Posted 12/30/2006 11:00:00 AM by Douglas

Saddam's execution has caused quite a controversy, and I'm only talking about with TV executives as to whether or not to show it.

The apparently imminent execution of the deposed Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein threw executives at television news organizations into hurried consultations today over how to handle pictures or video of the hanging.

Though it was not known whether images of the execution would be released, the news divisions at ABC and CBS said that, should video become available, they will show some visual documentation of Saddam’s death but will not use overly graphic images or show complete execution.

Ironic, really. Networks taking the self-congratulatory moral high road of sparing us, the poor viewer, of graphic footage of a body swinging from a rope, which is probably one tenth as graphic as any Mel Gibson movie, just as long as another network doesn't do it first.

As always, the high road.

Posted 12/30/2006 10:42:00 AM by Douglas

The whorification of adolescent girls continues unabated.

But my parental brain rebels. Suburban parents dote on and hover over their children, micromanaging their appointments and shielding them in helmets, kneepads and thick layers of S.U.V. steel. But they allow the culture of boy-toy sexuality to bore unchecked into their little ones’ ears and eyeballs, displacing their nimble and growing brains and impoverishing the sense of wider possibilities in life.

There is no reason adulthood should be a low plateau we all clamber onto around age 10. And it’s a cramped vision of girlhood that enshrines sexual allure as the best or only form of power and esteem.

You'll never go broke writing about "these kids today," or "back in my day. . . " But I think this guy is on to something. It's quite fascinating that parents want to assist their daughter's sex lives before they can even drive.

Posted 12/28/2006 03:34:00 PM by Douglas

Oh man, not this shit again.

University of Texas President William Powers Jr. said he plans to form an advisory committee to study whether something should be done about the numerous campus statues honoring the Confederacy.

The statues have in recent history become a topic of debate among students, professors and administrators.

They include four bronze figures on the South Mall honoring Confederate leaders such as Jefferson Davis, president of the Confederate States, and Gen. Robert E. Lee.

Some critics have proposed removing the Davis and Lee statues and placing them in a museum.

Why not put all the statues in a museum? I'm sure someone is going to be offended by George Washington standing on the south mall. I'm sure Mr. Littlefield is spinning in his grave.

When Littlefield complained of Northern bias in the text books used in teaching American history, Eugene C. Barker of the university's History Department, with whom Littlefield, by appointment of Governor Thomas M. Campbell, had served a year, 1909-10, on the first Texas Library and Historical Commission, replied that better history could not be written without adequate archival resources. Littlefield in 1914 established the Littlefield Fund for Southern History to collect such material, and during the remaining six years of his life he gave well over $100,000 to the fund.

Posted 12/28/2006 03:17:00 PM by Douglas

Maybe I'm a bit cruel, but this sounds like an unemployment solution to me.

A 16-year-old girl died early today after playing a variation of Russian roulette, investigators said.

Bexar County sheriff's deputies said the girl and a man in his 20s handed a gun containing one bullet back and forth, taking turns pointing the weapon at each other's heads and pulling the trigger.

Tragic? Not really.

Posted 12/28/2006 03:14:00 PM by Douglas

Ben Stein tells us something that I already suspected: Borat sucks.

It's repulsive.

2.) Much of the movie is about Borat making fun of people who have been completely kind to him. This is just infantile and narcissistic oppositional disorder. It's also rude, and it's not very funny. Maybe it is if you are five.

I think there's way too much focus on the psudo anti-Semitism of the fact that's he's Jewish and not enough on the fact that's it's just not funny. The "candid camera" type stunt that never ends and preys on the kindness of strangers just seems sad to me.

Posted 12/26/2006 06:51:00 PM by Douglas

Just got back from "where the river is wide and crawfish hide." Didn't take as many pictures as I thought I would, since that's really all I was going for, but got some interesting ones, as there's lots of interesting things to see in Louisiana. I'll start with this one, and being a 'back road' kind of guy that I am, I saw this one a lot:

I have no idea what the French means, but judging from the roads I was on, it loosely translates to "We haven't maintained this road since Huey Long was shot." Just a guess.

Posted 12/26/2006 06:40:00 PM by Douglas

James Brown, Gerald Ford die in a bizarre homoerotic day-delayed orgy. Or something like that.

We're gonna miss you, Godfather of Soul, and Godfather of Unelected Presidents.

Posted 12/26/2006 06:19:00 PM by Douglas

Ever lose your luggage on an airplane? Ever wonder how the airline lost your luggage? This is how.

Some of the luggage had been rifled through. The baggage had destination tags from several overseas locations, including London and Dubai, United Arab Emirates, indicating they probably came from international flights arriving at Bush Intercontinental Airport.

The airport is about a mile to the southeast of the spot where they were discovered, authorities said.

Because some of the bags originated in the Middle East, FBI agents also were brought in to examine the items.

An FBI spokesman said the bags did not pose a danger to the public.

Stay calm, folks, the highly trained professionals at the airport are there to ensure the security of every passenger.

Posted 12/25/2006 07:50:00 PM by Douglas

Merry Christmas from Morgan City, Louisiana. The blog decided to take a solo road trip to some crap that it’s been the subject of much ranting on the blog. Got some good pix, but left the USB cable at home so the pictures of the port will have to wait. Heading up to the Old River tomorrow, so maybe I’ll have some interesting pictures. Also, I’m hoping a restaurant is open tomorrow. Two years ago Christmas dinner was at the Hard Rock Café because it was the only place open on the Big Island. This year, Christmas dinner was at Waffle House. You take what you get, and at times, you’re happy to get it.

Posted 12/23/2006 05:50:00 PM by Douglas

What I love about Galveston: It's filled with this stuff. Great architecture on what was once, everyday homes, and right next door is a housing project that's a total crack house. There is virtually NO middle class on the Island. But anyhoo, here are some random pictures.

Interesting looking park at 15th and Church. There was a wedding going on the first time I found this place, but it was bit more tame this day.

The Wall of Remembrance. Kinda cool, I guess. I dig the statue, in a kind of "hey artist, beat me over the head with your vision" kind of way.
And here's a random Rosenberg monument:

I don't really know why it's there, on such a random corner there in the East End, but it is.

There's a lot of interesting stuff going on in Galveston that don't have a thing to do with the beach or Schlitterbahn.

Posted 12/23/2006 05:05:00 PM by Douglas

Trouble's a'brewin' at the ferry

Winters, 76, says his 73-year-old wife, Beverly, is one of dozens of disabled people on the Bolivar Peninsula who find boarding the ferry a challenge since the Texas Department of Transportation stopped issuing medical priority passes in September that allowed them to go to the head of the line.

Beverly Winters and two other disabled Port Bolivar residents are plaintiffs in a lawsuit filed this week in a federal court in Austin seeking to force the highway department to resume issuing medical priority passes.

I just don't get this one. If you have trouble getting around, you get to park closer to the mall. If you can't see, can't hear, can't stand, you get to park closer to the mall. So how does your disability, any disability, get you bumped to the front of the line for a ferry trip to Galveston?

Their medical conditions make waiting in typically long lines to board the ferry intolerable, the lawsuit says.

Beverly Winters is a stroke victim who suffers from incontinence and dementia, her husband says.

Incontinence? Guess what, there's a bathroom on the ferry and dementia? What's the big deal? Sitting in traffic is somehow different than sitting in the line for the ferry? You're waiting, that's it. If you really have that big of a problem with traffic, maybe automobile travel isn't for you.

I know what kind of living hell it's like to deal with people suffering from these conditions, but it's not the state's fault there's a line at the ferry. Giving these people priority at the ferry makes as much sense as letting them run red lights just because they don't want to wait, and I just don't think these conditions warrant firetruck and/or ambulance status.

Posted 12/22/2006 05:34:00 PM by Douglas

I don't think more people have ever been more excited to see a flight land in Florida

Space shuttle Discovery and its seven astronauts safely returned to Earth on Friday after some last-minute suspense over which landing site to use, closing out a year in which NASA finally got construction of the international space station back on track.

Its arrival announced by its signature twin sonic booms, the spaceship touched down on a floodlit runway in the early evening darkness after a smooth, 13-day flight during which the astronauts rewired the space station and delivered U.S. astronaut Sunita "Suni" Williams to the orbiting outpost for a six-month stay.

"It's a thrill to have you in Florida," Mission Control said.

A thrill, indeed. And as it passed over South Texas, from Laredo to Beaumont, many alert Texans could hear the sonic boom as it streaked across the sky on its way to Florida. Quite impressive.

It rattled my windows.

Posted 12/22/2006 03:51:00 PM by Douglas

I have no idea what the probability would be of detonating a nuclear warhead during its assembly or disassembly, but I know it sure as hell ain't zero.

"There is no credible scenario in which an accidental nuclear detonation can occur at Pantex. Assertions that production operations could have resulted in such a detonation are inaccurate and inflammatory," Swaim said.

Well of course that's what he'd say. Just like it's impossible for a piece of foam to bring down the space shuttle, or a huge company to lose personal info because it's "against company policy." Shit happens, and I've been accused by a long-time reader of being less than fair in this post, but I don't think so. A government worker saying what the public wants to hear doesn't really make me rest easier, and saying it can't happen has about as much to do with keeping it from happening as the "employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom has with keeping feces out of your salad.

If I wanted that much smoke blown up my ass I'd get a pack of cigarettes and a length of hose.

Posted 12/22/2006 03:40:00 PM by Douglas

Everything you never wanted to know about the White Sands Space Harbor. Also some great info on other old airports, for those of you that find that shit interesting.

Posted 12/21/2006 05:07:00 PM by Douglas

In case you're looking for some last minute gift ideas.

Posted 12/19/2006 05:50:00 PM by Douglas

Never a dull moment with an active volcano on your south shore.

Eruption-watchers from the U.S. Geological Survey's Hawaiian Volcano Observatory on Monday reported lava continuing to flow into the ocean off the west side and tip of the expanding black delta, while small breakouts of lava from higher up the slopes of Kilauea Volcano were described as "resembling a string of holiday lights."

Kilauea, star attraction of Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, has been luring thousands of visitors each week to its ongoing eruption since 1983. Some are treated to spectacular displays as molten lava spews into the ocean, but these days most are missing the show, partly because of the long hikes to the best viewpoints and the danger of collapsing lava.

Wow, gotta be a cool site to see it crash into the water. More info/pix here. I like this one. "Uh, dad, I parked the car by the volcano last night. . . "

Posted 12/19/2006 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

Spend your gift cards, people. Retailers are counting on you losing them.

"It can be fun to get them, but then I forget about them," said Deborah Cabaret, 46, who has hundreds of dollars worth of unused cards. "Or I walk into the store, I look around, I don't know what I want, and I leave."

Last winter, Best Buy Co. reported a $43 million gain in fiscal 2006 from cards that hadn't been used in two or more years. Limited Brands Inc. recorded $30 million in 2005 revenue because of unredeemed cards.

It's bad enough that they expire, but $40 million in unclaimed cards? That's a license to print money.

Posted 12/19/2006 05:32:00 PM by Douglas

Why does anyone care about Miss USA? I thought the interest in such things dropped off right after the swimsuit competition. I was wrong.

Trump met with Conner earlier Tuesday morning fully expecting to fire her, he said. But he walked away convinced the young woman was a "good person" with a "good heart" and not deserving of the boot.

"She left a small town in Kentucky, and she was telling me that she got caught up in the whirlwind of New York," Trump said at a news conference with Conner at his side. "It's a story that has happened many times before to many women and to many men who came to the Big Apple. They wanted their slice of the Big Apple, and they found out it wasn't so easy."

Conner won the title in April and moved to New York. Since then, she has partied hard, admitting she frequented clubs, where she threw drinks back — despite being underage. She turned 21 on Monday.

That's her crime? Drinking the demon alcohol when she was 20 years and 11 months old, and she's only going to rehab? Why not GitMo? As told by Jon Stewart, she was also seen making out with Miss Teen USA, so the plot thickens.

"My personal demons are my personal demons," she told a horde of reporters.

Which prompted Stewart to quip, "my personal demons are paying money to watch your personal demons." And how!

But let's put the blame where it really belongs: The full degradation of our society brought on by the feminists.

In a way, says Steiner-Adair, what's happened to the culture is a perversion of the original feminist movement and the so-called sexual revolution.

That may be a bit much, but to paraphrase Marx (Groucho, not Karl), "sometimes a drunk-whore is just a drunk whore."

Posted 12/19/2006 05:18:00 PM by Douglas

Maybe it's the way Justin Timberlake is making fun of his own silly career, or maybe it's just the dick in the box, but I can't stop laughing at this. Especially the instructions:

1. Cut a hole in a box
2. Put your junk in a box
3. Have her open the box

Yeah, it's dumb, but it works.

Also good to see that NBC has pulled the cob out of their ass and allowed Youtube to host some SNL clips. I could watch this one every day.

Posted 12/18/2006 05:37:00 PM by Douglas

Random pictures from Galveston, Texas: The Landes-McDonough house, in all her glory. Any structure that predates the 1900 storm is one tough bitch, to which her 'exuberant parapets and towers' will attest.

And here's one of the many Norfolk Pines on the Island:

I don't know why I think those trees are so cool looking. Partly because they're all over Hawaii, and partly because they look like something from Dr. Seuss. But I need one in my yard, and my proximity to Galveston tells me that it's possible.

Posted 12/18/2006 05:08:00 PM by Douglas

Long-time readers know that I'm not the judge and jury when it comes to crimes recognized by the grammar police. At least those of you that are still speaking to me. Anyhoo, I saw this a few weeks ago, and it caught my attention. So much so that I had to look at it twice. Then I had to look at it a third time and bring in the camera to take a picture of it. Who thought breakfast could be so complicated?

Admittedly, when the world was making fun of Dan Qualye for not knowing how to spell "potato", I was on his side, because I wasn't sure if it had an 'e,' either. But this is what's hilarious about this picture:

It would appear that the sign was originally correct, yet someone removed the "E" in an attempt to 'correct' it, and for my money, correcting something to make it wrong is funnier than being wrong in the first place.

Posted 12/17/2006 05:50:00 PM by Douglas

Let them all die gracelessly.

When you make words for a living, you will inevitably find yourself drawn into certain ruts of repetition. That's why you'll see the same tired clichés popping up in the same media outlets, or often in the writing produced by the same people. Blogs are no different, and are in fact worse -- the increased breadth and depth of volume encourages mass overuse of an even longer list of lazy jokes, references, and turns of phrase. And blog comments and discussions recycle the same slop with alarming regularity. We're as guilty as anyone of these crimes, and likely more guilty than some. We're willing to admit there's a problem though, just like at AA, so we're cataloguing the worst offenders far and wide. After the jump, an annotated list of words, phrases, and terms that have long overstayed their welcome in the media-blogosphere. Send in your own, and as always, feel free to chime in comment-wise.

Bad writing is bad writing, irregardless of the pacific forem its in. Just ignore it.

Posted 12/17/2006 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

Dave Barry weighs in, in 1994, on the Strategic Helium Reserve for Reason.

Well, that helium thing does. That's real money. All the tax money that I've ever, ever paid--and I've paid a lot of taxes--will not even begin to pay for one year of the strategic helium reserve. So when I sit and write a check out to the government, I can take it quite personally.

Sleep tight, America. The SHR was phased out in 1999.

Posted 12/15/2006 05:42:00 PM by Douglas

Just what the world needs. Assholic drivers that can't decide what they want to do more: Be a bad parent or be a bad driver. Now, they don't have to chose.

Would Mustang Sally drive a station wagon? Maybe she'll get the chance.

The next generation of the Ford Mustang could include some previously unthinkable variants including a four-door sedan and a station wagon, according to a report in the magazine AutoWeek.

"To a Mustang purist, this is blasphemy," said Bob Gritzinger, AutoWeek's senior editor for news.

Ok, so maybe not:

Ford Motor Company released a statement today calling reports that the company would make four-door variants of its Mustang sports car "not true."

"The Mustang is an icon and will continue in its current form: a unique two-door, rear-wheel drive, 2+2 performance car," the statement says.

The term "2+2" refers to a car, like the Mustang, with small back seats.

When asked why Ford wasn't pursing such options, high ranking officials were quoted as saying "because we thought it'd sell, and we're dedicated to driving the company into the ground."

So I made up that last part, but seriously, why the outrage? Those idiots put a 4-banger in the Mustang in the 70s and early 80s. Honest to got FOUR CYLINDER. There's nothing they can't fuck up.

Posted 12/15/2006 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

Deep in the middle of the sleeping plains of North-West Texas lies a facility that's just waiting to suck the paint off your house.

A watchdog group charges a nuclear warhead nearly exploded in Texas when it was being dismantled at the government's Pantex facility near Amarillo.

The Project on Government Oversight says it has been told by knowledgeable experts that the warhead nearly detonated in 2005 because an unsafe amount of pressure was applied while it was being disassembled, The Austin American-Statesman reports.

The U.S. Energy Department fined the plant's operators $110,000 last month.

An investigator for Project on Government Oversight says the weapon involved was a W-56 warhead with 100 times the destructive power of the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima.

The watchdog group says the problem was caused in part by technicians at the plant being required to work up to 72 hours each week.

They released an anonymous letter, reportedly sent by Pantex employees, warning that long hours and efforts to increase output were causing dangerous conditions at the plant.

A spokesperson for the Energy Department declined to respond to safety complaints in the letter.

Panhandle residents: Sleep tight in knowing that the same workers that almost made a 100 kiloton hole in the ground are also the same jokers that were just fined $110.000.

Sleep tight.

Posted 12/13/2006 05:40:00 PM by Douglas

I'm tired of this story, too. Or maybe just the Fark.com headline:

What device was just spotted on this shuttle mission that has 400 times the CPU power and 80 times the memory of the avionics computers and can even survive a year date rollover? With pics

Hey, what software has dedicated programmers, don't require suck-fest iTunes as an interface, and can freakin' fly in space? That's right, the Orbiter GPC OI. So suck it, Mac, and your fanatical race to become the Walkman of the decade.

Suck it hard. But thanks for changing the way we listen to music, and thanks for making it all suck.

Posted 12/13/2006 05:26:00 PM by Douglas

I'm so tired of this story.

The identities of hundreds of thousands of Boeing workers might be at risk. Someone stole a laptop containing their personal information.

KSN talked with a Boeing spokesperson Tuesday night who said this does affect workers in Wichita and across the country. Everyone who is at risk will be notified by Wednesday through e-mail.

Boeing officials say they will do everything possible to protect their employees. The company has confirmed the computer had the names of 382,000 past and present Boeing workers.

Former employees will receive letters in the mail if their names were on the laptop.

Company officials say they do know exactly what was on the computer, and that it did contain personal information. That laptop was stolen from an employee's car during the first week of December, but Boeing won't say in what state that crime took place.

I was tired of it last year, too.

Posted 12/10/2006 03:38:00 PM by Douglas

I've always wondered how # became the "pound" sign. I always thought it was the 'number' sign until I got lost on the phone tree of countless banks. Now I find out that it has a perfectly useful name: the octothorpe. And here's a bunch of other crap you won't remember, either. Aside from learning a great word for otter dung, I'm going to have to take issue with "wamble" for stomach rumbling. Borborygmus sounds so much more mystifying.

Posted 12/10/2006 03:35:00 PM by Douglas

Concept Mustang from the L.A. car show. Pretty snazzy.

Posted 12/10/2006 06:41:00 AM by Douglas

And there was much rejoicing!

Space shuttle Discovery blasted off its seaside launch pad on Saturday, defying the odds of poor weather and ending the ban on night-time flights imposed after the 2003 Columbia disaster.

With its twin booster rockets blazing, the shuttle and seven astronauts lifted off at 8:47:35 p.m. EST (01:47:35 GMT on Sunday) with a thundering roar and a brilliant white light that momentarily dispelled the darkness at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida.

What a sight:

Posted 12/09/2006 02:14:00 PM by Douglas

Pulp fuckin' Fiction. Also, The Big fuckin' Lebowski.

WAY too much fuckin' free time.

Posted 12/09/2006 02:11:00 PM by Douglas

Like the rest of us, Camille Paglia is sick to death of Britney's crotch.

"These girls are lowering themselves to the level of backstreet floozies. It angers me because I fought a bitter fight to get feminism back on track and be pro-sex at the same time. This is degrading the entire pro-sex wing of feminism."

“I am completely appalled by what these young women are doing because I think that they are cheapening their own image and obliterating all sexual mystery and glamour, which are the heart of the star system.”

Well, duh. But what's really interesting is how this affects Paglia's feminism. How does she get her giant ego through standard sized doors?

Posted 12/09/2006 02:05:00 PM by Douglas

Parenthood may be difficult, but judging by the six billion people on the planet it's obvious that it's not impossible to ensure your children remain safe during their formative years. That is, unless you're stupid enough to un-leash a wild cougar at a seven year old's birthday party.

A 4-year-old girl was mauled at a children's birthday party by a cougar that had been brought in by a wild-animal business to entertain the youngsters, authorities said.

The girl was attacked on Nov. 18 at the home of Goya Foods president Francisco Unanue during a party for his 7-year-old child and suffered severe cuts on her eyelid, cheek and ear, authorities said. Doctors sewed back part of her severed ear.

Police said Wild Animal World owner and trainer Corinne Oltz removed the leashed cougar from its cage to show it to the children, but the girl sneaked behind Oltz and startled the animal. The declawed cat seized the child's head with its teeth.

The 62-pound cougar was destroyed last week so that it could be tested for rabies; it did not have rabies.

It's horrible that a four year old got mauled, but why did they have to kill the cougar? Couldn't they have "destroyed" Oltz for removing the leash, or how 'bout Unane for hiring a frigin' cougar for a birthday party? Geez.

Posted 12/09/2006 01:59:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting test case for handgun bans in D.C.

In a case that could shape firearms laws nationwide, attorneys for the District of Columbia argued Thursday that the Second Amendment right to bear arms only applies only to militias, not individuals.

The city defended as constitutional its long-standing ban on handguns, a law that some gun opponents have advocated elsewhere. Civil liberties groups and pro-gun organizations say the ban is unconstitutional.

At issue in the case before a federal appeals court is whether the Second Amendment right to "keep and bear arms" applies to all people or only to "a well regulated militia." The Bush administration has endorsed individual gun-ownership rights but the Supreme Court has never settled the issue.

I thought this case was settled in 1939 with U.S. v. Miller when the court said the Second doesn't apply to individual rights, but rather the collective of a militia. What none of this argument addresses is what is meant by "militia." If only militias can bear arms, who's to say what is or isn't a militia? Anyone advocating militias are limited to the National Guard haven't been to any of my family reunions.

Posted 12/09/2006 01:50:00 PM by Douglas

Welcome to the neighborhood! Here's your gun.

Like any good salesperson, Upton is always looking for new ways to attract customers. Recently, she struck upon what she thinks is some tantalizing bait — at least when it comes to police officers.

Instead of a free toaster, TV or a stay at a luxury hotel, Upton, of Realty Associates, is offering officers a free Glock pistol with any home purchase of at least $150,000.

"So I just give a $500 American Express gift check," said Upton, whose husband, officer Randy Upton, is a 15-year Houston police veteran.

For police officers, Glocks range from about $450 to $550 on the company's Web site.

I don't like this. Is the motive to get police to move into a certain neighborhood? Why? And why only police? Why not offer a gun to everyone that wants one? The word "police" doesn't appear anywhere in the second amendment.

Posted 12/07/2006 08:54:00 PM by Douglas

Damn! Here we go again with March of the Penguins II. What's black and white and is never gonna fly?

Low clouds forced NASA to delay the launch of space shuttle Discovery Thursday night, and strong winds could delay another attempt for a day or two.

NASA managers waited until the end of the countdown before deciding to call off the launch scheduled for 9:35 p.m. EST. It would have been the first launch at night in four years.

"We gave it the best shot and didn't get clear and convincing evidence that the cloud ceiling had cleared for us," launch director Mike Leinbach told Discovery's seven astronauts.

Commander Mark Polansky responded, "Try not to be too disappointed."

Earlier in the day, NASA Administrator Michael Griffin said if the space shuttle did not get off the ground Thursday night, NASA likely would wait until Saturday before trying again. The Friday forecast was even worse than Thursday's, with only a 10 percent chance for launching.

Too many clouds prevent the necessary observation of the shuttle during its ascent, and the shuttle commander needs visibility if an emergency landing is required.

The best opportunity for launching over the next several days was Tuesday, shuttle weather forecaster Matt Timmermann said.

Looks like Tuesday, then.

Posted 12/07/2006 05:46:00 PM by Douglas

Some would say that school isn't the place to watch movies. More specifically, the Little Cypress-Mauriceville school district said school is no place for a teacher to show an R rated movie that shows brief nudity.

A high school teacher in the Little Cypress-Mauriceville district was suspended this week for five days without pay for showing students a French movie that contained brief nudity, school district attorney Quentin Price said Tuesday.

The district's seven-member board voted unanimously to suspend French teacher Heather Salazar for showing an R-rated movie, Price said in Wednesday's editions of the Beaumont Enterprise. About two weeks ago, Salazar showed her students the Oscar-nominated French movie Amelie. The 129-minute movie tells the story of a woman on a quest to make others happy and on the journey she finds love, according to the Internet Movie Database. The 2001 Oscar-nominated movie has an R rating because of the sexual content, the Web site said.

Salazar, who's in her fifth contract year with the district, was suspended for violating a high school policy for videotape use. Price said Salazar didn't get pre-approval before showing the movie.

Who could argue with a school's videotape use policy? Still, any teacher that shows an R rated movie with nudity should expect trouble, no matter how benign the movie is. The only thing I remember about that movie (except for the gnome) is that I thought it was cute. I'd like to see it again, but it hasn't made it on my radar.

But then again, I saw Romeo and Juliet in high school, and even though it's rated G, there's still a full camera shot of Romeo's ass and Juliet's rack that titillated (hehe) my sophomore English class. I don't think anyone was fired, though. I'm pretty sure no one was turned on. At least by the movie.

Posted 12/07/2006 05:45:00 PM by Douglas

Cricketer, commentator, politician, and then convicted of manslaughter. Navjot Singh Sidhu has some great one-liners.

• Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
• The world is all about mind and matter; I don't mind and you don't matter.
• In London they drive on the left, in India we drive on what is left.
• A fallen lighthouse is more dangerous than a reef.
• Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.
• You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
• Its very difficult to kill a man who is hell bent upon committing suicide!
• I lean on statistics like a drunken man leans on a lamppost, only for support, not illumination.
• Statistics are like bikinis… what they reveal is suggestive, what they hide is essential!

Ha! Some of them are pretty good, even if they sound familiar.

Posted 12/07/2006 05:25:00 PM by Douglas

To sum up a 1,400 word piece in The New York Times style section, Evites suck.

In the centuries before party invitations were pinged across cyberspace, invitees did not feel compelled to explain in depth how a soiree conflicted with their Lamaze class, spa weekend or Ironman competition. Regrets were nonspecific platitudes. And the only people who heard them were the hosts.

No more.

Each month, more than 10 million invitations are sent through Evite.com, and a significant number of them encourage people to not only reply, but to also write a personal comment that can be viewed by everyone on the guest list.

And while some people simply refuse to respond to Evite invitations, countless others find themselves composing clever detailed responses that require so much effort, they end up R.S.V.-Peeved.

I find them obnoxious and pretentious as hell. Not only for giving other potential guests an insight into who is not only invited, but will be attending, but for giving the host the insight into the degree to which you're ignoring it. I love getting the plaintive evite follow-up email that says "why haven't you responded to the evite? You viewed it twice already. . . " Game over. The only way to deal with these annoying little things is to ignore them.

Posted 12/06/2006 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

Baker-Hamilton is in, and soon to grace the cover of Duh! magazine. Iraq is a mess:

Nearly four years, $400 billion and more than 2,900 U.S. deaths into a deeply unpopular war, violence is bad and getting worse, there is no guarantee of success and the consequences of failure are great, the panel of five Republicans and five Democrats said in a bleak accounting of U.S. and Iraqi shortcomings. The implications, they warned, are dire for terrorism, war in the Middle East and higher oil prices around the world.

It said the United States should find ways to pull back most of its combat forces by early 2008 and focus U.S. troops on training and supporting Iraqi units. The U.S. also should begin a "diplomatic offensive" by the end of the month and engage adversaries Iran and Syria in an effort to quell sectarian violence and shore up the fragile Iraqi government, the report said.

Wow, if that's the kind of criticism Bush (43) gets from Poppy's SecDef, there's no telling what some of his detractors will recommend that he'll totally ignore.

Read the full report (PDF) here.

Posted 12/06/2006 05:48:00 PM by Douglas

But seriously, what's a trillion dollars amongst friends? We're already over a third of the way there.

The Democratic co-chairman of the Iraq Study Group said on Wednesday that America's ability to resolve the crisis in Iraq is narrowing and the costs could rise to more than $1 trillion.

Now that's just hyperbolic reactionisim. We all know that the war won't cost more than $1.7 Billion, anyway. Oh Andrew Natsios, I can't stay mad at you:

TED KOPPEL
(Off Camera) All right, this is the first. I mean, when you talk about 1.7, you're not suggesting that the rebuilding of Iraq is gonna be done for $1.7 billion?

ANDREW NATSIOS
Well, in terms of the American taxpayers contribution, I do, this is it for the US. The rest of the rebuilding of Iraq will be done by other countries who have already made pledges, Britain, Germany, Norway, Japan, Canada, and Iraqi oil revenues, eventually in several years, when it's up and running and there's a new government that's been democratically elected, will finish the job with their own revenues. They're going to get in $20 billion a year in oil revenues. But the American part of this will be 1.7 billion. We have no plans for any further-on funding for this.

From 2003. Isn't he just adorable?

Posted 12/06/2006 05:37:00 PM by Douglas

Military Industrial what now? You mean there's money to be made from
war? I had no idea:

The U.S. government is on its way to brokering about $20 billion in arms sales in the fiscal year that began October 1, steady with last year's near-record total, the Pentagon official responsible for such sales said on Monday.

Coming soon to a country we used to sell weapons to: INVASION! Ask Iraq if you have any questions. I sure hope the Pentagon keeps the receipts this time. It'll make the WMD case a whole helluva lot easier for our next invasion.

Seriously, Ike was such a wuss. Cash your check and shut your fucking pie hole, you god-damned plutocrat.

Posted 12/06/2006 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

According to google, I'm the first to say it. Yeah, it's a stretch, and 300 years of history has proved me wrong, but still, my statement is in geologic terms. Which is the same timetable FEMA works on, but considering the next Southern Louisiana flood is perpetually eminent, what's the rush?

And to supplant Althouse's take on "what's been said before," I can take credit for the above phrase when the Army Corps of Engineers admits defeat at Old River. Maybe not next week, or next year, but geologically soon, and the results will be devastating, exonerating my above statement about southern Louisiana.

Posted 12/06/2006 05:13:00 PM by Douglas

Paging Mr. Herman. Mr. Pee Wee Herman, your experience in saving animals from a burning pet store were desperately needed.

A fire broke out Tuesday at a North Houston-area pet store sparking the evacuation of more than 100 animals and causing the death of two birds.

The fire at Pet City, 230 Bammel Westfield Road, started around 7:30 a.m. and appeared to be electrical, said Ponderosa Fire Chief Fred Windisch. But he said the flames created a tremendous amount of smoke.

I bet the snakes were the last ones out.

Posted 12/03/2006 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

Don't like people that you might disagree with religiously (or at least dietarily)? No worry, just set up to race the animals your foe finds unclean.

These pigs are subtle weapons, here to show the new neighbors — the Katy Islamic Association — they aren't entirely welcome. Tension has been growing in this west Harris County community since September when the Muslim group announced it had purchased 11 acres south of Interstate 10 to build a mosque, school, community center and athletic facilities.

Hard feelings started when Baker met association officials, who, he said, advised him he should move his stone shop.

"They told me it was time for my family to pack up," said Baker, whose family has occupied its land since the early 1800s. "They said a mosque and a marble shop didn't go too good together."

Angered by the perceived insult and aware of Islamic dietary laws banning pork consumption, Baker responded by announcing he would stage weekly pig races on his Muslim neighbors' holiest day of prayer.

There ya go, boy!

Posted 12/01/2006 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

A year and $76,000 later the City of Galveston has at least a proposal for a new name to jump start its tourism: The City of Galveston Island. Holy crap is that money well spent! Not only does it incorporate the name of the city, county and island on which it resides, but other than confusing every map in the world, adds no real value.

Friends of Galveston don't have to worry because nobody's in a rush to change its official name to the City of Galveston Island.

The proposed change was one of more than 50 suggestions made by North Star Destination Strategies, a Nashville-based company that conducted a $76,000, yearlong marketing study for the Galveston Island Convention and Visitors Bureau.

I think I missed my true calling in life. As a complete liar, I could have come up with some bullshit like this:

If Galveston were a public figure, residents said, it would be a combination of Jimmy Buffett and Ernest Hemingway, Distefano said. "Laid back and friendly, but with a hint of adventure and full of tales."

He said Galveston presents a unique combination of history and beaches. "We do a better job with our history than we do our beaches," he said.

Lines for suggested ad campaigns include things like "Pirates hid out here, so can you."

Ah, the Pirate contention. You never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator.

Posted 12/01/2006 05:42:00 PM by Douglas

The "whiter than rice" city of Friendswood, Texas in next on the list of Texas towns that want to show their intolerance and ignorance of the fact that Texas was once part of Mexico.

A Friendswood City Council member is interested in making English the city's official language and would like the idea to go before voters next spring.

"To be employed, you must have a command of the English language. The reason I want it to be on the ballot is because it'll be in the charter. Voters will have to approve it, not me."

Well it's about time an insignificant Houston suburb of 30,000 people take a stand for good folks with "a command of the English language." While I don't pay taxes or vote in the City of Friendswood, I would suggest a list of banned words and their substitutions when/if this resolution passes a plebiscite.

• Restaurant Eating place (from the French)
• Menu Food list (again from the French)
• Taco Flat bread sandwich (Mesican)
• Tornado Twisty cloud (again, from Mesican)

The list could go on and on, ad absurdum (shit that's not English either!) but it doesn't negate the point that this is stupid, especially in Texas. But what else is the Friendswood City Council up to?

Last month, the Friendswood council voted 6-1 to approve a resolution that urges President Bush and Congress to enforce the Immigration and Nationality Act, which governs primarily immigration and citizenship in the United States.

There really isn't anything better to do in Friendswood than to push an agenda on Washington. Hell, why stop there? Why not NATO, the UN, or pass resolutions that directly effect the border dispute in Timor? Oh right, that's why. You're politically neutered. These guys need to spend more time mowing their lawns and less time passing resolutions about things they have absolutely no interest in.

Posted 12/01/2006 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

More on the future and imminent flooding of southern Louisiana. Try as they might, not even the Army Corps of Engineers can make water flow uphill.

Well there it was, the situation was staring them right in the face, but the folks back then were thinking in human time. They wanted to navigate the Atchafalaya and so in 1863 the State of Louisiana took out the logjam. In the blink of a geologic eye (about one hundred years) the Atchafalaya widened and increased its draw on the Mississippi so that fully thirty percent of the Mississippi was pouring down the Atchafalaya. There is a fifteen foot difference now between the elevation of the two rivers and the Atchafalaya's route to the Gulf is approx. 140 miles shorter than the Mississippi's -- water always finds the shortest route downhill.

"The river to the ocean goes." This is not a question of "if." It's a question of "when" the Corps loses this battle against nature, gravity, and 1.15 million square miles of a drainage basin. It's a hard lesson, and it may take another hundred years, but eventually we're going to learn what the French knew in 1740: no matter how strategically attractive it is, Southern Louisiana is uninhabitable.

Posted 12/01/2006 05:05:00 PM by Douglas

The family of Kyle Lake has finally settled with the electrical contractor that wired his dunkin' pool.

The family of a Waco pastor who was electrocuted during a baptism in front of 800 church members has settled its wrongful death lawsuit against an electrical contractor.

The lawsuit alleged MP Electric was negligent in the design, assembly and installation of the church baptistry heaters, resulting in the electrocution death of the 33-year-old pastor.

"As a company and long-standing member of the community, MP Electric is pleased that they could come to a financial resolution with the Lake family," Dallas attorney James W. Grau, representing MP, said in a prepared statement.

Tragic, yet there's something to be said for a mortal man, acting in the name of The Lord, Baptizing parts of his congregation, losing his life through electrocution, yet his widow receives a settlement from his death? How does he enter the water with the responsibilities of Jesus Christ, yet leave the water under the responsibilities of MP Electric?