Posted 1/28/2012 05:17:00 PM by Douglas

Stats for the I-40 drug busts are out for 2011. Drum roll, please:

Department of Public Safety Trooper Gabriel Medrano on Friday released the total amounts of contraband DPS officials seized in the agency’s Amarillo division in 2011.

Medrano said he was unable to provide totals for 2010.

• U.S. currency: $4,169,638
  
• Marijuana: 7,011 pounds
• Cocaine: 685 pounds
• Methamphetamine: 92 pounds
• Codeine: 55,991 grams
• Heroin: 53,956 grams
• Total estimated drug value: $45,733,060

Wow. Three and a half tons of weed? Does the DPS think that there's anyone in the country that actually wanted it that didn't get it? How the fuck do they get out of bed in the morning?

Also, do they get bonus points for the "estimated drug value" pushing upwards of $50 million? We all know the only way they can capitalize on that value, right? Is anyone going to be surprised to find their confiscated products back on the streets?

"Legalizing" drugs is no more of an endorsement of using these horrible substances than making gambling legal: the state shouldn't care if you do it, but instead of spending billions to prevent it, how 'bout they regulate the shit out of it and MAKE money off of taxing it, instead of spending $20 Billion a year in a futile attempt to stop it.

Labels: I-40 Drug Bust

Posted 1/22/2012 03:39:00 PM by Douglas

"You won't have to rely on a healthy body image or self respect anymore!" This is pretty funny. And true.

Fotoshop by Adobé from Jesse Rosten on Vimeo.

Posted 1/20/2012 06:57:00 PM by Douglas

Timpani!!!!



That sound must mean there's something important that follows. Well, too bad, chumps, because nothing important is following that important sounding drum roll. This post is, however, set to commemorate a very special milestone in the blog's history, and no, it's not watching the After School Special, Story of a Teenage Alcoholic. But I digress.

This is post number 5,000 here at crap blog. I was hoping I could somehow make that correspond to the 10 year anniversary (which is in April) or the 100,000 hit (which will be never), so I could avoid doing this three times. But since I can't, here it is, in all it's grandiose opulence. I would have NEVER thought you people (you know who you are) would have ever given me the microscopic bit of encouragement to continue this shit train 5,000 times over a decade, but here we are.

I'd like to take a moment to thank "long time reader" (you know who you are) for all the links, criticisms, and words of encouragement through the years.

So where is this all going? No where. And fast. Stay tuned.

Labels: pointless milestone

Posted 1/20/2012 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

The problem with a very successful business model is that eventually other people want in on your action and the public gets tired of paying you to see you get richer. Enter Hollywood, who, for about 100 years now has been surprising even themselves at how much money they can extract from the public. Well the internet came along and threw a HUGE kink in their supply chain. Now when you hear a catchy tune on the radio, you don't have to go shell out $17 for one decent song and nine tracks of filler on a crappy CD (the studio should be shot for selling a CD with only 10 tracks on it, too, but that's another rant that luckily we don't have to deal with anymore). You don't have to spend $12 a seat at that over-hyped movie that's out now, just to find out they put the two funny bits in the commercial.

So, equating every downloaded song or movie to a lost sale (which is absolute horse shit), the RIAA and MPAA have strong-armed the Department of Justice to force the hand of the elite New Zealand police to shut down one of the internet's biggest source of shared online content, MegaUpload.I don't quite understand why the Department of Justice has a case when a kid in Singapore uploads an episode of Newhart to a server in Hong Kong and another kid in Denmark downloads it because he doesn't know who Suzanne Pleshette is, but that's hardly the point. They're desperate to stop the downloading, and they'll do anything to get these sites shut down, even temporarily. So what did MegaUpload do, anyway?

In other words, the company is being faulted for not monitoring what each of its users did on its service, not inspecting content as it was being uploaded for copyright violations, and not combing through its servers for infringing material. But that's inconsistent with the rulings from several federal courts, which have held that online companies have no duty to police their services to prevent infringements or detect them after they occur. Instead, it's up to copyright owners to alert them to infringing files, at least until a company has been found liable and ordered to stop the piracy.

Wow, they didn't monitor ALL their user's content. I'm sure that's a first. Is there a reason this raid came on the day after the SOPA/PIPA blackout day? Seems like they know this law is going to fail, and this is their one chance to make a stand. Well kudos to you, Hollywood lobbyists. You've stopped media being downloaded from the internet just like the DEA has stopped the influx of illegal drugs into the country. Which is to say, not at all. You just make yourself look more desperate when you coerce another sovereign nation into using Pablo Escobar techniques to apprehend him:

Dotcom, the megamind behind Megaupload, was arrested yesterday in New Zealand, his panic-room door busted down by officials, who found the hacker clinging to a sawed-off shotgun.

Wow. I had no idea the police had guns in New Zealand, much less eccentric overweight millionaires. Who knew?

Look, I don't know what the answer is, but artists need to be paid for their work. I have a couple of DVDs and CDs that I've paid over $100 for. I've also got some 99¢ disks that don't even make good coasters (damn hole in the middle). I don't know how to make the 'honor system' work for media consumption now that the internet has made downloading so easy, but Hollywood has to stop thinking they're back in the day when they can keep churning out crap and we'll keep buying it because we have no choice. Because now we do.

Posted 1/19/2012 05:17:00 PM by Douglas

Presidential politics always makes for strange bedfellows, but you never know how strange 'till you get closer to the elections. Yeah, I know that Newt's second ex-wife made a "big" announcement today that he wanted, what they call nowadays, an "open" marriage. He wanted to be a swinger. . . . as in, to swing! Maybe I've seen Raising Arizona one too many times. Who am I kidding, I've seen it 100 too many times, but that's not important right now, neither is Newt's swinging. No, what's remarkable about that lede is that the new one, mistress #2 was presumably willing to go along with it. After all, he converted from Baptist to Catholic when he married her. As Redd Foxx said, "Now you know that's some mean pussy to make a man change gods." But again, I digress.

The interesting part about how much Newt loves the country is wife #1. It was his high school geometry teacher. That's just weird.

In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher, when he was 19 years old and she was 26.

I'm sure he denies it, but the rumor mill is full of those that say the romance began while he was still a student. Even if that never happened, marrying your math teacher that's seven years older than you when you're 19 is a little too Mary Kay Letourneau to be considered presidential.

But the real January surprise came from the Santorum camp. After a little googling, and some hand sanitizer, you can find some interesting nuggets of fun on his wife, the one and only Mrs. Rick Santorum. Turns out, Mr. "I'm so pro-life I'll kill you's" wife had a relationship with a ob/gyn 40 some odd her senior. That's not too weird, in the general scheme of things, and I'm reticent to label him an "abortionist," in that as an ob/gyn, the procedure is medical and not always political. So you should give him the benefit of the doubt on that one. No, the weird part is that as an ob/gyn, he delivered her.

The wife of fiercely pro-life presidential hopeful Rick Santorum had a six-year love affair with an abortion doctor, 40 years her senior - who, incredibly, delivered her as a baby - it has emerged.

That's just wacky. How does that even come up? That's gotta be one awkward question to break the ice with.

Posted 1/15/2012 04:31:00 PM by Douglas

I don't quite understand marathons, but there were two of them in Houston this weekend, one was the annual Houston Marathon, and the other was the trials for the 2012 U.S. Olympic team. The winner of the Olympic marathon had a time of 2:09:08, while the guy that won the non-Olympic marathon the next day had a time of 2:06:51. So why isn't THAT guy on the Olympic team?

Labels: Marathons

Posted 1/15/2012 04:22:00 PM by Douglas

Hollywood could not have devised a more scary way to die than becoming a fungus zombie.

The fungus attacks the ants on two fronts. Firstly by using the ant as a walking food source, and secondly by damaging muscle and the ant’s central nervous system, resulting in zombie walking and the death bite, which place the ant in the cool damp understory. Together these provide the perfect environment for fungal growth and reproduction. This behavior of infected ants is essentially an extended phenotype of the fungus (fungal behaviour through the ant’s body) as non-infected ants never behave in this way.

Has anyone seen a Kardashian eating a salad at solar noon?

Posted 1/15/2012 04:16:00 PM by Douglas

A cruise has always sounded like staying at a bad hotel you can't leave. But at least it won't sink.

A senior crew member on the luxury Italian cruise liner that capsized in the Mediterranean was dramatically airlifted to safety today as it emerged divers have discovered two more bodies.

Cabin service director Manrico Giampedroni, 57, was discovered in one of the Costa Concordia's restaurants which was semi-submerged with water. Italian news reports say he stayed behind to help passengers into the lifeboats but as the vessel listed he fell and broke his leg.

He said of the two day long ordeal: 'I never lost hope of being saved. It was a 36-hour nightmare'.

This afternoon the Italian coastguard said the bodies of two elderly men were found in a submerged restaurant, taking the death toll to five. Two French passengers and a Peruvian crew member were confirmed dead yesterday.

Late last night two 29-year-old newlyweds were plucked alive from the wreckage. The couple from South Korea had been on their honeymoon when they became stranded two decks below rescuers who eventually heard their screams.

More than 4,000 people were evacuated when the ship ran aground off the coast of Tuscany on Friday night. Eleven passengers and six crew are still missing.

Hope they enjoyed the buffet!

Posted 1/14/2012 05:04:00 PM by Douglas

For the longest time, I thought that rotten corn was the most disgusting thing you could eat. Boy, was I wrong:

Derived from Pecorino, casu marzu goes beyond typical fermentation to a stage most would consider decomposition, brought about by the digestive action of the larvae of the cheese fly Piophila casei. These larvae are deliberately introduced to the cheese, promoting an advanced level of fermentation and breaking down of the cheese's fats. The texture of the cheese becomes very soft, with some liquid (called lagrima, from Latin for "tears") seeping out. The larvae themselves appear as translucent white worms, about 8 millimetres (0.3 in) long.[1] When disturbed, the larvae can launch themselves for distances up to 15 centimetres (6 in). Some people clear the larvae from the cheese before consuming while others do not.

And "other's" are stupid. These aren't the only tears falling on this disgusting dish, either.

Posted 1/13/2012 05:30:00 PM by Douglas

Incredible Rube Goldberg page turner:

Posted 1/13/2012 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

The cease fire in the Cola-Wars is long over, yet the good guys lost an important skirmish today in the tiny town of Dublin, Texas. Long before the anti-hfcs movement took hold, one lone Dr. Pepper bottler stilled used pure cane sure in their Dr. Pepper, and they carved out quite niche market in their town of less than 3,000 people. But apparently their internet sales got them too much attention. So much so, it got the attention of their parent company, who took a lamentable, if not predictable plan of action: They sued to shut down the oldest Dr. Pepper bottler in the world.

Dr Pepper Snapple Group, which owns Dr Pepper, sued the plant in June, saying Dublin Dr Pepper was diluting the Dr Pepper brand and hijacking sales from other Dr Pepper bottlers, according to The Wall Street Journal.

Diluting the brand? Consider this: The Dublin bottler had sales of $7 million a year. Dr Pepper Snapple Group had sales of $5.6 billion in 2010. And, the Journal reported, Dublin Dr Pepper makes up less than 1% of Dr Pepper's annual U.S. volume.

Yeah, that sounds about right. Unleash a public relations nightmare because a historic family owned business is cutting in to 0.01% of your annual sales.

They say they'll keep making cane sugar Dr Pepper elsewhere, which is good, I guess, since it tastes so much better. But I'm sure I share the sentiment of the unemployed Dublin residents who don't understand why they couldn't continue doing what they've done for the past 120 years. Hopefully there'll be enough public backlash from this that they'll open up the Dublin plant again. Dr Pepper/Snapple would pay damages if they had any balls.

Posted 1/05/2012 09:22:00 PM by Douglas

54 people injured in a 79 car pileup as people in South East Texas drove into smoke and fog earlier this morning. Here's the interesting part:

What was reported as a wreck at 5:36 a.m. actually involved more than 50 vehicles in a series of accidents along the eastbound lanes of the highway west of the Taylors Bayou bridge in the area of the Veolia Processing Plant, Department of Public Safety troopers said.

Troopers Candace Evans and David Crawford said prior to the collisions, the eastbound traffic appeared to be moving at about 70 mph despite heavy fog and limited visibility. Drivers going in the other direction apparently were moving more slowly and cautiously, they added.

Acadian Ambulance reported taking 37 people from accident scene, while several other patients were transported by Air Rescue and Hermann Life Flight. Other medical transport vehicles came from Southeast Texas, Winnie-Stowell and Anahuac EMS organizations, Acadian personnel said.

So, people drive into zero visibility conditions, some slow down and others don't, resulting in mass hysteria. Yet a helicopter pilot, undoubtedly observing proper IFR procedures was able to land and get them out and to the hospital without running into anyone. How's that for having the proper training when you need it?

It's very difficult to drive IFR. Maybe there needs to be an app for your phone that can squawk the tower.

Posted 1/01/2012 01:25:00 PM by Douglas

Funny Facebook posts. I like the one about Rebecca Black's song being about the Kennedy assassination. Turns out, the guy driving JFK's limo was named Greer, not Kickin. Turns out, some people think he was the trigger man. Which would make him the guy with the biggest balls in the world.

Posted 1/01/2012 01:19:00 PM by Douglas

The ever effective "war on drugs" has got a new metric to gauge its success. Nevermind the fact that every human being in this country is no more than three phone calls from having any illegal drug delivered right to them, the DEA in all its wisdom has found a new indicator of success: Dead children.

U.S. and Mexican officials say the grotesque violence is a symptom the cartels have been wounded by police and soldiers. “It may seem contradictory, but the unfortunate level of violence is a sign of success in the fight against drugs,” said Michele Leonhart, head of the Drug Enforcement Administration. The cartels “are like caged animals, attacking one another,” she added.

Makes sense. Dead people is a good indication that we're winning the "War on Terror," too, and it's being brought to you by the same people.

Posted 1/01/2012 01:06:00 PM by Douglas

For this year's "celebratory gunfire" story, we had to go all the way out to Los Angeles.

A man inside his home in South Los Angeles was injured by celebratory gunfire that came through his roof on New Year's Eve.

Authorities said around midnight, the victim was sitting in a back room in his house in the 600 block of East 113th Street when he was hit in the leg from a falling bullet. The bullet entered through the roof and grazed the man's leg.

No shooter has been found, and no suspect information was available.

Tragic, yet stupid. I bet it livened up Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve. Wait, it was already 3a.m. on the east coast. By that time, Dick was already back in his cryogenic chamber.