? Not only is the college education a right, not a privledge, but also his house. He doubeled down on the interest payment for a decade so he could live in one of the most expensive real estate market in the country. Then, as the interest is still stacking up, what does he decide to do? Whine about it.

But I think the most disturbing part of all this is that the President is now listening to them, and has a plan to buy their votes with your money.

On Wednesday, President Obama introduced two changes to the federal student loan program that could affect several million borrowers. The broad outlines of his plans to encourage loan consolidation and assist people who are struggling financially are reasonably clear.

People with at least one federal loan that they borrowed directly from the federal government and at least one that originated with a bank or other lender. If you have a bunch of bank-issued federal loans but no loan directly from the government, you can consolidate them under an older federal program, but it won’t save you as much money.

The PLUS loans that some graduate students have taken out in recent years are eligible. Perkins Loans and many federal loans for people entering health professions are not eligible. And again, private student loans are not part of the mix here either.

Also, if you’re in default on the loans, you won’t be eligible.

Don't worry if your student loans haven't been affected by this yet. It's only the beginning.

Posted 10/30/2011 02:22:00 PM by Douglas

Where do we go? Some great songs that started out as jokes. Some of them ended up that way, too.

Posted 10/30/2011 02:20:00 PM by Douglas

Fascinating story on performance enhancing cooling.

RTX promises to enhance human performance in applications ranging from sports to medicine to the military. It is the brainchild of biological sciences professor H. Craig Heller and senior research scientist Dennis Grahn, who have spent nearly two decades studying temperature regulation in mammals. Their lab, once devoted to hibernating ground squirrels and marmots, now attracts San Francisco 49er football players, military representatives from the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, multiple sclerosis patients and sweating Stanford athletes.

Keeping your core cool through your plam. What an idea.

Posted 10/30/2011 02:16:00 PM by Douglas

A whore is someone who will do anything for money, whether that be $20 on a dumpster for $300 million from ESPN. Enter the Longhorn Network.

ESPN remains stymied in its efforts to line up new subscribers for its Longhorn Network, so only a handful of San Antonio-area viewers will be able to watch today's broadcast of the Texas-Kansas game from Austin.

Grande Communications, which has about 16,000 subscribers in the area, remains the only regional cable company of note carrying the Longhorn Network, the 20-year, $300 million partnership between ESPN and the University of Texas that launched in August.

Today's game will be the second UT football game to air on LHN. And, as was the case with the season opener against Rice, the game will be available only to about four million subscribers nationwide and a small percentage in the area.

The Longhorns, who receive over $143 Million a year for its atheletic budget, the largest in the country, decided $300 million for the Longhorn Network was worth more than 100 years of in-state football tradition, playing interesting games, and the Big 12 itself. Way to go, Longhorns. Screwing your alumni and fans that want to watch your games out of the cable fees would be one thing, but your network is so obscure that NO ONE is carrying it, which means Longhorn fans can't even watch your stupid games even if they want to pay for your silly network. Way to go, whores.

Posted 10/23/2011 03:17:00 PM by Douglas

"Can you leave your wrinkled willie glue inside my ocean?" At first, I didn't know what the hell that was, but apparently the "bad lip reading" thing is a thing. This one's pretty funny, too. I wish I had a tin cup for all these nickles. . .

Posted 10/11/2011 06:55:00 PM by Douglas

10/11/11. That's 47 in binary.

Posted 10/11/2011 06:05:00 PM by Douglas

Incredible pictures of a man-made geyser in Nevada. And an even more interesting story about how you'd get your ass shot if you tried to jump the fence and enter someone's private property to take a picture of such wonderment.

Posted 10/09/2011 01:32:00 PM by Douglas

When relying on your clothing to espouse your socio-political positions, it's good to branch out:

When it comes to murdering socialists, really, what was the difference, other than Che didn't have an air force?

Posted 10/09/2011 01:26:00 PM by Douglas

Here's some more pictures of Detroit, rotting from within. Interesting how quickly the buildings decay and the vegetation reclaims the land.

Labels: Detroit Decay

Posted 10/05/2011 05:55:00 PM by Douglas

I suppose I'm a bit burned out on protests and protesters, so I haven't really been paying attention to the who or the why of the recent round of Wall Street sit-ins. It's probably not fair to say that all of the protesters agree with these, but it's probably more than you think.

When I first read that list, I thought it came from The Onion. Then I realized it's too over the top, even for them, to be reasonable.

Posted 10/02/2011 09:00:00 PM by Douglas

What I don't know about political campaigning could fill a warehouse, but I think it's funny to think that your political slogan would look good on a children's picnic table:

One thing's for sure: In 2011, a children's picnic table with an Obama logo on it is really cheap. Also, as long as we're looking at American jobs, where was this table made? Do you even have to ask?

Posted 9/28/2011 05:18:00 PM by Douglas

The state of Texas, in all her infinite wisdom, has decided to destory one of 26 remaining Parker Truss bridges in the state. So in spite of spanning the river for 71 years, being listed by the National Parks Service on its National Registry of Historic Places for 15, it had been heavily salted and poorly maintained for most of those years, and TxDOT is going to replace it with a cheap, easy, and utterly charmless pre-cast concrete span. Is it any surprise they went with the absolute cheapest option?

Something tells me if this bridge in Austin were as poorly maintained and set for the wrecking ball, there would be a huge backlash of support to preserve these beautiful landmarks. But nobody care what happens out in the provinces. I'm sure they'll live to regret their decision, as the people in Collingsworth county already do.

There's all kinds of pictures of the bridge on FlicR, but I really like this one. I would like to know this guy's story.

Posted 9/25/2011 06:42:00 PM by Douglas

What was the joke from the debates last week, recycled from the Carter jokes from the 70s? What's it called when your neighbor loses his job? Recession. What's it called when you lose your job? Depression. What's it called when Obama loses his job? Recovery.

Well anyway, here's the endeavor of some opportunistic recruiting companies that have set up shop around the corner from JSC's front gate:

Easy pickins for a whole bunch of NASA workers that are about to hit the bread lines. But it's not like we didn't see this coming. To quote NASA director Bolden from last spring:

Our contractor workforce stands to bear the brunt of the adverse impacts that will result from this trajectory change in the road ahead, but we will stand by them and help in every way we can to ease the pain of employees needing to transition to other areas of the aerospace industry or even out of our industry. As I have said to all of you before, I can't possibly know how you feel right now because I don't have kids still at home trying to get out of high school or college, but I can empathize with your situation and do all in my power to compassionately help you deal with your personal situations.

Thanks for nuthin', Charlie. Keep in mind NASA's budget will remain largely unchanged at $18.7 Billion, while at the same time laying off over 6,000 contractors in Texas and Alabama and cancelling two huge programs, Constellation and Shuttle. So where is the money going? Why doesn't anyone know the answer to that question?

Posted 9/21/2011 09:35:00 PM by Douglas

This commercial is over the top. And if the results of this poll about it is any indication, say hello to your next president. I wouldn't have thought he was that electable, but when the leftys at the editorial board of The New York Times are saying how not even they are buying into his bullshit, he might want to ratchet up his campaign bullshit.

Posted 9/14/2011 10:18:00 PM by Douglas

These are strange days in the Lone Star State. Texas has suffered record drought all year, record heat, and hundreds of thousands of acres destroyed by welfare. But no one saw this one coming: feral monkey attacks.

The runaway wildfire that's been declared the worst in East Texas history after destroying dozens of homes and scorching 19,000 acres was expected to be a major challenge.

But authorities never dreamed they also would be chasing runaway monkeys.

Ten small Capuchin monkeys from South America, popularized by such movies as Pirates of the Caribbean, were freed from their cages in a monkey wildlife sanctuary in Waller County last week when the couple running the establishment was ordered to evacuate.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Posted 9/12/2011 10:01:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting, if not overwrought insight to other professions. I like the "E" section:

E is for Engineer
"I wish children could understand how much fun I have."
I am an engineer. Most people are scientifically and mathematically illiterate. Consequently, most people cannot fathom how much pleasure and delight I derive from my work. Of course I am also lucky to have a great job with great coworkers. But the pleasure of analyzing, say, the overall efficiency of a combined heat and power facility is hard to describe.

Well, this is partially true. My wife actually gets irritated that I never mind going to work. She does not feel exactly the same about her job.

I also wish children could understand how much fun I have. Because we need more engineers in this country for sure if we hope to remain globally competitive.

Yep, sounds about right, for a pretentious, self-absorbed asshole that's not nearly as smart as he thinks he is.

Posted 9/08/2011 05:24:00 PM by Douglas

This looks like a tasty burger. I love it when life imitates SNL:



Taco Town!!!!

Posted 9/08/2011 05:12:00 PM by Douglas

Caption this photo:

"Ron, I know you're the only real conservative on the stage, but if you mention Texas one more time I'm going to break off your hand, comb my great looking hair with your limp fingers and shove it up your Libertarian ass. WOOP!"

Posted 9/08/2011 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

Never before have I wanted to be a Texas Aggie so bad in my life. No, not because they're a bunch of brainwashed Houston suburbanite cult members or small town farmers with a GED. No, but because in their black or white (it's always white) universe, they can always have it both ways. Take for example, what the A&M President and ironic neckwear model Loftin said a year ago after Nebraska and Colorado left the Big 12 and they feigned off interest in a "Texas" version of the Longhorn Network:

Let me be clear: This decision was made in the best interests of Texas A&M and was not made in haste. As I mentioned to the Faculty Senate Monday afternoon, our top consideration was the demands placed on our student-athletes, in terms of academics, time away from the classroom, and the overall level of competition. There were also many other factors considered, including maintaining Texas A&M's strong foothold in the State of Texas and preserving our natural athletic rivalries, many of which date back more than 100 years. And, ultimately, by remaining a member of the Big 12, we were able to more than double our financial return to the levels being offered by other conferences.

Ok, sounds pretty sincere, even for an aggie in a bowtie. Now fast forward to today:

Texas A&M President R. Bowen Loftin said the Big 12's threats to force the Aggies into staying in the Big 12 were un-American. "We are being held hostage right now," Loftin told the Associated Press. "Essentially, we're being told that you must stay here against your will, and we think that really flies in the face of what makes us Americans, for example, and makes us free people."

Wow, what a difference a year makes. We've known the aggies were whiners for a long time now, but who would have thought that they would have been so vocal in calling out those that want to hold them to the obligations of a contract they themselves agreed to a little over a year ago.

Posted 9/07/2011 05:48:00 PM by Douglas

One thing's for sure, whoever wrote this has been to Amarillo.

Posted 9/07/2011 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

I got a better idea: ban swimming pools.

Luanne W believes her only son had no idea how potent this concoction was, and she has channeled her grief into a crusade to ban the sale of Everclear and other high-proof booze in Wisconsin, as some other states have done.

It's tragic a young man died, but it's not the fault of the booze any more than it's the fault of the pool. This 22 year old didn't buy beer. He bought liquor, high test liquor, and he bought it because it was the strongest thing on the shelf. So put the responsibility of this tragic death where it belongs, and it's not on the neck of an inanimate bottle.

Posted 8/29/2011 11:17:00 PM by Douglas

This story should be used to teach comedy workshops to aspiring comedians

Canisters of bull semen caused quite a scare on the on-ramp to Interstate 65 South Tuesday morning.

The canisters fell off a Greyhound bus just after 5 a.m. as the bus traveled around the curve of the ramp just south of downtown Nashville.

Fire and emergency crews were called to the scene amid reports of a foul odor.

When they discovered four unmarked canisters with steam and an unpleasant odor coming from them, they shut down the on-ramp and called HAZMAT crews.

Officials traced the containers to Greyhound after finding bus tickets on the ground. The bus did not know it lost its load and had continued on.

Hehe. .it lost its load. I'm sure it told the freight the trip was going to be a lot longer, but once it got going around the curve on the interstate, it just couldn't help itself, and prematurely unloaded on the highway.

A Greyhound spokesperson said it's not uncommon that the bus was carrying bull sperm.

As if we needed a reason not to ride the bus. Who wants to ride shotgun with a thermos full of bovine jizz.

Posted 8/16/2011 09:58:00 PM by Douglas

Ron Paul: the thirteenth floor of the fake right:

The Daily Show

Ron Paul. A true fiscal and conservative. So you can see why jackholes like this want to tank him:

I'm sorry, but this Ron Paul is gonna destroy this party if they keep him in there. This is nuts on parade. The media loves this guy 'cause he's nuts on parade. They want the whole Republican Party to be identified with the kookiness of Ron Paul.

Here's a guy that actually believes that all the foreign wars we're in are illegal, the Fed is stealing all your money, and thinks medicare is socialism. . . and the right thinks he's a kook. Boy are they fucked. . . .

Posted 8/07/2011 07:41:00 PM by Douglas

Once upon a time I was sitting in an undergraduate economics class at a small, secular university in central Texas when a dumb looking sorority girl (is that redundant?) opined, "why does the government run out of money. . can't they just print more?" Everyone, including the professor, rolled their eyes and there was a roll of laughter under everyone's breath. Well, turns out, either she wasn't the dumbest person in the class, or our economy is in big, big trouble. Enter the Greenspan:

Alan Greenspan, Former Chairman of the Federal Reserve: "Very much so. This is not an issue of credit rating, the United States can pay any debt it has because we can always print money to do that. So, there is zero probability of default."

If these are the ideas coming from The Greenspan, this can't be far behind.

Posted 8/04/2011 08:42:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting piece on the end of the Shuttle program, and what got us there.

The problem was that we won to early. By the time of Apollo the Russians understood that they couldn’t win, and they gave up on the race, and told the world it wasn’t worth winning anyway. The grapes were sour. (For those with a modern education, that image is from a story in Aesop’s Fables, and if you never read those as a child, you ought to; you’ve missed something.) So by the time we landed on the Moon, it wasn’t so clear why we were doing it, or what we would get out of it; but it was clear that America was Number One, and our ability to go to space, do things, and come home was the demonstration of that. It wasn’t precisely The Dream, but it would do.

As with any government operation, there are always back-room deals, or it doesn't work. I don't know how much of the Kennedy stuff is true, but from a sheer "jobs program" or "wow, that was cool" aspect, America got its money out of NASA in the last 50 years.

Posted 8/03/2011 10:42:00 PM by Douglas

God has been blogging.

Pretty pleased with what I’ve come up with in just six days. Going to take tomorrow off. Feel free to check out what I’ve done so far. Suggestions and criticism (constructive, please!) more than welcome. God out.

Pretty funny, but the comments are classic:

Disagree with the haters out there who have a problem with man having dominion over the fish of the sea, the fowl of the air, the cattle of the earth, and so on. However, I do think it’s worth considering giving the fowl of the air dominion over the cattle of the earth, because it would be really funny to see, like, a wildebeest or whatever getting bossed around by a baby duck.

Wow. Just wow. I don’t even know where to start. So the man and his buddy the rib-thing have dominion over everything. They’re going to get pretty unbearable really fast. What You need to do is make them think that there were other, bigger, scarier creatures around a long time before them. I suggest dinosaurs. No need to actually create dinosaurs—just create some weird-ass dinosaur bones and skeletons and bury them in random locations. Man will dig them up eventually and think, What the f?

Epic fail.

FIRST!!!

Posted 8/03/2011 10:36:00 PM by Douglas

Here's a great summary of the 'solution' to the debt crisis congress narrowly averted this week. It goes a bit off the deep end with Obama bashing, but I can't argue with most of it.

There are no spending cuts in this plan. It is all accounting fraud. Saying that you are not going to spend money in Afghanistan ten years from now is not spending cuts. Even if you accept the $1 Trillion in cuts over ten years propaganda, that is only $100 Billion per year, which is essentially meaningless relative to the size of the problem. Furthermore, even a miniscule uptick in interest rates, which given the massive debasement of our currency is now a mathematical certainty, will completely consume that $100 Billion per year. It's all a joke.

[...]

China is not going to lend us this money because they simply don't have anything close to that much money to lend. This $2 Trillion is going to come from the Federal Reserve. Where is the Federal Reserve going to get $2 Trillion? They are going to print it out of thin air. We are in the midst of the largest currency debasement ever seen in human history. There is only one result that can come of currency debasement: hyperinflation and total economic and societal collapse.

Yikes.

Posted 8/03/2011 10:30:00 PM by Douglas

Here's an upside to the record setting drought in Texas. The lakes are low enough that debris from the Columbia disaster in 2003 are finally during up in an East Texas lake.

A piece of debris from NASA's space shuttle Columbia has been discovered in Texas, eight years after the 2003 disaster that destroyed the spacecraft and killed its seven-astronaut crew during re-entry, NASA officials confirmed today (Aug. 2).

The debris was discovered last week in eastern Texas. It is a round aluminum power reactant storage and distribution tank from Columbia, which disintegrated over Texas as it re-entered Earth's atmosphere near the end of a 16-day science mission.

The tank was discovered in an exposed area of Lake Nacogdoches, in Nacogdoches, Texas, about 160 miles northeast of Houston.

Funny how some things turn out. I'm sure NASA gave up on looking for their tank by now. Not like the drought is solving any unsolved crimes.

Posted 7/26/2011 10:13:00 PM by Douglas

I've stayed away from the gnashing of teeth on the end of NASA's manned spaceflight program, almost as much as I've stayed from Lileks in the past seven years. But he nails this one.

So what’s the attachment, really? Childhood attachment to Star Trek fantasies, geeky fascination with spaceships, adolescent marination in sci-fi visions of rockets and moon bases and PanAm shuttles engaged in a sun-bathed ballet with a space station revolving to the strains of Strauss, phasers and warp six and technobabble and the love of great serene machinery knifing through clouds of glowing dust? Probably. It’s not over, I know – but it’s like watching the last of Columbus’ ships return, and learning they’re cutting up the mast for firewood, and no one’s planning to go back any time soon. At first you look at the ocean and imagine what’s out there, because that’s what you’ve been doing all your life – and then you lean to stop wondering, because it reminds you of the day you saw the last ship leave.

Let's go, or let's not. It's a matter of public opinion. But when it's over, man, is it gonna be over.

Posted 7/25/2011 05:29:00 PM by Douglas

Much with peak oil, no one really knows when "peak water" is going to hit and the Ogallala Aquifer dries up. But there's no reason to think that water is finding its way back into the ground nearly as fast as it's being pumped out. But no one will ever forget the day it dries up.

Happy's problem is that it has run out of water for its farms. Its population, dropping 10 per cent a year, is down to 595. The name, which brings a smile for miles around and plays in faded paint on the fronts of every shuttered business – Happy Grain Inc, Happy Game Room – has become irony tinged with bitterness. It goes back to the cowboy days of the 19th century. A cattle drive north through the Texas Panhandle to the rail heads beyond had been running out of water, steers dying on the hoof, when its cowboys stumbled on a watering hole. They named the spot Happy Draw, for the water. Now Happy is the harbinger of a potential Dust Bowl unseen in America since the Great Depression.

And it kinda drones on for 3,000 more words to get at relatively simple point: There's too many damn people drinkin' out of the well. So what's to be done? What can be done? No one drawing out of it today would be able to say they can stop and sustain the population and agriculture that exists currently, so that ain't going to happen. But mother nature is keeping score, and when that day comes that another acre foot can't be pumped out of it, plan to be somewhere else.

Posted 7/25/2011 05:10:00 PM by Douglas

NASA = RIP:

The Daily Show - Final Countdown

Posted 7/14/2011 11:51:00 PM by Douglas

What an adorable bookend to the end of an era in American space travel, and national pride:

Thirty years ago, the first space shuttle launched into the stratosphere. Chris Bray and his father Kenneth watched -- and took a picture. Then last Friday, the shuttle Atlantis took its final trip. Again, the Bray men were there. And again, the two snapped a photo to capture the moment.

The side-by-side photos, which are up on Chris Bray's Flickr photostream, immediately went viral on the Web.

Well that's just pretty durn cool. And at the same time, kinda sad.

Posted 7/14/2011 11:47:00 PM by Douglas

If only we could use his powers for the forces of good.

A Minnesota hacker prosecutors described as a “depraved criminal” was handed an 18-year prison term Tuesday for unleashing a vendetta of cyberterror that turned his neighbor’s lives into a living nightmare.

What did he do?

He then e-mailed the same child porn to one of the husband’s coworkers, and sent flirtatious e-mail to women in Mr. Kostolnik’s office. “You are such a fox,” read one of the e-mails. He sent the message’s through the husband’s genuine e-mail account.

After the husband explained to his law office superiors that he had no idea what was happening, his bosses hired a law firm that examined his network and discovered that an “unknown” device had access to it. With Kostolnik’s permission, they installed a packet sniffer on his network to try and get to the bottom of the incidents.

Then, in May 2009, the Secret Service showed up at Kostolnik’s office to ask about several threatening e-mails sent from his Yahoo account, and traced to his IP address, that were addressed to Biden and other politicians. The subject line of one e-mail read: “This is a terrorist threat! Take this seriously.”

Too far, dude, way too far.

Posted 7/14/2011 11:40:00 PM by Douglas

Randall Adams, the unintended star of The Thin Blue Line has died in the anonymity Errol Morris brought to him.

Randall Dale Adams, who spent 12 years in prison before his conviction in the murder of a Dallas police officer was thrown out largely on the basis of evidence uncovered by a filmmaker, died in obscurity in October in Washington Court House, Ohio. He was 61.

Mr. Adams had chosen to live a quiet life divorced from his past, and when he died on Oct. 30, 2010, of a brain tumor, the death was reported only locally, said his lawyer, Randy Schaffer. The death was first widely reported on Friday.

I can't imagine he wanted to live "divorced from his past" after spending a dozen years in the clink because the DPD are a bunch of bumbling idiots.

Posted 7/14/2011 11:35:00 PM by Douglas

Drowning does not look like drowning.

The new captain jumped from the cockpit, fully dressed, and sprinted through the water. A former lifeguard, he kept his eyes on his victim as he headed straight for the owners who were swimming between their anchored sportfisher and the beach. “I think he thinks you’re drowning,” the husband said to his wife. They had been splashing each other and she had screamed but now they were just standing, neck-deep on the sand bar. “We’re fine, what is he doing?” she asked, a little annoyed. “We’re fine!” the husband yelled, waving him off, but his captain kept swimming hard. ”Move!” he barked as he sprinted between the stunned owners. Directly behind them, not ten feet away, their nine-year-old daughter was drowning. Safely above the surface in the arms of the captain, she burst into tears, “Daddy!”

It's a terrifying situation to be in, and you're there before you know what happened, much less before you know what to do.

Posted 6/23/2011 11:36:00 PM by Douglas

Great video on the subtle complexities of dialing a phone for yourself in the 1950s. I guess it was just too complicated to explain the subtle differences between the letter 'O' and the number 'zero.'

Also, how do I send video with that thing?

Posted 6/20/2011 10:33:00 PM by Douglas

The gate is about to swing wide on such great websites as clownpenis.fart is about to get the greenlit.

A group charged with overseeing the development of the Internet voted Monday to relax the rules on website naming conventions -- potentially triggering a virtual domain name gold rush to rival the dot-com boom of the late 1990s.

I'm sure the porn industry is getting real excited about this.

Posted 6/20/2011 10:24:00 PM by Douglas

It's a good thing we stopped teaching history when the children stopped testing well. They were getting it all wrong anyway.

Another problem is method. "History is often taught in categories—women's history, African American history, environmental history—so that many of the students have no sense of chronology. They have no idea what followed what."

Posted 6/20/2011 10:20:00 PM by Douglas

Airbus sucks.

Korean Air Lines Co. Ltd. (003490.SE) flew to Airbus's rescue Monday, lending one of its A380 superjumbos for displays at this years Paris Air Show after the European commercial aircraft maker's own plane collided with a building.

A spokesman for Airbus said the A380 would fly at Le Bourget Monday and Tuesday and that it was using one of Korean's aircraft that had been on static display at the show.

Airbus Sunday was forced to pull its own aircraft out of planned displays as a result of the mishap. Its own double-decker aircraft sat idle with its right wing-tip covered, hiding the damage. "During ground maneuvers with the Airbus A380 flight test aircraft MSN 004, the aircraft's right hand wing-tip touched a structure near the taxiway," Airbus said in a statement Sunday.

A nearby building with the name "Embraer" emblazoned on the side showed signs of the collision, with the corner ripped out one-third of the way down. Embraer is Brazil's Empresa Brasileira de Aeronautica SA (ERJ, EMVRA3). Airbus is a unit of European Aeronautic Defence & Space Co. NV (EADSY).

That's one way to take out your competition.

Posted 6/20/2011 10:05:00 PM by Douglas

Japan works on making some horrible, horrible food.

Somehow this feels like a Vonnegut plotline: population boom equals food shortage. Solution? Synthesize food from human waste matter. Absurd yes, but Japanese scientists have actually discovered a way to create edible steaks from human feces.

Did you want a side of corn with that?

Posted 6/19/2011 08:15:00 PM by Douglas

I have a great idea how to make IndyCar racing more exciting. It's a brilliant idea and combines motor sports with math learning.

Every time the race is on ABC, someone gets to hit Scott Goodyear in the face with a rake on every prime-numbered lap. Maybe you could even sell chances to knock the crap OOUT of this no-talent cannok and send him back to the obscurity that spawned him.

It's got to be more entertaining than watching prime numbers come out of a bear's ass.

Posted 6/12/2011 02:19:00 PM by Douglas

There is much more to this story than they're letting on. Since when did they call out the friggin' swat team on the advice of a psychic?

Hunkered down in her trailer in the Texas Panhandle, a grandmother who had a vision that sparked a media circus and police search for alleged mass graves in Liberty County said she is being wronged and fears for children who may never be found.

"This is bad for people who call in a tip for something," she told the Houston Chronicle by phone Wednesday evening. "They think they have done a good deed, and it turns around on them."

You call the cops based on a "vision" and you're surprised that the media is being unkind to you? How did you not see that coming? You're obviously a horrible psychic

Posted 6/12/2011 02:08:00 PM by Douglas

Funny video of what Facebook and Twitter would look like in real life:



That's pretty good. I still think Chappelle did it best with this. And this perfectly sums up every internet comment thread I've ever seen. FIRST!

Posted 6/02/2011 10:28:00 PM by Douglas

Here's the homepage for Project Morpheus at JSC, and here's a video of its latest hover test from yesterday:



Pretty cool, eh? Here's the video of what happens next:



Here's the real irony: That building right NEXT to the burnt field is Houston Fire Department Station #72.

A new lunar lander that NASA workers were testing apparently sparked a grass fire this afternoon on the grounds at the Johnson Space Center, officials said.

The fire erupted about 2:40 p.m. in an empty field near Saturn and 2nd Street at the space center, officials said.

It was brought under control within about two hours. There were no reports of any injuries, officials said.

The testing believed to have ignited the grass fire was part of Project Morpheus — a NASA-designed lunar vehicle large enough to carry more than 1,000 pounds of cargo to the moon, officials said.

Who could have known that rocket engine would have set off a grass field that hasn't been rained on for four months?

Posted 6/02/2011 10:17:00 PM by Douglas

Hey, I think that's our kid, 3,233rd from the left.

Posted 5/25/2011 09:23:00 PM by Douglas

Hey, Mike Barnhart, do you really want to know why people hate IndyCar racing and most race fans would rather listen to NASCAR race on the radio than see an Indy Race in person? It's because of this bush league bullshit like this.

This year, Junqueira qualified 19th for the race in A.J. Foyt Racing's No. 41 car, but Foyt and Andretti Autosport owner Michael Andretti made a deal Monday that put Andretti Autosport driver Ryan Hunter-Reay into the car for Sunday's race.

Here's what happened. Hunter-Reay was sitting on the 33rd and final qualifying spot for the race with 3 minutes left to qualify this past Sunday, or Bump Day, as it's called. Marco Andretti went out and qualified, thus 'bumping' his teammate from the qualified drivers. I mean cars. Right, team owner Michael Andretti?

"I disagree with the idea that we are doing something to hurt the integrity of the Indy 500," he said in a statement. "We would never do that — ever. The rule is the fastest 33 cars make the race — not the 33 fastest drivers. And, that is what will be on track Sunday."

I wonder if he said that with a straight face. Your driver and his entire crew put together a car and everything that goes along with that. They don't make the cut. So you whip out your checkbook and buy a car from A.J. Foyt? What a load of crap. I hope A.J. got a lot of money, because they're both what's wrong with the entire event. It's bad enough they sold out their key sponsorship to some faggoty French T-shirt company.

Enjoy your slide, through the marbles, and into the wall of relevance, Indy.

Posted 5/21/2011 09:16:00 PM by Douglas

So I guess Jesus saw his shadow today, but nothing happened.

With no sign his forecast of Judgment Day arriving on Saturday has come true, the 89-year-old California evangelical broadcaster and former civil engineer behind the pronouncement seemed to have gone silent.

Family Radio, the Christian stations network headed by Harold Camping which had spread his message of an approaching doomsday, was on Saturday playing recorded church music and devotional messages unrelated to the apocalypse.

Camping previously made a failed prediction Jesus Christ would return to Earth in 1994.

Ooops. So how many mulligans does this guy get before people quit listening to him? Is there a better way to make use of this idiot's time? Sure there is.

After all, it might be if the Rev. Harold Camping is right. The 89-year-old California religious leader has pinpointed the human race's expiration date with mathematic exactitude: May 21, 2011.

In honor of that pronouncement, more than 200 people have signed up for tonight's "Rapture party" at the Fox and Hound English Pub and Grille on Westheimer, hosted by the Texas Free Thought Convention.

A table will be set up where people who expect to disappear in the Rapture can leave behind their possessions, such as car keys and bank account numbers.

"We'll make sure their stuff is in good hands," said Paul Mitchell, president of the Texas Free Thought Convention. "And if Camping is right and the Rapture does happen, we want to make sure we have a really good time beforehand, so we can say we partied like rock stars as the world came to an end."

Party down!

Posted 5/21/2011 01:34:00 PM by Douglas

Paula Deen is bat-shit crazy. That being said, I don't think her status as a gourmand could ever be impuned. Certainly not by this recipe:

Ingredients
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter
2 cans (14 1/2-ounces) English peas, drained

Directions
Melt the butter in small pot and add the peas. Cook over medium heat until peas are warm.

Whoa! Slow down there, Paula.

I still love Homer's definition of gourmand: Like a gormet, only fatter.

Posted 5/18/2011 10:28:00 PM by Douglas

Remember a few weeks ago when you saw that video from the National Geographic special about the couple that lives together and the dude is an adult baby? Sure you do, and it was weird and we all had a good laugh. Well, would you believe that the adult baby is on the government's tit, as well? He's been receiving SSI disability benefits for the past decade, and some people are none too pleased with that prospect.

Sen. Tom Coburn, Oklahoma Republican and the Senate’s top waste-watcher, asked the agency’s inspector general to look into 30-year-old Stanley T_____ and his roommate, Sandra D___, who acts as his “mother,” saying it’s not clear why they are collecting Supplemental Security Income (SSI) benefits instead of working.

“Given that Mr. T___ is able to determine what is appropriate attire and actions in public, drive himself to complete errands, design and custom-make baby furniture to support a 350-pound adult and run an Internet support group, it is possible that he has been improperly collecting disability benefits for a period of time,” Mr. Coburn wrote in a letter Monday to Inspector General Patrick P. O'Carroll Jr.

OK, it's weird, but why pick on this guy? How many people are mooching off SSI? Hell, Judge Judy wouldn't have a career if people weren't abusing the SSI program. But let's hear how he reacts to new found publicity:

“You wanna test how damn serious I am about leaving this world, screw with my check that pays for this apartment and food. Try it. See how serious I am. I don’t care,” the California man said. “I have no problem killing myself. Take away the last thing keeping me here, and see what happens. Next time you see me on the news, it will be me in a body bag.”

Wow, he threw a little baby fit. Who saw that coming?

Posted 5/17/2011 10:16:00 PM by Douglas

It's not often, ok, ever, that I find myself agreeing with Ruth "the badger" Ginsburg as the lone stalwart of The Supremes, but dang if this isn't a head scratcher.

Ruling in a Kentucky case Monday, the justices said that officers who smell marijuana and loudly knock on the door may break in if they hear sounds that suggest the residents are scurrying to hide the drugs.

The Kentucky case began when police in Lexington sought to arrest a man who had sold crack cocaine to an informer. They followed the man to an apartment building, but lost contact with him. They smelled marijuana coming from one apartment. Though it turned out not to be the apartment of their suspect, they pounded on the door, called, "Police," and heard people moving inside.

At this, the officers announced they were coming in and broke down the door. Instead of the original suspect, they found Hollis King smoking marijuana and arrested him. They also found powder cocaine. King was convicted of drug trafficking and sentenced to 11 years in prison.

So knock down the wrong door, totally surprise someone doing something illegal, and because you did it unknowingly and, as Alito says, because the "exigency wasn't created," it's now legal. Here's the whole opinion. I'm glad Ginsburg quoted this part from a ruling in 1947:

"The right of officers to thrust themselves into a home is . . . a grave concern, not only to the individual but to a society which chooses to dwell in reasonable security and freedom from surveillance. When the right of privacy must reasonably yield to the right of search is,as a rule, to be decided by a judicial officer, not a policeman . . ."If the officers in this case were excused from the constitutional duty of presenting their evidence to a magistrate, it is difficult to think of [any] case in which [a warrant] should be required."

Thanks a lot, 1947. You gave them too many ideas.

Posted 5/17/2011 09:55:00 PM by Douglas

More on the Mississippi from Mr. Weather, Jeff Masters:

While I expect that the Old River Control Structure will indeed hold back the great flood of 2011, we also need to be concerned about the levees on either side of the structure. The levees near Old River Control Structure range from 71 – 74 feet high, and the flood is expected to crest at 65.5 feet on May 22. This is, in theory, plenty of levee to handle such a flood, but levees subjected to long periods of pressure can and do fail sometimes, and the Corps has to be super-careful to keep all the levees under constant surveillance and quickly move to repair sand boils or piping problems that might develop. Any failure of a levee on the west bank of the Mississippi could allow the river to jump its banks permanently and carve a new path to the Gulf of Mexico.

This is from Friday and the Morganza spillway has been open for three days now.

Posted 5/16/2011 11:39:00 PM by Douglas

For a line of credit increase, press one.

The United States reached its $14.3 trillion limit on federal borrowing Monday, leaving Congress 11 weeks to raise the threshold or risk a financial panic or another recession.

If it doesn't raise the limit, Congress would have to come up with $738 billion to make up for what it planned to borrow through the end of the fiscal year on Sept. 30. The options are drastic: Cut 40 percent of the budget through September, which might mean defaulting on payments to investors in government bonds; raise taxes immediately; or some combination of the two.

Wow, I never get tired of this story. Thankfully, it doesn't seem like I'll have to, since this happens just about every year. I finally made a tag for it! The details:

In 2010, Congress raised the limit to nearly $14.3 trillion from $12.4 trillion. Three decades ago, the national debt was $908 billion. But Washington spent more than it took in, and the debt rose steadily — surpassing $1 trillion in 1982, then $5 trillion in 1996. It reached $10 trillion in 2008 as the financial crisis and recession dried up tax revenue and as the government spent more on unemployment benefits and other programs.

Sleep tight, kids.

Labels: debt ceiling

Posted 5/14/2011 09:00:00 PM by Douglas

So it begins:

A steel, 10-ton floodgate was slowly raised Saturday for the first time in nearly four decades, unleashing a torrent of water from the Mississippi River, away from heavily populated areas downstream.

The water spit out slowly at first, then began gushing like a waterfall as it headed to swamp as much as 3,000 square miles of Cajun countryside known for small farms and fish camps. Some places could wind up under as much as 25 feet of water.

Opening the Morganza spillway diverts water away from Baton Rouge and New Orleans, and the numerous oil refineries and chemical plants along the lower reaches of the Mississippi.

“We’re using every flood control tool we have in the system,” Army Corps of Engineers Maj. Gen. Michael Walsh said Saturday from the dry side of the spillway, before the bay was opened. The podium Walsh was standing at was expected to be under several feet of water Sunday.

Sit tight, kids we're still in act one of this play. . . .

Posted 5/14/2011 01:41:00 PM by Douglas

Here comes the flood.

The Army Corps of Engineers announced today that if it opens the Morganza Floodway north of Baton Rouge to reduce the height of Mississippi River floodwaters flowing south, the flow into the Atchafalaya River basin may be limited to only a fourth of the floodway's capacity.

Until today, corps officials have said 300,000 cubic feet per second of water, half the floodway's capacity, would flow down the Atchafalaya.

In its statement, the corps said the flow at Red River Landing had reached 1.45 million cubic feet per second at 7 a.m. today, and is projected to reach 1.5 million cubic feet per second this weekend.

The key will be whether that's enough to keep water flow levels above the Bonnet Carre Spillway to 1.5 million cubic feet per second. That spillway, when all 350 bays are opened, diverts 250,000 cubic feet per second of water into Lake Pontchartrain, which would allow only 1.25 million cubic feet per second to pass the Carrollton Gage in New Orleans.

Here's what I don't understand. Bonnet Carre is always first to open, dumping water into Pontchartrain. But if the whole system gets overwhelmed, isn't that just going to be MORE water in New Orleans? It's the Lake Pontchartrain levees that failed during Katrina. The Army's battle with gravity is going to get interesting this week.

Posted 5/11/2011 09:25:00 PM by Douglas

The record flooding on the upper Mississippi River is headed for the, wait for it, LOWER Mississippi River. Sounds pretty logical, right? Well duh, but here's why it's a big deal to people NOT just in the Atchafalaya Basin:

But the real threat posed by this historic, gathering flood may well lie several hundred miles to the south, where the Mississippi crosses the Louisiana border. There, as the Corps well knows but dare not discuss, this historic flood threatens to overwhelm one of the frailest defenses industrial humanity has offered to preserve its profits from the immutable processes of nature. This flood has the potential to be a mortal blow to the economy of the United States, and outside the Corp of Engineers virtually no one knows why.

Don't like $4 a gallon gas? Good, you won't have time to get used to it if the refineries between Baton Rouge and New Orleans are shut down because the course of the Mississippi changes course this weekend.

Well good luck with all that. For a good source of current events of as this unfolds, try this. And here's a great history of the problem, and 60 years of the Army Corps of Engineers trying to make water flow uphill.

Posted 5/11/2011 08:54:00 PM by Douglas

Great video of the new Boeing 747 take-off abort test. Let's just say a million pounds going 200 miles per hour don't exactly stop on a dime:

HOT FOOT!!!

Posted 5/08/2011 05:59:00 PM by Douglas

I've tried to avoid this one, but I'm afraid I have to weigh in on slut-walk. Check out the picture:

Why is it that in a "Slut Walk," the only nipple we see is on a fat, hairy dude? Sluts, where are your nipps? But I digress. Sluts, speak out:

Some women and men who protest dress in nothing more remarkable than jeans and T-shirts, while others wear provocative or revealing outfits to bring attention to "slut-shaming," or shaming women for being sexual, and the treatment of sexual assault victims.

Ok, sure the guy made a stupid comment. Is he advocating sexual abuse against women? No. But, there might be some situations women find themselves in that would increase their likelihood of being a victim, but we can't talk about that, because sluts have a right to live consequence-free lives, right?

Dave Chappelle had the best take on this, when he called a woman a slut because she was dressed like one. She became incensed, and he likened that to people becoming confused as if he were wearing a policeman's uniform. Is it fair to confuse the uniform for the person? Absolutely. You may not be a slut, but if you're wearing the uniform, you might as well be.

Posted 5/03/2011 06:39:00 PM by Douglas

Now that we've had a few days to settle down about the killing of Bin Laden, I think it's apt to trot out a great essay from George Orwell and his take on revenge. I love his angle here about the perception of the oppressed as he becomes the oppressor:

I concluded that he wasn't really enjoying it, and that he was merely--like a man in a brothel, or a boy smoking his first cigar, or a tourist traipsing round a picture gallery--TELLING himself that he was enjoying it, and behaving as he had planned to behave in the days he was helpless.

How perfect. "I know I'm supposed to enjoy this. . so why don't I?" I don't think the world was a better place with OBL in it, but his demise gives us very little to celebrate. In short, he won, and he was looking for this bullet for the last 15 years. The "war on terror" isn't any closer to being over, we're not any safer, and the draconian law that were enacted because of him will never, ever go away. So celebrate the revenge, morons, and think real hard about the times when you used to be able to get on an airplane without getting felt up.

Here's an amusing send up of a past not likely to return:

Posted 5/01/2011 10:14:00 PM by Douglas

Where to live to avoid natural disaster. Suck it, Dallas.

Posted 5/01/2011 10:12:00 PM by Douglas

Bin Laden is dead. Just as soon as they show his death certificate to Donald Trump.

Posted 4/29/2011 10:46:00 PM by Douglas

Another event in the decathlon of labor union irrelevance.

In Scranton, Pennsylvania, the police union has filed a grievance with the state collective bargaining board over a drug arrest made by police chief Dan Duffy in March, “because the chief is not a member of the collective bargaining unit and was ‘off duty’ when the March 20 arrest was made.

Sounds about right.

Posted 4/29/2011 10:41:00 PM by Douglas

Baffling moronic story about labor unions and their relevance in intra-state turf battle.

Nine state attorneys general sounded off in a letter to the National Labor Relations Board, calling a complaint it filed against Boeing for opening a production facility in South Carolina an assault on their states' economies.

After receiving a complaint from the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers, the NLRB claims Boeing participated in unfair labor practices by threatening to open new, non-union facilities elsewhere when workers went on strike at the company's Washington state production facility in 2008.

"This complaint represents an assault upon the constitutional right of free speech, and the ability of our states to create jobs and recruit industry. Your ill-conceived retaliatory action seeks to destroy our citizens' right to work," the letter from the attorneys general reads.

The NLRB complaint attempts to keep Boeing from building 787 airliners in the Palmetto State plant, not shut it down. But the company designed the facility to produce three of those type of airplanes each month.

Soooo, union states don't know why companies want to take their jobs where they don't have to put up with their shenanigans. Maybe they should go on strike again and think about why they'd want to move their plant to a right-to-work state.

Posted 4/29/2011 06:29:00 PM by Douglas

I'm all about polite political discourse when it comes to disagreeing with any layer of the government, but sometimes, it's just stupid. First off, I have a problem with the term "guerrillas" when discussing the objections one group has over a democratically elected leader. It's all about the words, isn't it? A democratically elected president isn't a "regime." But here's the funny part:

It is a principle of political science that it is easier to persuade people to vote against something or someone than to persuade them to vote in favor of something.

Sure, it's easy to poke holes at the incumbent, but what solution does this option offer up? A sticky note.

The Sticky Note Campaign is making deliveries in Georgia Supermarkets now. Super-Charged with Conservative ideals REAL Americans all over the country and even an awakened Democrat or two are now participating in this grass roots initiative. Its not a partisan issue either, no one can afford these rising prices at the gas pump or the grocery store.

Yay! 3M is going to make out like a bandit on this on, as idiots all over the country are going to think that their high cost of Hot Wheels, Cheerios and gasoline is Obama's fault. But this is the best part that shows how looney they are:

I like it. It's a simple way to highlight the effects of the Democrats' disastrous deficit spending

Riiiight. Deficit spending is so one sided, isn't it?

Look, if you're upset with your government, do something about it. Don't litter someone's store with pithy sticky notes.

Posted 4/27/2011 09:52:00 PM by Douglas

Welcome to the welfare empire. Here's your great society LBJ, thanks a lot. Poverty is over, yay!

The best estimate of the cost of the 185 federal means tested welfare programs for 2010 for the federal government alone is nearly $700 billion, up a third since 2008, according to the Heritage Foundation. Counting state spending, total welfare spending for 2010 reached nearly $900 billion, up nearly one-fourth since 2008 (24.3%).

Yet, by 2008, Robert Rector of Heritage reports that total welfare spending already amounted to $16,800 per person in poverty, 4 times as much as the Census Bureau estimated was necessary to bring all of the poor up to the poverty level, eliminating all poverty in America. That would be $50,400 per poor family of three. Indeed, Charles Murray wrote a whole book, In Our Hands, A Plan to Replace America’s Welfare State explaining that we already spend far more than enough to completely eliminate all poverty in America.

So if we're giving away more money than it would cost to flat out buy everyone out of poverty, what's the problem? Why didn't it work? Don't answer that. But here's what kinda surprised me:

Then there is federal housing assistance, totaling $77 billion in 2010. Housing Opportunities for Persons with AIDS (HOPWA), among others.

What? Is there anyone that's not getting some kind of government assistance?

Posted 4/26/2011 09:08:00 PM by Douglas

30 Rock is the funniest thing on TV since the Simpson's was funny. I really like this one:

95. We hope NBC continues to struggle, if only so 30 Rock can continue to make knowing jokes about it.

Looks like it's going to be around for a long time.

Posted 4/23/2011 05:49:00 PM by Douglas

Weighing in from the last time Wikipedia stole my afternoon, here's round two. Wow, there's quite a lot there, but if that fills you up, try this one.

Posted 4/23/2011 05:33:00 PM by Douglas

Great video of the history of the shuttle program. Hopefully the shuttle won't be the history of America's space exploration program.

Posted 4/21/2011 10:55:00 PM by Douglas

Never underestimate a pissed off calico cat.

Nobody is sure what happened exactly. However, we do know that security guards on Governors Island found the cat looking a bit worse for the wear last weekend near the island's shore.

According to the AP, the cat's "fur was salty, matted, and caked with seaweed." Some of the workers on the island think the cat was swept up in a New Jersey rainstorm, and somehow managed to swim to safety. The cat didn't have a collar.

That's one tough kitty.

Posted 4/16/2011 02:00:00 PM by Douglas

More fallout on the ultimate location of retired space shuttles, "Chuck Schumer, shut the fuck up" edition.

"I say to Houston, when people all around the world, in London and in Tokyo and in Paris, Buenos Aires say 'Gee, I can't wait for my trip to Houston,' then you can have a shuttle," said Schumer.

But it's not just about tourism, is it?

By his logic that the shuttles belong in the most internationally visited places, we should give the Enterprise to Paris, which has nearly twice as many international visitors and just as much to do with NASA's success.

New York, the city with the most tourist attractions in the country, needs a shuttle added to the mix like Donald Trump needs another bankrupt building with his name on it. Houston, on the other hand, considers the space program its contribution to posterity and the heart of a town built around science and engineering.

Hard to argue with that. Also hard to argue that Schumer isn't an asshole, but that's a different story. Even harder to argue with Wayne Hale, who used to run the shuttle program:

But my suspicions lie closer to home. Houston didn’t get an orbiter because Houston didn’t deserve it.

He goes on to back up this thesis quite well. There is a ho-hum sense of entitlement about JSC in the minds of Houston. That's because JSC doesn't launch anything, and as far as the Houston economy, it's a spot on the fly on the ass on the dog that is the petrochemical industry and energy sector.

Still, it would have been nice to have a shuttle in Houston. All the retired NASA engineers could take their kids there to show them the space ship they used to work on before they went to work in the oil patch.

Posted 4/16/2011 01:45:00 PM by Douglas

Roger Ebert reviews the new Atlas Shrugged movie, with typical results.

The movie is constructed of a few kinds of scenes: (1) People sipping their drinks in clubby surroundings and exchanging dialogue that sounds like corporate lingo; (2) railroads, and lots of ’em; (3) limousines driving through cities in ruin and arriving at ornate buildings; (4) city skylines; (5) the beauties of Colorado. There is also a love scene, which is shown not merely from the waist up but from the ears up. The man keeps his shirt on. This may be disappointing for libertarians, who I believe enjoy rumpy-pumpy as much as anyone.

Four year old "Thomas the Train" fans aside, I would be surprised if the railroad aspect would play well in the 21st century. But yes, I think libertarians enjoy "rumpy-pumpy" as the much as anyone.

Posted 4/12/2011 11:02:00 PM by Douglas

I'm pretty sure if he wanted to, a dolphin could rip the head off a cat and eat him for breakfast. That is, if he wanted to do it on porpoise. But what if he just wants to play?



But this video further illustrates my theory that tabbies are the Mexicans of the cat world. Picking a fight with a bigger mammal when you're obviously out-numbered and out-toothed.

Posted 4/12/2011 05:34:00 PM by Douglas

Coming not as a surprise to anyone paying attention, the home of NASA's Mission Control Center will not be getting a retired space shuttle so fat tourists can walk around and gawk at it.

NASA administrator Charles Bolden announced today the four museums -- the Smithsonian Institution (Discovery), the California Science Center (Endeavour), Kennedy Space Center (Atlantis) and the Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum (Enterprise) -- that will receive space shuttles for public display after the fleet retires this summer.

As expected Houston, the home of human spaceflight, was snubbed.

It's a shame. Houston's campaign, Bring the Shuttle Home, probably deserves some blame for being late to the game in terms of politicking for an orbiter.

But I'm not sure any campaign could have saved Houston. The politics of this decision were pretty clear. President Obama appoints the NASA administrator, and Texas is a decidedly Republican state.

Interesting to note that three of the four locations that received an orbiter, California, New York, and D.C., are the bluest of the blue states, and Florida is a swing state. Was there any push, politically, to make Texas happy? Of course not, which is why I'm surprised Ohio missed out, but I'll get to that.

It's political, duh. With the exception of Florida's latitude, the location of EVERY NASA center is political, so I can't fault Barry (via Charlie) for the political decision. Actually, I can give him a little credit for taking any common sense out of the decision and making it so clearly political, the motivation isn't even worth questioning.

But to the bigger question, does KSC/JSC even want one? Sure, it's a rich heritage of the agency's past and a huge accomplishment for the nation, but let's face it: It's a relic. It's getting mothballed because we're moving on to something, if not bigger, but better (try not to laugh). Don't we need to move on? Leave the relics to the museums and the bus loads of 4th graders that wanted to get out of class for the day, and let's get on with our business of building space ships and flying humans to the heavens. That's why I thought Ohio was such a great choice. Let the 40 year old orbiter corrode with the rest of the rust belt to remind the unemployed union workers why their factories are closed and why all their work has moved South or overseas.

It's a slap in the face to all the rocket scientists at JSC that there's an orbiter in LA, and another one a half a day's drive from the Smithsonian, but Houston needs to get back to work and let the historians worry about the relics.