Posted 7/30/2002 07:20:00 AM by Douglas

So what's the biggest threat in the world today? Islamofascists? Our own government's responses to the attacks? The mercurial stock market?
No.
The real threat is the Ten Commandments on the capitol grounds in Austin.

Now Van Orden has lodged a protest of his own, filing a federal lawsuit seeking to remove the commandments monument on grounds that it violates constitutional separation of church and state.

Statements like this make me want to scream. Where in the Constitution does the phrase Church and State show up in the same paragraph with separation? No where.

Is the State of Texas claiming that the Ten Commandments is the law of God? I don't think so, but apparently that's what this guy's suit is about. Either that or he just wants his name in the paper.

Hell, the State isn't even saying you have to obey the dang things.

The first amendment prohibits the persecution of minority religions and prohibits a "state run" religion, like the Church of England. How is this keeping this guy from worshiping in any way he sees fit?

The fact that he has the freedom to file such a ridiculous lawsuit is proof enough that his freedoms aren't being threatened at all, and he's simply an opportunist with too much time on his hands.

Posted 7/28/2002 01:40:00 PM by Douglas

This is dang funny and I could take issue with many of the comments about albums I have/like, but I won't since most of them are true.
One Hundred Albums You Should Remove from Your Collection Immediately
I have 20 of these in my home. Spooky

Posted 7/26/2002 11:47:00 PM by Douglas

We all knew this was coming but I guess I thought it would have a better spin to it. The new Homeland Security bill clears the house. Gee, I can't imagine why anyone would be concerned with statements like this:

". . . a time of war is the wrong time to weaken the president's ability to protect the American people."[emphasis added]

Well, the G-men are doing such a bang up job up 'till now, there's really no reason to think that more of them couldn't do a better job, right?

Posted 7/26/2002 10:58:00 PM by Douglas

Remember back in the day when no news was good news? Well, no more.

As sick as it is, and can understand how destroying a town is "news", but how is a tornado not destroying something news?

This is all pretty disgusting. What's next? The children that aren't getting murdered and attacked by sharks, or the buildings that aren't being attacked by terrorists?

I can't wait for some hurricanes to pop up in the gulf. Houston is going to crap their pants and fall back in it.

Posted 7/25/2002 02:27:00 PM by Douglas

This story from Peru about eugenics is really scary. Even worse when a so-called "humanitarian" organization like the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA).

Getting rid of the undesirables is a big deal for the ruling class, but surely this couldn't have happened in America. Could it? Sure it could. It was legal in 30 states to sterilize retarded people against their will and the will of their families. Oliver Wendell Holmes said it best in the majority opinion of Buck vs. Bell:

"Three generations of imbeciles are enough."

Here's another great source in the history of American eugenics.

What amazes me is that Maragret Sanger, heroine of the early femanists and founder of Planned Parenthood is still deified by the women's movement, when she obviously had some pretty sick ideas.

"To give certain dysgenic groups in our population their choice of segregation or sterilization", advocated the founder of Planned Parenthood, Margaret Sanger in April 1932"

American eugenic laws were in place 27 years before the Nazi gave it a go.

Posted 7/24/2002 08:06:00 AM by Douglas

Some more of that Aggie "rich heritage of tradition" that we keep hearing so much about.

Let's start off by saying that the senseless loss of life like this is a pointless tragedy. But Aggies seem to excel in things that are pointless.

After the accident, all I saw on TV, read in the paper, or even heard from other Aggies is that it's things like the bonfire collapse that makes Aggies what they are. They'll pull together and get through it, because A&M isn't like any other school and the students and alumni and the administration are the only ones that know what it's like to be an Aggie.

But now, 3 years later, they're suing everyone and everything involved, just like anyone else.

And I haven't seen any mention in any of the Bonfire Memorials about commemorating the blood alcohol levels of any of the people that were there. I'm sure that's a factor that will get lost in Aggie lore, too.

And the memorial in College Station isn't the only tribute to the victims of the bonfire collapse. I'm sure San Antonio isn't the only city in Texas to have some sort of remembrance in connection with the bonfire.

Think how happy the world would be if everyone that died participating in a drunken waste of time had memorials erected and parks named in their honor.

Posted 7/23/2002 02:32:00 PM by Douglas

As you might imagine, this is the hot topic around the water cooler today. It even made the front page of The Chronicle today. (sorry, same story as below, but with new bio info of the accused)

This is just too funny to be true. Some points to ponder:

• How could you possibly think you could fence such stolen goods, on the internet no less, and not get caught?
  
• How did these have clowns have access to irreplaceable moon rocks?
  
• How did two girls get a 600 pound safe into their car?
  
• What about Gordon Sean McWorter? All the other suspects have a short bio, but it just says he's 26? Besides stealing moon rocks, is being 26 years old his life's greatest accomplishment?
  
• And finally, what grade will Saur and Roberts receive from their schools from their Co-op tour? I'd think that if your Co-op tour resulted in Federal jail time, the school is obligated to fail you.

But they may not have been faced with such a dilemma in the past.

Posted 7/22/2002 09:44:00 PM by Douglas

I've always thought that Co-ops are a waste of time. They don't seem to do anything, and they're either too self conscious to try to do anything or to obsessed with their social lives to want to do anything. But here's a story about some idiot thieves that hopefully will do some time for ignorantly trying to steal some very high profile rocks.
Four accused of stealing moon rocks

Posted 7/22/2002 09:24:00 AM by Douglas

Here are some interesting comics regarding the TIPS program. A bit hyperbolic, but hey, there're cartoon. I especially like the Bush Youth.

Ted Rall

Tom Tomorrow

Posted 7/22/2002 07:53:00 AM by Douglas

This guy is a total moron.
Virginia man opens fires on helicopter, thinking occupants are terrorists
Better to err on the side of caution, kids. When you see something unusual, assume that terrorists are involved and run right out into the yard with your rifle. You'll be glad you did.

And what about landing a helicopter in a residential neighborhood? I don't know who John Peters is, or why he thinks he needs curb service, but this sounds like a great way for some pilots to permanently lose their certificates.

Or get shot.

This is what happens when Red Dawn comes on TV the same weekend Budweiser is on sale for $14.99 a case.

Posted 7/20/2002 01:50:00 AM by Douglas

Man, what a joke. I know nothing about the race in Florida, but it's good to see that anyone in leading Reno by double digits. If she were running in my state, I'd vote for YOU before I'd vote for her.
Reno gets her groove on in Florida governor's race

Posted 7/20/2002 12:46:00 AM by Douglas

This is just too good not to post. Someone really spent a lot of time on this little jewel. What a memory jogger for my last 10 years of Simpson's viewing.

Map of Springfield

Posted 7/19/2002 10:07:00 AM by Douglas

"If you can imagine the Discovery Channel for cats. . ."

This was a joke in Scrooged. Just goes to show that nothing is too weird for TV.

Posted 7/19/2002 08:32:00 AM by Douglas

Doing a little reading of 1933 German history, and it's eerily prophetic.
Hitler appointed Chancellor January 30, 1933 by president Hindenburg. February 27, 1933 the Reichstag burns, supposedly at the hands of a Dutch Communist, Marinus van der Lubbe. As a result, president Hindenburg and Hitler invoked Article 48 of the Weimar Constitution, which permitted the suspension of civil liberties during national emergencies. Some examples of this Decree of the Reich President for the Protection of the People and State abrogated the following constitutional protections:

• Free expression of opinion
  
• Freedom of the press
  
• Right of assembly and association
  
• Right to privacy of postal and electronic communications
  
• Protection against unlawful searches and seizures
  
• Individual property rights
  
• States' right of self-government
  

In addition, federal police agencies, the SS (Special Security) and SA (Storm Troops), were created, along with the RHSA, the Reichshauptsicherheitamt, which roughly translates into "Main Office of Homeland Security."

Sound familiar?

Posted 7/19/2002 07:27:00 AM by Douglas

I can see it now: Beauty pageant winners gone wild.
Miss Teen Texas arrested for public intoxication
I guess she makes that whole Vanessa Williams thing look like nothing, but what's funny is that these people actually think this matters. I guess without people like this, there wouldn't be people at the Boat and RV show wearing a sash and a crown, would there?

Sort of reminds me of Drop Dead Gorgeous , but sad instead of funny.
You know that the first runner up is sitting anxiously by the phone.
Brittany Wellsfry, call your office.

Posted 7/18/2002 11:43:00 PM by Douglas

Dang, when some people don't know what satire is
Rio vs. Springfield
This is the best part:

"He understands it is a satire," the agency's Sergio Cavalcanti told Reuters. "What really hurt was the idea of the monkeys -- the image that Rio de Janeiro was a jungle.

Well, then you don't really understand what satire is, do you????

Posted 7/18/2002 11:07:00 PM by Douglas

I don't know why this upset me but it did:


Angelina Jolie files for divorce from Billy Bob Thornton

I think it's pretty tragic when people are so "in love" that they have to adopt a child from a third world country, and then they split up.

Sorry, Kirby, I don't really want to deal with you anymore because the person I thought was my life partner at the time turned out to be a jackass. So you can either go back to the hellish squalor you came from or continue to be batted between me and your other parent until we get tired of you. Then there's Hardcopy, ET, and Access Hollywood. Save your money, Kirby.

Not that these two would do that, but if they didn't, they'd be the first.

I just watched Playing by Heart yesterday, and Angelina Jolie is quite the hottie. Wait, hottie is quite an understatement.

But Billy Bob is "The Man." And I mean that in a good way.
A Simple Plan, Pushing Tin, and not to mention his truly greats, All the Pretty Horses , and of course, Sling Blade. Not to mention his Semi-biographical The Gift

OK, all that being said, why do I think it's bad he's getting divorced for the fifth time? Who knows. I remember hearing how much he lost from wife #3 after he got famous (read: money) from Sling Blade so it's just a bit troubling that such a gifted person has to fill his life with so many unsuccessful marriages. Dude, you don't have to buy the cow to get the milk.

But the most troubling part of this story: She is a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations, and he has a budding singing career??? Who knew?
I knew he was tight with Dwight, but I thought Dwight was getting into film, not the other way around.

Posted 7/18/2002 10:13:00 PM by Douglas

I can't let this post from P.J. O'Rourke get by unnoticed:
The Liberty Manifesto
What a great concept, eh?
There are certainly things that the government can do better than the private sector, but. . .what a second. . .what is that again?
Seriously, there are things an effective government can do better, but the problem is the government has there hands in everything, so there's not many directions you can look and not find some ways to improve the system. But you're not going to solve those problems with more legislation.

Labels: P.J. O'Rourke

Posted 7/17/2002 05:06:00 PM by Douglas

There's a special place in Hell for people like this
It takes a big man to barbque a 7 week old kitten. What on earth was he trying to prove? You always hear that mass murderers start out torturing and killing animals, so it may do this guy well to do some time, although it's doubtful he will.

Posted 7/17/2002 07:19:00 AM by Douglas

Your tax dollar at work
U.S. Jet Mistakenly Drops Munitions

Several ways to look at this one. Maybe the pilots thought they were back in Iraq (or already there) when they were flying over the Monahans Sandhills. It looks just like all the footage of the desert in Iraq that I've ever seen on CNN, and just as many oil wells.

Does anyone know the purpose of dropping dummy bombs? Is it to verify if they'll fall?

Posted 7/16/2002 10:37:00 AM by Douglas

The gunfire in the bus today made me search out this Lileks screed. I don't know why he doesn't have it in his index of screeds, and I got tired of seeing it in my Nyetscape history.
I wouldn't say I'm with him 100% on this one, but the part with the little girl at the end (and the adorable and ironically tragic picture) is quite stirring.

Posted 7/16/2002 09:14:00 AM by Douglas

Is there a term for Joe Bob worship? There should be. This is an old one on Airline Insecurity, but it's brilliant, as usual.

Forget profiling. That was LAME compared to this.

For those that thought that profiling was the ultimate hate crime in this Post 9-11 PC culture.

They’re developing this super-duper airline computer system that can access every single piece of information from your entire life, including your grades in fourth-grade art class and the time you married a Mexican hooker for 48 hours in Juarez, and then analyze it with some kind of Bill Gates Intergalactic Software and determine your “threat rating.”
I’m trying to figure out which is more flattering, because you know people are gonna start braggin about it.
“Hey, man, I scored an 88 on that Columbus-to-Nashville flight. It had to be either the DUIs or the mail-order Cuban cigars.

The best analysis of it so far was by Robert O’Harrow Jr. of The Washington Post, and he talked to a former FAA administrator named Joseph Del Balzo who said: “This is not fantasy stuff. This technology . . . gives us a pretty good idea of what’s going on in a person’s mind.”
Excuse me, but I don’t particularly WANT the FAA to know what’s going on in my mind, especially if I’m fantasizing about the flight attendant. And from what I’ve seen of it so far, my own personal Terrorist Threat Index Ranking is gonna be off the goldurn scale.

Ok, no more quotes. The whole thing is perfect.

Posted 7/16/2002 08:58:00 AM by Douglas

Here's a story of a bird with a vision.

Posted 7/15/2002 02:33:00 PM by Douglas

So I'm reading The Corner today, but jeez, this is just too dang funny;

Quadriplegic Sues Florida Strip Club

This is part of the "slippery slope" that people like to talk about with stuff like the ADA, and under the letter of the law, it is just as valid as any other claim of discrimination against disabled persons.

My question is, if you're a quadriplegic, how are you drinking in a strip club, anyway? I guess you can order every drink with a straw or something. He's also made complaints against a motorcycle shop for not being ADA compliant? How?

I hope this isn't too obvious:

What do you call a Quadriplegic in a strip club?

Randy

Posted 7/15/2002 02:08:00 PM by Douglas

Every time wildlife gets transplanted to areas it has no known predator, really bad things happen to the indigenous wildlife. Frogs in Australia, perfectly spoofed by Bart Simpson, birds on St. Helena,and the Nutria of the Galveston Bay. But this is just plain spooky:

Biologists fear Vietnamese bait

"These worms are spooky," said Julie Thompson, a biologist for the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Chesapeake Bay field office. "I've handled a lot of things, and I don't get creeped out. But these are nasty. I use surgical gloves every time I touch them, and I scrub up afterward."

Man, think how nasty this stuff has to be to scare a biologist? And fishermen are using it for bait! There's a problem waiting to happen.
But what do you expect with something called "the Nuclear worm."

"And at the ports, inspectors have so much to be looking for, especially after 9/11. But ultimately, it's up to the states to regulate what comes in."

Catch that? This is yet another thing that is getting blamed on the terrorism of 9/11.
So, if the Nuke worms destroy the indigenous wildlife of Chesapeake bay, will the terrorists have already won?

Posted 7/12/2002 09:05:00 AM by Douglas

To the uninformed Dr. Cloud advocated a pledge of her own in response to the flap that ensued from the 9th circuit court a few weeks ago.
She's now written a response.

Amazingly, she thinks that the UT campus is comprised of a "tiny left". Apparently she's been drinking too much bong water to realize that political ideology isn't directly linked to research money spent at a public university.
And why would a socialist make such an embrace for democracy? Could it be that there's not much difference? They're both predicated on majority (mob) rule. That's why the white, slave owning men that she likes to admonish instituted a representational republic.

Many people have written that oppression and economic hardship in other countries are caused by bad values, wrong religion or cultural inferiority. But I think it might have to do more with the IMF-imposed policies of production for export over meeting human needs.

I don't think I've read anything this stupid that didn't somehow involve "The Man" or a chant that included the line, "Hey hey, ho ho. . ."

Do these people really believe the reason the rest of the world is poor is because the evil IMF has yet to recognize their need and give them Billions of your money?
Typical viewpoint from the left: there's no problem that can't be solved through the application of ignorant legislation.

Posted 7/12/2002 08:37:00 AM by Douglas

Thinking about becoming a ninja? Well look no further.
This is the funniest thing I've ever seen about "the ultimate power". Seppuku with a frisbee, (If you succeed everybody will be like "Holy Crap!") a brief timeline (Ninjas discover flipping out and thus God gives them dominion over everything totally sweet.)

This guy is hilarious

Posted 7/10/2002 09:09:00 PM by Douglas

There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.
And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you heard it, that meant your ass. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was just a cold-blooded shit to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. See, now I'm thinkin': maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9 millimeter here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness.
Or it could mean, you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd, and it's the world that's evil and selfish.
I'd like that.
But that shit ain't the truth

The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.

Posted 7/10/2002 08:41:00 PM by Douglas

It's OK to trust these people, many of which are ex-military, with a $30 million dollar plane and the lives of hundreds of people, yet they can't operate a pistol?

I'm sure they're not all for it, and by all means they shouldn't be forced to pack some heat, but jeez, what's the hold up here?

cockpit crews should focus on flying planes and let air marshals worry about security.

It's obvious that the "flight crews" have other things on their minds besides peanuts and the inflight movie.

Opponents of the legislation have expressed concern that an errant bullet could kill a passenger or knock out a critical electrical system.

An errant bullet could also kill a terrorists with a 99 cent boxcutter, or a plastic blade they got through the dector.
The debate as it sits now is what is being done now out of genuine security concerns, and what is being done as a superficial patina to calm the public.
Obviously a gun in the cockpit isn't the answer to all the world's problems, but it certainly has more pros than cons.

Posted 7/10/2002 08:15:00 PM by Douglas

How many times are we going to hear about the recording industry pleading with us to stop file sharing so that their Billion dollar bubble won't bust.
Stop Music for Free, Pleads Record Industry

Let's take a look, shall we, at the top 5 albums of 2001. Except for the Beatles, how many of the top 5 can you hum?

I know it's been said before, but maybe if the labels spent more money on talent and less of executives, they wouldn't be in such bad shape. I'm surprised they haven't tried to blame their lack-luster sales on 9-11, like everyone else has.

Posted 7/10/2002 08:51:00 AM by Douglas

Isn't it ironic that in order to quash the perception that he's a freak, Michael Jackson has enlisted the help of the Honorable Reverend Dr. Al Sharpton?

Wacko Jacko says he's no freako

Let's see if I can run this one down: You look like a 14 year old girl, you hang out with 13 year old boys, monkeys, the Elephant Man's bones, Webster, and some Llamas. You married Elvis' daughter and 18 years ago you set a world record for most albums sold and now you're claiming that the system is aligned against you?

Most people that decided to freakishly disfigure themselves usually ensure that they'll hold only the lowliest of jobs. I'm talking about the people with spiderweb tattoos on their faces and the like. He's lucky that he had enough money to get some quality plastic surgery. Again, and again, and again.

Norm McDonald summed it up best when he bombed with a Jacko joke a few years ago on Weekend Update:

You know he's a homosexual pedophile, right?

Sadly, Norm got the boot.

Is he really going to hire Johnny Cochran to sue Sony for opressing him?

Not that's a kind of opression I'd like to see come my way.

Posted 7/10/2002 08:42:00 AM by Douglas

Get in the plane, don't make eye contact, sit down and shut up.

Passenger who made comment about pilots' sobriety escorted off plane

Gee, it's not like you guys had a few drunk pilots a few weeks ago, was it?

Not that the passenger has a right to air travel, and in a more perfect world, the airline could throw off any passenger they wanted. But the airlines are way too PC to try this with a minority.

Yet another shining example of the new security measures implemented at the airport have much more to do with inconvenience than they do with security.

Posted 7/09/2002 12:40:00 PM by Douglas

What is it about dentists/hygienists that want to stick their entire fist in your mouth and then talk to you about their children?

I've long contended that most people don't so much want someone to talk to so much as they want someone to talk at , but this is ridiculous. Talk about a captive audience.

Also, I found out that if you're in the computer for treatment twice a year and you show up in their office three times a year, you will receive exactly nothing unless you point out this lack of synchronization.

Posted 7/09/2002 09:45:00 AM by Douglas

When life imitates SNL

Janet Reno's Dance Party

She was such a good sport when she came on the SNL that last time and broke down the wall like Kool-Aid man, why on earth would she subject herself to such criticism? Does Loren Michales get a cut of this?

Too bad Janet doesn't do Janet Reno as well as Will Ferrell does Janet Reno. I think he'd make a better governor.

Janet is not your typical politician, nor is her campaign for governor a typical campaign," Reno campaign spokeswoman Nicole Harburger said Monday.

Typical? Here in Texas we remember a little thing called Waco, and before 1993, it was famous for Baptists and Dr. Pepper. Now it conjures up all kinds of images of a Seventh Day Adventists sect being attacked. I know that subject has been beaten to death, but I can't believe it hasn't done more to take any wind out of her "for the children" sails.

$25 to hang with Janet, P-Diddy, Rosie and Brittney? If only they'd all be there. . .

Posted 7/09/2002 08:29:00 AM by Douglas

I love to read statements made by Jesse Jackson, just because they're always so entertaining. Jackson raps Bush, Ashcroft
Ok, so Bush and Ashcroft aren't exactly Sonny and Cher, but "the most threatening combination in our lifetime"??? Are you sure you're not be just a tad hyperbolic there, Jesse?

What about Zigfried and Roy?

I had no idea that the NAACP was "nonpartisan, a requirement it must fulfill to keep its tax-exempt status."
Sounds pretty partisan to me. . . .

Posted 7/08/2002 02:10:00 PM by Douglas

I don't want to turn into a Joe Bob page, but damn, he's funny. This is from his Week in Review for last week:

Shares in Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia have dropped 39 percent since Stewart's name was first connected to the ImClone investigation a month ago and she became a one-name tabloid favorite. It's not exactly clear how place mat and comforter sales are related to charges that she may be guilty of insider trading, but she doesn't appear to be too worried: she's still taking a $900,000 salary and a $300,000 annual bonus. This week she did fail to show up for her icebox pie segment on CBS' "The Early Show" after the network told her they were going to grill her instead of watching her grill. Responsible consumers who had pre-chilled their filling were livid.

Gotta love anyone picking on Martha and the decorating industrial complex.

Posted 7/08/2002 02:03:00 PM by Douglas

Yet another sign that 9-11 can be used to curtail anything: Focus Is on Private Plane Security.

The population in general has never liked private planes, and this is just the excuse the FAA is looking for to make general aviation too expensive for anyone. You gotta love quotes like this, though:

Following the Tampa crash, the Federal Aviation Administration ( news - web sites) suggested that separate ignition and door keys be required for private planes, that the planes be secured so they can't be flown without permission, that student pilots check in before getting keys and that employees and pilots be trained to look for suspicious activity.

This, in a genius attempt those stealing aircraft to have to steal two keys. We all know that even if such an idiotic plan was implimented, both keys would be on the same ring.

Man, who thinks of this stuff?

Posted 7/05/2002 02:22:00 AM by Douglas

God Bless Joe Bob. Anyone out there that wants to bring it on about "victemless crimes" and why they should be crimes, go ahead; I need the email. I'll start here:

Too drunk to drive?

And making it illegal to do anything WHILE drunk is just a back-door way of saying you should sip one wine spritzer per day and then go home and have some coffee. It's yet one more example of government trying to legislate lifestyle.

"Zero tolerance" is the solution for people too lazy or stupid to FIGURE IT OUT.

Damn, Joe Bob, I couldn't have said it better.

I desperately want one of these ".08" mother fuckers to explain to me how someone driving home after happy hour at .085, .09, or, God forbid, even .095 is inherently much more dangerous to the general public than idiots with a horsepower to weight ratio greater than their IQ.

Not that I'm against horsepower. But stupid people do stupid things, and there's nothing that MADD can do about that.

No matter how many people they get to cry on camera.

Posted 7/05/2002 01:53:00 AM by Douglas

Junk mail, Spam, telemarketers, I put the all in the same boat. They're all trying to make a buck, and who can't forgive them for that? I knew many people that worked for people that called unsuspecting folks when they least expected it, and I myself was responsible for mailing out sales fliers to every librarian in New Jersey. {how that happened from Austin, Tx, is quite another story}

But what I don't get is the spam. It costs so much less than a phone call or a direct mail campaign that they can blanket the inboxes of unsuspecting hotmail and yahoo users faster than you can say "change my password."

The point of any of this annoying bullshit is this: If no one ever responded to it, it would go away. But for every 15 people a telemarketer pisses off, 1 person buys. So it's cost effective, and another 15 people get pissed off.

With spam, the numbers are obviously much greater, because the cost of spam is so much cheaper. I would venture a guess to say that one in 1,000 people respond to "work at home for $5,000 a day" or "get a dick that touches the ground" or "get a credit card fast" or "refinance now!!!" or "liquid viagria" or the myriad of others I get on a daily basis.

But who in the hell is responding to this crap??? Who checks his email for the 3rd time on a Friday and suddenly realizes, after deleting 14,000 messages about "increasing his penis size" that now is the time to act, and he needs to respond to the 14,001 message that falls into his inbox like a turd in a punchbowl.

What can we do? None of this click here to be removed bullshit. Even if I was looking for liquid viagra or to refinance my mortgage, I would never go with a company (in either case) that randomly emailed indiscriminate names in a list.

Again, maybe it's just me. . . . . .

Posted 7/05/2002 12:39:00 AM by Douglas

Well, the Fourth is over, and nothing happened.

What's worse is everyone reading this knows exactly what I'm talking about. Awh, who am I kidding?? No One is reading this.

Anyhoo, a shooting at one of the nation's busiest airports, and at the ticket counter for the Israeli airline no less. The networks didn't even interrupt their soaps for it. Why, well, that's anyone's guess. I think it gives an added meaning to "terminal", though.

Also in LA a twin engine Cesna crashes into a park and kills 4 people. Last summer everyone would have assumed something was wrong with the plane. This summer everyone immediately asks if the (ex)pilot was wearing a turban.

Still the wrong question, but yet another nail in the coffin of general aviation.

Posted 7/04/2002 01:49:00 PM by Douglas

This is just plain Sad

I really don't want to get carried away with the Aggie bashing, but this really epitomizes the whole thing. The UT/A&M thing has always been a little lop-sided, but there's a reason you won't find a UT casket.

I've seen my share of A&M paraphernalia, such as wedding cakes, tattoos, and of course the ubiquitous car stickers. But a casket? I can't imagine that you choice of college is the culminating moment of your life, as if somehow it adds depth to your character that couldn't be found anywhere else. But admittedly, I'm not an Aggie, and I don't get it.

Sort of like that political ad I saw by the road a few years ago. Someone was running for a local office and they had posters all around town. The posters where Aggie maroon, of course, but at the bottom they had 3 symbols: aTm '73, USMC, and a cross.

So the three most important person that this person wanted you to know about them was, in order, that they were an Aggie first, then a Marine, and finally, a Christian.

He probably won the election.

Posted 7/04/2002 02:42:00 AM by Douglas

Yet more evidence that James Lileks is a genius, and the voice of the new millennium:

This is the greatest nation on earth in the history of the species.

After all you-can-eat catfish buffets coupled with socialized health care for bulimia, who can argue with that?

Here's the link to the Fourth of Lileks

He's got it all right, as usual

Posted 7/04/2002 01:37:00 AM by Douglas

Ever wonder where those suckers came from when you read a story on CNN about a survey revealed some glorious wonderment about our human condition?

Well today I joined the ranks of the surveyed.

As always, the primary concern with these Ph D types is that this information is being held in the utmost confidence. Honestly, I have a bigger problem giving out my SSN than I do with saying when the last time I threatened my wife with a gun or a knife. Maybe that's just me.

But why do all the questions sound the same after you read through them? Am I slightly annoyed by repetition, very annoyed by repetition, very much annoyed by repetition, or am I heaving a lethargic cat through my monitor at this point?

I sure hope whoever reduces the data has a better understanding between "cherish", "adore", and "love" than I do.

Of couse, I don't think they're looking for people that have been with the same chick since high school, are they?

Posted 7/03/2002 01:19:00 PM by Douglas

Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, and as the Apu-esque convenience clerk character said when the Simpsons visited Little Pwagmattasquarmesettport, [Summer of 4 Ft. 2]

"Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it."

We've had the Homeland Security Threat Level for several months now, and it hasn't moved off of "elevated."

Either their is information of a looming threat, in which case the indication should vary accordingly, or they have no idea when and if (not to mention where) the next threat might be, in which case the entire system is totally meaningless.

I think we all know the answer to that one.

Posted 7/03/2002 12:58:00 PM by Douglas

Some will say "Good" to this one, and I'd be hard pressed to disagree, but there's a downside:

Suspected child molester is found beaten

They didn't kill him. Honestly, the guy sounds pretty banged up, so you know he's going to sue. Not just the folks that beat him, but also the Maricopa County for issuing the warrant, the INS for letting him escape, and maybe even the state department. (Allan Dershowitz, call your office)

The truly ironic part about this story is that a suspected child molester was named Mark Adam Younglove.

How weird is that?

Posted 7/03/2002 10:49:00 AM by Douglas

Another reason to love the Amarillo Globe-News. Where else would this story make it to the website, much less actually being printed;

Woman's purse stolen

Also, where, besides The Village Voice , would you find such carefree use of the word "snatched"?

Posted 7/03/2002 09:17:00 AM by Douglas

Joe Bob Briggs is a pure genius, and it doesn't matter what he writes about, I'm gonna read it because he makes it interesting. This time out, it's Cher, a 'performer' I haven't been interested in since, well, ever. But the description of the show at Madison Square Garden is pure Joe Bob
The Tao of Cher

She cracks a whip in a circus mistress outfit, complete with P.T. Barnum Mad Hatter headgear, as the stage swarms with pastel bare-breasted eunuchs in jeweled hats -- (did we just land in the world's biggest gay bar?) -- which gives her just enough time to switch into harem pants and a baby-blue concubine outfit while singing "Baby, It's All About Me Now" while giant psychedelic video screens twirl behind her. It is SO all about her now.

All I can say is that this show shook Madison Square Garden more than any Knicks game in its history, and the sound was so deafening, the bass beat so relentless, that it was all-dancing, all-the-time, like a retro-glam super-rave for people who normally have to take naps in the afternoon. At one point she made some catty remarks about J. Lo and Britney, as if to say, "Let those bitches top THIS!"

So what's funnier: Seeing a 56 year old woman that's comprised of more plastic than the new Corvette gallivanting around in public like a Circus gimp, or seeing Joe Bob in the audience full of people that "normally have to take naps in the afternoon." I would have loved to have seen it, but the show in the audience is probably just as interesting as the trainwreck going on onstage.

Posted 7/02/2002 10:22:00 PM by Douglas

Mom got on the plane for Paris today, so I've been keeping up with the Russian airline crash all day. Probe begins on midair collision

What I don't understand is why every news report has said something like this:

German, Russian and U.S. investigators were en route Tuesday to the scene of Monday night's midair plane collision that killed 71 people, many of them of Russian teen-agers.

"These children were full of hope and full of joy on their way to a holiday," German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder said Tuesday.

It's horrible that a plane load of people crash into a lake, but are we to believe that because they were teenagers their lives were somehow more valuable, or that if they had been 3 or 4 years older thier lives would be less valuable? Would adults not be full of hope and joy?

The great Bill Hicks said it best:

People reach a certain age and suddenly they come off your love list? You either love all people of all ages or shut the hell up.

Or something like that

Posted 7/02/2002 10:01:00 PM by Douglas

No matter what you think about the death penalty, this site has some very sobering information; Texas Death Row

Both sides are represented here. The anti crowd can look at 18 executions this year alone, many of which claim to be innocent, and the pro crowd can look at their information sheets at the horribly unspeakable acts that got these people convicted.

Also, why did so many of them want fried chicken and eggs for their final meal? I guess they're not real concerned with chlosterol.

Posted 7/02/2002 09:41:00 PM by Douglas

Just got done watching What Lies Beneath, and man, was a freaky movie.

I don't really go in for the 'psyco thriller' genre, but this one had me. The sad part about the spoilers in the movie is that it's fairly obvious that Harrison Ford wouldn't waste his time on such a one dimensional character.

Posted 7/02/2002 08:00:00 AM by Douglas

Jonah Goldberg's latest attack on the stupid and lazy really hit home for me :

In some fields, engineering for example, applicants are expected to pass professional tests which only the smart and industrious could possibly pass.

Having just passed this test in the State of Texas, let's just say it's harder than it looks.

Posted 7/02/2002 07:48:00 AM by Douglas

It's so good to hear that the Aggies up upholding that "rich heritage of tradition" that you hear so much of. Fun in College Station

First off, I could care less about hazing, but isn't that what this is? Beating the crap out of someone is assult. Beating the crap out of someone when they want you to IS what hazing is, right?

My favorite part of this is the aggies that complain that this sort of thing is simply "taken out of context."

Ok, please tell me what context you'd like me to take this in, besides the obvious homoerotic one. . . .

Posted 7/02/2002 07:15:00 AM by Douglas

It's a sad day for the Drag.

Hole in the Wall