Posted 2/29/2004 11:31:00 PM by Douglas

Since I'm turning soft-core I have a question: Yahoo tells me these are the same boobies. You tell me:

OK, how sad is that? Not only is this poor woman making a career off her boobies, but she's not even content with them. Hey, you gotta dance with who brung ya.

This is just further proof that Los Angeles is out of this world, because it is obviously experiencing moon gravity on Oscar night, as opposed to the Earth gravity when this picture was made.

Update: Diagnosis: Earth Gravity!

Posted 2/29/2004 11:31:00 PM by Douglas

It's rigged. It's just so very rigged. Titanic should have taught me that.

Posted 2/29/2004 05:59:00 PM by Douglas

The giftbag for the losers. $45,000? Makes the winners look like, well, winners.

Posted 2/29/2004 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

Looks like the Oscars are off and running:

Remember, we're looking at the Dress.

Update: Moon Gravity!

Posted 2/29/2004 05:48:00 PM by Douglas

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Blogging is a total waste of time. Anyone that does it for anything but their own edification is wasting their time.

Except for those that don't. I could name about 10 people that have inked lucrative journalism deals for themselves from their excellent commentary in their blogs. Or, those that have the most-read and informative blog around and has a better teaching job (you know who you are.)

Here's the dirty truth about bloggers: Not everyone has something to say. Duh, you need me explain this one to you?

Some bloggers indeed update their journals often, in some cases several times a day. But it's clearly a minority who are taking advantage of the blog and its potential to steer the online discourse with personal musings about news events and daily life.

Well, duh. I still contend that the majority of bloggers are of two varieties: Overwrought high school girls, or wanna-be politicos.

Sometimes both.

Posted 2/29/2004 01:41:00 PM by Douglas

I think at some point the blog is going to get a spin-off. There's obviously a need for a website that chronicles the crazy women in Houston that kill their husbands. Meet Susan Wright. She the latest Houstonian vying for the 2003 Clara Harris award.

Prosecutors, however, portrayed the 27-year-old mother as the one who inflicted terror. They say she tied her husband to the couple's bed and stabbed him 193 times before partially burying his body in the back yard and trying to hide the evidence.

Why did she stab him 193 times? Because 204 would have been ridiculous.

Prosecutors say Wright lured her 34-year-old husband to his death, seducing him with a candlelit bedroom, stripping him naked and tying his wrists and ankles to bedposts with neckties and bathrobe sashes.

This is what happens when Lifetime keeps running the edited version of Basic Instinct too often.

The mother wanted a new life but had religious qualms about divorce, Siegler said. Intent on walking away with a $200,000 life-insurance payout, she killed her husband and dumped his body in a shallow hole that he had been digging in their back yard to install a fountain, the prosecutor said.

First off, any spouse should be a little concerned when the other starts digging a hole in the back yard, but since he dug his own grave, we can just write that off as ironic. But she had "religious qualms about divorce?" Are you freakin' kidding? She's a stripper? She didn't have any "religious qualms" against grinding strange men's crotches for money, but drew the line at divorce? What about murder? That didn't ring any bells on her "religious qualm" meter? So on her moral compass, stripping and murder; OK. Divorce, not OK.

Davis said his client was suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome after enduring physical and emotional abuse from her husband and being raped by him just before she killed him.

As an accused murderer, she has the right to present any defense her lawyer sees fit. But I think it's awfully hard for her husband to rape her if he was tied to the bed.

Posted 2/29/2004 12:19:00 PM by Douglas

Speaking of movies, it's Oscar time again and I have but one question: Who are you wearing?

As much as I hate to admit it, I sort of look forward to this cultural train wreck every year. No, I don't have the most fabulous Oscar party on my block, and as far as I know, I'm not even gay. But there's just something interesting seeing people, especially these people, taking themselves so damn seriously. They're actors, and that's all. But for some reason, they've convinced us somehow they warrant more. More of everything. Also, somehow Adam Sandler convinced us to pay him $20 Million for Little Nicky, but I think that's just a symptom, not the cause.

I like watching movies, presumably for the same reason everyone else does. The story. The imagery. The 90 minute escape into a world that's not as rote and mundane as your own. So it saddens me to see the trend in movies. All F/X, no story. I watched several movies from the 40s this week, and it's incredible to see the story come to life back in the day when they actually paid writers, as opposed to hiring high school girls to write dialog in-between scenes of stuff blowing up.

Conversely, I don't like going to the movies. It may be the small-town in me and that it's not something we could have done, even if we'd wanted to. But ask any agoraphobic about movie theaters and they'd probably tell you, "Who the hell are you? Get the hell away from me before I call the cops!" Then they'd probably say they hate all the people in the theater. I like to think that I'm teetering closer to the misanthropic side of agoraphobia, so it's not so much the people, per se, but the people's cell phones, popcorn crunching, insistent talking, and general belief that they're in their own living room. I actually had a complete stranger lean over to me in a crowded theater and ask "hey, who's that lady?" while pointing at the screen.

But regardless of where we watch them, we watch the crap out of them. All of them, and it's a sad realization, but they are more of a reflection of our society than the pointy heads-care to admit.

So today we all can bask in Hollywood's success, and I think we should. After all, the Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo sequel is already in pre-production.

Posted 2/29/2004 12:10:00 PM by Douglas

A review of The Passion of the Christ that's worth reading, by Brian Dunaway.

Posted 2/28/2004 06:46:00 PM by Douglas

I knew the Clooney story had to be fake.

Sadly, it turns out that Clooney won't wash just anyone's car after all.

"It's a private party by invitation only and George made that offer to those people he invited," his rep, Stan Rosenfield, told E!

Dang. And just when I had my wife's birthday present all picked out and everything. . .

Posted 2/28/2004 06:36:00 PM by Douglas

Of course Iran hasn't found Osama. Don't the Iranians know the election isn't until November? Gees

At least wait 'till after the conventions this summer. . .

Posted 2/28/2004 06:17:00 PM by Douglas

The CIA used what could only be described today as "computer terrorism" against the Soviet Union at the end of the Cold war. Wow, there's a shocker:

At the time, the United States was attempting to block Western Europe from importing Soviet natural gas. There were also signs that the Soviets were trying to steal a wide variety of Western technology. Then, a KGB insider revealed the specific shopping list and the CIA slipped the flawed software to the Soviets in a way they would not detect it.

"In order to disrupt the Soviet gas supply, its hard currency earnings from the West, and the internal Russian economy, the pipeline software that was to run the pumps, turbines, and valves was programmed to go haywire, after a decent interval, to reset pump speeds and valve settings to produce pressures far beyond those acceptable to pipeline joints and welds," Reed writes.

What they don't tell you is that plucky young CIA coder found a nice job at MicroSoft, and he's been doing a fine job of making MicroSoft products go haywire for no fucking reason ever since.

But there's more to this story that bugs me. If Al Queda did this and there was a small explosion in Regan County, Texas, G'dumb couldn't gas up the bombers fast enough. But since we're the good guys and the Soviets were the bad guys, it's OK?

I guess it's never occurred to anyone that no one thinks that they are the bad guys. And I'm sure if Al Queda reads this article, they won't change their mind at all.

Posted 2/27/2004 09:59:00 PM by Douglas

Government waste at its finest:

NASA has lost about $34 million in government property since 1997 and has failed to keep track of items ranging from outdated laptops to a $300,000 robot.

An audit found $58 million in items missing, but about $24 million of the property was later accounted for. The space agency concedes it has no idea what happened to the rest.

Ouch. That's a lot of pens and post-it notes.

Posted 2/27/2004 09:50:00 PM by Douglas

I didn't really want George Clooney to wash my car in a toga. I just wanted to support his father's congressional campaign. What else could I do with $500?

Posted 2/27/2004 09:31:00 PM by Douglas

The path to spiritual atonement: Kitties:

Posted 2/27/2004 09:28:00 PM by Douglas

Like we need a reason to dissuade more people from oral sex. Thanks again, medical science.

If that is your real name. . .

Posted 2/27/2004 09:24:00 PM by Douglas

Is America an Empire? Here are some pretty good questions.

In the global information age, strategic power is simply not so highly concentrated. Instead, it is distributed among countries in a pattern that resembles a complex three-dimensional chess game. On the top chessboard, military power is largely unipolar, but on the economic board, the US is not a hegemon or an empire, and it must bargain as an equal when, for example, Europe acts in a unified way. On the bottom chessboard of transnational relations, power is chaotically dispersed, and it makes no sense to use traditional terms such as unipolarity, hegemony, or American empire.

I guess that makes us an "Empire Lite." Man, what a great term, which seems to fit perfectly with this observation:

In fact, the problem of creating an American empire might better be termed imperial underreach. Neither the US public nor Congress has proven willing to invest seriously in the instruments of nation building and governance as opposed to military force.

You can't play chess by yourself.

Posted 2/27/2004 09:04:00 PM by Douglas

At least this frivolous law suit had a happy ending.

America is the most litigious society in the world. But surely things have gone too far when parents start suing their own children to collect for inadvertent injuries.

Yet that is what a 58-year-old Warren mother did recently when she tripped on a raised slab of concrete on her daughter’s driveway.

The state Court of Appeals ruled that the mother was not entitled to collect damages. But to discourage such lawsuits in the future, it should have actually fined the lawyer who brought this lawsuit.

It's about damn time. Also good to know that the proceeds from the first 36,000 boxes of Girl Scout cookies sold go to appease the lawyers.

What are they going to do when they sue the Girl Scouts for being fat and diabetic?

Posted 2/26/2004 10:22:00 PM by Douglas

Did you buy a CD between January 1, 1995 and December 22, 2000? Well I did, and last spring I put my name in a website, www.MusicCDSettlement.com and promptly forgot about it. Well today was payday. I got something in the mail today that looked like junk mail, but I opened it anyway:

February, 2004

Dear Texas Music Purchaser:

As Attorney General of the State of Texas, I am please to enclose payment for your claim in the settlement of the Compact Disc Minimum Advertised Price Antitrust Litigation. This lawsuit was brought by the Attorneys General of 43 states and three territories and by counsel for Private Class Plaintiffs on behalf of purchasers of music CDs. In accordance with the terms of the court-approved settlement, payment is being made to music purchasers who filed a valid and timely claim.

Whether you filed your claim online at the settlement web site, www.MusicCDSettlement.com, or by mail, the attached payment represents full payment of your portion of the Settlement. Please note that the attached payment instrument must be cashed by May 20, 2004.

It is a pleasure to bring this matter to a satisfactory conclusion and to return value to consumers who purchased CDs while the challenged pricing policies were in effect.

Greg Abbott
Attorney General of Texas

Wow! I got money, a letter from the Attorney General, and all I did was fill in a website! Score!

The check was for the princely sum of $13.86 (American).

While my first question was how much did the scum-bag lawyers make off this deal? But I can't think about that. I got almost $14 for doing absolutely nothing but buying CDs.

The sad part is that it's not enough to go buy another CD.

Posted 2/26/2004 09:57:00 PM by Douglas

The scourge of the 21st century: Girl Scout cookies. Now it looks like there's some asshats that want to put them out to pasture. Those cookies sell for two very compelling reasons. First, they're freakin' delicious. Maybe it's just because you can only get them once a year, but they're better than any cookie you can get at the store. Plus, how are you going to turn down some cute little girl that wants to sell you cookies? You can't, unless you're on par with Stalin, Hitler, or some tinfoil-hat wearing libertarian that thinks the Girl Scouts are some product of the leviathan state. But you know what? Those folks see the leviathan state when they burn their toast or drop the toothpaste cap down the drain, so those folks have earned the lunatic fringe upon which they reside. But these nuts take it a step too far. Organizing a boycott against thin-mints? Wake up, people.

Do the Girl Scouts 'support' Planned Parenthood? I don't know. Probably. But that's hardly the point. Do they do more harm than good? Do they provide cohesion and guidance to girls at a particularly troublesome time in their development? I'd say yes, but I've never been a girl scout.

The real question is this: Don't those idiots have bigger evils in the world that they can go after before they sick their judgmental dogs on the Girl Scouts? How 'bout those do-gooders settle the drug problem, rape, murder, divorce, child abuse, ring-around-the-collar and AIDS and then go after those pesky Girl Scouts.

In the meantime, I guess that just means more cookies for the rest of us. . .

Posted 2/26/2004 09:46:00 PM by Douglas

There's no telling how many movie arguments that the IMDB has definitively settled. So when I found out that God got a writing credit for Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ, I thought it was funny. At first. Then I realized how many other movies that God should get credit for, but didn't. So you can understand how upset I was when he didn't get credit for any other film. It doesn't even say who God's representation is. Because you know God would have a Jewish agent.

God doesn't even have a single Oscar nomination. What's up with that?

Posted 2/26/2004 09:37:00 PM by Douglas

More on yesterday's post about manufacturing jobs. I did a little digging for Economic Report of the President. It's PDF, but worth the read. The box on page 78 pretty much describes the difficulties in defining a "manufacturing job."

The definition of a manufactured product, however, is not straightforward. When a fast-food restaurant sells a hamburger, for example, is it providing a "service" or is it combining inputs to "manufacture" a product?

For example, mixing water and concentrate to produce soft drinks is classified as manufacturing. However, if that activity is performed at a snack bar, it is considered a service.

I don't know who came up with this definition, but it's pretty damn embarrassing. But I guess it explains the "Manufacturing activity is increasing" comment in Bush's State of the Union Address.

There's a donut shop that opened up down my street called "The Kolache Factory." I guess they get a tax break due to the heavy industry involved in the assembly of kolaches.

Posted 2/26/2004 09:01:00 PM by Douglas

Why is it again that public school teachers don't want to say on the job?

The board heard testimony on a proposed rule that would loosen requirements for college graduates to teach in Texas public schools. A vote to accept or reject the State Board of Educator Certification's rule was expected Friday.

"The problem is retention, not supply," said Richard Kouri of the Texas State Teachers Association. "The real problem is our new teachers don't stay in our classrooms for very long, and individuals who do not come through traditional certification programs leave sooner than those who do."

Considering that teachers get the summers off, the pay ain't that bad, if you work it out on an hourly rate. What sucks is spineless administration that won't stand behind the teachers who are faulted for pointing out that idiot, worthless children aren't the little geniuses that their parents think they are. Maybe if there was some accountability in the management, teachers would want to stick around longer

Posted 2/25/2004 06:53:00 PM by Douglas

Excellent article on the disconnect between two fundamental liberal tenants of the faith: welfare and multiculturalism.

And therein lies one of the central dilemmas of political life in developed societies: sharing and solidarity can conflict with diversity. This is an especially acute dilemma for progressives who want plenty of both solidarity (high social cohesion and generous welfare paid out of a progressive tax system) and diversity (equal respect for a wide range of peoples, values and ways of life). The tension between the two values is a reminder that serious politics is about trade-offs. It also suggests that the left's recent love affair with diversity may come at the expense of the values and even the people that it once championed.

The whole thing is spot on. And I got it from Fark. Who'd a thunk it?

Posted 2/25/2004 06:47:00 PM by Douglas

Watch out, Diet Coke-heads. It may get ugly.

Posted 2/25/2004 06:45:00 PM by Douglas

I had a statistics professor in college tell the class he actually saw a flipped coin land on it's edge. He was, of course, lying. But, Dr. Barnes, you can now officially suck it:

The randomness in a coin toss, it appears, is introduced by sloppy humans. Each human-generated flip has a different height and speed, and is caught at a different angle, giving different outcomes.

The folks at Harvard (and NPR) have way too much time on their hands.

Posted 2/25/2004 06:40:00 PM by Douglas

Burger flipping, a manufacturing job? Hey, they're making something, aren't they?

If Bush is counting burger assembly as a manufacturing job, this makes "republican vegetable ketchup" look like nothing.

But I like the idea of getting Mayor McCheese into a more prominent position. I think he's ready

Posted 2/24/2004 06:02:00 PM by Douglas

Brownsville, Tx to Red Beach, ME. The Intercoastal Waterway and you.

Posted 2/24/2004 05:35:00 PM by Douglas

Remember when the Republicans used to at least claim that they weren't the big government party that wanted to interfere with people's personal lives? Yeah, me neither. So today Bush "comes out" [pun defiantly intended] today supporting a Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.

Bush said "activist judges and local officials" from Massachusetts to San Francisco to New Mexico were attempting to redefine marriage and "change the most fundamental institution of civilization" by allowing same-sex weddings. "On a matter of such importance, the voice of the people must be heard," he said.

Ok, let's say you look around the world we live in and see moral decay in every corner. Is gay marriage really the straw that broke the camel's back? Of all the sources of moral decay, is the country going to be a better place if same-sex couples can't marry?

Or, perhaps, you think anyone that wants to get married should be allowed to. Why would gay people want to get married? If they're spiritually committed to each other, why do they want the "piece of paper" from the state to make it legal? For health benefits?

I can't say that I really care one way or the other, but it's certainly not worth altering the Constitution. If gay couples want to lose half their shit in a divorce while paying more in income tax to Uncle Sam just because they're married, hey, more power to 'em.

Posted 2/24/2004 05:34:00 PM by Douglas

Wasting time on the Internet, part #408. This kind of thing is largely stupid, but it's kind of interesting to see where $15 Million research goes.

I half expected to a picture of the wife at the end of this survey saying "what the hell are you doing?"

Posted 2/24/2004 05:16:00 PM by Douglas

The Dutch are ready to kick out 26,000 asylum seekers:

About 26,000 rejected asylum seekers who arrived in the Netherlands before April 1, 2001, and have exhausted all appeals will be stripped of their asylum benefits and put on aircraft to go back home.

These include Afghans, Somalis and Chechens facing civil wars or life in regions with no functioning government.

That's bound to tick a lot of people off. Who'd have thunk the Dutch would be the first to try something like this?

Posted 2/23/2004 11:09:00 PM by Douglas

I just got wind of Richard Simkanin, but apparently, he's going down for not paying taxes. This is unfortunate.

On Monday, prosecutors put 11 witnesses on the stand -- including Simkanin's sister-in-law Dianne Clemonds -- to try to show that Simkanin knew what he was doing when he stopped withholding and paying taxes on employee wages.

Clemonds said she worked at Simkanin's company, Arrow Custom Plastics, for 11 years, including as an accounts payable clerk. Eventually, she became aware that Simkanin had decided not to pay the income taxes.

She testified that Simkanin made her "president" and put her name on the bank accounts and credit card bills because he didn't want to sign any legal documents. Simkanin "didn't want to be part of the system," she said.

Clemonds testified that she resigned because she didn't want the responsibility and that she "wasn't going to go to jail for him."

Accountants James Kelly and Fred Taylor said that they repeatedly warned Simkanin that his approach to filing his taxes would get him into trouble. Eventually, they said, they refused to prepare his business and personal tax returns.

"He did not believe the Internal Revenue Code applied to him," Taylor said. "I told him it did and that he would get into a lot of trouble."

I don't think anyone enjoys paying taxes, but the way to beat the system isn't by ignoring it. I also have a news flash to U.S. District Judge John McBryde:

McBryde has compared the tax honesty movement to a cult.

I don't know what Judge McBryde's definition of a cult is, but I think that if you've got 100 Million members of a group that hates paying taxes, it loses a bit of its cult status.

There's a lot of subtext to what's going on here, and I don't know the half of it, but I do know that Mr. Simkanin is relying on his Christian faith to exonerate him. Seems like he needs to read Matthew 22:21 a few more times, for clarity.

Posted 2/23/2004 09:55:00 PM by Douglas

Dr. Rod Paige referred to the National Education Association as a "terrorist organization." Obviously, he worked in the Houston Independent School District too long.

Or, not near long enough.

Posted 2/23/2004 09:51:00 PM by Douglas

A wedding escalated to a knife fight? I'm sure that's the first time that's ever happened.

Posted 2/23/2004 09:26:00 PM by Douglas

If there's a reason I don't already own one of these, I sure don't know what it is. Hell, if I'm going to have to order it, I might as well get the Cajun one, too. Thanks, Dave. And I'm sure that everyone in my office thanks you, too.

Now quit your jibber jabber!

Don't make me mad. . . . Grrrr!

Posted 2/22/2004 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

Why is it that adults don't realize when is and is not an acceptable time to view porn? The recent events at The University of Texas Health-Science Center at Houston and kiddie porn turns what you'd assume to be a no-brainer into a multi-discipline task force. Why?

The current UT system policy requires that state-issued equipment such as computers are "to be used for institutional purposes, not personal or private purposes," although occasional incidental personal use not interfering with work responsibility is acceptable. It adds that "improper or illegal use of the Internet by employees may subject them to disciplinary action."

Remember that we're talking about doctors here. Look, if you're at work, or school, you're on someone else's computer. Save your money and spring for the DSL at home, ya cheap bastard.

Posted 2/22/2004 05:30:00 PM by Douglas

Kinda sad when the loser of American Idol is just as big as the winner:

Two words: She bangs.

Posted 2/22/2004 04:58:00 PM by Douglas

Nader's thrown his hat back into the ring. You just can't beat the Fark headline:

Ralph Nader emerges from hole in the ground, sees his shadow, announces intent to run for president again. It's official: four more years of President Bush

Posted 2/19/2004 05:12:00 PM by Douglas

The comprehensive do NOT do list for the aspiring evil super-genius. I didn't make it all the way through this, but it's still pretty funny.

Posted 2/19/2004 05:07:00 PM by Douglas

Why is Katie Couric growing her hair? Why is Katie Couric's hair a news item? It can only mean one thing: She's a man.

update:Thanks, Allison. I can't pay you for editing just yet. . .

Posted 2/19/2004 05:04:00 PM by Douglas

Sure, September eleventh isn't the most romantic days to have an anniversary, but chances are, you're going to remember the date. And think of the sweet deal you got on the reception hall.

Posted 2/19/2004 04:43:00 PM by Douglas

Finally, Aggie time-keeping has found its way to the Internet.

It's almost hypnotic. . .

Posted 2/17/2004 10:08:00 PM by Douglas

The first indication I had that the free CarFax report for used cars wasn't on the level was when I punched in the VIN for the car I bough used 12 years ago. It had been wrecked no less than three times (that I knew about), and should have been totaled at least two of those wrecks. But check this out:

• No Severe Accidents Reported to DMV - GUARANTEED!
• Other Accident Indicators - No Accident Indicators Reported

I guess that's how they get around that. No severe accidents. . reported to DMV and no accident indicators reported.

Still, anyone thinking that you're getting the straight dope on a used car, should think again.

Posted 2/17/2004 04:56:00 PM by Douglas

Whatever you do do not, I repeat, do not shake it like a Polaroid picture:

The image "never touches air, so shaking or waving has no effect," the company said on its Web site.

"In fact, shaking or waving can actually damage the image. Rapid movement during development can cause portions of the film to separate prematurely, or can cause 'blobs' in the picture."

A Polaroid spokesman added: "Almost everybody does it, thinking that shaking accelerates the development process, but if you shake it too vigorously you could distort the image. A casual shake typically doesn't affect it."

Polaroid said its film should be laid on a flat surface and shielded from the wind, and that users should avoid bending or twisting their pictures.

Of course, "lay it on a flat surface like a Polaroid picture," doesn't sound nearly as cool.

Well, duh.

Posted 2/17/2004 04:40:00 PM by Douglas

The timeline is hyperlinked if you go to the site. Why is it we don't see this stuff in the election commercials?

Posted 2/16/2004 05:57:00 PM by Douglas

No matter how drunk you get and how scarce restrooms are, it's still illegal to take a leak on Bourbon Street:

"We don't have a bathroom,"
he said, seemingly incredulous that anyone would expect a drinks-to-go business to provide such an amenity.

The daiquiri shop is one of dozens of to-go operations squeezed into the roughly 100 square blocks in the French Quarter. The number of to-go shops swells during Carnival.

After a quick exchange of money for a plastic cup of beer or mixed drink, the term "to go" takes on a different, more urgent, meaning as thousands of customers find themselves in need of restrooms.

Come on. What would Mardi Gras be without the smell of beer soaked urine? No one goes down there with the expectation of doing push-ups on the rain/beer/urine soaked streets. Unless you're an Aggie, and yes, I actually saw this happen once.

Posted 2/16/2004 05:49:00 PM by Douglas

Historic Wellington, at it again:

Judy Cudd, a member of the group, said she's had a long-standing love affair with history. She remembers exploring the nooks and crannies of an old house she used to visit as a child, realizing "none of these things are going to come again."

Cudd is one of an estimated 100 people involved in Historic Wellington - a group that can't exactly fit around a coffee table any more. And many of the members live elsewhere, connected to each other by the power of e-mail.

It's great to see this kind of interest taken in the community, but I can't say I'm more or less excited about seeing this theater restored than any other decrepit building in or around Wellington. I would like to see The Last Picture Show there, but something tells me that's not the kind of movie they're going to be showing there.

Posted 2/13/2004 09:53:00 PM by Douglas

I for one am glad that the preppy murders didn't go off today as expected in Dickinson High School. I'm sure that one preppy kid at DHS is breathing a sigh of relief, too.

Capt. Steve Krone of the Dickinson Police Department said three girls — two 15-year-olds and a 16-year-old — had been charged with making a false report.

Krone said the girls claimed they had found a hit list. Upon further investigation, he added, it turned out to be a prank to get out of class. “Any pranks or any jokes will be taken seriously,” he said.

A teenager using a prank to get out of class? What is this world coming to?

Look, most teenagers don't know who the president is, so why should we expect them to realize that the entire society has lost their sense of irony? Stupid people do stupid things. Nothing's going to change that, so just let these kids get out of high school and realize how the real world actually sucks. Prison would kill them.

Posted 2/13/2004 08:17:00 PM by Douglas

Looks like the Sons of Confederate Veterans' Texas division is suing to get their plaque back in the Texas Supreme Court Building. For those that forgot, G'dub had it taken out back in the summer of '00 because it on its face, it had a brass relief of the battle flag of the Army of Northern Virginia. But what at the time seemed to be a political move by the then governor (he's a uniter, not a divider) seemed to backfire amongst anyone that has a clue. As it turns out, the State Court House was built with funds from the Confederate Veteran's pension fund. So, the state will take their money, but not hang a rectangular brass plaque on the wall with a monochrome relief of a battle flag that had no importance to Texas? Surely, we're not blowing this out of proportion, are we?

Uh, I guess we are. Check out this idiot.

I think that it's inappropriate to commemorate a government which broke off from, and attacked the United States in order to protect the institution of slavery in government buildings.

It's sad to see people get all their knowledge from their 9th grade history course. But unfortunately way too common. But stick around on the site to read Cat's last comment. There's someone who knows the score.

Posted 2/13/2004 08:00:00 PM by Douglas

Finally, it's good to see that jurors are getting fed up with frivolous lawsuits, too.

In a scene that has become commonplace in Harris County courts, dozens of people in the jury pool said, in effect, that they simply could not obey Texas law.

"They stood and said, `I hate lawsuits, I hate plaintiffs' lawyers and I hate plaintiffs, and I don't think they should even be at the courthouse.' " Ray said. "I thought, `Uh-oh. I can't have that guy because he can't be fair.' "

That's pretty sad. The jurors can't obey the law and have to use what we used to call common sense to determine these trials. Who knows, this woman my have a legitimate case. She may have been truly wronged by the drug company. But people are finally so sick of seeing juries give out kazillions of dollars to idiots, it takes something like this to get people's attention.

Nearly everyone in the legal system points to the now-famous case of Sheila Liebeck, the McDonald's drive-through customer who spilled hot coffee on her lap in 1994. She sued the fast-food chain, and a New Mexico jury awarded her $160,000 to cover medical costs and an additional $2.7 million in punitive damages.

Liebeck's $2.7 million verdict was later reduced to $480,000 on appeal.

Thanks, Sheila. Instead of being remembered as a dumbass by your family, you'll go down as a person who helped to destroy the legal system of our country. Good going.

Posted 2/11/2004 09:17:00 PM by Douglas

First off to use the terms "executive" and "expert" in the same sentence is an insult to the phrase "definitely not a." But what in the hell is a Lockheed ex-chairman doing shooting his mouth off about?

Commission member Neil deGrasse Tyson, an astrophysicist who is director of the Hayden Planetarium in New York, asked Augustine whether $15 billion a year for 10 years would be enough to set NASA on course to fulfill the moon-and-then-on-to-Mars vision put forth by Bush one month ago. The space agency's annual budget has been around $15 billion in recent years.

Augustine pointed out that during the next decade, NASA will still have the enormous cost of running all its centers, the space shuttle fleet and the international space station, not to mention conducting research. He said the nation traditionally has underestimated the cost of big programs.

Ok, skippy, answer me this. The Department of Defense will get $380 Billion in '04, the Department of Health and Human Services will get $491 in '04. Do you honestly think that most people are that concerned with where less than one penny of each of their tax dollar is going? Somehow, I doubt it.

OK, I just thought this article was stupid. But I had to keep reading:

Virtually everyone at the hearing supported the idea of a national space council or some other type of clearinghouse to oversee the effort, and stressed the need for strong White House support and also youth appeal.

Augustine, for one, said he is worried about NASA's graying work force. Back during the Apollo program, when NASA was sending men to the moon, the control center was filled with "a bunch of kids," he said.

"They looked like Silicon Valley did a few years ago: young, innovative, imaginative, creative people. They weren't people of my generation, for sure," the 68-year-old Augustine said, tapping his chest. "One can argue whether that's good or whether it's bad, but it sure served Apollo well."

"Youth appeal?" What the hell are they talking about? Kids haven't been inspired to explore space since Apollo? What the hell is wrong with these guys? Coming from someone in the space industry that was born after Apollo, I can say that the biggest hurdle in my way in NASA bureaucracy are these fucking grey-beards that won't fucking leave. They may quit NASA, but then get a golden parachute with a contractor so they can ride out two pensions, generally to do nothing. Lack of young people isn't the problem. If anything, it's too many hangers on from the 70s that don't have anything better to do.

The space program, and dare I say, NASA is just as American as baseball and apple pie. Actually, more so than either of the two previous examples, because no one watches baseball anymore, and everyone is on Atkins. But the Space Program is different. The Russians have their launches, the Europeans launch unmanned rockets from South America, and now China is in the game. But no one can compare to our past endevours. No one else has walked on another planet, and even low earth orbit has become a prized accomplishment lately, even among spacefaring nations.

It may not mean much in your day-to-day life (then again, it just might), but it's a mighty big feather in our national cap, and we all get to wear it, whenever we want.

I'd love to see someone show me where $15 Billion of our enormous national budget can buy something that no one else on the planet is capable of.

Posted 2/11/2004 08:31:00 PM by Douglas

The ancient, mystical art of distilling spirits. Used to, the government cared about this kind of thing. Now they've got bigger fish to fry. And now, my 100%, all time, favourite movie line, from The Mosquito Coast:

"It's not a miracle, it's thermodynamics!"

Amen to that one, brother!

Posted 2/11/2004 08:21:00 PM by Douglas

Man, what a bitch:

This cracks me up. First off, she's making out with a dog. How can you not like that, knowing that he licked his nuts no less than 10 minutes ago? You can't.

Also, it took me about 13 nanoseconds before I thought of Best in Show. And that woman looks surpassingly like Jane Lynch's character from that movie.

Posted 2/11/2004 08:18:00 PM by Douglas

Why in the world is the Department of Education responsible for closed captioning of TV shows, anyway? First off, this isn't censorship. Saying that it's censorship because people that can't hear the dialog is like saying it's censorship because people don't want to hear the dialog. But that's hardly the issue:

The government is refusing to caption Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie, apparently fearing that the deaf would fall prey to witchcraft if they viewed the classic sitcoms.

Why is this the government's responsibility? If Friends is captioned, it's probably at the cost of its advertisers. But to say all old sitcoms have to be made accessible to everyone, well, that's as absurd as the handicapped parking spot and the wheelchair ramp at the roller rink.

But. . .

Look at the list of stuff they don't want to take the time to caption:

• Bewitched
• I Dream of Jeannie
• Law & Order
• Power Rangers
• Sanford and Son
• Judge Wapner's Animal Court
• The Loretta Young Show
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

As absurd as this may seem, I'm sure it's an impact to people with limited hearing. And the short end of all this is that there's some water-cooler dictator that decides that they're going to devote resources to captioning Scooby Doo, but not Ninja Turtles. Wouldn't you have loved to sit in on that meeting?

Did we learn nothing from first grade?!? If you bring treats, in this case, federal funds for closed captioning of TV shows, you have to have enough for everyone.

Posted 2/09/2004 09:30:00 PM by Douglas

The International Space Station is being invaded. Well, no,but why is there no mention of this in the American media?

"The object is harmless. It poses no danger to the station or its crewmembers. Specialists are now trying to find out the origin of the object," NASA spokesman Sergei Puzanov told Interfax.

Uh, harmless? I'm sure no one needs people blowing this out of proportion, but just about a year ago, some big-wigs thought foam hitting the RCC on the WLE was harmless. Forgive me if "debris floating outside the vehicle" is prematurely dismissed as benign.

Posted 2/09/2004 09:02:00 PM by Douglas

When you leave town for a few months, or if you slip the surly bonds of Earth, it's good to leave a forwarding address.

"You wouldn't believe how much mail and e-mail piled up," he continued. In the first week he had more than 3,300 e-mails from associates and friends, he said. "No junk at all."

He said he's had too much to do, "trying to get all my bills caught up," to think about another space mission soon.

Here's a guy that needs bank draft payment of his bills.

You'd think an astronaut would have direct deposit, and not have his pay in a coffee can in the back yard.

Posted 2/09/2004 09:00:00 PM by Douglas

Don't go to Wal-Mart in 4 in the morning, to buy bolt cutters, if you are wearing handcuffs.

Posted 2/09/2004 05:43:00 PM by Douglas

What a shocker! Afghanistan is now producing more heroin:

Nato is turning a blind eye to the flourishing opium trade in Afghanistan to ensure the support of warlords in the struggle to maintain security in the country, Russia's defence minister has claimed.

Sergei Ivanov said Afghanistan was now producing nine times the quantity of drugs it did under the Taliban.

"It is understandable that by allowing drug peddling in Afghanistan, the [Nato] alliance ensures loyalty of warlords on the ground and of some Afghan leaders," he said.

Now that's a lot of heroin. Why can't the embrace democracy and open up a Starbuck's or something?

Posted 2/09/2004 05:42:00 PM by Douglas

Boeing had a chicken gun for sale and I wasn't notified? Man, I've got to make it to this place.

Posted 2/09/2004 05:39:00 PM by Douglas

Now here's a drunk with a vision.

My suggestion for a proven diet in 2004 that’s been effective throughout the ages is what I like to affectionately call “Dick’s Bud Light Diet Plan.”

At least get a good beer.

Posted 2/09/2004 05:28:00 PM by Douglas

More news on the bridge.

Posted 2/08/2004 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

The people have spoken and they wanted more taxes. I'm a bit surprised at the margin. 64% to 36% on a bond package that was voted down last year? Sounds fishy to me, but not at all surprising. Actually, I was more surprised it got voted down last time.

"We were responsive to the community and the bond package was focused on classroom and instructional needs," she said. [emphasis added]

It's good to see that this dedicated educator hasn't lost her senses of humor. Let's recap, shall we:

• Clear Creek High School (new band hall and new dance, scene and theater studio)
• Clear Brook High School (new dance studio and new gymnasium)
• New agricultural facility (to serve Clear Brook and Clear Lake high schools)
• Gymnasiums at elementary schools (Armand Bayou, Clear Lake City, Greene, Hall, Landolt, Ross, Whitcomb and White)
• Scoreboards
• Bleachers
• New tennis courts at intermediate schools (12)
• Upgrade athletic facilities (26)
• Outdoor athletic storage buildings (12)

I'm glad these kids are going to have new gyms, tennis courts, outdoor athletic storage buildings, and bleachers to enrich their classroom environment.

Posted 2/07/2004 01:43:00 PM by Douglas

Wal-Mart and NASCAR together at last.

Posted 2/07/2004 01:26:00 PM by Douglas

Say what you will about gun-toting Texans, here's one burglar that received countless years of rehabilitation in one second:

"I was trying to sic the dogs on him and that didn't work," Carr said. "So I got my weapon."

He fetched a .32-caliber, semi-automatic pistol from his house and returned to the office, where he saw a man loaded up with stolen mobile phones, a video camera and chargers, Carr said.

He advised the intruder not to move, but the man attacked him, said Carr, who fired one shot into the man's lower torso. The injured man was on the floor and Carr's wife was calling 911 when "this turkey gets up and runs," Carr said.

So there ya go. If you're going to break in to someone's business, don't attack them when they confront you.

Posted 2/06/2004 10:43:00 PM by Douglas

Just like the turning of the leaves every year, it's bond time here again in CCISD.

A $337 million bond package that included a multipurpose stadium and a warehouse failed last May. Addressing concerns from opponents, the Bond Advisory Committee recommended trimming these and other items.

The slimmed-down package, supporters say, focuses strictly on classroom instruction and seeks to provide immediate relief to a school district that is getting an average of 1,000 new students per year.

So the poor, deprived children of the district aren't getting a $20 million high school stadium, but is there some reason to think that this reduced version, which still totals more than a quarter Billion dollars, is going to benefit the education of the children in the area? Look where the money is going (or look here at a previous rant):

• New schools — $118,899,216
• Campus additions — $27,564,860
• Instructional resources — $24,622,242
• Land acquisitions — $29,063,420
• Capital improvements — $63,523,348

Let's forget for a second that State law prohibits using bond money for general maintenance, and CCISD has earmarked "Capital Improvements" for what most consider general maintenance (they want to fix a leaking roof.) Look at the numbers for a second. $120 million for new schools, $29 million for land, $28 million for campus additions. Pretty soon you're going to start talking about real money here.

This isn't coming from some nebulous magic pot of money in Washington. It's coming out of my pocket.

There's not a chance in hell that this bond is going to get defeated. After all, it's for the children.

Vote early, and vote often!

Posted 2/06/2004 09:21:00 PM by Douglas

Ok, this is stupid. And you thought your HMO was wielding an insane amount of power over your health care:

About 40 people gathered outside an Eckerd store Monday, protesting what they said was a decision to deny a rape victim a prescription for the morning-after pill.

Let's forget for a second that the particular prescription might have some polarizing effects on the public. The day that the decision is made by the idiot behind the counter at the drug store is the day I come back with a flame thrower. And that goes for everything from jock-itch cream to whether or not I want double prints at the photo-lab.

Posted 2/06/2004 09:10:00 PM by Douglas

Surely by now people know that if they're cruising around with 23 dogs, 3 cats, and a chicken in your van, you're going to make the news:

Oddly enough, I can muster plenty of sympathy for the people that have to clean up this mess, and even for the animals themselves. But not for the guy that owns the van. Why is that?

Posted 2/06/2004 09:08:00 PM by Douglas

The bridge might have a few more years left in her yet

On Thursday, the National Trust for Historic Preservation awarded a grant to Historic Wellington Inc. to hire experts to examine the old bridge, which spans the Salt Fork of the Red River in Collingsworth County.

A car occupied by Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker landed in the river in 1933, and the outlaws held a local family hostage.

The three-span bridge, built in 1939 as part of a federal works program, stands near the former location of the wooden bridge where they took their plunge.

Odd that the Bonnie & Clyde episode is mentioned in association with the bridge, since it wasn't even there when they got stuck in the sand of the Salt Fork of the Red River. Some would even say that the lack of the bridge is why they got stuck in the sand. But what do I know?

It sure would be a shame to see it go. I'd hate to be the last person to cross it, but I'd hate to be the last person to cross it because it fell out from under me, too.

Posted 2/05/2004 09:32:00 PM by Douglas

Why does anyone care what Patrick Stewart thinks?

"As I get older my unease at the time and the money that has to be spent on projects putting human beings back to the moon, and on to another planet, is so enormous," he said.

"And it would take up so many resources, which I personally feel should be directed at our own planet."

Interviewed by the World Update programme, he added: "Humankind has just not simply become sufficiently evolved to now leave this planet, take itself out to space and began establishing more of us out there.

"I would like to see us get this place right first before we have the arrogance to put significantly flawed civilisations out on to other planets - even though they may be utterly uninhabited."

Obviously, this statement is getting press because it's so ironic. An actor whose claim to fame is the commander of a space ship saying that space travel isn't worth it. But it's his justification that I find interesting. He wants to "get this place right first" before we continue to space? Where would he like to start? How 'bout idiot actors that think they have all the answers.

Posted 2/05/2004 09:18:00 PM by Douglas

What exactly is psychological incompatibility?

The crew lined up for the next flight to the international space station in April will be changed after cosmonaut Valery Tokarev and U.S. astronaut Leroy Chiao developed "a psychological incompatibility" during training, Russian space officials said Wednesday.

Chiao had been preparing with Tokarev at the Gagarin Cosmonaut Training Center in Star City outside Moscow, but the two didn't hit it off, a Russian Aviation and Space Agency official said by telephone Tuesday.

Sounds like someone's not getting along. I guess low earth orbit isn't a good place to have it out with your coworker.

Posted 2/04/2004 08:26:00 PM by Douglas

President Bush's military records, from his days in the Texas Air National Guard for anyone that's interested.

Posted 2/04/2004 08:23:00 PM by Douglas

It's just heartbreaking to read about the horrible lives of oppression some people must endure. Take, for example, Tanisha Torres. When she pays her cell phone bill, the folks at Radio Shack put the wrong town's name for her home address. A human being can just take so much of that sort of tyranny, so what's she going to do about it? Sue Radio Shack, of course:

She brought the receipts to attorney Andrew Siben, of Bay Shore, who filed suit this week against the store in State Supreme Court in Riverhead.

Torres' suit claims Radio Shack was negligent and reckless in its operation and maintenance of the store and the receipt system, and in the hiring, supervision and monitoring of employees. It asks for unspecified damages to compensate Torres for being "embarrassed, flustered and shamed" and for suffering emotional distress and mental anguish.

I would like to personally thank Ms. Torres for taking a stand against this unspeakable evil. She's risking grave repercussions, but her victory in this endeavour will be a victory for all mankind.

Just kidding. This pathetic bag of guts is a waste of oxygen, and if this were a just universe, she'd be forced to repay all court costs associated with this madness. Mr. Siben, the attorney that looked at this case and ran with it, would be publicly flogged.

Posted 2/04/2004 08:14:00 PM by Douglas

And now for the other boob at the half-time show. Seems like some veterans aren't happy with Kid Rock wearing the flag like a poncho.

The VFW's commander in chief, Edward Banas Senior, says Rock's outfit was "in poor taste and extremely disrespectful." Banas lamented that the NFL, MTV and CBS have issued apologies for Justin Timberlake ripping Janet Jackson's clothes but have said nothing about Rock.

Oh well. Obviously this isn't going to get the ink that Janet got, but at least someone mentioned it.

Posted 2/04/2004 08:05:00 PM by Douglas

Finally! The WMD have been found!

The potentially lethal compound was located in what was believed to be the safe house of Abu Musab Zarqawi, a poisons specialist described by some U.S. intelligence officials as having been a key link between deposed Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein and the Al Qaeda terror network.

Wow, the bonus plan! Not only did some WMD turn up, although I'm not sure is seven pounds constitutes "Mass" in WMD, but they can also tie Saddam to Al Qaeda.

I was afraid that we were going to get to the one year point of the occupation and not have a reason turn up yet. Thanks, FoxNews, for setting the record straight.

Posted 2/03/2004 11:06:00 PM by Douglas

This nipple picture is going to go away, but hey, I had to link it:

Posted 2/03/2004 05:20:00 PM by Douglas

I have to apologize for keeping this thread going, but this article about the infamous half-time boobie is pretty durn good:

If the Super Bowl half-time show was offensive and unsuitable for family viewing, I blame Paul Tagliabue and his fellow marketing executives at the NFL. It was their show, start to finish.

Maybe now we'll finally grasp the fact that the league is just another mass entertainment company, the Viacom of sports.

Well, duh. It's not just chronic gamblers that watch professional sports. People are entertained by these children's games, and are willing to pony up Billions of dollars (and that's just in Houston) for their playgrounds. But let's get back to the boobie:

Exactly what did the league expect when it rented the MTV culture?

What do they take us for? But whether you were offended by Kid Rock's shredded American flag shirt, or Nelly grabbing his crotch at every opportunity, or Timberlake's bump and grind with Jackson, the point was obvious: Let's commandeer the audience of a hundred million for ourselves.

Well, that's a bit obvious, too. Anyone who doesn't realize it's all about ratings is either delusional or stupid. Everyone associated with the production, from the NFL to MTV, knew what was going on and at some point, signed off on it.

The league didn't suddenly develop amnesia about MTV. Timberlake and Jackson merely sent the lumber downstream, gave the NFL and its network partners what they were asking for -- only they gave them too much of it.

This is what I don't get. OK, you want to bill the Stupor Bowl as a family show, so you don't really want boobies popping all the way out in front of the children, but no one bats an eye at scantily clad women selling cars, beer, and computers, jumping around on the sideline, or Mike Ditka selling boner pills. Hell, parents wouldn't think twice about taking their kids by Hooter's for some wings on the way home from the game. So why on earth is this such a big deal? Dozens of partial boobies go totally unnoticed (yeah, right), yet one boobie is an unspeakable lapse in decency? We're talking just one freakin' boobie here! Not even a full set!

Good for Jackson and Timberlake for putting a breast smack in the middle of things: The NFL finally got a little payback for its manipulations. That's what the FCC investigation, and your own common sense, should conclude.

So now CBS is going to blame MTV, and vice versa. Know what that sounds like? Watch COPS for about ten minutes and you'll see the obligatory prostitution sting go down. The John (CBS) claims he didn't know anything about the prostitute, and the whore (MTV) claims he was just giving her a ride home from work.

But they both get used, and neither one of them care.

I'd like to thank the whore and the John for finally giving us the Stupor Bowl half-time show this country truly deserves. Next year? Something with interracial midgets.

UPDATE: Just got this from Dad:

I was more offended by seeing the American Flag used as a poncho by the male singer than I was by mis-seeing Janet's silicone injected mammary gland.

Amen to that. I was a bit more troubled with Nelly's performance where he spend four minutes grabbing his crank like a savant with the clap, but I'm a bit old fashioned. But this brings up another issue. Men are not troubled with exposed breasts: women are. Men like breasts. Again I say, what's the problem?

Posted 2/03/2004 04:52:00 PM by Douglas

Would the government bend the truth to justify a war? The magic 8-ball says decidedly so:

Iraq is only the latest episode in a century long series of misinterpreted, misunderstood, misapplied, suppressed, and flat-out incorrect intelligence that has led the United States into war.

The Spanish-American War has to be my personal favourite. It wasn't until 1976 that it revealed that it was a boiler that blew up the U.S.S Maine and not a Spanish mine, but the real keeper from the even was William Randolph Hearst's quote, "you bring me the photographs, and I'll give you your war."

The first casualty of war is irony.

Posted 2/02/2004 06:44:00 PM by Douglas

From CNN: Bush to pick panel for WMD inquiry

Finally!! After all that compelling intel from last year at this time, to the 10 solid months of occupation of another nation, it's good to see that he's finally getting down to some of the brass tacks of finding the justification for his war.

"We also want to look at our war against proliferation and weapons of mass destruction in a broader context," Bush said. "So I'm putting together an independent, bipartisan commission to analyze where we stand, what we can do better as we fight this war against terror."

Whew! And I was worried that we'd have to find some reason for our next invasion. Just as long as they get it in before the next one starts.

Posted 2/02/2004 06:43:00 PM by Douglas

What the hell is wrong with the folks in Nebraska? Pennsylvania pretty much has the rodent/shadow weather forecasting thing sowed up, but that doesn't keep some of 'em from trying.

If you can trust a human disguised as a groundhog, then the Nebraska region's snowy weather and subzero temperatures will come to an end in about six weeks.

I wouldn't trust a human in a groundhog costume to pump my gas.

Posted 2/02/2004 06:36:00 PM by Douglas

As a professional journalist, how do you get an assignment from The Houston Chronicle to review the area's strip clubs? You know these guys' mothers are saving a scrap book of their by-lines. How proud they must be to see their prodigal son review Rick's and determine, through a thoughtful evaluation process that utilized their intense training they received with their journalism degrees, that Peaches is the best blonde stripper, and Jenna is the best brunette.

Although most guys would really like to be able to go to a strip club and have their company pick up the bill.

Posted 2/02/2004 06:26:00 PM by Douglas

Advertising, aimed at Adolescent males, and during the Super Bowl, no less. I'm shocked. Shocked I tell ya! I didn't think the collective maturity of Stupor Bowl viewers had hit puberty yet. . .

Posted 2/02/2004 12:33:00 AM by Douglas

What does Wal-Mart do when it's one store isn't doing enough to 86 its local competition? Hey, how 'bout building two more stores?Whatever works:

The two stores would be located on the opposite sides of Grand Island. The south store would be located at the southeast corner of Highway 34 and South Locust Street, the north store is planned on land just north of Sam's Club near the existing Wal-Mart along the Highway 281 corridor.

Wal-Mart. The model of American capitalism, or the scourge of the community? Currently too close to call.

Posted 2/01/2004 09:15:00 PM by Douglas

Beer. Is there anything it can't do? I don't think so.

'Individual beer consumption trends have shown a decline since the early 1980s, a clear sign of successful public policies and private sector initiatives encouraging moderation,'' reports the Beer Institute.

Damn them! Damn them all to hell, at the Beer Institute!!! A pox upon the heresy they are spewing!

Posted 2/01/2004 01:36:00 AM by Douglas

The next job that goes to India could be yours. (Also, check out the links mentioned in the article, here and here.)

Posted 2/01/2004 12:53:00 AM by Douglas

What the hell is a vexillologist, Anyway? This is from 2 years ago, but it still raises an interesting point: Why did half of the states give up when creating a state flag and simply paste their State Seal on a blue field and call it a flag, like Nebraska did?

Schimek gave the committee members a color printout of some U.S. and Canadian flags. Almost half of the 50 states' flags have blue backgrounds with a seal in the middle - as Nebraska's does.

"You will notice if you look carefully a good many of these flags look alike," Schimek said.

Flags that are simple stand out, Schimek said.

"Like the Texas flag - it's very obvious," she said. "They're fairly simplistic in design, most of them that you remember."

The flag is only one of the many nightmares people in Nebraska wake up to each and every day, so is it any wonder they have some Texas envy?