Posted 8/30/2002 11:14:00 PM by Douglas

Sorry about the Pulp Fiction quote below.

Just got done with the DVD. I really got burned out on the movie. I must have seen it about 10 times at the theater when I was in college [typical Austin food drive: see a movie for a can of corn. I cleaned out my pantry that week], and then countless times on video.
But watching it again on DVD, letterbox. Man, that's such a good movie. It's sort of a shame that Tarantino sort of slid into obscurity after '94. But it also gives him some fuel, too.

Posted 8/30/2002 11:06:00 PM by Douglas

There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.
And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you heard it, that meant your ass. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was just a cold-blooded shit to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. See, now I'm thinkin': maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9 millimeter here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness.
Or it could mean, you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd, and it's the world that's evil and selfish.
I'd like that.
But that shit ain't the truth

The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.

Posted 8/30/2002 11:04:00 PM by Douglas

Some of the co-workers and I have come up with some better ideas than Lance Bass singing in space.

I think he and the rest of the incubus ridden boy bands should volunteer for the manned solar exploration mission.

And I use the term manned loosely.

Posted 8/29/2002 03:42:00 PM by Douglas

I can't remember where I saw it, but someone somewhere said that the traffic on their site increased exponentially when they added the words Brittney and Spears to their site.
Here's a professor with a gift for marketing semiconductor education.
I don't know anything about semiconductors, but the presentation on this site is pretty durn good.

I wonder what the site traffic looks like.

Posted 8/28/2002 09:16:00 PM by Douglas

I think we all can agree that this is a little silly, but when you go to Baylor, what do you expect?

I'm surprised that the chick that already graduated from there doesn't lose her degree or something.

Posted 8/28/2002 01:58:00 PM by Douglas

Airport Security, at its best.

Posted 8/28/2002 12:32:00 PM by Douglas

I'm not sure I want to consume an amber liquid if it was bottled by someone that just pissed themselves.

If there is any place that needs generous bathroom breaks, it's at a distillery.

Posted 8/27/2002 10:10:00 PM by Douglas

Man, what an organized waste of time and $6.5 Million. Anyone that was tied up in this mess should take a look at Atlanta pre and post 1996. Yeah, folks, it means realwork. Not just pulling up "Pressure Washing" signs at intersections.

Public transportation is just a part of it, folks. And that doesn't just mean a train from where no one gets on to where no one gets off.

Let's have a quote from the Mayor:

"Houston's a world-class city, an international city, and they know we love sports."

Yeah, we love bacon, too, but that's not bringing money into the coffers, is it?

Oh wait, it is.

Sorry

Posted 8/27/2002 01:49:00 PM by Douglas

I have no idea what comprises the tenets of the faith of Jedi, but they can use my house if it means I get tax-exempt status.

Posted 8/27/2002 10:25:00 AM by Douglas

What every happened to Heather Has Two Mommies?? Well, I for one am glad to see more of this sort of thing going on in small communities. Especially right before a $10 Million bond issue.

This is what doesn't make any sense: this book made the School Library Journal's "Book of the Year" in its category in 1994, while also being number 13 on the American Library Association's list of "most challenged" books in the country since 1990. How does it end up on both lists at the same time?

I also have a problem with the ALA's assessment of what a "banned" book is. They say "A banning is the "removal of those materials"

If Stalin, Hitler, or G.W. Bush is using State power to keep subversive literature (whatever that means) out of the hands of it's citizenry, THAT'S banning a book. A community removing any text from a community library because the community finds it offensive, that's not banning.

That's not even censorship.

Anyone with $8.79 can buy that book and read it all the live-long day to their kids and anyone within earshot. It's not banned because the community doesn't want to use their tax dollars to buy it. And don't give me any of that crap about "poor people can't afford books, so you're just banning it among the poor."

I can't afford a Ferrari. Does that mean the State has banned them by not providing me with one simply because it's outside my financial means?

Posted 8/26/2002 10:20:00 AM by Douglas

If you're keeping score at home, please remember that finger nail files, tweezers, and pocket knives are bad, but .357s seem to be OK.

Priorities, people.

Posted 8/26/2002 09:20:00 AM by Douglas

Are you as sick as I am of hearing the chest-thumping about the looming War against Iraq? What new war? We never left!

Posted 8/23/2002 10:51:00 AM by Douglas

A great piece on immigrant gang-rape, assimilation of immigrant populations, and equivalency of culture.

I don't know if you can say this in America and not be considered racist, but this came from Europe.

Good heavens, you can't expect a Muslim in Norway not to go about raping the womenfolk! Much better just to get used to it.

And

I believe Western culture -- rule of law, universal suffrage, etc. -- is preferable to Arab culture: that's why there are millions of Muslims in Scandinavia, and four Scandinavians in Syria. Follow the traffic. I support immigration, but with assimilation. Without it, like a Hindu widow, we're slowly climbing on the funeral pyre of our lost empires.

And don't miss this one:

Islam For All reported the other day that, at present demographic rates, in 20 years' time the majority of Holland's children (the population under 18) will be Muslim. It will be the first Islamic country in western Europe since the loss of Spain. Europe is the colony now.

To borrow a phrase from The Simpson's, "a chilling vision of things to come."

Posted 8/22/2002 08:20:00 AM by Douglas

I hate articles that are written like this. They seem like they belong in Rolling Stone or YM, but this sort of writing style just annoys me. Maybe it's the first person. I just don't know, but I read this one to see what kind of turd was going to fall out of Coulter's mouth. I can't find the link, but her suggestion to "bomb all the Arabs and convert the survivors to Christianity" is worth noting. Especially with her new found popularity.

She didn't disappoint with this one:

Then she said: "My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to The New York Times Building."

Well isn't that special. Killing 160 people isn't bad, as long it's the right people. Or should I say Left people.

But just to show that she's not taking her hubris seriously, she puts it all into perspective:

"The American people don’t think so. I speak for them."

I don't think so, Ann.

Posted 8/22/2002 07:35:00 AM by Douglas

An interesting take on emerging American Imperialism from Right Wing News:

Rarely a day passes on the internet without another article being written that claims America is a "hegemon", that we're like "like Rome," or that we want to "create an empire." Take it from a Conservative, ultra-nationalistic, America-first hawk; Americans on the whole would rather drive bamboo shoots under their fingernails than "rule the world."

If you want put it in perspective, it's like we're the guy who ended up being the designated driver for the planet. Sure we'd love to sit back and drink ourselves into a stupor with the rest of the globe but we're responsible for getting as many people home safe and sound as possible. Every so often while we're sitting around wishing we could kill a few beers like the rest of the planet, a sloppy drunk, drooling, Europe comes over to where we're sitting. Then they take another swig of Vodka straight out of the bottle and tell us not to worry about a thing because they'll drive everyone home in their 'international law' van. But we know if we go ahead and drink up that we'll just get a call at 4 am asking us to bring our tow truck and the 'jaws of life' to clean up the bloody mess on dead man's curve. That's the burden of being an American.

I love the "designated driver" analogy, and he's probably right when it comes to the Average American "Conservative" out in the fly-over states agreeing with him.
But where he's totally off the mark is with the Neo-Con punditry and the real Axis of Evil (Wolfowitz, Perle, and Woolsey).

The aspirations of empire from them, along with the National Review and Fox News flavor of conservatives isn't even being obfuscated anymore.

Posted 8/21/2002 02:20:00 PM by Douglas

No one ever said Hollywood types were smart, did we?

Millions of Internet Thieves?
Calling for the help of government and electronics manufacturers to block the ability of Internet users to download movies, News Corp President Peter Chernin claimed Tuesday that on the weekend that Star Wars: Episode II -- Attack of the Clones opened, four million copies of that movie and Spider-Man were downloaded on the Internet. "Four million products were stolen in a weekend," Chernin told the Progress & Freedom Foundation conference in Aspen, CO. "It took four years to make that film, about four clicks of a mouse to steal it, and that crime was perpetrated 4 million times." Chernin went on to say that a leading theater chain has agreed to run a warning about such practices, saying that it not only hurts "fat-cat Hollywood people" but also workers ranging from makeup artists to custodians. He did not name the theater chain that will run the announcements.

Someone please tell me how to do this If I thought I could download an entire movie and have it DVD quality, I'd do it in a second. I've heard about Napster-like sites where you trade copies of movies, but don't know anyone that's done it.

Also, would someone please shut the whining cry-babies up? They are so scared that the internet is going to pop their precious bubble that they've lost all ability to reason.

Back in the early 20s when the phonograph was first taking off, the early musicians were very reluctant to record their music. Some of the Jazz guys didn't want other people hearing them and stealing their style, but most knew that they'd lose the ability to control their music once it "belongs" to someone else. They were also worried about some money grubbing producer stealing all their fucking money. Hey, there were right about that part!

They kill Napster, 10 more sprout up in its place. When are these idiots going to learn that complaining about the internet isn't going to make these problems go away?

Also, look at the music that they're producing: Gangster wannabe that need to pull their pants up or teenybopper bands and singers that are as shiny and flat as a juicy fruit wrapper.

They keep saying that their lack of profitability is all our fault, and I'm just not buying it. I hope they remember these as "the dark days" when they finally figure out how to use the Internet to milk the artists for all they're worth, like they've been doing up 'till now.

Posted 8/21/2002 01:07:00 PM by Douglas

I used to work right around the corner from this site in Webster.

I'm not at all a fan of government involvement in regulating business, because for the most part it does a piss poor job of it, but stories like this, when companies deliberately misled the public about what sort of hazardous materials they were dealing with, well, that just makes no sense when they get away with it.

Americium-241? What the heck? If it's so toxic that it can't even be disposed of, what the hell were they doing with it???

Posted 8/21/2002 10:26:00 AM by Douglas

Sweeping the parking lot at K-mart. Now that phrase has a totally new meaning in Houston:

Posted 8/21/2002 07:29:00 AM by Douglas

Damn, I love reading Lileks. And watching The Simpson's. Much to the annoyance of co-workers and family, I'm doing my best to prove this:

As some wise fellow once pointed out, there is a Simpson's line for every situation in life, and it is possible to go through your day reacting to everything that happens with Simpson's scenarios.

I guess that's why I ordered the Second Season yesterday. I'm hooked.

Posted 8/20/2002 01:35:00 PM by Douglas

Another fine piece from Joe Bob, this one on the internet.

What's ironic is that one guy, with a modicum of computer talent and a lot of time on his hands, can now create Internet content that actually competes heads up with The New York Times. That's what the old media barons really don't like about the Web. It's too damn democratic. Their dollars can win occasional battles, but it's like plugging holes in the world's leakiest dike.

Posted 8/20/2002 12:35:00 PM by Douglas

Although it seems like it, cops are dumb isn't going to be the new theme here. But what in the hell were they thinking?

279 kids thrown in the pokey. Some were trespassing, or loitering, but some weren't. You know it's bad when the police make statements like this one:

"I couldn't believe we were being told to arrest all those kids. It was just utterly, utterly senseless."
"I guess we're just lucky he didn't order us to fire warning shots into the crowd or anything."

So there was obviously some bad blood with the supervisor, but this is ridiclious. Getting in an arguement with your boss is no reason to throw 300 kids in jail.

And they wonder where the public gets their poor perception of the police?

Here's the link to the editorial in the Chronicle. They're glad the cops didn't show up shooting.

Posted 8/20/2002 09:06:00 AM by Douglas

What in the heck is going on in Tulia? They've got the entire black community pissed off, alleging racists drug busts, [not to mention idiot Navalreservists hot-dogging for their in-laws. {more} and {still more} ] but now the TABC?

I'm sure the TABC serves a purpose, but all anyone sees them do is give MIPs to kids for drinking beer. Another fine example of a taxing agency posing as a policing agency.

Posted 8/19/2002 10:32:00 PM by Douglas

”The Anna Nicole Show, then, is Smith's comeback vehicle, an attempt to remind us that long before we came to think of her as a venal, shallow gold-digger, we thought of her as a venal, shallow bimbo. She succeeds wildly.”

Wow, who could argue with that? Or this:

I actually caught 15 minutes of this cultural train wreck this weekend before I had to avert my eyes. I got to see the description of the dog humping the stuffed bear:

Even Smith's toy poodle, Sweetie Pie, is a twisted little beast, who, when not ingesting Prozac, tears the panties off a stuffed teddy bear then humps away. ("One time Sugar Pie saw me f--- this guy," Smith tells us, "and the next day she just started doing it, and she's pretty good at it.")

Ok folks, if your freakin’ DOG is learning how to hump from your behavior, maybe it’s time for some square dancing or a bridge club.

I don’t want to swamp this with quotes, because the story is too funny to miss, but this is classic:

If there is one constant in the show, however, it is Smith's breasts. She bares at least one-half to three-quarters of them in every shot. When she participates in strenuous activities — such as climbing into other people's bathtubs to make sure that she can fit — they lash out like two wombats being suffocated under a baby blanket. To some, this might sound sexy on paper. It's not. By now, Smith's breasts appear to contain so many foreign objects that they literally have lumps — not of the tumorous variety but the type you see in curdled milk.

Damn, that’s funny. Funny that he could tie in the milk metaphor too, eh?

Anna Nicole Smith is nothing more than the sum of her self-destructive appetites packaged in silicone saddlebags.

Good that we could tie in silicone, too.

The culminating moment:

Later she told us she would rather die gracefully than be embarrassed at any cost." If that is truly the case, look for Anna Nicole to be cashing out at any moment.

We can only hope.

Posted 8/19/2002 07:39:00 AM by Douglas

No Justice, No Peace.

Here are some "reparations" I'd like to see. . . .

Posted 8/18/2002 11:50:00 AM by Douglas

People just in it for the money, part II. When a group of people want the government to give them a pile of money, why don't they just say so.
What really surprised me about this story is how fast it disappeared. No mention of it at all on CNN, and it only happened yesterday.

I think we can all agree that slavery was a horrible thing, but taking money from people that never owned slaves and giving it to people that never were slaves sort of seems silly, doesn't it? And it really doesn't further your cause when you sell T-shirts that read "Kill Whitey".

But as usual, there was at least one voice of reason:

Jean-Marie Jean-Pierre, a quality assurance specialist at NASA and a black Haitian immigrant, said he doesn't approve of the idea of reparations. "I don't need them. I came here and I learned English and I got a good college education. This is the land of opportunity. Why does anybody need reparations?"

That pretty much says it all.

Posted 8/17/2002 12:22:00 AM by Douglas

At first glance, you may think this came fromThe Onion, and it does seem like it.

What's important to remember is that the Shuttle/Station budget is about 1/7 of the total $15 Billion total NASA budget.

Where does the other 6/7 go?

Well, here ya go. The War on Evildoers.

Posted 8/16/2002 02:55:00 PM by Douglas

A tribute to the King 25 years after his "death."

Posted 8/16/2002 12:31:00 AM by Douglas

This makes me sick. The neocons have been spouting for months how absurd our reaction would seem if the "greatest generation" would have reacted accordingly to the attack of Pearl Harbor. Well, now the lawyers have thrown their hats into the ring with this little gem. I swear when I saw it on CNN this afternoon the settlement was only $1 trillion, but now it has ballooned to $116 trillion. Let's start with the amount, shall we?

If you gave someone a million dollars each and every SECOND, it would take over 3 and a half YEARS to transfer that amount of money. Can you really put a dollar amount of human life? Lawyers have been arguing that point for years, but apparently they've summed it up quite nicely. Plus it sounds too much like the part from the first Austin Powers movie when Dr. Evil was trying to figure out how much the ransom should be. He was alarmed to discover that a million dollars wasn't a whole lot of money in 1997, when his son says, "Why not just ask for a kazillion dollars, ass?!"

Secondly, how on earth are they going to reach a settlement? They've acquired the services of Allen Gerson, one of the attorneys who negotiated a $2.7 billion settlement between the Libyan government and families of people killed when Pam Am Flight 103 was blown up. So you know he knows what he's doing. But is there some international civil court that I'm unaware of?

Finally, of all the comparisons to Pearl Harbor that have come out in comparison to the 9/11 attacks, let's dial back the clocks 60 years. Try to imagine the grieving widows suing the Emperor of Japan for "wrongful death" in 1942. We've got the full brunt of the American military industrial complex avenging the 9/11 attacks.

Is there any way to spin this to make these people not look like they are just in it for the money? The Federal Government has already offered them well over a million NOT to sue the airlines, the port authority, and the FAA.

This just seems like an attempt to make a name for themselves on CNN and line their pockets in the process.

Posted 8/15/2002 02:32:00 PM by Douglas

I'm glad that someone is saying this sort of thing. The neo-cons can badmouth idiotic Hollywood types for making inane criticisms all they want, but the fact of the matter is someone needs to be asking many more questions about what's going on in this country.

Ashcroft and his aides appear to view this relationship as lineal, where security must precede liberty.

And

Whereas Al Qaeda is a threat to the lives of our citizens, Ashcroft has become a clear and present threat to our liberties.

It's about damn time someone's saying this.

Let's not forget that the good people in the State of Missouri chose a freakin' corpse over John Ashcroft as their State's Senator. How you go from losing a Senate election in Missouri to becoming the Attorney General is beyond me.

Posted 8/15/2002 07:33:00 AM by Douglas

This is just a little too much like Raising Arizona to really be funny.

Under questioning, Roach said she had given birth to the baby the day before in a doctor's office in Abilene, Akers said.

She goes away for a month, not pregnant, and comes back to Quannah with a month old baby. Doesn't make sense, does it? I think she should have watched Raising Arizona for some ideas during questioning. "Over here ya got your favortisims, and over here it's just who you know. Turns out Ed happened to know someone in one of the agencies."

"I don't think we need no more kids, but Dot says these here are gettin' too big to cuddle. . . "

Okay, enough.

Posted 8/15/2002 07:21:00 AM by Douglas

You just can't make up stuff like this.

Gesell's mother, Ruth, said her son suffers from depression and needs medication. She said the junk mail grates on his nerves.

Gee, ya think?
I hope this guy doesn't have an email account. 157 messages a day for XXX Brittney action or Re-finance now! would really cause this guy to pop his cork.

Posted 8/14/2002 11:27:00 PM by Douglas

This is just plain wrong. What do they think they are doing?
This is the finest example of why law enforcement is not about law, but rather about collecting fines. Do they really want to slow people down, or do they just want to give tickets?

Well, I think this answers it.

Posted 8/14/2002 10:57:00 PM by Douglas

Let's give a big hand to India in welcoming them to the 1960s
Now India and China are in a space race of their own, 30 years after USA and Russia got bored with it (or ran out of money).

Posted 8/14/2002 09:25:00 AM by Douglas

This is amazing. I've heard that this tobacco settlement was the biggest single transfer of wealth in the history of the world. Judging from this, I'd have to agree. $3.3 Billion for 5 lawyers? If I had received $660 million for one case, I'd want to keep quite about it, too.

Posted 8/13/2002 10:33:00 PM by Douglas

"He's doing beautifully, he's kicking butt in every way. He's totally dedicated and everybody loves him there," Krieff said. This is the end, folks. The end of the space program as we know it. When it turns into the next reality show, NASA is going to be forced to admit "The Right Stuff" is a thing of the past, and these guys are nothing more than trained monkeys. Still need proof? Try this one:

"I have 15 other celebrities, huge 'A' and 'B' list celebrities, that are wanting to do exactly what we're doing. It's a dream come true."

You'd expect your 737 pilot to be highly trained, wouldn't you? Well these guys are no different, and while the Russians have convinced us to build them a shiny new replacement for Mir right under our very noses, NASA didn't realize that they were losing their strangle hold on the exclusive privledge of manned spaceflight.

A few more boy-bands on the ISS will be all it takes to convince the tax paying public that the last 25 years of low-earth orbit has been scientifically pointless, and the next 15 years of ISS operations and operating the same 70s era shuttles is not only completely pointless, but utterly boring once the TV ratings start to sag.

Personally, I don't think low earth orbit is far enough for most boy bands.

"Space station Alpha to Russian ground site: permission to jettison the payload ahead of schedule. . ."

Posted 8/13/2002 12:43:00 PM by Douglas

Why in the world would CNN release a story like this on August 12, 2002? I can think of a few reasons:

• The War against Evildoers has stalled, and we need to be reminded.
  
• The progress in the usurpation of our civil liberties here at home has stalled.

Whatever the case, it's pure propaganda. But you've got to love statements like this:

The September 11 attacks -- carried out by members of Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda terror network -- killed about 3,000 people in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania.

Really? I hadn't heard. For the past year I've been living on Mars, in a cave, with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears.

Posted 8/11/2002 05:37:00 PM by Douglas

This is so stupid that I'm not sure it's even blogworthy, but here goes. Domino's is ditching its free delivery.

I believe I'm one of 4 people in the Northern Hemisphere that has never eaten a Domino's Pizza, and judging from the stupidity of this story, I'm not going to. Ever.

You sell the pizza, you set the price. We don't like it, we go somewhere else. It's called capitalism. Look into it.

What gets me is that I've always found a wide variance in pizza cost from place to place, not to mention how much it costs in the first place. How much chicken will $10.99 buy at KFC? I rest my case.

So, tack on a buck (or two) to the cost of the pizza, but don't announce this crap. I'm no marketing specialists, but this just breed bad press.

It reminds me of Jonah's rant about "non-refundable deposits".

We're hungry, dumb and we want our pizza. Add a buck to the cost, deliver it "for free", and let us go about our merry way.

AND!
So up 'till now, there was "free delivery?"
Then why was "carry out" so much cheaper than "delivery" to begin with? What makes the pizza they bring me cost 3 bucks more than the one I drive down to pick up myself? Sounds to me there has always been a hidden "delivery charge" there.

Lying Bastards.

Posted 8/11/2002 05:27:00 PM by Douglas

Man, what a way to go. Here's a suicide victim with a flair for the dramatics.

Posted 8/11/2002 05:19:00 PM by Douglas

NO! Not Brandon!!!!!
Thank God he was on a track, because when rich people get in a high powered aircraft that they have absolutely no business piloting, they usually kill others when they crash, making it more difficult for the entire general aviation community. This time, the only thing damaged was the car, the wall, and his nervous system. But some might say it was damaged years ago. Has anyone seen

Calendar Girl?
I didn't think so.

Posted 8/11/2002 04:46:00 PM by Douglas

What if Monty Python was the Minister of Defense for Iraq?

I think it'd look something like this.

My, isn't that a silly walk?

Posted 8/11/2002 02:55:00 PM by Douglas

Finally, a glimpse of sanity in the "two seat minimum" for obese airline passengers, from Joe Bob, of course.

I think that's kinda sweet of em, don't you? FedEx doesn't give you a 10-pound weight credit if the plane to Memphis is only three-quarters full, and I don't see much difference here.

I'm surprised I have to explain these things.

We are too, Joe Bob.

Posted 8/10/2002 12:37:00 AM by Douglas

I hate Talkback Live for so many more reasons than Joe Bob has enumerated here , but he hits the high parts.
Why is it, with any story on the news, they have to go to "the man on the street" to talk about the raising gasoline prices, the tropical storm in the gulf, or a dog that had puppies? If only they'd listen to Joe Bob, and run their title on the screen underneath their picture:

"Dexter Williams, Dull-Witted Cliche-Ridden Guest Being Treated As Though He Has Something To Contribute."

At last, a bit of honesty. . .

Posted 8/09/2002 10:46:00 PM by Douglas

Indeed, as the story states, "This was a senseless act. . . ", but do we really know it was vandalism? Sure, CNN usually knows more than they say (except for when they say more than they know, but that's another story), but this story about 55,000 dead chickens
caught my eye.

I know they weren't ready to be slaughtered, but 55,000 chickens worth only $56,000? What's the deal with that? An average sized bird costs me at least $5 at the store. So if the chicken costs $1.02, who makes the $3.98? The chicken farmer, or Tyson?

Posted 8/06/2002 02:32:00 PM by Douglas

Dave Berry is right on target, as usual, with this piece about bottled water.

I heard this on NPR a few years ago. Coke's marketing department had some data that said that 1/7 of the fluid consumed by humans on this planet was a Coke product, and the only way to increase this number was to get into the bottled water business. Enter Desani; a Coke without the corn syrup. What I can't figure out is why it costs more than a Coke does.

The biggest push as far as TV commercials goes is from AquaFina, and I have no idea who owns them, but they've got Kelly Rippa barking for them. There's something about her that makes her seem like she needs a good pummeling just as much (if not more) as Kathy Lee did. In the commercial, she reveals the innovation that AquaFina has made in water. . . . .
taste!
Uh, I may have not been paying attention lately, but what's new about this? Besides putting out fires and washing your dog, being flavorless is one of water's greatest qualities. So why on earth would someone get excited about Kool-Aid without the sugar?

I'm with Dave. Those commercials where people sweat colored Gatorade are really creepy.

Posted 8/06/2002 02:13:00 PM by Douglas

I made it back alive and I had to list this in the blog, because the headline was so damn funny:
Man found dead in alley connected to Rainbow
Really?