Posted 2/28/2006 05:45:00 PM by Douglas

A somber note to collectors, and whatever they think will become of their precious collections.

A collectibles researcher in Vera Cruz, Pa., Mr. Rinker, 64, himself collects everything from jigsaw puzzles to antique toilet paper. But he thinks sentimental "accumulators" need a reality check. "Old-timers thought the next generation would love their stuff the way they did," he says. "Well guess what -- it's not happening." He advises: Enjoy your collections, die with them, and have no expectations about anything after that.

A humbling thought to what your kids are going to do with your crap, just like you did with your parent's crap. I'm a big a fan of nostalgia as the next guy, but if we all hung on to the same mastodon skins, we'd still be eating off the same flattened rocks that our simian ancestors did. At some point we have to cast it all aside and make our own lives, just like our ancestors did, and if that means that the Wedgwood goes in the garage sale with the Star Wars figures, then so be it. Tomorrow is another day.

Posted 2/26/2006 12:37:00 PM by Douglas

What a great way to keep tabs on a guy that would make an asinine statement like "If you're not doing anything wrong, you don't have anything to worry about." Here's a good first step, having four million videotape vigilantes following you around to make sure you don't do anything wrong.

When Matt Asher, a 32-year-old Medford, Ore., Web site designer, read a wire service report on Hurtt's comments in a local newspaper, he was moved to create the "Hurtt Prize" for "the first person who can provide definitive videotaped evidence of Houston police chief Harold Hurtt committing a crime, any crime."The reward stands at more than $1,400 — $1,000 from Asher and the balance pledged by readers of his Web site, www.hurttprize.org.

First of all, the chief of police shouldn't be breaking any laws anyway, but if he's got a problem with people videotaping him from the moment he steps out of his house in the morning until the instant he returns home at night, maybe it's time for him to re-think this whole surveillance camera bullshit.

Posted 2/26/2006 12:34:00 PM by Douglas

I still have no idea why any congressman would agree to do an interview with Stephen Colbert, but they are all freakin' hilarious.

Self-deprecation is often in short supply in Washington. But Mr. Colbert, playing the deadpan reporter in his "Better Know a District" segments, is injecting a new levity into politics. Tongue firmly in cheek, he is on a quest to interview — or lampoon — all 434 members of the House. (The man who held the 435th seat, the disgraced California Republican Randy Cunningham, "is dead to me," Mr. Colbert declared.)

[...]

It might sound like just another silly comedy shtick, and Mr. Colbert, whose show is a spinoff of "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart," insists he is only trying to make himself "look like an idiot." Yet his work has a strain of anthropology. As he assembles a dupes' gallery, Mr. Colbert is showing a national audience what veteran Congress-watchers already know: the members are painfully, embarrassingly human. It is called the People's House for a reason.

At the same time, the show reveals an essential truth about Washington: being humiliated on national television can be better than not being on national television at all.

I can't wait to see Ron Paul on the show when he finally gets around to Texas' fightin' 14^th

Posted 2/26/2006 12:18:00 PM by Douglas

The State of Minnesota: Looking out for its citizens in this time of sky-rocketing gas-prices.

The Minnesota Commerce Department on Thursday announced plans to fine a gas station chain $140,000 for repeatedly selling gas below the state's legal minimum price.

The fine against Midwest Oil of Minnesota is twice as large as any imposed on a company since 2001, when the state established a formula based on wholesale prices, fees and taxes to determine a daily floor for gas prices.

The price law was intended to prevent large oil companies from driving smaller competitors out of business, but some critics argue it fails to protect consumers.

As with the case with most bad laws, if you squint hard enough you can kinda make out their intent here (big company, sells on the cheap, kills competition, jacks up prices), but it's hard to imagine how anyone selling a commodity like gasoline too cheaply. Still, if the state sets a "minimum legal price" and you intentionally sell below that price, you're asking for trouble. Stupid laws don't get corrected by simply ignoring them.

Posted 2/26/2006 12:12:00 PM by Douglas

I don't think there's anyway to put butter on it without looking like a total perv.

An artist who baked a life-size model of her own naked body out of bread dough will watch her audience eat it at an exhibition.

Sharon Baker - her real name - used 24 eggs for the bread body, which weighed 36 kilos before it was cooked.

Ms Baker, 45, from Epsom, Surrey baked the model in the biggest oven she could find at Brooklands College, Weybridge.

The 5ft 3in loaf of bread, baked on Friday, will be shown at an exhibition in London's Docklands on Sunday.

And her name was Sharon Baker. You just can't make this shit up.

Posted 2/26/2006 12:09:00 PM by Douglas

They just always seem to know what cars to search.

A traffic stop Wednesday afternoon ended with a stay in the Carson County Jail for two Arizona women, according to the Texas Department of Public Safety.

Troopers stopped an eastbound 2006 Lincoln Town Car for a traffic violation along Interstate 40 about a mile east of Groom at 3:30 p.m. Wednesday, reports show.

Troopers searched the car, finding 90 pounds of marijuana - worth more than $53,000 - stuffed in suitcases in the trunk, the DPS said.

This same story makes the paper about once a week in Amarillo, so considering the number of cars driving across Texas on I-40, the DPS must be incredibly lucky in determining which cars to search, or there's something else going on here.

Labels: I-40 Drug Bust

Posted 2/26/2006 11:43:00 AM by Douglas

Something to be said for the least populated county in the nation. And that would have to be bat-shit crazy.

The material described the plans of a Libertarian faction in its own words "to win most of the elected offices in the county administration" and "restore to freedom" Loving County. The blueprint, called "Restoring Loving County," said that land was hard to come by but that a ranch had been split up and members were in the process of buying sections.

"The people who are living there will be able to register to vote," it said. "They must swear that they intend to make Loving their home."

The goal, said an e-mail message attributed to a group member, was to move in enough Libertarians "to control the local government and remove oppressive regulations (such as planning and zoning, and building code requirements) and stop enforcement of laws prohibiting victimless acts among consenting adults such as dueling, gambling, incest, price-gouging, cannibalism and drug handling."

And there's where the Libertarian cause falls apart. I think most people wouldn't argue with the Libertarian stance of less taxes and less government involvement, but when you throw out incest and cannibalism, that tends to alienate some folks.

Still, despite this piece National Geographic did on Mentone a few years ago, even the term "West Texas" will conjure up an ideal of people, bless their hearts, that just ain't right. Whether it's a Mormon cult in San Angelo, or a Prada store in Marfa, the area draws and retains people that march to the beat of a different drummer. And let's not forget about the castration of the alcoholic mayor of Lajitas, who happened to be a goat.

Posted 2/22/2006 05:28:00 PM by Douglas

Wow, what an amazingly realistic, if totally un-PC article regarding the hurricane refugees still stuck in Houston.

New Orleans doesn't want its poorest residents back — unless they agree to work.

That was the message from three New Orleans City Council members who said government programs have "pampered" the city's residents for too long.

The news that some New Orleans City Council members weren't keen on the city's poorest returning home added another layer of discomfort in Houston, where local residents and elected officials alike have stretched to meet the needs of thousands of Louisiana residents in the months after Hurricane Katrina.

Chief among the complaints: Houston didn't discriminate when New Orleanians — from the poorest to the richest — filled this city's homes, hotels, motels and shelters. And Houston didn't flinch when nearly 100,000 evacuees needed subsidized housing for up to a year. So why, asked one Houston city councilman, are only the educated, healthy and employable welcome back in New Orleans?

Man, what balls. Like the man says, Houston didn't get to pick what people showed up at the dome last September. So Katrina flushes the pot in New Orleans and we're stuck with all the turds?

"We don't need soap opera watchers right now," said New Orleans City Council President Oliver Thomas, during a housing committee meeting. "We're going to target the people who are going to work. It's not that I'm fed up, but that at some point there has to be a whole new level of motivation, and people have got to stop blaming the government for something they ought to do."

Something tells me this is not an effective way to motivate people to get off their ass and get to work.

Labels: New Orleans

Posted 2/22/2006 05:09:00 PM by Douglas

Here's to you, Michael Huff. Here's to you for daring to dream the impossible dream

The first house I buy will be the one with the blue roof on it that says "IHOP." It has been a dream of mine to own my own International House of Pancakes, and someday I will. Just last week I ate there five or six times, and about every time I got the same thing, pancakes and shrimp. It's a cool feeling to know that someday I'll get to eat at my IHOP whenever I want.

I'm no NFL millionaire, but I can go to an IHOP anytime I want, too. There are two within five miles from my house. I'm so blessed.

Posted 2/20/2006 05:54:00 PM by Douglas

Why is a state government telling a private corporation not what it can sell, but what it must sell?

The state pharmacy board ordered Wal-Mart on Tuesday to stock emergency contraception pills at its stores in Massachusetts.

Massachusetts becomes second state to require the world's largest retailer to carry the morning-after pill.

A Wal-Mart spokesman said the company would comply with the directive by the Massachusetts Board of Pharmacy and is reviewing its nationwide policy on the drug.

Why? What's the difference between Massachusetts forcing Wal-Mart to sell it and Louisiana prohibiting Wal-Mart from selling it? That's just nutty, but one thing's for sure: I can't spell Massachusetts or Louisiana without a spellchecker.

Posted 2/20/2006 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

Dr. Pepper or Coke, one thing is certain: Sugar tastes better than high fructose corn syrup and everyone knows it.

There's at least one place where the iconic caramel-colored fizz of American Coca-Cola doesn't reign supreme, and it's deep in the heart of Coke country.

At Las Tarascas Latino Supermarket, 30 miles from the soft drink giant's world headquarters in Atlanta, store manager Eric Carvallo adjusts prized bottles of Mexican Coke displayed at the front of the store.

He then points over his shoulder to a noticeably smaller display of American Cokes tucked in the corner.

Carvallo says his store goes through 10 to 15 cases of Mexican Coke a week – his entire stock – while he's barely able to push five cases of the domestic version.

"Sometimes I have it left over," he said of the domestic Coke he orders. "Sometimes a case, case and a half. So it's a lot of difference."

Taste is the main reason why his discriminating shoppers buy Mexican Coke – they say the cane sugar sweetener used in Mexican Coke has a sweeter, cleaner flavor than the high-fructose corn syrup in the American version. Many are willing to pay $1.10 per 12-ounce bottle for the imports, even with cans of American Coke sitting nearby for 49 cents each.

"You drink it and taste it – it's something you tasted all your life," said Carvallo, referring to the many immigrants who prefer Mexican Coke.

Hey, if corn syrup is bad, it's bad. Don't blame this on the Mexicans. If only there was another example of an original bottler that held on to the cane sugar model. Better still if it were in Texas. Oh wait, there is, and it's in Dublin, Texas.

At least one American bottling plant has found success catering to soda gourmets who prefer cane sugar sweeteners.

The Dublin Dr Pepper bottling plant in Texas has been producing Dr Pepper using the original cane sugar recipe for 114 years as the soft drink's first franchise bottler.

The bottler's creative director, Jeff Pendleton, said its allegiance to the original recipe while selling the drinks at regular Dr Pepper prices has been less profitable for the small, family-owned operation but has earned it a strong following.

"Profit is a factor, but it's not the only factor," Pendleton said. "Sticking with quality has been beneficial to us. The idea to sell more for a lower price and use cheaper ingredients, that's what everybody else does."

I defy anyone that's ever had a real Dr. Pepper to say they can't tell the difference, and that a corn syrup coke doesn't taste like a dog's ass in comparison. But there's American Marketing for you at its very best: Give 'em dog's ass, because it will save us 1.7¢ per truckload, and 84.4% of the masses won't tell the difference, anyway.

Posted 2/20/2006 05:43:00 PM by Douglas

Houston Police Chief Hurtt steps in it. I can foresee this phrase becoming its own category here at the blog: "If you're not doing anything wrong, you don't have anything to worry about."

Houston's police chief on Wednesday proposed placing surveillance cameras in apartment complexes, downtown streets, shopping malls and even private homes to fight crime during a shortage of police officers.

"I know a lot of people are concerned about Big Brother, but my response to that is, if you are not doing anything wrong, why should you worry about it?" Chief Harold Hurtt told reporters Wednesday at a regular briefing.

Houston is facing a severe police shortage because of too many retirements and too few recruits, and the city has absorbed 150,000 hurricane evacuees who are filling apartment complexes in crime-ridden neighborhoods. The City Council is considering a public safety tax to pay for more officers.

Building permits should require malls and large apartment complexes to install surveillance cameras, Hurtt said. And if a homeowner requires repeated police response, it is reasonable to require camera surveillance of the property, he said.

Every jurisdiction uses this excuse for crap like this, but is it necessary, or even effective? Doesn't matter, 'cause here's the deal. When the people that decided "what's wrong" are the same ones with access to all the surveillance data, whether or not you have something to worry about lies completely within their discretion.

Posted 2/20/2006 05:29:00 PM by Douglas

It's been a while since the blog has railed against ethanol as a fuel, I thought it was time to update based on Bush's remarks today.

Bush said he envisioned a future in which a plug-in hybrid car could drive 40 miles on a lithium-ion battery, then stop at a filling station for ethanol, a fuel usually made from corn.

"We're close to having this vision realized in America," Bush said. The trip could be conducted without consuming a drop of oil, he said.

Let's start with the "plug-in" aspect of that statement. Where does that electricity come from (and please don't say "the wall"). It comes, most likely, from a coal or gas fired boiler spinning a steam turbine. Sooo, instead of the exhaust coming out the tailpipe, it's coming out a huge stack in a power plant many miles away. Except there's probably a third more of it, since the inherent losses when the energy changes form and is transferred down the wire.

Now moving on to ethanol. While it has been quite successful in powering the blog in the past years (thanks go to Mr. Beam, Mr. Smirnoff, and Mr. Seagram) it has proven a dismal approach to renewable energy. I thought I was done ranting about this, but it looks like this topic is never going to go away. One more time: Distilling ethanol uses more energy than it creates. The only reason this is even an option is because the Fed pays corn farmers to grow it whether there's a market for it or not. If the ethanol crowd actually had to pay for the corn they distill, they'd see any profits go up through their condensing stacks along with any practical feasibility.

You can't get something out of nothing, whether it's on the Arabian Peninsula or in an ear of corn.

Posted 2/20/2006 05:16:00 PM by Douglas

Who knows what led up to the probable cause that allowed DPS to search this stucco machine, but one thing is for sure. These guys are never going to get their $80,000 back.

Two California men could face money laundering charges after authorities found more than $80,000 stashed in a stucco machine they were towing Monday, according to the Texas Department of Public Safety.

Troopers stopped a 2006 Ford F-150 pickup on a traffic violation along Interstate 40 about noon Monday, reports show.

The driver gave troopers permission to search the truck. Troopers found the money after a DPS narcotics dog alerted to something while sniffing a compartment on the stucco machine, Trooper Daniel Hawthorne said.

You never hear about why these weekly seizures are initiated along I-40, but the police have an uncanny ability to pull over the right vehicle and initiate a search. Kinda makes you wonder.

He's a great experiment for someone that has some connections at the ACLU: Drive around the country's interstate highways with $10,000 in cash, new bills, the ones with the magnetic strips in them, and see how quickly local law enforcement deems your cash "drug money." I'd try it myself, but I don't want to lose 10 grand.

Posted 2/20/2006 05:04:00 PM by Douglas

For David Irving, his unpopular opinion only landed him three years in jail instead of ten.

Right-wing British historian David Irving was sentenced to three years in prison Monday after admitting to an Austrian court that he denied the Holocaust — a crime in the country where Hitler was born.

Irving, who pleaded guilty and then insisted during his one-day trial that he now acknowledged the Nazis' World War II slaughter of 6 million Jews, had faced up to 10 years behind bars. Before the verdict, Irving conceded he had erred in contending there were no gas chambers at the Auschwitz concentration camp.

Let's recap, shall we? "Freedom of speech" means that unpopular opinions, no matter how painful, are protected the most. Popular speech doesn't need protection.

Posted 2/19/2006 05:49:00 PM by Douglas

In some parts of the world, massive riots and bloodshed erupts when the freedoms of free speech isn't appreciated. In other parts, they just lock up people with differing opinions.

A right-wing British historian goes on trial Monday on charges of denying the Holocaust occurred — a crime punishable by up to 10 years' imprisonment in this country once run by the Nazis.

The trial of David Irving opens amid fresh — and fierce — debate over freedom of expression in Europe, where the printing and reprinting of unflattering cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad has triggered violent protests worldwide.

Irving was arrested Nov. 11 in the southern Austrian province of Styria on a warrant issued in 1989 and charged under a federal law that makes it a crime to publicly diminish, deny or justify the Holocaust.

Sooo. . . amid all the backlash from "the cartoon", Europeans themselves only enjoy "freedom of speech" when it doesn't cut too closely to the state's accepted status quo, and that is that the Holocaust of European Jews in the mid 20th century is the greatest tragedy in the history of the Earth. I wish there was a way to disagree with that statement without sounding anti-Semitic, but sadly, we get back to that status quo thing.

Look, Stalin alone killed more of his only people than Hitler did, and if you add Mao in those number, the figures go through the roof. But if you want to go by pure percentages, Pol Pot has 'em all beat, even though his total number was still down in the single digit millions of people.

I have no idea about this Irving guy. He may be the most evil and racist person on the planet. But if there's one thing the cartoon debacle has taught us, it's that popular speech doesn't need to be protected, and if this guy is a total crackpot, the way to deal with him is to prove him wrong. Throwing him in the clink with the rest of the mullahs doesn't prove a damn thing.

Posted 2/19/2006 05:13:00 PM by Douglas

Space Shuttle Program to pull resources from junk yard rather to continue to maintain three healthy vehicles, or: OV-104 to be 86'ed before next OMDP

With just 17 or so flights left on the shuttle manifest before the program is terminated in 2010, NASA's three remaining orbiters can only expect to fly about five missions each. As it turns out, NASA now plans to retire Atlantis in 2008, after five flights, rather than put it through a required overhaul and to "fly out" the remaining half-dozen missions on the manifest with Discovery and Endeavour.

"Atlantis will be coming due for an OMDP (orbiter maintenance down period) in the '08 time frame," Hale said. "And we looked the manifest and laid it out and we believe we can fly the '08, '09 and '10 time frame with Discovery and Endeavour.

"Discovery just came out of OMDP and Endeavour is just about to come out of OMDP. So it looks like the right thing to do is not to put Atlantis through another OMDP, which would get it ready to go fly maybe just at the very end, in 2010, but rather use it was a parts donor, if that's the word, for the other vehicles."

So that leaves 12 flights for OV-105 and 103? What impact does that have to ground processing with just having two, count 'em, two vehicles? Are we gonna fly this thing enough to complete the ISS or not?

Posted 2/19/2006 05:07:00 PM by Douglas

"Folk art for the digital age."

"Everyone's a little narcissistic," Ms. Adams said. "Being able to take pictures of yourself in privacy allows you to do it without inhibitions. Each person takes better pictures of themselves than anyone else can because they know their own bodies, they know their own minds."

The era of cheap, lightweight digital cameras — in cellphones, in computers, in hip pockets, even on key chains — has meant that people who did not consider themselves photography buffs as recently as five years ago are filling ever-larger hard drives with thousands of images from their lives.

And one particular kind of image has especially soared in popularity, particularly among the young: the self-portrait, which has become a kind of folk art for the digital age.

When I got my first digicam, I asked everyone I knew (that already had one or two) what their first picture was. No one could remember. I had a different plan. I wanted to see what something looked like. And, I didn't want to "see myself in the mirror with my eyes closed" as the They Might Be Giants song goes. But I took an interesting picture, something I would have never done with my 35mm, and then it was quickly deleted. And I think that's the huge difference with digital photography. You'll take a picture of something you'd have never wasted film on. But now, it's so easy, and hard drive space is so cheep. So snap away, but remember to delete the really bad (or incriminating) ones.

Posted 2/17/2006 05:43:00 PM by Douglas

One problem with blogging is that I tend to read an inordinate amount of crap online. Mostly news type stuff, but it's stories like this that really question the need for 24 hour news outlets.

The corpses of at least 20 newborn babies and fetuses are found each week in the sewers of Zimbabwe's capital, some having been flushed down toilets, Harare city authorities said, according to state media Friday.

That's troubling, to say the least, but let's hear from the Town Clerk, Nomutsa Chideya, for the really alarming part:

"Apart from upsetting the normal flow of waste, it is not right from a moral standpoint. Some of the things that are happening now are shocking," the state Herald, a government mouthpiece, reported Chideya as saying.

Maybe I'm being overly sentimental, but I'd nominate that one for the understatement of the year. Perhaps if your city's infrastructure can't cope with the number of human fetuses in the public sewer system, maybe your primary problem isn't related to plumbing.

Posted 2/17/2006 05:35:00 PM by Douglas

"Yes, he could be a Lloyd."

"Jake Ryan is dessert, and Lloyd Dobler is like the vegetables you need," says Sasha Johnson, 29, a Washington TV producer. "Lloyd Dobler ruined men forever. I can't take total credit for this, an ex-boyfriend said this to me once. He contended that Lloyd Dobler's boombox moment became the pinnacle of romance -- the standard that no man could ever meet no matter how hard he tried. I've always loved Lloyd Dobler and have grown to appreciate him more as the years have gone on . . . the guy in high school that no woman wanted but ultimately now the kind of man we want to marry.

"He had that right mix of self-assuredness, sensitivity and geekiness. He was willing to make an insanely bold gesture to get the woman of his dreams back -- something every woman wishes could happen to her."

[. . .]

"Fake love is a very powerful thing," Klosterman observes. "I once loved a girl who almost loved me, but not as much as she loved John Cusack. . . . It appears that countless women born between the years of 1965 and 1978 are in love with John Cusack. . . . But here's what none of these upwardly mobile women seem to realize: They don't love John Cusack. They love Lloyd Dobler. When they see Mr. Cusack, they are still seeing the optimistic, charmingly loquacious teenager he played in 'Say Anything.' . . .

Why is it that women are actually compelled by men in movies that actually act like, oh, I don't know, men? Sometimes childish and impulsive, yet more attractive than the typical balless putz in your average chick-flick.

On a side note, the wife asked what movies we'd be getting from netflix this weekend when I grabbed a CD player, held it over my head and started singing "In your eyes." She couldn't remember the name of the movie, song, or even that it was John Cusack (at first) but she laughed her ass off, and I think, if just for a moment, swooned.

Posted 2/17/2006 05:00:00 PM by Douglas

This damn thing is amazing. Is it just me, or does it look like a huge cheese slicer?

Posted 2/16/2006 05:37:00 PM by Douglas

Through some superhero ability that only he understands, Cheney once again exhibiting he has a massive set of balls. And no, I'm not talking about Dick Cheney Shot a lawyer in the face-gate. I'm referring to his involvement in the Valerie/Scooter affair.

Vice President Dick Cheney said Wednesday that an executive order gives him the authority to declassify secret documents, but he would not say whether he authorized an indicted former aide to release classified information.

Cheney's former chief of staff, Lewis "Scooter" Libby, told a grand jury he was "authorized by his superiors" to disclose classified information from an intelligence estimate on Iraq to reporters, the special prosecutor investigating the 2003 leak of a CIA agent's identity told Libby's attorneys. The prosecutor, Patrick Fitzgerald, did not identify who those "superiors" are.

Let's review, shall we?

• Cheney did nothing wrong.
• If he did (which he didn't), it fell well within his executive order, which includes revealing the identity of a covert CIA agent's identity, who was then overseas.

Yep, makes sense to me. And it makes even more sense that the public/media is more concerned about whether his hunting license is current. What a bunch of sheep.

Posted 2/16/2006 05:24:00 PM by Douglas

I generally try, just out of general principle, to avoid any of the transpirings of the Olsen twins. But sometimes I just get caught up in the moment. Apparently they're doing some print ads for Badgley Mischka, whoever the hell that is. I just thought I could caption this picture a little more candidly:

"Two anorexic crack-whores from Anne Rice's next movie pose for print ads for some designer no one could possibly afford that will appear in next month's "Who Gives a Shit" magazine."

Posted 2/16/2006 05:17:00 PM by Douglas

Some people told me that this game is kinda mean. Ida know, I thought it was funny, but this guy is definitely a jerk.

Posted 2/16/2006 05:15:00 PM by Douglas

Why not call 'em "burning embassies?"

Iranians love Danish pastries, but when they look for the flaky dessert at the bakery they now have to ask for "Roses of the Prophet Muhammad."

Bakeries across the capital were covering up their ads for Danish pastries Thursday after the confectioners' union ordered the name change in retaliation for caricatures of the Muslim prophet published in a Danish newspaper.

Why not?

Posted 2/16/2006 05:07:00 PM by Douglas

The RIAA, not content with merely marching towards their inevitable obsolescence have decided to spend some of their legal fees on some kind of super-sonic transporter that will take them right off the map of viability.

As part of the on-going DMCA rule-making proceedings, the RIAA and other copyright industry associations submitted a filing that included this gem as part of their argument that space-shifting and format-shifting do not count as noninfringing uses, even when you are talking about making copies of your own CDs:

"Nor does the fact that permission to make a copy in particular circumstances is often or even routinely granted, necessarily establish that the copying is a fair use when the copyright owner withholds that authorization. In this regard, the statement attributed to counsel for copyright owners in the MGM v. Grokster case is simply a statement about authorization, not about fair use."

If I understand what the RIAA is saying, "perfectly lawful" means "lawful until we change our mind."

Record companies, your days are numbered, and sure, you're going to blame your demise on "the internets", but more honestly it's your litigious and even Luddite-like attitude that will have driven you into the ground like a tent stake in loose sand.

Labels: RIAA

Posted 2/15/2006 05:29:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting link about some sci-fi movies and where they went wrong. I link for one reason: George Lucas bashing:

It's not just that we knew how the story ended when we walked into the theater (me, I would have killed off Obi-Wan in Episode II just to fuck with you). It's that this isn't the interesting part of the saga. Adolf Hitler's childhood wasn't interesting. So Darth Vader used to be a wooden, whining kid. Fascinating. The pre-rebellion galaxy was embroiled in a series of boring bureaucratic disputes. Great, George. Tell me more!

He should have made the sequels, damn it. And he should have done them right away, when he had the original cast. With a good sequel, you can expand your universe, introduce new characters, explore more of the existing ones, take what we know and push it in radical new directions. With a prequel, all that imagination is devoted to devising ways to shoehorn the existing characters into the old story, to pretend they all knew each other back then. The universe gets smaller as we find out that every page of history contains the same dozen names. The fantastic, magical universe starts to seem like something some guy just sat down and wrote.

And I'll continue to link to these stories until Lucas apologizes or 'till those three dreadful movies are completely erased from America's collective consciousness.

Posted 2/15/2006 01:25:00 PM by Douglas

I'm going to have to look at this later when I have more time, but this site exemplifies all that's good and bad about the internets. That being said, I must link to the site of historical space suits. Lots of things of interest here, but I find the collection of fire hydrants particularly alarming. Ha!

Posted 2/14/2006 05:48:00 PM by Douglas

Time for a confession. I love Judge Judy. I love the way she takes the most obvious thing in the case, the elephant in the punchbowl if you will, and throws it right back at the person that thinks they don't owe their ex-girlfriend $1,400 anymore just because they don't "feel like" paying it back. She's spent the last ten years telling idiots what they already know,and for that, I thank her.

For Judy Sheindlin, marking her 10th season as the star of one TV's top-rated syndicated shows, watched by 10 million people daily, enforcing justice is a full-time job. Her grandchildren may enjoy some slack; all others, watch out.

Her unshakable mantra is personal responsibility. It's a position that played well when her show began and may be even more beguiling in a time vexed by the forces of war and terror. The real power is yours, Sheindlin tells us; who wouldn't want to believe?

Is there any stronger voice in the world than that of a rational person telling idiots what they know to be true yet cannot accept? I think not.

Posted 2/14/2006 05:25:00 PM by Douglas

Happy Valentine's Day!

Posted 2/13/2006 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

RUN! It's Dick Cheney, and he's got a gun!

Possibly the worst part of this story (yet I can't find any corroboration of this in the deluge of news stories about the event) is that this hunting party was shooting from the front bumper of a slow moving pickup, but only after the seeder truck drove through an hour before baiting the quail out for a snack.

Because it takes a real sportsman to shoot a hungry animal looking for food. Almost as easy as shooting a fat guy at the Golden Coral. Now there's a thought. . . .

Oh yeah, and the other bad part of this story? Lawyer season in Texas isn't for three more weeks.

Also, I can't help but think that Ted Kennedy's 1967 Oldsmobile Delmont 88 is sitting in a junk yard laughing its ass off. "I didn't do nuthin' this time, bitches, I don't even have a trigger!"

Aaron Burr called. . he wants his real scandal back.

Posted 2/13/2006 05:04:00 PM by Douglas

Say it with me. . . RFID tags. We're going to be hearing a lot more about these things in the near future. But not nearly as much as these people, since they voluntarily had them implanted under their skin. [Thanks, long-time reader!]

An Ohio company has embedded silicon chips in two of its employees - the first known case in which US workers have been “tagged” electronically as a way of identifying them.

CityWatcher.com, a private video surveillance company, said it was testing the technology as a way of controlling access to a room where it holds security video footage for government agencies and the police.

Embedding slivers of silicon in workers is likely to add to the controversy over RFID technology, widely seen as one of the next big growth industries.

RFID chips – inexpensive radio transmitters that give off a unique identifying signal – have been implanted in pets or attached to goods so they can be tracked in transit.

In college, I joked that I was going to have my social security number tattooed somewhere so I could stop giving it out to every University office that asked for it. But I realized that if I voluntarily got the tattoo, it would undoubtedly be in the wrong place when it was made mandatory, and I've to get it tattooed again, and I'm just up for that. Who knew that barcodes were going to be so 20^th century. . . .

Posted 2/12/2006 03:17:00 PM by Douglas

Read the rental agreement on your next car closely. They may be tracking you from space and fine you for traffic violations:

James Turner was shocked when he found $450 deducted from his bank account for speeding, especially since the fine wasn’t levied by police or the courts, but by the company that rented Turner a minivan for his weekend road trip.

Turner's court challenge of the rental company penalty drew him Connecticut’s consumer protection agency into the fray, and has sparked a hearing on the case. But the Canadian company which supplied the technology for tracking Turner’s trip said linking commercial vehicles to satellites for corporate and consumer protection is the wave of the future and has refused to halt the practice.

Wow. I can see lots of uses for this technology, and it's perfect for car rental companies. It's their car. . they have a right to know where it is and how fast it's going (I'm just glad my dad didn't have this when I was 17). But it quite alarming to think that someone is watching you when you only find out about later.

Posted 2/12/2006 03:16:00 PM by Douglas

Here's yet another thing to get your tin foil hat all wound up about: smart dust.

Picture being able to scatter hundreds of tiny sensors around a building to monitor temperature or humidity. Or deploying, like pixie dust, a network of minuscule, remote sensor chips to track enemy movements in a military operation.

"Smart dust" devices are tiny wireless microelectromechanical sensors (MEMS) that can detect everything from light to vibrations. Thanks to recent breakthroughs in silicon and fabrication techniques, these "motes" could eventually be the size of a grain of sand, though each would contain sensors, computing circuits, bidirectional wireless communications technology and a power supply. Motes would gather scads of data, run computations and communicate that information using two-way band radio between motes at distances approaching 1,000 feet.

I can't imagine what could possibly go wrong with that!

Posted 2/12/2006 03:09:00 PM by Douglas

Don't go hunting with Cheney unless you want to get shot in the face.

Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a campaign contributor during a weekend quail hunt on a friend's South Texas ranch, local authorities and the vice president's office said Sunday.

Armstrong, who was with the group when the accident occurred, said Whittington was "peppered" with birdshot. Pellets hit him in the face and chest, but he never lost consciousness, she said.

Way to go, Elmer Fudd.

Posted 2/12/2006 02:52:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting article on the demise of the telegram.

The telegram was soon embedded in American popular culture; it showed up at critical moments in plays and movies. In 1933, Western Union introduced the singing telegram and became the source of a famously macabre joke: A woman, finding a Western Union messenger at the door, exclaims: "Great, I've always wanted a singing telegram." No, she's told, it's just a regular telegram. The woman pleads. The messenger finally sings.

DUM DE DUM DUM DUM. YOUR SISTER ROSE IS DEAD.

Ha!

Posted 2/12/2006 02:50:00 PM by Douglas

I don't, uh, get it

Here in the remoteness of West Texas, where rodeo means bulls and broncos, there's a tiny store emblazoned with the name Prada that's more akin to Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. The place turns motorists' heads as they speed along this wide-open, desolate stretch of U.S. 90.

Called Prada Marfa, the solitary building is adorned with canvas awnings carrying the logo of the nearly century-old Italian fashion house. Inside, 20 high-heeled women's shoes and a half dozen handbags — some in the four-figure price range — are on display. But the "store" about 150 miles southeast of El Paso is intended as a work of art. It's to be seen, not shopped in.

Why?

"A Prada store in the middle of nowhere?" she asked incredulously. "This is awesome. I'm a little disappointed I can't buy anything."

They have a horrible website, too.

Posted 2/12/2006 02:43:00 PM by Douglas

I really like cats but there was just something about this picture that cracked me up.

Posted 2/11/2006 04:40:00 PM by Douglas

Even more readings about the beast:

The Pentagon is constructing a computer system that could create a vast electronic dragnet, searching for personal information as part of the hunt for terrorists around the globe -- including the United States.

As the director of the effort, Vice Adm. John M. Poindexter, has described the system in Pentagon documents and in speeches, it will provide intelligence analysts and law enforcement officials with instant access to information from Internet mail and calling records to credit card and banking transactions and travel documents, without a search warrant.

In order to deploy such a system, known as Total Information Awareness, new legislation would be needed, some of which has been proposed by the Bush administration in the Homeland Security Act that is now before Congress. That legislation would amend the Privacy Act of 1974, which was intended to limit what government agencies could do with private information.

What could possibly go wrong?

''A lot of my colleagues are uncomfortable about this and worry about the potential uses that this technology might be put, if not by this administration then by a future one,'' said Barbara Simon, a computer scientist who is past president of the Association of Computing Machinery. ''Once you've got it in place you can't control it.''

Well, duh. And you just gotta love the logo.

From the book:

"One of the remarkable things about ideas is that once you surface an idea and it is a good idea, in the long term there is very little that can be done to stop it," Poindexter said confidently. "So I am convinced that research and development will continue, one way or another."

Scary shit, and the genie isn't going to get back in the bottle. Ever.

Posted 2/11/2006 04:38:00 PM by Douglas

I know the world is eagerly awaiting the blog to weigh in on the Danish cartoon fiasco, but I just don't have it in me, and way too much ink has been used on it already. Not surprisingly, I think I totally agree with Radley on this one. Freedom of speech is a legal argument, not a moral one, and just because the paper can print anything it wants to, doesn't mean it should. From the beginning of this, the motivation of the cartoons were incitefull. Did the paper get the response it expected? Probably not, but it certainly wasn't shocking that these people reacted the way they did. But regardless of what Coulter says, you can abhor the destruction that followed while at the same time question the editorial judgment of the paper without signing up for your local neighborhood al Qaeda chapter.

Posted 2/11/2006 04:30:00 PM by Douglas

Netflix users complain about throttling:

Netflix typically sends about 13 movies per month to Villanueva's home in Warren, Mich. — down from the 18 to 22 DVDs he once received before the company's automated system identified him as a heavy renter and began delaying his shipments to protect its profits.

The same Netflix formula also shoves Villanueva to the back of the line for the most-wanted DVDs, so the service can send those popular flicks to new subscribers and infrequent renters.

The little-known practice, called "throttling" by critics, means Netflix customers who pay the same price for the same service are often treated differently, depending on their rental patterns.

Thirteen moves for $17? Instead of complaining about your $1.31 movie, how 'bout going down to what's left of your local video store and see if you can get that deal from them. Good luck.

But what motivation does Netflix have for doing this?

A September 2004 lawsuit cast a spotlight on the throttling issue. The complaint, filed by Frank Chavez on behalf of all Netflix subscribers before Jan. 15, 2005, said the company had developed a sophisticated formula to slow down DVD deliveries to frequent renters and ensure quicker shipments of the most popular movies to its infrequent — and most profitable — renters to keep them happy.

Nothing wrong with keeping your most profitable customers happy, but this just makes no sense. If their rental histories say that customer A is going to sit on the movie for a week while customer B is going to return it in two days, what possible motive would Netflix have to send it to the slow-poke? Customer B is going to return it, and it'll be out in Customer A's hands in almost the same time period. Everyone's happy, right?

What this doesn't address, which really surprises me, are the people described in this story that rent 22 movies a month. Are they sitting by the mailbox and watching each movie as it arrives, or are they making DVD backups of these movies on their computers? I can't believe Netflix hasn't addressed this issue yet, considering how rabid Hollywood has become about digital piracy as of late.

Posted 2/10/2006 05:51:00 PM by Douglas

Noooooooo!!!!

The Sheriff's Department came by the 1,582 containers, including a keg of beer, through seizures during arrests. The containers more than filled a Dumpster after they were empty.

"We probably have this much more inside," said Capt. Bruce Evans.

The alcohol dumped by deputies and volunteers was from criminal cases already settled while the alcohol still held as evidence is from newer cases.

Much of the domestic and imported beers, wine and wine coolers and liquor came from cases involving juveniles.

The dumping happens about once a year and represents one of the larger caches of alcohol seized by law agencies, according to Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission Agent Geoffery Weise, whose Amarillo office covers the top 20 counties of the Panhandle.

I wonder if they'd let me "volunteer" for this annual event? Do you think they'd get mad if I "dumped" all this confiscated hooch into my "trunk" and drove off with it? I'd promise not to give it to any kids, and I wouldn't drink (much) on the way home.

But really, what a spectacular waste of time. Only slightly dumber than the "war on drugs," the neo-prohibitionists are swinging the big guns to "keep the children safe." So what's this all about?

Melynn Huntley, grant project director of Amarillo Independent School District's Drug Free Communities, helped empty the containers. The project she directs tries to lower the drinking rate among children.

Keeping kids from drinking. Of course. Because 16 or 18 isn't enough. They're not mature enough for a beer, yet they can vote, be executed, drive, die in the military. But that beer is just out of the question. No wonder America's alcoholism rate is so much higher than Europe's.

Posted 2/10/2006 05:27:00 PM by Douglas

"What speaks louder than words? No words."

Damn I can't stop laughing, but I know that it's not funny. It's sad.

Posted 2/10/2006 05:19:00 PM by Douglas

First, there were no Krispy Kreme doughnuts in Amarillo. Now, looks like Houston is going to be without these empty calories.

Krispy Kreme stores in Houston will turn off the lights next month.

The franchisee had sued Krispy Kreme, claiming the doughnut chain pressured Lone Star to open new stores and threatened to declare a default if the franchisee refused, according to court documents. It also claimed Krispy Kreme forced Lone Star to buy unnecessary equipment and marked up cost of goods and supplies, the documents show.

I've said it before and I hope I don't say it again. The donuts suck. Good riddance. But don't worry, Houstonians, there are still plenty of other of outlets for fried dough covered in sugar!

Posted 2/10/2006 05:12:00 PM by Douglas

Long live the Firefox! Why does MSIE even exist anymore?

Internet Explorer users can be as much as 21 times more likely to end up with a spyware-infected PC than people who go online with Mozilla's Firefox browser, academic researchers from Microsoft's backyard said in a recently published paper.

We can't say whether Firefox is a safer browser or not," said Henry Levy, one of the two University of Washington professors who, along with a pair of graduate students, created Web crawlers to scour the Internet for spyware in several 2005 forays. "But we can say that users will have a safer experience [surfing] with Firefox."

Mozilla is safer, faster, free, and oh yeah, tabbed browsing kicks ass.

Internet Explorer, I'd like you to meet Mosaic. You're about to join them.

Posted 2/09/2006 05:35:00 PM by Douglas

To continue with a theme, the Federal Government, working mainly through private contractors, aren't content with knowing what kind of mayonnaise you buy, how many minutes you use on your cell phone, and the current address of your college roommate. Now they're going after blogs and other pointless crap on the internet.

The US government is developing a massive computer system that can collect huge amounts of data and, by linking far-flung information from blogs and e-mail to government records and intelligence reports, search for patterns of terrorist activity.

The system - parts of which are operational, parts of which are still under development - is already credited with helping to foil some plots. It is the federal government's latest attempt to use broad data-collection and powerful analysis in the fight against terrorism. But by delving deeply into the digital minutiae of American life, the program is also raising concerns that the government is intruding too deeply into citizens' privacy.

I'm still going to contend that this book be mandatory reading for anyone wondering why their spouses disappeared in the middle of the night. Read it before they ban it, folks!

Posted 2/09/2006 05:29:00 PM by Douglas

Los Angeles terrorist attack thwarted in 2002. This one reeks. There are many reasons that this information didn't surface at the time, but there are even more reasons this intel is being made public now. Oh, I don't know, something to do with the "terrorist surveillance program?

Shortly after 9/11, al Qaeda began planning to use shoe bombers to hijack a commercial airplane and fly it into the tallest building in Los Angeles, California, President Bush said Thursday.

The details were the first from the administration about the West Coast airliner plot, which was thwarted in 2002 and initially disclosed by the White House last year.

The plot was set in motion by Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the alleged mastermind of the September 11, 2001, attacks, a month after the airplanes crashed into the World Trade Center and Pentagon, Bush said. It involved terrorists from al Qaeda's Southeast Asia wing, Jemaah Islamiyah.

Well it's kinda impossible to prove a negative now, isn't it? No one can prove al Qaeda planned such an attack if BushCo claims they stopped it. But timing is everything, and in light of one of Bush's lapdogs barking talking points at the Senate, it's painfully obvious where the administration is circling its wagons: Defending warrantless wire-taps. So how convenient it is now that this PR nightmare suddenly and mysteriously thwarted a devastating attack on the country's second largest city? The Blog is gonna have to call BS on that one. No, not just BS, but thinly veiled BS that only the talking heads on FoxNews are gonna buy.

Personally, I think there haven't been any terrorist attacks since 9/11/01 because of the magical extension cord I bought in October of 2001. Since I've owned this extension cord there have been no terrorists attacks on America.

Works like a charm, that extension cord. . .

Posted 2/09/2006 05:29:00 PM by Douglas

Dance, Brownie, Dance!

Former disaster agency chief Michael Brown is indicating he is ready to reveal his correspondence with President Bush and other officials during Hurricane Katrina unless the White House forbids it and offers legal support.

Brown quit as director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency days after Katrina struck.

In a February 6th letter to White House counsel Harriet Miers, Brown's lawyer wrote that Brown continues to respect Bush and his "presidential prerogative" to get candid and confidential advice from top aides.

The letter from Andrew W. Lester also says Brown no longer can rely on being included in that protection because he is a private citizen.

Gee, what could they be hiding? That the situation was embarrassingly mismanaged, from the top-down to the bottom-up, on all levels of Federal, State, and local government? Wow! Now there's a scoop!

Posted 2/08/2006 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

People, people, people. Do NOT ride on top of a moving car unless you're a teen-aged warewolf

On Sunday night, Williamson lost her 17-year-old son to "car surfing," a teenage prank that is exactly what it sounds like — riding on the hoods or roofs of moving cars.

It's a term familiar to many teens who have seen the stunt played out by professional daredevils on TV and everyday thrill seekers on countless youth humor Web sites.

Seriously, did we learn nothing from Teen Wolf?

Posted 2/08/2006 05:16:00 PM by Douglas

Irony. (n):

Elevator inspector in Beaumont falls 10 floors to death

BEAUMONT — An inspector fell 10 floors to his death in an elevator shaft at a bank building today.

Beaumont police say Keith Axtell, 32, was killed at a Bank of America building.

The elevator was above the man, on the 10th floor, when he apparently slipped into the shaft and fell, said Officer Crystal Holmes.

Axtell worked for Schindler Elevator Corp., Holmes said.

Posted 2/06/2006 05:38:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting concept, but not exactly the best PR picture NASA could have went have gone, have gone, have gone with:

On Friday, SuitSat-1, made from a worn-out Russian space suit, was tossed into orbit from the International Space Station. The satellite's mission is to transmit a signal over FM frequency 145.990 MHz to ham radio operators around the world. The signal from SuitSat-1 was thought to be lost after two orbits but was picked up again on Sunday, according to a ham radio-tracking site.

More here, and here, and if you want to hear what the dorks that are tracking it have to say, go here.

Posted 2/06/2006 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

Ok, so I seem to be stuck in a rut regarding private companies amassing exabytes of information on every man, woman and child in the country, then selling it to the highest bidder, usually the federal or state governments. Enter ChoicePoint. Cute web-site, no? Doesn't look evil, does it? Well, besides marketing and selling "Background checks in box" to the general public at Wal-Mart, their evils recently include the biggest fine in Federal Trade Commission history. For what? Do you even have to ask?

The Federal Trade Commission has levied the largest fine in its history against consumer data broker ChoicePoint Inc. for the company's failure to protect consumer privacy and violations of federal laws that resulted in 800 cases of identity theft.

An FTC statement said the settlement "requires ChoicePoint to implement new procedures to ensure that it provides consumer reports only to legitimate businesses for lawful purposes, to establish and maintain a comprehensive information security program, and to obtain audits by an independent third-party security professional every other year until 2026."

Last February, ChoicePoint announced that fake companies bought information from it, potentially compromising the personal financial records of thousands of consumers.

"At least 163,000 consumers had their personal information compromised and at least 800 of those consumers became victims of identity theft," Majoras said at the news conference.

Where is the public outrage? Hell, how many people even know that these companies are amassing this info about them? This is the kind of records system that not even Orwell could have dreamed of 50 years ago, and it's been funded by companies that want to buy and sell your information to anyone that wants it and has the money. This goes way beyond the old (insane) adage that "if you're not doing anything wrong, you've got nothing to worry about." Talk to an identity theft victim about that bullshit, and we've only seen the tip of the iceberg of the identity theft disaster. And it's only the beginning.

Posted 2/05/2006 06:51:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting article about a fascinating book. Fascinating? I mean terrifying.

Picture "Minority Report" combined with Orwell's "1984" and Francis Ford Coppola's "Conversation": in an effort to prevent future crimes and predict what certain individuals are likely to do, the government has begun working with high-tech titans to keep tabs on the populace.

[...]

Privacy and civil liberties advocates have put the brakes on some government projects, like the Total Information Awareness initiative promoted by John Poindexter, the former vice admiral (of Iran-contra notoriety), and a surveillance engine known (half jokingly) as the Matrix (for the Multistate Anti-Terrorism Information Exchange) that would combine criminal and commercial records in one blindingly fast system. Yet Mr. O'Harrow points out: "The drive for more monitoring, data collection, and analysis is relentless and entrepreneurial. Where one effort ends, another begins, often with the same technology and aims. Total Information Awareness may be gone, but it's not forgotten. Other kinds of Matrix systems are already in the works."

Yikes! This isn't tin-foil hat time, this is real. It's going on right now, and hardly anyone knows or cares.

Posted 2/05/2006 06:24:00 PM by Douglas

A few indications that you're at a bad stuporbowl party:

• The Gouda and Riesling are gone by the middle of the first quarter.
• The host gets so incredibly drunk that he goes into the back yard, pees on his dog, then falls down, opening a gash in both the fence and his forehead.
• The person there that "only watches it for the commercials" finally and deservedly gets kicked in the groin.
• The neighbors call the Sheriff because your mom won't stop screaming "tackle that sum'bitch and break his goddammed legs" at the TV.
• Your mom was screaming at Aaron Neville.
• A Budweiser commercial thanks your party and you specifically for their remarkable first quarter earnings.
• F-16s enforcing the no-fly zone target your back yard hibachi.

No, I'm not going to be tuning in.

Posted 2/04/2006 05:15:00 PM by Douglas

Just when some people thought their personal information has been compromised, the rest of the world finds out they're in the same amount of risk. Keep in mind this happened over three years ago.

From October, 2000 until last June, Baas worked as the system administrator at the Market Intelligence Group, a Cincinnati data mining company that was performing work for Acxiom. As part of his job, he had legitimate access to an Acxiom FTP server. At some point, while poking around on that server, he found an unprotected file containing encrypted passwords.

Some of those passwords proved vulnerable to a run-of-the-mill password cracking program, and one of them, "packers," gave Baas access to all of the accounts used by Acxiom customers -- credit card companies, banks, phone companies, and other enterprises -- to access or manage consumer data stored by Acxiom . He began copying the databases in bulk, and burning them onto CDs.

In all, Baas downloaded "millions" of consumer records, says prosecutor Robert Behlen. "He didn't execute any fraud with them," says Behlen. "He apparently liked to collect information." Baas' attorney didn't return a phone call.

He may have "liked" to collect information, but Acxiom, and dozens of companies like them make Billions of dollars off of selling your information to marketing firms and for the last five years, the Department of Justice. So what? We'll see how complacent the American Sheeple are when this information is stolen, corrupted, or used for other deleterious motives. Will it be too late when a few exabytes on a hard drive in Arkansas house someone's entire life history, keystroke for keystroke?

Posted 2/04/2006 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

I'm certainly not the world's biggest fan of Metal, but still, I'm surprised that I've never made this connection. . . . Until now.

While the extreme branch of heavy-metal music known as death metal is defined in part by often-vile lyrics about violence, catastrophic destruction, nihilism, anarchy and paranoia, its singing style is associated with a beloved goggle-eyed, fuzzy blue puppet.

Death-metal vocalizing is also known as Cookie Monster singing, if not in tribute to, at least in acknowledgment of, the "Sesame Street" puppet that blurts in a guttural growl, his words discharged so rapidly that they tend to collide with each other.

I know they're trying to sound all sinister and tough, but I'll never again be able to hear it and not think of the Cookie Monster. And this graphic isn't helping, either:

Posted 2/04/2006 11:11:00 AM by Douglas

The Straight Dope takes a look at the age-old "airplane on a treadmill" question. Long story short, the plane flies.

"A plane is standing on a runway that can move (some sort of band conveyer). The plane moves in one direction, while the conveyer moves in the opposite direction. This conveyer has a control system that tracks the plane speed and tunes the speed of the conveyer to be exactly the same (but in the opposite direction). Can the plane take off?"

This really made my brain hurt yesterday because I think the answer to the question as stated is very misleading. The short answer is that the treadmill can't keep the plane from moving, relative to an fixed observer (and surrounding air) when this madness starts. The airplane will fly, but it will fly off the end of the treadmill.

Posted 2/03/2006 05:28:00 PM by Douglas

So you went out on Thursday, and you're wondering just how drunk you are Friday morning. Probably still pretty drunk if you drink like these people.

But, our most surprising results came from the last house. We visited Amy and Brian almost six hours after we sent them home.

After a not so stellar sobriety test, Brian blew exactly a 0.08 -- legally drunk in the state of Texas.

Amy blew a 0.103 -- well above the legal limit.

That's what sick days are for, Amy!

But the best line in the story, from Deputy Brian Hawn, regarding people that appear impaired, yet pass the breathalizer test:

"In the state of Texas, numbers don't kill people. Impairment is what kills people," Hawn said.

Really? So if a driver blows 0.11% while exhibiting no signs of impairment, will you just send them on their merry way? I don't think so.

Posted 2/03/2006 05:19:00 PM by Douglas

Another video today. Similar to yesterday's humorous editing on Sleepless in Seattle, here's Brokeback to the Future.

Posted 2/03/2006 05:17:00 PM by Douglas

For anyone that's ever taken off their pants in the kitchen as they call in sick to work, this video is for you!

Thank you, beer!

Posted 2/02/2006 05:11:00 AM by Douglas

Why editing is an award in and of itself. Also, why I friggin hate to go to movies to sit through trailers (and commercials) when they're 100% manipulative.

Posted 2/01/2006 05:30:00 PM by Douglas

Longtime readers [yes, I'm talking to both of you] know that I'm not a big fan of soccer, or what the rest of the socialist world calls "football", or "fútbol", or "fútböll" or whatever the hell they call it. To the people that have tried to explain to me how a 90 minute, 1-0 game could possibly be entertaining, much less exciting, I'd like to present what I find most disgusting with this so-called "sport": the Fun-Fair-Positive Soccer league. From their "about" section:

FFPS uses unique rules and training to ensure everyone has fun and success. The FFPS equal substitution system ensures equal playing time in every position, balanced teams ensures fairness, everyone receives an award, and coaches and parents are taught positive methods to help build self-esteem. No parent nor is FFPS allowed to keep scores or standings. Only the kids. We do not want undue pressure put on the kids to perform but allow them to have FUN!!

Ah yes, a sport with no score. Guess what, when there are no losers, there are also no winners. It's kinda bound by one of those definition things. So why bother? The low-scoring pointless running of high-school, college, or even professional soccer got too competitive for the under 10 set? Why not just extrapolate this all the way up to Major League Soccer (sorry, I just can't say those three words in sequence without laughing)? Give everyone a trophy! Everyone's mom goes home happy, and everyone gets McDonald's on the way! Super!

Anyone curious as to why we're churning out a generation of complete pussies, please refer to any of the above links.

Posted 2/01/2006 05:25:00 PM by Douglas

Yet another soccer related post. Houston picked up a Major League Soccer (Ha!) team this year, and what's worse than this fake sport coming to Houston? The fake controversy their disturbingly lame name has churned up among the socialist Latino soccer fans in the Bayou City.

By naming the team Houston 1836, the newly arrived Major League Soccer franchise has chosen to identify with a year that may divide the city rather than unite it. While the team intends to highlight Houston's founding along the banks of Buffalo Bayou, the year also commemorates the defeat of the Mexican Army by a largely Anglo Texan militia at the Battle of San Jacinto. Whether by ignorance or design, choosing 1836 has the potential to alienate Houstonians of Mexican origin, a group that is surely a large part of the team's fan base.

And so? Santa Anna was defeated and Texas independence was established in 1836, but Houston wasn't incorporated as a city until 1837. Sorry, but I still don't understand the question. Houston was incorporated in 1837, the Mexican army was defeated a year earlier, but 1836 makes for the lamest team name [soccer not withstanding] in all history. So why? Why the controversy?

I don't know. My soccer questions start with "why does it exist", so when that one is answered, I'll work on the last two.

Posted 2/01/2006 05:16:00 PM by Douglas

February 1^st, 2003. Today, not a link in CNN, the Houston Chronicle, or just about anywhere else, except for NASAwatch and this blog from the Orlando Sentinel, which pretty much sums up my goggling for news:

I was surprised this morning at the dearth of news coverage on today’s third anniversary of the Columbia accident. A brief check of the web via spacetoday.net turned up only one U.S. newspaper, The Beaumont Enterprise, which carried a story. Beaumont is located near several of the small Texas towns where much of Columbia’s wreckage was recovered. In the blogosphere, NASA Watch is the only site I’ve found so far that gives the anniversary much play. Many news organizations, including the Sentinel, folded the Columbia milestone into stories last Saturday on the 20th anniversary of the Challenger disaster.

We can't remember forever, can we? When are we going to get back to flying? Are we? Should we? I don't know. I can't imagine a more fascinating endevour than the pursuit and achievement of manned spacetravel. To borrow an oft overused superlative, it's like nothing else on earth, but for once, the phrase is technically accurate. But when it comes down to a show of hand on the floor of Congress, the days of "white-collar welfare" are numbered. We'll see. How long 'till STS-121?

And don't miss the gallery of front pages from three years ago, or this collection of Columbia inspired cartoons. I think I'm beginning to understand why the 3^rd anniversary went so unnoticed. It's going to be a while before I can look at stuff like that again.

Posted 2/01/2006 05:12:00 PM by Douglas

I had no idea that up until last week, I could walk into a Western Union office and send a telegram. Now? I'll never get the chance. But, on the bright side, I'll never get to use a buggy whip on a dodo bird, either, and so far, that hasn't made me lose any sleep, either.

After 145 years, Western Union has quietly stopped sending telegrams.

On the company's web site, if you click on "Telegrams" in the left-side navigation bar, you're taken to a page that ends a technological era with about as little fanfare as possible:

"Effective January 27, 2006, Western Union will discontinue all Telegram and Commercial Messaging services. We regret any inconvenience this may cause you, and we thank you for your loyal patronage. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact a customer service representative."

Irony, anyone? On their website? How many people go to their computer, boot up, get to the internets to find their nearest telegram office? But that's kinda their point, yet I digress:

The decline of telegram use goes back at least to the 1980s, when long-distance telephone service became cheap enough to offer a viable alternative in many if not most cases. Faxes didn't help. Email could be counted as the final nail in the coffin.

The 1980s? I think the era of the telegram was over long before Reagan, but I could be wrong. The concept of the abridged discount telegram is still a hilarious plot formula in ¡Three Amigos! "I give you the five peso version, senorita."

Posted 2/01/2006 05:09:00 PM by Douglas

This guy:

might have a drug problem? I'm shocked and amazed.

George O'Dowd, better known as the singer Boy George, yesterday made a brief appearance in a Manhattan criminal court on drug charges.

The hearing was the first stage in what could be a lengthy legal process. The 44-year-old was arrested in October last year after police responding to a burglary call at his apartment in Manhattan allegedly found 13 plastic bags of cocaine, weighing a total of more than 3½ grams. Mr O'Dowd's lawyers have said that the singer had been entertaining at his home and that the drugs were not his. He could face up to 5½ years in prison if convicted.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, may I present you with exhibit 'duh:'

Good Lord, if you look like that, voluntarily, and you don't have a coke problem, well somehow that's got to be worse.