Posted 4/28/2005 05:49:00 PM by Douglas

Not good when your pilot gets hit in the eye with a laser on final approach.

The co-pilot of a Delta Air Lines flight suffered eye injuries when a laser interfered with a commercial flight approaching Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport, the Federal Aviation Administration said Wednesday.

The pilot, whose name wasn't released, was taken for medical treatment after the Tuesday night incident.

Delta Flight 476 from Salt Lake City landed safely.

The FBI is investigating the laser incident, which occurred six miles southwest of the airport at about 9,000 feet.

Sounds like D/FW needs to divert their approach traffic around the gay bars.

Posted 4/28/2005 05:41:00 PM by Douglas

Now that the Mint knows that stupid people hoard coins, they're set to make another stab at the dollar coin.

On Wednesday, the House of Representatives passed a bill to create a new $1 coin, which would accompany the current Sacagawea piece. The measure enjoyed enormous bipartisan support, passing by a vote of 422 to 6.

Assuming a companion bill makes it through the Senate, the nation would be on its way to taking another stab at a dollar coin.

Supporters realize that the dollar coin is the Rodney Dangerfield of American money. So they make clear that any new coin would augment -- not replace -- paper currency.

In fact, although the coins would enter into general circulation, their biggest selling point is that people might hoard them.

Honestly, I don't know why the dollar coin isn't more successful. It can't all be the obscure, PC figures they chose to grace their obverse, but yet both of the last attempts have been miserable failures. But now, the Mint has tipped their hand to show why there's a much bigger incentive to produce money that people are going to willingly take out of circulation.

After the 50 State series launched in the late 1990s, the government discovered that an astonishing number of people were collecting each new quarter as it rolled out of the U.S. Mint, taking the pieces out of circulation.

It costs the Mint less than five cents for each 25-cent piece it produces. So in a process called seigniorage, the government makes money whenever someone "buys" a coin then chooses not to spend it.

The Treasury estimates that it has earned about $5 billion in seigniorage profits from the quarters so far.

$5 billion, for convincing people to take absolutely worthless metal and put it in a shoebox. That's pure genius!

Labels: seigniorage

Posted 4/28/2005 05:36:00 PM by Douglas

DAMN!

NASA plans to delay the launch of space shuttle Discovery, the first shuttle set to fly since the 2003 Columbia accident, from May until July, an official familiar with NASA's timetable said on Thursday.

The postponement marked a setback in the U.S. space agency's efforts to return the shuttle fleet to flight after grounding it more than two years ago following the Columbia disaster. All seven astronauts on board died when the spacecraft disintegrated over Texas on Feb. 1, 2003.

We ever gonna fly that thing again? It's never going to be as safe as the 4:45 to Cleveland, so let's cease with the hand wringing and light that sucker.

Posted 4/28/2005 05:31:00 PM by Douglas

This just might be the sickest thing I've seen in my relatively short life [via]

Protect our troops - from the womb to the war. What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship?

Plastic replica of an 11-12 week old fetus, 3" long, holding a firearm in its precious little hand, with an assortment of other military paraphernalia, encased in a translucent plastic ornament, with a patriotic yellow ribbon on top. Includes a metal ornament hanger. If only a womb were this safe, attractive and reasonably priced!

Show that you support the "culture of life" by buying and proudly displaying one of these patriotic unborn Americans.

What, if any, is the message here? Some suggestions:

• Don't have an abortion: the Army needs the enlistment
• Guns don't kill people: fetuses do

Does this mean we're going to see yellow magnetic ribbons on the back of SUVs that say "My fetus is proudly serving in the U.S. Army?

What the hell is wrong with these people?

Posted 4/28/2005 05:26:00 PM by Douglas

Is your ring finger longer than your index finger? I seem to recall reading about this years ago as a test for being gay. Men's ring fingers are longer than their index fingers, and women have longer index fingers. So having an index finger longer than your ring finger would make you inclined to buy Madonna albums, whereas a longer ring finger would predispose you to 4-wheel drive pickups and rugby. Or at least that was the theory. Apparently, it's got something to do with the amount of prenatal testosterone you receive, and of course, all sorts of wacky things are trying to be extrapolated from this:

A University of Alberta study finds that measuring a man's index finger length relative to his ring finger length predicts his predisposition to being physically aggressive.

The shorter the index finger relative to the ring finger, the higher the amount of prenatal testosterone and the more likely the man will be physically aggressive, the researchers say.

In a prepared statement, study co-author Dr. Peter Hurd admitted he initially thought the finger-aggression link was "a pile of hooey," until he reviewed the data.

Well there ya have it. Interesting anthropological study, or 'total hooey.' But from my own limited data set, all the men I surveyed had longer ring fingers, while the women were mixed. The OAs and finance women had longer index fingers, while all the female engineers had longer ring fingers. For some reason, I find this interesting. If only I could get a million dollars from the government to study this, I could come up with my own meaningless conclusions.

Posted 4/28/2005 05:21:00 PM by Douglas

If you have an hour to kill and it's not totally obvious what a spoiled American you are, check out this riveting photo journal from Kiev. Of course, brought to you by the same woman that photographed the ruins of Chernobyl.

To quote Dr. Seuss, "Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?"

Posted 4/28/2005 05:13:00 PM by Douglas

How do you get the balls to press charges for this?

The woman was sentenced to nine months in prison and ordered to pay NOK 40,000 (USD 6,385) to the man.

The incident occurred on Jan. 4 last year in a Bergen apartment. The man testified that he fell asleep on a sofa and woke up to find the woman performing oral sex on him.

Poor guy. I sure hope he finds some therapy.

Posted 4/27/2005 05:32:00 PM by Douglas

Forget about the ISS, we need to see this implemented at JSC

Russian cosmonaut Salizhan Sharipov, just back from space, said that alcohol should be allowed on the International Space Station as it helps to cope with stress and enhances performance, the RIA-Novosti news agency reports.

Sharipov was speaking at the first news conference organized after he, U.S. astronaut Leroy Chiao and Italian astronaut Roberto Vittori successfully completed their mission on the ISS on Monday. The Russian cosmonaut said that it would be “desirable” for spacemen to have 50 milliliters of wine or cognac every day. “But only to improve our work, to better cope with the psychological stress,” Sharipov said.

Yeah, it would "improve my work", too.

Posted 4/27/2005 05:26:00 PM by Douglas

Looks like this monstrosity finally got off the ground.

BLAGNAC, France - Cheered by tens of thousands of onlookers, the world's largest jetliner touched down Wednesday with puffs of smoke from its 22 outsize wheels, ending the historic maiden flight for a plane that Airbus hopes will carry it to market dominance.

The A380's four-hour sortie past the snowcapped Pyrenees removed any doubt that the behemoth capable of carrying as many as 840 passengers is airworthy. But it did little to convince skeptics, led by U.S. rival Boeing Co., that the plane will prove profitable.

But they still got to fill it up, and I can't imagine anyone that would be excited about getting in the damn thing. Anyone that's not a terrorist, that is.

Posted 4/27/2005 05:05:00 PM by Douglas

So maybe I'm not the only person in the world that finds this a bit disturbing, but geez, George. Customs are one thing, but you're in Texas for God's sake?!?

Oh well, it's not like they were making out, is it?

Michael Moore, call your office.

Posted 4/26/2005 05:25:00 PM by Douglas

Why the hell am I using The New York Times for information about the space program? Specifically, what to drink at The Outpost? I have no idea. But here's an interesting piece form The Times about space travel, Houston, and getting a beer after life on-orbit.

I guess I don't have much to add to this one. B'cept, what does it take to make a rocket scientist?"

Bryan Kundrat, a fourth-grader from Cypress, Tex., thought the demonstrations were "pretty cool," but he hesitated when asked if he wanted to be an astronaut. "I don't want to blow up," he said as his father, Ed, an engineer, groaned in dismay.

Does anyone really want to blow up? I think not. Anyhoo. . . .Cris Kraft, bring it home for us:

But he added: "Are the people smarter today? Of course they are. They are better engineers than we ever were."

Damn, I hope so. These guys don't seem to think so, but what the hell do they know? All I know is I'm not supposed to talk to the press because of this article.

Posted 4/25/2005 05:23:00 PM by Douglas

Enjoy your catastrophe, ya bunch of socialists

European aircraft maker Airbus has scheduled the maiden flight of its giant A380 jumbo jet, the world's largest passenger plane, for Wednesday.

The first flight of the twin-deck aircraft has been keenly anticipated since it was unveiled at a glamorous and high profile ceremony in January.

Airbus has invested heavily in the A380 and hopes it will defend its position as the leading passenger plane maker.

Remember when you were trying to get out of the airplane last time you flew and that annoying person couldn't get their bag out of the overhead bin? Now imagine there are 579 of those people in front of you. Enjoy your flight.

But at least they're fiscally responsible, right?

In December 2004, Airbus owner EADS revealed that the project was £1bn (1.5bn euros; $1.9bn) over budget, at more than £8.4bn.

Not $1.9 Billion, but $1.9 Billion over budget. Geesh, that could almost buy another B-2. But just one.

Posted 4/25/2005 05:14:00 PM by Douglas

A gram is one cubic centimeter of dihydrogen monoxide, at 4ºC. What the hell is wrong with these people?

This is because all high-precision scales around the world are traceable to the plum-sized cylinder of metal - "The Kilogram" - at the Bureau International des Poids et Mesures (BIPM). Other countries bring their standards to Paris to compare - something the U.S. has done three times since the inception of the international standard in 1889.

But in a recent article in the journal Metrologia, Mohr and his co-authors say these trips can be made unnecessary by defining mass in terms of a natural phenomenon.

The kilogram is the only basic unit of the international measurement system still defined by a physical artifact.

The freakin' metric system. Sure it's base 10, but the only thing worse brought to us by the French Revolution was the guillotine.

Posted 4/24/2005 04:45:00 PM by Douglas

And now, because I'm afraid of losing my status as a blogger if I don't, here's a picture of our new cat, Lola.

As you can see, she's tabby with a white chest and an orange stomach. She's 100% batshit crazy.

Posted 4/24/2005 04:40:00 PM by Douglas

Here's a mildly entertaining article about driving in Houston, from The London Telegraph, of all places. And while just about every point is true for driving anywhere in the country, one thing's for sure: he's defiantly been to Houston.

It is essential to adopt the appropriate driving posture to fit in with other truck users. This entails leaning against the driver's door, with the left wrist draped limply on top of the steering wheel with the free hand placed firmly against the headrest of the passenger seat. On Houston's road this pose is thought of as highly macho.

I'm not so sure about this one. I don't think you can pull off this posture without a big Stetson.

A few more general tips and observations on driving here may also be of interest. Above all you must realise that while you are in the vehicle, driving is only a minor consideration and should not detract from shaving, applying make-up, doing one's hair, reading the morning papers, making telephone calls, having breakfast or even enjoying a light lunch.

How very true, but again, not unique to Houston. I read once where German car makers were appalled at the notion of putting drink holders into the cars they export to America. The notion of something as benign as having a drink wile driving is completely foreign to them. Imagine how German engineers would think about our driver's side make-up mirror in the visor?

One final observation: Houston has a well documented history of flooding. Despite numerous signs, flashing lights, depth gauges and the very occasional police presence, there are always people who are really curious to find out whether or not their car will float. Initially, for the record, it will. Eventually it will not.

Yeah, ain't it cool? There's a word for this: It's called natural selection. I was actually dumb enough to drive into water that started coming in from under the door, and that was scary enough. Most people here (at least the ones that have taken defensive driving) know it takes less than two feet of water to carry off most cars. That's not much, but as my dad always said, you can't tell how deep the water is from lookin' at the top.

Posted 4/24/2005 04:31:00 PM by Douglas

While we're on the subject, here's a truly fascinating article about SUVs and the unapparent safety trade-off of those that drive them. It's long, but worth the read. Highlights:

But that's the puzzle of what has happened to the automobile world: feeling safe has become more important than actually being safe.

The truth, underneath all the rationalizations, seemed to be that S.U.V. buyers thought of big, heavy vehicles as safe: they found comfort in being surrounded by so much rubber and steel. To the engineers, of course, that didn't make any sense, either: if consumers really wanted something that was big and heavy and comforting, they ought to buy minivans, since minivans, with their unit-body construction, do much better in accidents than S.U.V.s.

Well, duh. Not even considering the percentage of drivers that haven't taken a basic physics class, but isn't kind obvious that it's going to take longer to stop a Suburban and it does a Civic?

Most of us think that S.U.V.s are much safer than sports cars. If you asked the young parents of America whether they would rather strap their infant child in the back seat of the TrailBlazer or the passenger seat of the Boxster, they would choose the TrailBlazer. We feel that way because in the TrailBlazer our chances of surviving a collision with a hypothetical tractor-trailer in the other lane are greater than they are in the Porsche. What we forget, though, is that in the TrailBlazer you're also much more likely to hit the tractor-trailer because you can't get out of the way in time. In the parlance of the automobile world, the TrailBlazer is better at "passive safety." The Boxster is better when it comes to "active safety," which is every bit as important.

"Learned Helplessness," which the article addresses, is a fascinating approach to looking at the boom in SUV sales, and it reinforces the notion in this country that it's much more important to appear to be solving the problem than it is to actually solve the problem. It doesn't matter if the Accord is actually safer for your children, if you don't put Katlin and Dakota in an SUV, you're not doing all you can to protect them. Even if that notion is 100% wrong. So who is buying the SUVs?

According to Bradsher, internal industry market research concluded that S.U.V.s tend to be bought by people who are insecure, vain, self-centered, and self-absorbed, who are frequently nervous about their marriages, and who lack confidence in their driving skills.

Ah yes, the core Volvo drivers. People that want to buy a "safe car" as a public apology for never having learned how do drive the damn thing in the first place. But what else does the SUV say about the person that drives it?

An S.U.V. embodies the opposite logic. The driver is seated as high and far from the road as possible. The vehicle is designed to overcome its environment, not to respond to it. Even four-wheel drive, seemingly the most beneficial feature of the S.U.V., serves to reinforce this isolation.

For years, we've all made fun of the middle-aged man who suddenly trades in his sedate family sedan for a shiny red sports car. That's called a midlife crisis. But at least it involves some degree of engagement with the act of driving. The man who gives up his sedate family sedan for an S.U.V. is saying something far more troubling--that he finds the demands of the road to be overwhelming. Is acting out really worse than giving up?

SUVs aren't evil. They're inanimate objects that are, the last time I checked, morally neutral. Aside from being the only cars produced today that you can fit comfortably in if you're more than one standard deviation away from the norm, there's just no point in them. if commuting in a 5,000 pound SUV when gas is over $2.00 a gallon isn't going to get people out of their SUVs, nothing will. It's yet another sad footnote to our society. I blame advertising.

Posted 4/24/2005 03:40:00 PM by Douglas

For some reason, I'm interested that there are so many Miss America stories populating yahoo. That's the only explanation I can think of for my attention to such issues. Yet here we go again, with Miss America being forced to get some ratings, or get out.

But Miss America's in for an extreme makeover.

Dropped by two networks as a ratings loser, the pageant is desperately in need of a lifeline of its own, apparently ready to shuck its squeaky-clean demeanor in favor of the snarky negativity that fuels reality TV.

The pageant has reluctantly embraced the craze in recent years, tweaking its age-old formula by adding a pop quiz, curtailing the talent competition and interviewing contestants backstage — to no avail.

There is more urgency now, though. Cast off by ABC after a record-low 9.8 million people tuned in for last September's pageant, Miss America is without a TV outlet for the first time in 50 years and is facing the prospect of having no pageant at all in 2005.

Paula Shugart, president of the Miss Universe Organization, said Miss America has suffered because its contestants have become too polished for viewers to relate to.

Am I the only one that's not going to shed a tear if this crap isn't on TV once a year? Other than the contestant's mothers, of course. The contestants aren't interesting, hell, they're not even pretty and they're sure as hell not talented. So the big question here is, who cares?

Whether the pageant is ready to resort to "Fear Factor"-inspired gross-outs, "Survivor"-style conniving or week-to-week eliminations a la "American Idol" remains to be seen. If the fates of rival Miss USA are any indication, though, future contestants may need strong stomachs more than singing ability.

In a "Fear Factor Miss USA" that aired before the Miss USA pageant earlier this month, five bikini-wearing contestants had 55-gallon drums of live worms, fish and fish oil dumped on them during one stunt.

Is that the future of Miss America?

"Oh, God, I hope not," said Bob Arnhym, who runs the Miss California Scholarship Pageant.

"Scholarship" Pageant? Gotta love the PC spin they put on it. Otherwise it's just a bunch of vapid bottle-blondes with duct tape on their ass and Vaseline on their teeth, right? Oh, right, it's about the scholarship. I forgot. But what about the glory years?

At its peak, more than 80 million viewers tuned in to watch Bert Parks crown some small-town unknown and send her down the runway in Convention Hall. But that was before the communications revolution put cable TV, Internet porn and catty reality shows in everyone's homes.

There are just too many outlets today where your average viewer can see stupid women doing stupid things on TV. The fact that the brass at Pageant H.Q. don't realize this shows it's their inability to cope with modern trends that's driving their organization into the ground, because there has never been a shortage of young, hot, dumb chicks that want to get on TV. Those high-heels are always easy to fill.

Posted 4/23/2005 11:47:00 AM by Douglas

What do you do when a business overcharges you just for using a credit card? You sue, of course.

Two men who sued more than a half-dozen strip clubs because of extra fees charged for lap dances got some good news from a Houston appeals court.

But that could be bad news for other lap-dance fans, who may want their appreciation for that art form kept confidential.

A three-judge panel of the 14th Texas Court of Appeals ruled Thursday that Paul Brian Meekey and Michael Fulmer should be allowed to sue over surcharges for credit card use.

How exactly do you pay for a lap dance with a credit card? Where do you swipe the card?

A lawyer for Meekey and Fulmer said the lawsuit may be made a class-action.

That could mean notifying a lot of other men who used credit cards to pay for lap dances in recent years.

And that might not go over very well in some households.

Yeah, that's going to go over real well when their wives find out about the class action. The good news: getting $50 back from a class action. The bad news: your wife finding out you bought ten lap dances the weekend she was visiting her sister.

"Since the dancers are independent contractors and not employees of the club, the clubs are not the ones selling the dances," Van Huff said.

"Independent contractors?" I know most strippers work for tips and actually have to pay the club to work there, but they're still employees, right? That's just silly.

Posted 4/22/2005 05:04:00 PM by Douglas

Celebrities. Is there anything they can't do? Well read this and try not to vomit [via Agitator]

The MTV series features actress Cameron Diaz and a rotating crew of "her close, personal friends [who] think globally and act globally." They tour developing nations, including Nepal, Bhutan, Tanzania, Honduras and visit remote villages in Chile.

Actress Drew Barrymore, who reportedly earns $15 million a film, told MTV viewers in one episode that after spending time in a primitive, electricity-free Chilean village, "I aspire to be like them more." [emphasis defiantly added]

Drew, dear, you want to be more like them, you don't have to go to Chile to do it. When was the last time you killed supper, or even cleaned your own toilet? All good questions.

Barrymore, apparently enthralled by the lack of a modern sanitary facilities, gleefully bragged, "I took a poo in the woods hunched over like an animal. It was awesome."

The 32-year-old Diaz, who earns a reported $20-million a movie, boasted that the cow-dung slathered walls of a Nepalese village hut were "beautiful" and "inspiring," and she called the primitive practice of "pounding mud" with sticks to construct a building foundation "the coolest thing."

The coolest thing? Giving those peasants 1/100 of your liquid wealth to raise them out of abject poverty instead of using their misfortune as a photo-op for your new MTV show where you make more money to throw on your already opulent pile.

Posted 4/21/2005 05:27:00 PM by Douglas

OK, so gimme a week to read through it, but what I've sampeled, I had to say I agree with most of it.

"GOL-DAMN! I work almost 30 hours a week and only get five weeks of vacation! The management is mistreating its workers! We should go on strike! My buddy Dave got fired last week, and he had only had five write-ups for bad job performance, fistfighting with coworkers, and drinking on the job! That ain't right! The contract says we get SEVEN write-ups! They can't just go and fire someone like that out of the blue unless they've been given due warning! Yeah, I can see that the storage bin is on fire over there, and yes, I know I'm sitting within arm's reach of the extinguisher, and yes, MAYBE it caught on fire because I flicked my cigarette in it, but you'd better go get someone else to put it out. I'm on break for another fifteen minutes, and if you don't get someone to put that fire out, I'll complain about unsafe working conditions."

Something like that. . . keep reading. . .

Posted 4/21/2005 05:23:00 PM by Douglas

A study, not only in photographs, but in media hysteria, as well. Let's take a quick look at the "before and after" pictures of the "Virgin in the overpass" that was seen in Chicago. Here's the "before the Pope died and the media got wind of it" version:

and here's the "post media-circus" version:

What's the biggest difference? All them candles are drying out the robes of the Mother of Christ. I mean, those salt water stains from last week's snow. They're drying out salt water. Or maybe they're not. But one thing's for sure: These people, paying homage to a stain in the concrete have way too much time on their hands.

Posted 4/21/2005 05:15:00 PM by Douglas

I'm gonna have to say that I agree with this one. I didn't think it actually was OV-102 at first, but take a gander at this if you have any doubts, as Columbia was the only one marked with "USA" on its right wing.

If you're like me (and chances are, you're much more rational), you can voice your dispeasure directly at OnStar here.

Posted 4/21/2005 05:08:00 PM by Douglas

Not only is Google trying to take over the world, but they're out of their damn mind, as well.

Users must have a Google g-mail account to access My Search History. Once signed on, users can examine earlier search requests, see the results that were clicked on, as well as the date and time of the searches.

This information is not added to My Search History unless the user is signed on, according to Google's FAQ page. Also, users can remove items from their search history, as well as pause the feature indefinitely.

My Search History should prove useful in cases when someone cannot remember the exact search terms used to find a particular result, but might happen to remember the date of the search, Google said.

I wonder if these idiots have ever see the "history" section of their browser? Probably not, but then again, they're probably using MSIE.

Ya know what else this service would be just perfect for? Your (choose as many as required) [girlfriend/wife/mother/son/pimp/daughter/parole officer/cellmate/accomplice/doppelgänger] uses it to find out you're on-line at 3 am, drunk off your ass and searching for boobies, Italian shoes and more RAM for your laptop.

No thanks, google. You've really gone to far this time.

Posted 4/21/2005 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

Caption this photo: Must do better than "Ouch!"

Oh, No, Nomar!

Posted 4/19/2005 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

It's probably because of the movie, but good to seem some "back room" guys getting some recognition they deserve

"The guys in the front room are the ones who are in the front lines and get a lot of attention," he said. "Those of us who are in the back room don't get a lot of attention."

Hey, someone's got to do the work. But the real unsung hero of the situation: Duct Tape.

"I felt like we were home free," he said. "One thing a Southern boy will never say is, 'I don't think duct tape will fix it."'

Not really the message NASA wants to get out in the 21st century, but when you're right, you're right.

Duct tape: Is there anything it can't do?

Posted 4/19/2005 05:34:00 PM by Douglas

It's a tragic tale, too oft repeated. Young mother, unprepared for her new responsibilities abandons her children. The baby is soon found in dire circumstances, this time, with a broken leg before she eventually died. But then, as usual, what happens next? This irresponsible mother is pregnant again. It's a vicious cycle of abuse and neglect, and it's even worse when it's an elephant.

Shanti, the Houston Zoo's reluctant mother, is pregnant again.

The Asian elephant who gave birth to baby Bella last August is expected to have her second calf in late 2006.

The pregnancy may have occurred outside the breeding protocol to which members of the American Zoo and Aquarium Association, or AZA, must adhere. The zoo first should have sought a recommendation for this second birth, according to the chairman of the advisory committee overseeing the group's elephant species survival plan.

Maybe she'll pull herself together before her next one in 2006.

Posted 4/18/2005 05:33:00 PM by Douglas

How strange. Last fall, CNN reported the top in demand college degrees. What's even more amazing, the link is still up. Now CNN is telling me what the most lucrative college degrees are, right out of college. Wouldn't you know it, there's some overlap between the two lists, as Engineering shows up five times on this list! [I'm still not counting computer engineering, nor industrial engineering? They call it I.E., or imaginary engineering for a reason)

Major	Starting Salary
Chemical engineering	$54,256
Electrical engineering	$52,009
Computer engineering	$51,496
Computer science	$51,292
Mechanical engineering	$51,046
Aerospace engineering	$50,701
Industrial engineering	$49,541
Accounting	$43,809
Information sciences	$43,732
Civil engineering	$43,462
Economics/finance	$42,802
Business administration	$39,448
Marketing	$37,832
Liberal arts	$30,337

But wow! There's obviously more of a demand for Chemical engineers than for Liberal Arts graduates. . .so why aren't we making more Chem Es? Is playing hackey sac and smoking weed that much more important?

And check out that crap-tacular table. . .you just know an engineer was involved with that. . .

Posted 4/18/2005 06:33:00 AM by Douglas

Just what in the hell is going on here? There's a Mad Max film festival going on and I wasn't notified? Also, since when were knives and fake machine guns illegal?

Eleven "Mad Max" fans of were arrested after alarming motorists as they made their way to a movie marathon in a theatrical convoy in which they surrounded a tanker truck armed with fake machine guns.

As the group was headed to San Antonio from nearby from Boerne on Saturday morning, police received several calls from motorists who reported a "militia" surrounding a tanker truck, a police report states.

Police charged nine people with obstruction of a highway and two others with possession of prohibited knives in addition to obstruction of a highway.

One of the organizers of the convoy, Chris Fenner, said the arrests were unfair. He said he didn't know why anyone would have confused the costumed crew recreating a scene from "Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior" — set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland — with a real threat.

"I honestly don't know how that could be, because 'Road Warrior' was so over the top," he said.

About 25 people participated in the convoy and more than twice that number were expected to attend the movie marathon, which was canceled after the arrests

I guess it could be worse. They could be re-enacting scenes from Revenge of the Nerds.

Posted 4/17/2005 09:33:00 PM by Douglas

When you care enough to send the very best: Lorazepam.

Posted 4/17/2005 09:21:00 PM by Douglas

Things to do in Houston:

• The Orange Show I can't believe I've never been. It's about time, and here are some pictures.
• Jefferson Davis Hospital Downtown lofts? Whatever. I guess it's better than letting it fall in on itself. An interesting thread (and board) also here.
• Beer Can House How could you not like a guy that dedicated his life to making his home look like a beer can?
• The Rothko Chapel What an excellent way to show how a "modern artist" can totally rip off the rest of the world. Or, perhaps, the best display of "black" on "canvas" the world has ever seen. It's up to you.
• The Forbidden Gardens Head out to Katy to see the reproduction of the forbiden gardens. For some reason, I've yet to do this, either.
• The Byzantine Fresco Museum Ok, I really dig this one. The building is amazing, and the frescos are even more amazinger. Yes, that's a word.

Also, while you're in town, why not get a steak the size of a hubcap while you're getting a lap-dance? Seems to be the Houston way!

Posted 4/17/2005 09:02:00 PM by Douglas

Did we actually land on the moon? I'm beginning to wonder myself.

Ever see Capricorn One? As far as movies with both of Barbara Streisand's husbands in it, it's a keeper.

And if your tin-foil hat isn't polished, there's this site that'll set you straight.

Posted 4/14/2005 11:35:00 AM by Douglas

Great, now I have to worry about people stealing my identity in India.

On Wednesday, the Pune police arrested two more people in connection with the crime, taking the total number of people arrested to 16. The two individuals arrested on Wednesday — Anand Karnawat (25) of Wadgaon Sheri and Ashish Thakur of Balajinagar — have been remanded to police custody till April 16. The duo, who were home loan representatives, used rejected home loan applications to open bank accounts in false names.

This acted as a conduit for the money siphoned off by the call centre employees from the accounts of New York-based customers of Citigroup.

The cyber crime, believed to be the first such to have come to light, lead to the arrest, initially, of 12 people on April 6. Later, as the scope of the investigations widened, two more people were arrested on April 12 and sent to police custody till April 15.

Money changing hands over several different countries? What could possibly go wrong?

Expect much more of this.

Posted 4/13/2005 05:28:00 PM by Douglas

Somehow, I knew we hadn't heard the last out of Susan Wright. Instead of just wanting a new trial, now she's asking for one.

A woman convicted of stabbing her husband 193 times and burying his body in the back yard deserves a new trial because prosecutors inaccurately dramatized the killing in front of the jury, her attorneys said.

Susan Wright, 28, wants the court to overturn her murder conviction in the Jan. 13, 2003 killing of Jeffrey Wright. A former topless dancer, Susan Wright is serving a 25 year sentence for the crime.

Her attorney, Brian Wice, told the 14th Court of Appeals that Harris County prosecutor Kelly Siegler Wice presented to the jury a demonstration of the death that wasn't based on fact.

I would love to hear how that confidential conversation went down. I have to imagine it went something like this, "Uh, when that lady lawyer straddled that dude in the bed I killed my husband in, she didn't tie him up near tight enough, and those short, reaching blows with the butcher knife weren't even close to what I did. How could I have done that 193 times??

Or something like that. The wheels of justice are slow, Susan, especially after you bury the body in your backyard.

Posted 4/13/2005 05:13:00 PM by Douglas

Ever got so drunk you thought you could wrap bacon around a bologna loaf and throw it in the smoker? Me neither, but this guy did so you don't have too. I don't care how miraculous you say your kamado is, Dave, meat is meat, and bologna is bologna. That's just nasty.

Be sure and scroll down for the pictures.

Posted 4/13/2005 05:12:00 PM by Douglas

Looks like Britney is having a baby.

Britney Spears, the one-time teenybopper who sang "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman," has apparently completed the transition with news that she's pregnant.

In a posting on her Web site, Spears told fans that she and husband, Kevin Federline, were expecting their first child together. Her publicist, Sonia Muckle, confirmed the singer's pregnancy Tuesday but refused to provide additional details.

What a truly solemn event. This is indicative of her husband's willingness to assume the responsibility of a family while demonstrating her desire to show her. . .

aw, fuck it. . .I can't even fake interest in this circus.

Posted 4/09/2005 03:17:00 PM by Douglas

It's that time again. Time for the Wiener Dog Nationals! Where else can you see fat ladies running in front of their Dachshund competing for fame and fortune?

But remember, this is only an exhibition, and as always, no wagering.

Posted 4/09/2005 03:10:00 PM by Douglas

I finally got my TV-B-Gone this week, and I must say, it's right up my alley. The web-page seems to be targeting the market of erudite snobs that think they're too good for TV. Obviously, that's not the case here. But it is fun, uh, turning off televisions. If I can only keep from getting my ass kicked, I'll be doing good.

One small drawback. As it cycles through all the frequencies to find the "off" setting for every TV, it inevitably hits the "on" frequency occasionally. It would seem like this would be a drawback for something sold to deactivate a television. Still fun, though.

Posted 4/08/2005 05:28:00 PM by Douglas

What the hell was up with Blogger yesterday? Today's crappiness would have been brought to you yesterday if not for this ridiculousness.

If you are experiencing problems loading Blogger.com, please try clearing the cookies in your browser.

Because if I can't get to blogger.com from Netscape, Firefox, IE or Mozilla, it's my problem right?

Posted 4/08/2005 05:21:00 PM by Douglas

I've been a big fan of The Sneeze for quite some time, but I'm afraid that he's really gone off the deep end with this installment of Steve, don't eat it. Huitlacoche looks more like a sick joke than a food product. Yet Steve rises to the occasion

It guess it would be fair to say it doesn't taste as truly horrible as it looks. The flavor is elusive and difficult to describe, but I'll try: "Kinda yucky." Hey, that wasn't so hard after all. (Sometimes I forget I'm a goddamn wordsmith.)

For any connoisseurs, I'm not sure if this stuff would go better with red wine or white. How about with a bottle of Bactine? I've always found that goes great with infections.

That's just nasty.

Posted 4/08/2005 05:16:00 PM by Douglas

This is what happens in East Texas when your coach can't read the nickel defense.

Police captured a man suspected of shooting a high school football coach Thursday on campus in Canton, Texas, east of Dallas, authorities said.

The 37-year-old coach -- Gary Joe Kinne Jr. -- was shot below the ribs and was flown to Mother Frances Hospital in Tyler, where he was undergoing surgery, his father said.

Who says Texans take football too seriously?

Posted 4/08/2005 05:11:00 PM by Douglas

Since no one can come up with a good reason why we still use Daylight Savings Time in 47 states in this country, congress wants to extend it.

Lawmakers crafting energy legislation approved an amendment Wednesday to extend daylight-saving time by two months, having it start on the first Sunday in March and end on the last Sunday in November.

"Extending daylight-saving time makes sense, especially with skyrocketing energy costs," said Rep. Fred Upton, R-Michigan, who along with Rep. Ed Markey, D-Massachusetts, co-sponsored the measure.

The country uses about 20 million barrels of oil a day.

Whatever. I guess Ed Markey, D-Massachusetts looked around the highways at all the SUVs and saw how concerned Americans are about conserving fuel and decided to do something about it.

Like most people, I enjoy the extra daylight at the end of the day in the summer, but I'm sick of changing my clocks twice a year. Why not just set it one place and leave it?

But I know who isn't happy about this measure. Cell-phone companies. They'll have to push back their "night-time" hour start time to 11 pm if this goes through.

Posted 4/08/2005 05:06:00 PM by Douglas

Sadly, it's come to this. Advertising on a dollar bill:

The trade publication Advertising Age reported this week that cable television's USA Network has launched an unusual promotion to publicize its upcoming "Traffic: The Miniseries."

The network is distributing 50,000 one-dollar bills in trendy bars in Los Angeles and New York. Affixed on each of those bills: a removable sticker bearing the USA Network logo, along with the title and airtime of the three-part miniseries.

Based on the movie of the same title, the show is about drug dealers, users, and the position of cash at the center of drug culture lifestyles.

I don't know if the USA mini-series is going to suck, but I'm going to have to assume that it does, since the movie was already ripped off from a British mini-series that was much better. But using dollar bills as advertising? Why?

"The topic of 'Traffic' revolves around the many ways that money lures people into incredibly dangerous situations," said Paul Woolmington, CEO of Media Kitchen, the New York-based agency that created the campaign. "We did a lot of brainstorming, and it all came back to money."

You could cut the irony in that sentence with a bulldozer. A bunch of marketing money-whores want to put forth the message about money luring people into dangerous situations? I guess basing your career on convincing people to buy a bunch of crap that don't need wasn't good enough, so they had to go with the message literally on the money.

To quote the late, great Bill Hicks yet again:

If you're in marketing or advertising . . . kill yourself. No, seriously, there's no justification for what you do, you are all Satan's little helpers, kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself now.

Posted 4/05/2005 05:39:00 PM by Douglas

This has got to be the strangest story out of Granite, OK, since I got drunk on my way to Lake Lugert and stole that bulldozer and destroyed that pumpkin patch. Ok, so maybe not, but this is still pretty weird.

A convicted murderer and a deputy warden's wife who disappeared nearly 11 years ago have been found living together and raising chickens in Texas. The woman said she was held captive the whole time, staying with the killer out of fear her family would be harmed if she fled.

Most abductees out of Granite, OK, are very fearful. Fearful they'll be brought back. They're not picky, either. Hey Greyhound! Abduct me!

I just hope if I'm ever apprehended after an America's Most Wanted episode, they don't talk to anyone that works in a convenience store near my house. Chances are, the conversation is going to go something like this:

"We just thought they might have a couple of warrants or something," said Renae Almaguer, who once worked at a convenience store where the couple shopped for beer, cigarettes, gas and quick groceries. She said she told co-workers "something ain't right with them people."

Somthing ain't right with everyone, Ranae. . . .

Posted 4/05/2005 05:35:00 PM by Douglas

How long can you live on a plate of Kung Pao and an egg roll? Apparently, three days.

A deliveryman who vanished after taking Chinese food to a Bronx high-rise apartment building was found alive Tuesday after apparently spending more than three days trapped in an elevator that had become stuck between floors.

Ming Kuang Chen, 35, had been the subject of a widespread search after he failed to return to his restaurant Friday night with $200 in receipts, prompting speculation that he was the victim of armed bandits or some other urban horror.

But the disappearing deliveryman emerged Tuesday with a mean thirst and a tale of survival. He was pulled out at about 5 a.m. Tuesday by firefighters responding to an emergency call at the high-rise.

That must have sucked for him, because you know he ate the food after the first 20 minutes, but then in about an hour, he was hungry again.

Chen had no food or water throughout his ordeal. He was given water at the scene before being taken to Montefiore Medical Center, where he was treated for minor dehydration and ate an apple, cereal and a roll. "He was in very good condition," said hospital spokesman Steve Osborne.

He really wanted some iced tea, an orange, and a pop-tart, but he was abruptly told, "No Substitution!"

Posted 4/05/2005 05:29:00 PM by Douglas

The fourth amendment had been dead for a long, long time. Oh how we miss it.

Posted 4/04/2005 05:13:00 PM by Douglas

Even more on the Pakistani F-16 deal. No, this one's not going to go away.

Bush administration officials simultaneously announced that India would have the opportunity to buy some of the latest American combat aircraft.

Pakistan is initially expected to buy some two dozen state-of-art F-16 warplanes. "It will qualitatively enhance the capacity of the Air Force and the armed forces of Pakistan," says Mr. Masood.

The relationship between President Musharraf and the Bush Administration has strengthened since the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks in the US. Washington has already extended its help in rescheduling debt, and last year announced a $3.1 billion military and economic package, plus financial assistance for education reforms.

$3.1 billion aid package? Sounds like we're giving them some F-16s. But this isn't the only source of India's military expansion. They're looking at beefing up their navy as well:

Nine offshore naval patrol boats alone, besides the upgrading of Sea Harrier planes and the purchase of C-303 submarine-fired torpedo decoy systems.

All these three are specifically designed for deployment over water and indicate that India will be taking very serious look at enforcing its suzerainty over its immediate neighbourhood other than its land border with Pakistan and China.

This may well be a message to other nations of its intent in the future.

Well, duh. But the important thing is that India is holding its ground and keeping its standard position against our military expansion: " THBPBPTHPT!!"

India began negotiating the purchase of French Mirage 2000-5s, Swedish JAS-39 Gripens or advanced Russian MiG-29s, in addition to an ongoing project to introduce the high-end Russian Sukhois, according to Asia Times.

Just like how they got nukes without our help, the world's largest democracy is perfectly capable of thinking this through and taking care of itself. Which is more than I can say for the State Department.

Posted 4/04/2005 05:07:00 PM by Douglas

Why is the Senate having a mock debate about Social Security instead of a real one? Or, an even better question, why don't they just get rid of that socialist nightmare altogether?

Neither President Bush nor congressional leaders have put forth a bill to overhaul Social Security, but that won't stop the Senate from beginning its deliberations.

Two Democrats and two Republicans will square off Tuesday night in a mock debate on the Senate floor, arguing whether — and how, if necessary — the government retirement insurance program should be altered.

The leaders of the parties' respective policy committees, Sens. Byron Dorgan, D-N.D., and Jon Kyl, R-Ariz., decided to engage in the exercise as a likely precursor to the real thing later this year. The committees previously sponsored a debate on the subject in 2003.

These guys way too much time on their hands, and even more of my money to play with.

Posted 4/04/2005 04:57:00 PM by Douglas

Why is the singer from a boy band running for mayor of Cincinnati? Why not?

Justin Jeffre, a former member of 98 Degrees, wants to be Cincinnati's next mayor, saying his love for his hometown and desire to make it better motivated his decision to run.

"I am serious about this, and I intend to win," Jeffre, 32, said last week.

Jeffre said he wants to bring people from all over the city together through Cincinnati's arts and entertainment venues and build a strong downtown.

If Jerry Springer can do it, really, how hard could it possibly be?

Posted 4/03/2005 05:34:00 PM by Douglas

Hey, NASA: here's an idea. Instead of worrying about cute, tendy yet totally pointless silicone wristbands, how 'bout you worry about actually getting the shuttle ready to fly again?

I think Carlin said it best when he said, "let's leave the symbols to the symbol minded."

Fly, NASA, fly!

Posted 4/03/2005 05:06:00 PM by Douglas

Man, what a different world it is today from the one when I was in school. When I was a wee lad, the important thing was how many things you got right on your homework, not what color the teacher used to grade it. I had no idea what untold damage was done to me by red pens.

Parents objected. Red writing, they said, was "stressful." The principal said teachers were just giving constructive advice and the color of ink used to convey that message should not matter. But some parents could not let it go.

So the school put red on the blacklist. Blue and other colors are in.

"It's not an argument we want to have at this point because what we need is the parents' understanding," Karwoski said. "The color of the message should not be the issue."

Well, duh. But schools have been so eager to bend over backwards to any and all of the parent's stupid whims, why stop now?

In many other schools, it's black and white when it comes to red. The color has become so symbolic of negativity that some principals and teachers will not touch it.

"You could hold up a paper that says 'Great work!' and it won't even matter if it's written in red," said Joseph Foriska, principal of Thaddeus Stevens Elementary in Pittsburgh.

He has instructed his teachers to grade with colors featuring more "pleasant-feeling tones" so that their instructional messages do not come across as derogatory or demeaning.

So what's derogatory? The fact that the pupil got the wrong answer, or that someone is pointing it out?

This idiotic arguement strikes at the heart of the controversy of education in this country today. The fact that teachers have to jump through hoops to protect the self-esteem of these little angels, even when they're wrong, just shows that constant bickering from their part-time parents has left the fox firmly in charge of the hen house.

Someone has to be the adult in this situation, and if their fragile egos can't take a little red ink when they're wrong, then too bad.

Posted 4/02/2005 01:50:00 PM by Douglas

I'm pretty sure I posted this story before, but hey, here it is again. Interesting outlook on the 21st century's oil supplies, and consequences thereof. It's going to be interesting to see what happens to that big black bar in Figure 1 if oil hits $100 a barrel. "Unrecovered" at $50 a barrel means something totally different at $100 a barrel.

Posted 4/02/2005 01:47:00 PM by Douglas

Strange news, coming as it does on Friday, April 1st.

US President George W. Bush declared today that he had signed a rare Presidential Decree canceling any further expenditure of Federal funds on the US Space Shuttle program.

"We cannot find any justification to continue the deficit funding of a program that has no application other that proving that with enough money America can do anything," said Bush.

"The whole world knows that already, so why keep spending money on it," he added.

Who could argue with that? But I knew something was amiss after I read this line:

During the press conference Bush told reporters, "I don't want to see another NASA administrator - appointed on my watch - left to justify a program to Congress based on lies, dis-information, half-truths and sexed up reports."

First of all, Bush doesn't have press conferences. Also, no one on the planet, not even Bush, would ever confuse a NASA report with being "sexed up."

Posted 4/02/2005 01:35:00 PM by Douglas

Marginally interesting (if you're a dork like me) list of common grammatical errors. I must admit, it really begs the question as to how many times I've been guilty of this.