Posted 3/29/2011 09:30:00 PM by Douglas

What's wrong with social security? Santorum, hit me with some crazy:

"The Social Security system, in my opinion, is a flawed design, period. But having said that, the design would work a lot better if we had stable demographic trends," Santorum said. "We don't have enough workers to support the retirees . . . . A third of the young people in America are not in America today because of abortion."

Oh wow, there's so many things wrong with that I can't even decide where to start. First off, there's not enough people due to abortion? I don't want to google how many abortions are performed a year in this country any more than I want to google Santorum (if you don't know the joke, don't do it), but I don't think there's anywhere close to a straight line between abortions and any lack of little worker bees in this country subject to the government's confiscatory taxes.

But just like any good ponzi scheme, and Social Security is the best one in the world because you go to jail if you don't contribute, you have to have new suckers all the time paying into it or it just doesn't work.

But on the other side of that coin, if the ponzi scheme isn't working, it means you have too many people pulling money out than you have paying in. So doesn't that mean there's too many people at the top of the pyramid? So instead of blaming too few people on the bottom, why not blame another federal money pit, Medicare, for keeping old people alive too long. Wouldn't that "fix" social security, too?

So don't go blaming not enough people getting born into a horrible socialist nightmare ponzi scheme. Blame not enough people dying out of it.

Posted 3/26/2011 03:19:00 PM by Douglas

Speaking of that "kinetic military action" in Libya, how's that going? The side of the conflict that's trying to militarily overthrow the seated government of a sovereign nation, you know, the side we're supporting with million dollar cruise missiles and air support, they're a bunch of good guys, right? It's not like they're al Qaeda or nuthing, right? RIGHT? Oh crap.

Abdel-Hakim al-Hasidi, the Libyan rebel leader, has said jihadists who fought against allied troops in Iraq are on the front lines of the battle against Muammar Gaddafi's regime.

Well that's just perfect. I wonder if the CIA recognizes any of them. You know, from the last time they armed and trained al Qaeda to someone we didn't like. Of course the present administration, just like every one that came before it, can envision absolutely no backlash from this.

Posted 3/26/2011 03:08:00 PM by Douglas

The first step in altering public perception of unpopular events? Rebranding.

In the last few days, Obama administration officials have frequently faced the question: Is the fighting in Libya a war? From military officers to White House spokesmen up to the president himself, the answer is no. But that leaves the question: What is it?

In a briefing on board Air Force One Wednesday, deputy national security adviser Ben Rhodes took a crack at an answer. "I think what we are doing is enforcing a resolution that has a very clear set of goals, which is protecting the Libyan people, averting a humanitarian crisis, and setting up a no-fly zone," Rhodes said. "Obviously that involves kinetic military action, particularly on the front end."

Kinetic military action. Wow, that White House thesaurus is paying for itself.

Posted 3/26/2011 03:04:00 PM by Douglas

Happy Birthday, baby Jessica:

Baby Jessica, the toddler who tumbled down an abandoned water well and got trapped more than two decades ago, turns 25 today, a milestone that gives her access to a trust fund of up to $800,000 donated by thousands of sympathetic strangers who spent 2 days glued to the television until she was free.

Wow, that's a lot of money. Not that she couldn't use it (hell, I could use it) but why would people donate to her, personally, rather than to the countless hours of people's time and equipment that was used to extricate her? But anyway, what does her dad have to say about all this:

"That's all Jessica has ever wanted was to be a mom and have a family," said her father, Lewis "Chip" McClure. "She's a good mom and keeps her eyes on her kids. She's certainly a doting mother."

Seeing how she lives less than two miles from the ill fated well, she'd better do a better job keeping an eye on her kids than her momma did.

Posted 3/23/2011 09:31:00 PM by Douglas

If I voted based on hollow campaign promises, I would vote for Mitt Romney

If I were president, on Day One I would issue an executive order paving the way for Obamacare waivers to all 50 states. The executive order would direct the Secretary of Health and Human Services and all relevant federal officials to return the maximum possible authority to the states to innovate and design health-care solutions that work best for them.

As I have stated time and again, a one-size-fits-all national plan that raises taxes is simply not the answer. Under our federalist system, the states are “laboratories of democracy.”

First off, Mitt, I know you like to think about such things when you go to sleep at night in your special underwear, but you probably don't need to spend too much time on your If I Were President list. But while you're at it, and you're going to stop the confiscatory taxing the federal government does to provide health care, let's go ahead and roll back Medicare while we're at it. The states do it better, right? Go ahead and announce that and see how far that gets you.

Also, in German, your name means "With Romney."

Posted 3/23/2011 05:47:00 PM by Douglas

Another footnote in the history of the American Empire of when we undertook great, inspiring, compelling projects that, at the time, seemed beyond us. I won't shed too many tears for the last flight of Discovery, though the pictures here might. Do we want to do great things, or do we want to become a welfare state that has a lot of pretty pictures of our attempts to send man into the heavens?

Posted 3/22/2011 09:00:00 PM by Douglas

Egypt overthrew its government, there's a revolution in Tunisia, Saudi Arabia sends its troops to quash the rebellion against Bahrain, Iran fired on its protestors last year. Yet we be bomb Libya in support of its current coup d’etat. How would a fledgling uprising know if they're going to get support from the United States? The Daily Show is here to help:

The Daily Show - America's Freedom Packages

Posted 3/21/2011 08:38:00 PM by Douglas

The Honorable Ron Paul weighs in on the Libyan thing. Guess what? He's against it!

It is alarming how casually the administration talks about initiating acts of war, as though Article 1 Section 8 of the Constitution does not exist. Frankly, it is not up to the President whether or not we intervene in Libya, or set up “no-fly” zones, or send troops. At least, it is not if we follow the Constitution. Even by the loose standards of the War Powers Resolution, which cedes far too much power to the president, he would have no authority to engage in hostilities because we have not been attacked – not by Gaddafi, and not by the rebels.

So. . .

• The United States has no reason to engage in acts of war against Libya.
• The Executive branch does not have the Constitutional authority to engage in acts of war against Libya.
• American intervention in another country's coup d’etat will undermine the legitimacy of whichever side wins.
• We're broke and can't afford the two wars we currently have, much less another one.

Too bad no one is listening.

Posted 3/21/2011 08:25:00 PM by Douglas

Candidate Obama:

The President does not have power under the Constitution to unilaterally authorize a military attack in a situation that does not involve stopping an actual or imminent threat to the nation.

As Commander-in-Chief, the President does have a duty to protect and defend the United States. In instances of self-defense, the President would be within his constitutional authority to act before advising Congress or seeking its consent. History has shown us time and again, however, that military action is most successful when it is authorized and supported by the Legislative branch. It is always preferable to have the informed consent of Congress prior to any military action.

This Libyan excursion should seal the deal on alienating any of the base that vote for him 3 years ago.

Posted 3/20/2011 02:53:00 PM by Douglas

Meanwhile, back at the ranch:

Palestinian militants in Gaza fired more than 50 mortar shells into Israel on Saturday, the heaviest barrage in two years, Israeli officials said, raising the prospect of a new Mideast flareup.

Also Saturday, Hamas police beat reporters and news photographers covering a rally in Gaza City, drawing a stiff condemnation from the reporters' association.

A Hamas official was killed and four civilians were wounded when Israel hit back with tank fire and air strikes, said Gaza Health Ministry spokesman Adham Abu Salmia.

Good to hear the Israelis are working on their 'bomb your way to peace' plan.

Posted 3/20/2011 02:20:00 PM by Douglas

Space travel is complicated, more than most folks realize. Especially back in the height of the space race with the Soviets. Here's an interesting story of a tragic mission everyone knew about, but launched anyway.

The space vehicle is shoddily constructed, running dangerously low on fuel; its parachutes — though no one knows this — won't work and the cosmonaut, Vladimir Komarov, is about to, literally, crash full speed into Earth, his body turning molten on impact. As he heads to his doom, U.S. listening posts in Turkey hear him crying in rage, "cursing the people who had put him inside a botched spaceship."

Well it's not like he could refuse the mission. And if he did, look who would replace him:

Starman tells the story of a friendship between two cosmonauts, Vladimir Kamarov and Soviet hero Yuri Gagarin, the first human to reach outer space. The two men were close; they socialized, hunted and drank together.

In 1967, both men were assigned to the same Earth-orbiting mission, and both knew the space capsule was not safe to fly. Komarov told friends he knew he would probably die. But he wouldn't back out because he didn't want Gagarin to die. Gagarin would have been his replacement.

Russayev asked, Why not refuse? According to the authors, Komarov answered: "If I don't make this flight, they'll send the backup pilot instead." That was Yuri Gagarin. Vladimir Komarov couldn't do that to his friend. "That's Yura," the book quotes him saying, "and he'll die instead of me. We've got to take care of him." Komarov then burst into tears.

Wow. Talk about a wingman. Too bad Gagarin died a year later. How did he thank him?

The authors then mention a rumor, never proven (and to my mind, most unlikely), that one day Gagarin did have a moment with Brezhnev and he threw a drink in Brezhnev's face.

I doubt it. Or, perhaps that's why he died in a plane crash.

Posted 3/19/2011 04:27:00 PM by Douglas

Is there something magical about March 19th that gives the United States the uncontrollable urge to invade an Arab nation for seemingly no reason? There's today, and then there was Iraq eight years ago. How'd that turn out, by the way?

Posted 3/19/2011 04:22:00 PM by Douglas

Oh sure, this is only the beginning.

A series of more than 110 cruise missile strikes on Libyan targets is only the first phase of a multiphase operation, a senior U.S. military official said on Saturday.

Vice Admiral Bill Gortney, director of the U.S. military's Joint Staff, declined to discuss what the next phase of the operations would be. He said more than 20 sites had been targeted in coalition strikes so far.

110 Tomahawks is only $63 million. I'll wait for Fox News to tell us how this is good for our economy.

Posted 3/19/2011 04:02:00 PM by Douglas

The first causality of war is always irony.

Earlier, French fighter jets deployed over Libya fired at a military vehicle Saturday, the country's first strike against Gadhafi's military forces, who earlier attacked the rebel stronghold of Benghazi.

Prime Minister David Cameron said late Saturday that British forces also are in action over Libya. "What we are doing is necessary, it is legal and it is right," he said. "I believe we should not stand aside while this dictator murders his own people."

So we're raining bombs on Libya, again, this time with the French? Anyone remember the last time we bombed Libya and the French wouldn't even let the Air Force fly over? Also, does anyone recall that bombing crazy people doesn't necessarily deter crazy people from attacking us? This was a direct result of the last Libyan bombing, but I'm sure this time they'll learn the error of their ways. But back to Prime Minister Cameron's statement:

"I believe we should not stand aside while this dictator murders his own people."

Interesting. I don't think that's a bad policy, either, but I wonder magical difference the Libyans have that the Iranians don't. Why was it OK to let their dictator murder his own people? Apparently this was OK.

Posted 3/14/2011 09:44:00 PM by Douglas

Idiots not content with people not smoking, want to make it harder for people (kids) to even see people smoking in movies.

“A lot of kids are going to start smoking because of this movie,” said Stanton Glantz, director of the Center for Tobacco Control Research and Education at the University of California-San Francisco. Youths who frequently see smoking onscreen are two to three times more likely to begin smoking than peers who rarely see it depicted, he said.

Thank you, from the bureau of stuff we just pulled out of our arse. Also, if you think this argument against smoking in movies is too stupid, be careful about making even dumber ideas. Try this on for size, Portland:

The Portland City Council approved a proposal Wednesday to make all city offices fragrance-free.

The policy is designed to protect employees with health issues, such as asthma.

This means all workers will be asked to not wear cologne, perfume, aftershave or other scented products like hair sprays and lotion.

Employees can now face disciplinary action for wearing too much scent.

Not any dumber than the smoke-ban in bars.

Posted 3/13/2011 03:41:00 PM by Douglas

Japan just can't catch a break. Volcano?

A volcano in southwestern Japan erupted Sunday after nearly two weeks of relative silence, sending ash and rocks up to four kilometres (two and a half miles) into the air, a local official says.

And check out the pictures here.

Posted 3/12/2011 08:05:00 PM by Douglas

The pictures from Japan are heartwrenching, but am I the only one wondering about this?

Cooling systems failed at another nuclear reactor on Japan's devastated coast Sunday, hours after an explosion at a nearby unit made leaking radiation, or even outright meltdown, the central threat to the country following a catastrophic earthquake and tsunami.

Isn't this how Godzilla got started? Why won't someone please think of Godzilla!?!?!

Posted 3/12/2011 07:57:00 PM by Douglas

I've got a better idea when it comes to splitting the check at a restaurant. Don't go out to eat with a bunch of assholes.

Did you not drink as much as everyone else? Was your pasta entree half as expensive as the steak? Did you not get dessert? I'm sorry, but no one told you to be a teetotaler, or to not get the steak, or to not get dessert, you pussy. When you agreed to go out to dinner with your friends, you implicitly agreed to the following social contract: “I, (your name), hereby agree that when the bill comes, I will pay my share of the bill, calculated as follows: Total cost divided by # of people, regardless of who got what and how many. I further agree not to publicly complain about this methodology, even if I get a little screwed, because there will be times in the future when what I end up paying is considerably less than the dollar value of what I eat/drank. It evens out over time. Sincerely, (your signature).” Granted, there are obvious exceptions—e.g., you showed up late and really did only order a glass of wine—when no one would expect you to pay a full share, yet even in these cases it's generally polite to throw in some cash.

So you go out with your "friends" and you try to outdo each other so you can stick someone else for paying for something you ate and they didn't. You're an asshole.

Posted 3/08/2011 09:26:00 PM by Douglas

I love these pseudo-science wank-a-thons that want to prove whatever miserable hypothesis they've already agreed upon, but this one is pretty funny:

Some economists have argued that having kids is an economically silly investment; after all, it's cheaper to hire end-of-life care than to raise a child.

Let's be clear: You're stupid if end-of-life health care comes into the discussion of whether or not to have children. You're even stupider if you're my parents and this decision was the one that broke the tie. Sorry parents.

Here's how cognitive-dissonance theory works when applied to parenting: having kids is an economic and emotional drain. It should make those who have kids feel worse. Instead, parents glorify their lives. They believe that the financial and emotional benefits of having children are significantly higher than they really are.

Wow, what a princely summation. I think the same could be said for BMWs, iPhones, and Crocs. The difference being the time commitment involved.

Posted 3/03/2011 05:41:00 PM by Douglas

I hope Zsa Zsa is OK. She's already got one foot in the grave.

Doctors say Zsa Zsa Gabor needs to have her remaining leg amputated, but the 94-year-old actress is declining the surgery.

Publicist John Blanchette says Gabor will be released from the hospital Friday. She was admitted Wednesday after blood flow to her left leg suddenly stopped.

Most of Gabor's right leg was amputated in January because of gangrene.

She's 94. Let her slap another cop and get on with her day.

Posted 3/03/2011 05:35:00 PM by Douglas

Your car says a lot about you. It tells others who you are. Your bumper stickers tell who you want to be. So check out this, poor, poor misguided soul:

So. . . you don't want to hit a woman, but you like bacon. M'k. . . can you hit a woman with bacon? Oh well, it's a Corolla. He hasn't seen a woman in years.

Posted 3/03/2011 01:02:00 PM by Douglas

Finally, someone that's talking serious budget cuts talks about the sainted holy ponzi scheme of Social Security:

Sure, the political system seems to be engaged in big debates about the budget, pensions and the nation's future. But this is mostly a sideshow. The battles in state capitals over public-employee pensions are real - the states are required to balance their budgets - but the larger discussion in Washington is about everything except what's important. The debate between Democrats and Republicans on the budget excludes the largest drivers of the long-term deficit - Social Security, Medicaid and Medicare - to say nothing of the biggest nonentitlement costs, like the tax break for interest on mortgages.

They gonna get they money. It's just a question of where.