Posted 2/17/2014 10:54:00 PM by Douglas

Guess what? Diamonds are still bullshit. Ya heard it here first.

Posted 4/02/2013 10:38:00 PM by Douglas

What's really funny about these old commercials from 20 years ago: I remember when they came on and thinking to myself "Tom Selleck is out of his mind."

Posted 3/27/2013 11:26:00 PM by Douglas

What we're good at now:

1. Locking people up
2. Believing in angels
3. Making bombs

Can't really aruge with that:

Posted 3/18/2013 11:34:00 PM by Douglas

For some reason, I’m in a Star Wars kind of mood today. I saw this several years ago and thought it was pretty funny, but the “inside job” thing really needed some more development. Well here it is:

Posted 12/23/2012 10:37:00 AM by Douglas

What a strange piece on the political and cultural discourse in this country:

Unfortunately for our country, the Bloomberg versus LaPierre contrast is basically all of American politics today. Our society is divided between an ascendant center-left that’s far too confident in its own rigor and righteousness and a conservatism that’s marched into an ideological cul-de-sac and is currently battering its head against the wall.

Even funnier coming from The New York Times.

Posted 11/11/2012 07:48:00 PM by Douglas

What a great video! I hope they show this at the recruiting stops around Johnson Space Center. NASA has done a LOT to get engineers working in the oil and gas industry. Like laying off thousands of them:

Posted 9/18/2012 08:34:00 PM by Douglas

This is what America was up to 150 years ago: The bloodiest day in American History. And here are some stirring pictures from the day. I liked this quote about Brady's photography:

“Mr. Brady has done something to bring home to us the terrible reality and earnestness of war,” a reporter for[sic] the New York Times wrote after a visit to Brady’s studio. “If he has not brought bodies and laid them in our door-yards and along streets, he has done something very like it.”

Posted 9/13/2012 05:36:00 PM by Douglas

It’s good to see the last space shuttle getting some air-time before it gets mothballed out in L.A., but this is a bit ridiculous.

After taking off from the former shuttle landing strip Monday morning, Endeavour and its carrier jet will fly low over Kennedy and the beaches of Cape Canaveral, then head west toward NASA points along the Gulf of Mexico. The pair will swoop over Stennis Space Center in Mississippi and Michoud Assembly Facility in New Orleans, where the shuttle booster rockets were made.

Next stop: Ellington Field near NASA's Johnson Space Center in Houston.

Endeavour will remain at Ellington until Wednesday morning so space center employees can see the shuttle up close. Houston had bid for a shuttle; the loss still nags many there. NASA chose New York City as the winner for the shuttle prototype Enterprise, which was relinquished by the Smithsonian to make room for Discovery.

After leaving Houston on Wednesday, Endeavour will stop for fuel at Biggs Army Airfield in El Paso, Texas, and then perform a low flyover of the White Sands Test Facility in New Mexico, which served for decades as an emergency shuttle landing site. Then it will head to NASA's Dryden Flight Research Center at Edwards Air Force Base in California, another old shuttle touchdown venue.

On Thursday, Endeavour will fly to Northern California, home to Ames Research Center in Mountain View. NASA plans low-level flights over San Francisco, Sacramento and other major cities before heading to Los Angeles and a late-morning arrival at Los Angeles International Airport.

NASA was mum Thursday regarding the exact times of all these flyovers for security reasons. Officials warned that the weather needed to cooperate to allow for such a full and busy schedule.

Did you catch that? After that rather lengthy description of the shuttle’s whereabouts, all for the express purpose of public visibility, NASA claims it can’t tell the exact times, because of security. Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose? As well as coming pretty close to becoming a scene in Airplane!

Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.

It’s just that silly. They approve:

Labels: Airplane

Posted 9/13/2012 05:08:00 PM by Douglas

Some headlines are supposed to sound like good news, but you just know that they aren’t. “Rectal probes get 0.2mm smaller!” or “IRS sending out lavender scented audits this fall” all sound like good ideas that just aren’t. Enter the Fed and their shenanigans from today:

Fed unveils bold, open-ended steps to aid economy

FINALLY! After TARP, and the Stimulus, and the Detroit bailout, you would think that the printing presses at the Fed have printed just about all the phony fiat currency that the system can support. Well you’d be wrong:

As part of its bold and open-ended plan, the Fed said it would spend $40 billion a month to buy mortgage bonds to make home buying more affordable. That will be the third round of bond-buying in an effort to spur the economy, and the Fed left open the possibility of taking other steps to encourage borrowing and financial risk-taking.

This has relatively nothing to do with making homes more affordable, but have you ever noticed that when the government tries to make something “affordable” (college tuition, healthcare, homes), that’s when the price goes through the freakin’ roof. Why is that? Anyway. . .

Some economists suggested that the Fed might continue to buy $40 billion a month in mortgage bonds for up to three years. That’s how long some expect it will take for the unemployment rate to dip below 7 percent, toward a ‘‘normal’’ rate of 6 percent or less.

If the new bond buying lasts three years, Ashworth said it would add about $1.4 trillion to the Fed’s purchases. That would be close to the $1.7 trillion the Fed spent in its first round of bond buying, which began in November 2008 and ran until March 2010.

The Fed’s second bond-buying program totaled $600 billion. It ran from November 2010 through June 2011.

OK, Fed, last chance. I know you think there is a magical amount of gasoline you can pour on that fire to put it out. Every time you think that you’ve got the right amount, but every time you’re wrong, and you need more Keynesian gasoline to put out the fire. Maybe this time will do it. Thankfully, no one in America is paying attention. Otherwise, there’d be blood in the streets.

Posted 8/28/2012 02:06:00 PM by Douglas

The reason the obituaries in The London Telegraph changed the way obituaries were written: this guy:

But above all the credit for coming up with a page upon which so many people wish to appear, even if they know they will never see the result themselves, must lie with former Telegraph staffer Hugh Massingberd. He entirely recast the paper’s obituaries in 1986, championing the illuminating anecdote over the dusty details of the curriculum vitae. His insatiable thirst for the Wodehousian character sketch, underpinned by what his own obituary (he died in 2007) described as an “encyclopedic knowledge”, has been the model for each of his successors.

His obit here.

Labels: Telegraph Obits

Posted 7/27/2012 05:37:00 PM by Douglas

It’s lovely to see when the compassionate side of the political spectrum takes the high road, isn’t it?

"We're taking bets (place yours in the comments section below) on how long it will take Sen. Grassley to succumb to heart disease, diabetes, cancer, or some other meat-related disease," the post said.

New flash, grass munchers: this isn’t a zero-sum game. Just because you chose not to eat meat and live longer, pointless lives, does NOT mean that meat eaters are doing so because they want to die early. they want to die early because they’re just so tired of listening to you whine. OK, my burger is killing the planet, I know. . .can I just eat it and peace and not listen to your mono-tone drivel for a few minutes? But it gets better:

"One simple way to reduce your environmental impact while dining at our cafeterias is to participate in the "Meatless Monday" initiative," the USDA newsletter said. "This international effort, as the name implies, encourages people not to eat meat on Mondays.

"How will going meatless one day of the week help the environment? The production of meat, especially beef (and dairy as well), has a large environmental impact. According to the U.N., animal agriculture is a major source of greenhouse gases and climate change. It also wastes resources."

Here’s another New flash: The absolute best way to “reduce your environmental impact?” They only way that’s really effective, actually: KILL YOURSELF. Your very existence on this planet, even if you sustain yourself in a 4X10 foot veal pen and eat nothing but soy slurry and bathe in your own urine, guess what? By your definition, THE PLANET IS BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU. So why wait?

Posted 6/24/2012 05:20:00 PM by Douglas

This video is GENIUS! What a perfect solution to the problems of the planet: Launching French people towards the sun. If only we’d had this technology 300 years ago:

Posted 6/21/2012 05:30:00 PM by Douglas

It's not that I don't think this is a good idea, I'll admit, it's a pretty clever toothbrush. I have no idea what the "Red dot design" awards are, but something tells me they're setting the bar incredibly low if a toothbrush with a spigot is winning:

Posted 5/21/2012 05:47:00 PM by Douglas

Awesome time-lapse video of the eclipse this weekend. Too bad they didn't know the eclipse was coming with enough time for them to clean their lens. I always wanted to know what pac-man looked like through a microscope from my 10th grade biology lab.

Posted 5/21/2012 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

I'm always amazed at what gets printed in the Amarillo Globe-News. You wouldn't expect to find such a fire and brimstone ranting to make it into a major newspaper. Who am I kidding, the AGN isn't a major newspaper. Exhibit A:

Biblical prophecies reveal the Antichrist is going be a Muslim from the Middle East, Christ will ride on the clouds into Egypt, Turkey will invade Israel and the United States will be victorious in the fight against the Antichrist, \Batshit Crazy/ told a crowd of about 120 Friday.

The self-described former terrorist and Islam-to-Christianity convert spoke in Lubbock at a special insight rally

[Note: The name \Batshit Crazy/ was used to curb this moronathon's google traffic.]

Ok, fine, some kook reads the Bible after napping by an improperly vented gas heater. . . this is nothing new. The rivers will run red with the blood of those that don't properly sort their laundry, or whatever minutia you're splitting from the unquestioned word of God (that was written and edited by men, oh by the way). So what can we expect this time around? Hit me with some crazy:

She invited \Batshit Crazy/, she said, “because \Batshit Crazy/ teaches (and) confirms with the Scriptures that God is going to judge the Middle East, and America is going to be saved. Our oil is going to gush. Our gas is going to gush. He is going to remove people who have the control, and we’ll be the largest oil and gas producers in the world — based on what the Bible says.”

Hear that folks? Might want to buy your Halliburton stock now and avoid the rush.

Posted 5/10/2012 06:34:00 PM by Douglas

So President Obama has come out publicly with a tacit approval of gay marriage. Ok, this shouldn't really surprise anyone, but what's remarkable isn't that he did it, but rather how he did it. Is it not clear to anyone paying attention that this is an election year ploy for media attention? Personally, I can't wait for flag burning to rear its ugly head in the public discourse, but it's only May, and a long time 'till November. So let's look at what he actually said:

President Barack Obama, who said in the past that his views on gay marriage were 'evolving,' said today he thinks same-sex couples should be able to get married. But he also said that gay marriage is an issue for states to decide. Currently, there isn't any federal action in the works to make gay marriage legal. NBC's Chuck Todd reports.

Well that's just great, isn't it? Can't you already hear the MSNBC/FoxNews drums starting to beat? "FINALLY, equality for all," vs. "He's destroying OUR values." Well, no.

I'm sure I'm not the ONLY one in America that thinks it's HILARIOUS that he thinks this is a "State's Rights" issue. Really? Same-sex couples should be allowed to get married, yet only if the state they live in agrees with it? Wow, what a declaration. Compare that to the FEDERAL mandate of the FEDERAL drug war, busting down doors all over the country because someone's neighbor thought they were smoking weed. Or even worse, Obamacare, which he declared was a "right of every American citizen," as he spent every ounce of political capital of his first term to pass. Does he think gay people are this stupid, too, to not see through this political rhetoric? THIS DOESN'T HELP THEM. It's cool and all that Barry can go hang out and raise money with Clooney and other Hollywood liberals that already agree with him, but this does absolutely nothing to the comitted gay couple that seeks a legal union.

The beauty in this statement is that he knows it has about as much momentum as a Denny's waitress telling you she likes pie. So the smart move, on his part at least, is to let the FoxNews/Republican (do we need to differentiate them anymore?) spin machine collapse on itself on this one. Because when it does, it's going to come out that Mitt's grandfather was a polygamist. Hard to defend the sanctity of marriage when you have nine grandmothers, and really, isn't this all about taking down Mitt?

But the point, if I have one, is that marriage may, in fact, be a timeless unification of a man and a woman in the eyes of God. But the State of South Carolina doesn't give a shit about that, and over 50% of American marriages end in divorce, so there's something a LOT less Holy about all this straight marriage talk in that light. If you stand up before your friends, family and God and swear to be with this person "'till death do us part," and you file divorce papers because she deleted all your shows from the DVR, it really takes a LOT less possibility of Steve and Larry's marriage ruining the country, doesn't it? I say let them get married (AND divorced) and see how Larry feels about losing half HIS shit and paying alimony to Steve. What's good for the goose is good for the. . uh, goose?

But the other aspect of this debate is that gay marriage is going to somehow "open the floodgates" to people being allowed to marry animals or buildings. To that I say SO WHAT? Other than the wedding night between the dude and the goat, does anyone feel sorry for the goat? Looking at the legal aspect of marriage again, it's largely a way to account for (and disburse) property. So what about all the crazy people that have left their wealth to their cats? Were they "married" to the cats? Legally, they might as well have been, but honestly, do you really care if some crazy chick marries a cat?

I know I don't, and if you do, you should proably find anything that is a better use of your time. Might I suggest lawn darts?

Also, this random, disjoined post is a reminder to me why I don't blog anymore.

Posted 4/27/2012 05:49:00 PM by Douglas

Do we need more than the headline on this one:

Strippers say accused pimp 'Jell-O' is innocent

Oh, Jell-O, didn't you learn anything from Santa Clause? Even he stopped after 3 HOs. . .

Posted 4/25/2012 05:51:00 PM by Douglas

P.J. O'Rourke just keeps getting better and better the older and drunker he gets. Enter this round of making fun of the adult man-child that sill wears shorts.

When I board an airplane these days, all the middle-aged men are dressed like me—when I was an 8-year-old. They’re in shorts and T-shirts. And it’s not just on airplanes. It’s in business offices, teachers’ lounges, and churches.

Yeah, there's really no reason for a grown man to dress like Dennis the Menace. His last line nails it:

And (we’re not getting younger) you can’t go to the grave wearing shorts and a T-shirt, either. The one place where a dress code reliably obtains is among morticians. You will be wearing a suit when you’re dead.

If your family and friends have never seen you in a suit before, there’s a chance that you’ll be mistaken for the funeral director. You really don’t want people leaning over your casket, asking, “How much is this costing us?”

Time to put on some big-boy pants!

Labels: P.J. O'Rourke

Posted 4/21/2012 02:45:00 PM by Douglas

Why is it that when the federal government steps in to make something more affordable, the price ends up going through the roof? This guy takes a shot at housing and college education, but I think you could throw health care in there, too. So why not use it to drive up the price of illegal drugs?

That got me thinking, what would the government do if it wanted to price most consumers out of the market? What would it take for government to make cocaine prohibitively expensive for most people?

It's not as silly as it sounds to anyone paying attention to the drug war, and I'm sure the usual chorus of anti-drug people would flip out, but what's really funny is that most people that currently use illegal drugs would hate for their drugs to become legal. It would make it immensely more difficult to get.

Posted 4/10/2012 05:12:00 PM by Douglas

My dog has no nose!

How does it smell?

TERRIBLE!