Posted 12/30/2006 11:00:00 AM by Douglas

Saddam's execution has caused quite a controversy, and I'm only talking about with TV executives as to whether or not to show it.

The apparently imminent execution of the deposed Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein threw executives at television news organizations into hurried consultations today over how to handle pictures or video of the hanging.

Though it was not known whether images of the execution would be released, the news divisions at ABC and CBS said that, should video become available, they will show some visual documentation of Saddam’s death but will not use overly graphic images or show complete execution.

Ironic, really. Networks taking the self-congratulatory moral high road of sparing us, the poor viewer, of graphic footage of a body swinging from a rope, which is probably one tenth as graphic as any Mel Gibson movie, just as long as another network doesn't do it first.

As always, the high road.

Posted 12/30/2006 10:42:00 AM by Douglas

The whorification of adolescent girls continues unabated.

But my parental brain rebels. Suburban parents dote on and hover over their children, micromanaging their appointments and shielding them in helmets, kneepads and thick layers of S.U.V. steel. But they allow the culture of boy-toy sexuality to bore unchecked into their little ones’ ears and eyeballs, displacing their nimble and growing brains and impoverishing the sense of wider possibilities in life.

There is no reason adulthood should be a low plateau we all clamber onto around age 10. And it’s a cramped vision of girlhood that enshrines sexual allure as the best or only form of power and esteem.

You'll never go broke writing about "these kids today," or "back in my day. . . " But I think this guy is on to something. It's quite fascinating that parents want to assist their daughter's sex lives before they can even drive.

Posted 12/28/2006 03:34:00 PM by Douglas

Oh man, not this shit again.

University of Texas President William Powers Jr. said he plans to form an advisory committee to study whether something should be done about the numerous campus statues honoring the Confederacy.

The statues have in recent history become a topic of debate among students, professors and administrators.

They include four bronze figures on the South Mall honoring Confederate leaders such as Jefferson Davis, president of the Confederate States, and Gen. Robert E. Lee.

Some critics have proposed removing the Davis and Lee statues and placing them in a museum.

Why not put all the statues in a museum? I'm sure someone is going to be offended by George Washington standing on the south mall. I'm sure Mr. Littlefield is spinning in his grave.

When Littlefield complained of Northern bias in the text books used in teaching American history, Eugene C. Barker of the university's History Department, with whom Littlefield, by appointment of Governor Thomas M. Campbell, had served a year, 1909-10, on the first Texas Library and Historical Commission, replied that better history could not be written without adequate archival resources. Littlefield in 1914 established the Littlefield Fund for Southern History to collect such material, and during the remaining six years of his life he gave well over $100,000 to the fund.

Posted 12/28/2006 03:17:00 PM by Douglas

Maybe I'm a bit cruel, but this sounds like an unemployment solution to me.

A 16-year-old girl died early today after playing a variation of Russian roulette, investigators said.

Bexar County sheriff's deputies said the girl and a man in his 20s handed a gun containing one bullet back and forth, taking turns pointing the weapon at each other's heads and pulling the trigger.

Tragic? Not really.

Posted 12/28/2006 03:14:00 PM by Douglas

Ben Stein tells us something that I already suspected: Borat sucks.

It's repulsive.

2.) Much of the movie is about Borat making fun of people who have been completely kind to him. This is just infantile and narcissistic oppositional disorder. It's also rude, and it's not very funny. Maybe it is if you are five.

I think there's way too much focus on the psudo anti-Semitism of the fact that's he's Jewish and not enough on the fact that's it's just not funny. The "candid camera" type stunt that never ends and preys on the kindness of strangers just seems sad to me.

Posted 12/26/2006 06:51:00 PM by Douglas

Just got back from "where the river is wide and crawfish hide." Didn't take as many pictures as I thought I would, since that's really all I was going for, but got some interesting ones, as there's lots of interesting things to see in Louisiana. I'll start with this one, and being a 'back road' kind of guy that I am, I saw this one a lot:

I have no idea what the French means, but judging from the roads I was on, it loosely translates to "We haven't maintained this road since Huey Long was shot." Just a guess.

Posted 12/26/2006 06:40:00 PM by Douglas

James Brown, Gerald Ford die in a bizarre homoerotic day-delayed orgy. Or something like that.

We're gonna miss you, Godfather of Soul, and Godfather of Unelected Presidents.

Posted 12/26/2006 06:19:00 PM by Douglas

Ever lose your luggage on an airplane? Ever wonder how the airline lost your luggage? This is how.

Some of the luggage had been rifled through. The baggage had destination tags from several overseas locations, including London and Dubai, United Arab Emirates, indicating they probably came from international flights arriving at Bush Intercontinental Airport.

The airport is about a mile to the southeast of the spot where they were discovered, authorities said.

Because some of the bags originated in the Middle East, FBI agents also were brought in to examine the items.

An FBI spokesman said the bags did not pose a danger to the public.

Stay calm, folks, the highly trained professionals at the airport are there to ensure the security of every passenger.

Posted 12/25/2006 07:50:00 PM by Douglas

Merry Christmas from Morgan City, Louisiana. The blog decided to take a solo road trip to some crap that it’s been the subject of much ranting on the blog. Got some good pix, but left the USB cable at home so the pictures of the port will have to wait. Heading up to the Old River tomorrow, so maybe I’ll have some interesting pictures. Also, I’m hoping a restaurant is open tomorrow. Two years ago Christmas dinner was at the Hard Rock Café because it was the only place open on the Big Island. This year, Christmas dinner was at Waffle House. You take what you get, and at times, you’re happy to get it.

Posted 12/23/2006 05:50:00 PM by Douglas

What I love about Galveston: It's filled with this stuff. Great architecture on what was once, everyday homes, and right next door is a housing project that's a total crack house. There is virtually NO middle class on the Island. But anyhoo, here are some random pictures.

Interesting looking park at 15th and Church. There was a wedding going on the first time I found this place, but it was bit more tame this day.

The Wall of Remembrance. Kinda cool, I guess. I dig the statue, in a kind of "hey artist, beat me over the head with your vision" kind of way.
And here's a random Rosenberg monument:

I don't really know why it's there, on such a random corner there in the East End, but it is.

There's a lot of interesting stuff going on in Galveston that don't have a thing to do with the beach or Schlitterbahn.

Posted 12/23/2006 05:05:00 PM by Douglas

Trouble's a'brewin' at the ferry

Winters, 76, says his 73-year-old wife, Beverly, is one of dozens of disabled people on the Bolivar Peninsula who find boarding the ferry a challenge since the Texas Department of Transportation stopped issuing medical priority passes in September that allowed them to go to the head of the line.

Beverly Winters and two other disabled Port Bolivar residents are plaintiffs in a lawsuit filed this week in a federal court in Austin seeking to force the highway department to resume issuing medical priority passes.

I just don't get this one. If you have trouble getting around, you get to park closer to the mall. If you can't see, can't hear, can't stand, you get to park closer to the mall. So how does your disability, any disability, get you bumped to the front of the line for a ferry trip to Galveston?

Their medical conditions make waiting in typically long lines to board the ferry intolerable, the lawsuit says.

Beverly Winters is a stroke victim who suffers from incontinence and dementia, her husband says.

Incontinence? Guess what, there's a bathroom on the ferry and dementia? What's the big deal? Sitting in traffic is somehow different than sitting in the line for the ferry? You're waiting, that's it. If you really have that big of a problem with traffic, maybe automobile travel isn't for you.

I know what kind of living hell it's like to deal with people suffering from these conditions, but it's not the state's fault there's a line at the ferry. Giving these people priority at the ferry makes as much sense as letting them run red lights just because they don't want to wait, and I just don't think these conditions warrant firetruck and/or ambulance status.

Posted 12/22/2006 05:34:00 PM by Douglas

I don't think more people have ever been more excited to see a flight land in Florida

Space shuttle Discovery and its seven astronauts safely returned to Earth on Friday after some last-minute suspense over which landing site to use, closing out a year in which NASA finally got construction of the international space station back on track.

Its arrival announced by its signature twin sonic booms, the spaceship touched down on a floodlit runway in the early evening darkness after a smooth, 13-day flight during which the astronauts rewired the space station and delivered U.S. astronaut Sunita "Suni" Williams to the orbiting outpost for a six-month stay.

"It's a thrill to have you in Florida," Mission Control said.

A thrill, indeed. And as it passed over South Texas, from Laredo to Beaumont, many alert Texans could hear the sonic boom as it streaked across the sky on its way to Florida. Quite impressive.

It rattled my windows.

Posted 12/22/2006 03:51:00 PM by Douglas

I have no idea what the probability would be of detonating a nuclear warhead during its assembly or disassembly, but I know it sure as hell ain't zero.

"There is no credible scenario in which an accidental nuclear detonation can occur at Pantex. Assertions that production operations could have resulted in such a detonation are inaccurate and inflammatory," Swaim said.

Well of course that's what he'd say. Just like it's impossible for a piece of foam to bring down the space shuttle, or a huge company to lose personal info because it's "against company policy." Shit happens, and I've been accused by a long-time reader of being less than fair in this post, but I don't think so. A government worker saying what the public wants to hear doesn't really make me rest easier, and saying it can't happen has about as much to do with keeping it from happening as the "employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom has with keeping feces out of your salad.

If I wanted that much smoke blown up my ass I'd get a pack of cigarettes and a length of hose.

Posted 12/22/2006 03:40:00 PM by Douglas

Everything you never wanted to know about the White Sands Space Harbor. Also some great info on other old airports, for those of you that find that shit interesting.

Posted 12/21/2006 05:07:00 PM by Douglas

In case you're looking for some last minute gift ideas.

Posted 12/19/2006 05:50:00 PM by Douglas

Never a dull moment with an active volcano on your south shore.

Eruption-watchers from the U.S. Geological Survey's Hawaiian Volcano Observatory on Monday reported lava continuing to flow into the ocean off the west side and tip of the expanding black delta, while small breakouts of lava from higher up the slopes of Kilauea Volcano were described as "resembling a string of holiday lights."

Kilauea, star attraction of Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, has been luring thousands of visitors each week to its ongoing eruption since 1983. Some are treated to spectacular displays as molten lava spews into the ocean, but these days most are missing the show, partly because of the long hikes to the best viewpoints and the danger of collapsing lava.

Wow, gotta be a cool site to see it crash into the water. More info/pix here. I like this one. "Uh, dad, I parked the car by the volcano last night. . . "

Posted 12/19/2006 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

Spend your gift cards, people. Retailers are counting on you losing them.

"It can be fun to get them, but then I forget about them," said Deborah Cabaret, 46, who has hundreds of dollars worth of unused cards. "Or I walk into the store, I look around, I don't know what I want, and I leave."

Last winter, Best Buy Co. reported a $43 million gain in fiscal 2006 from cards that hadn't been used in two or more years. Limited Brands Inc. recorded $30 million in 2005 revenue because of unredeemed cards.

It's bad enough that they expire, but $40 million in unclaimed cards? That's a license to print money.

Posted 12/19/2006 05:32:00 PM by Douglas

Why does anyone care about Miss USA? I thought the interest in such things dropped off right after the swimsuit competition. I was wrong.

Trump met with Conner earlier Tuesday morning fully expecting to fire her, he said. But he walked away convinced the young woman was a "good person" with a "good heart" and not deserving of the boot.

"She left a small town in Kentucky, and she was telling me that she got caught up in the whirlwind of New York," Trump said at a news conference with Conner at his side. "It's a story that has happened many times before to many women and to many men who came to the Big Apple. They wanted their slice of the Big Apple, and they found out it wasn't so easy."

Conner won the title in April and moved to New York. Since then, she has partied hard, admitting she frequented clubs, where she threw drinks back — despite being underage. She turned 21 on Monday.

That's her crime? Drinking the demon alcohol when she was 20 years and 11 months old, and she's only going to rehab? Why not GitMo? As told by Jon Stewart, she was also seen making out with Miss Teen USA, so the plot thickens.

"My personal demons are my personal demons," she told a horde of reporters.

Which prompted Stewart to quip, "my personal demons are paying money to watch your personal demons." And how!

But let's put the blame where it really belongs: The full degradation of our society brought on by the feminists.

In a way, says Steiner-Adair, what's happened to the culture is a perversion of the original feminist movement and the so-called sexual revolution.

That may be a bit much, but to paraphrase Marx (Groucho, not Karl), "sometimes a drunk-whore is just a drunk whore."

Posted 12/19/2006 05:18:00 PM by Douglas

Maybe it's the way Justin Timberlake is making fun of his own silly career, or maybe it's just the dick in the box, but I can't stop laughing at this. Especially the instructions:

1. Cut a hole in a box
2. Put your junk in a box
3. Have her open the box

Yeah, it's dumb, but it works.

Also good to see that NBC has pulled the cob out of their ass and allowed Youtube to host some SNL clips. I could watch this one every day.

Posted 12/18/2006 05:37:00 PM by Douglas

Random pictures from Galveston, Texas: The Landes-McDonough house, in all her glory. Any structure that predates the 1900 storm is one tough bitch, to which her 'exuberant parapets and towers' will attest.

And here's one of the many Norfolk Pines on the Island:

I don't know why I think those trees are so cool looking. Partly because they're all over Hawaii, and partly because they look like something from Dr. Seuss. But I need one in my yard, and my proximity to Galveston tells me that it's possible.

Posted 12/18/2006 05:08:00 PM by Douglas

Long-time readers know that I'm not the judge and jury when it comes to crimes recognized by the grammar police. At least those of you that are still speaking to me. Anyhoo, I saw this a few weeks ago, and it caught my attention. So much so that I had to look at it twice. Then I had to look at it a third time and bring in the camera to take a picture of it. Who thought breakfast could be so complicated?

Admittedly, when the world was making fun of Dan Qualye for not knowing how to spell "potato", I was on his side, because I wasn't sure if it had an 'e,' either. But this is what's hilarious about this picture:

It would appear that the sign was originally correct, yet someone removed the "E" in an attempt to 'correct' it, and for my money, correcting something to make it wrong is funnier than being wrong in the first place.

Posted 12/17/2006 05:50:00 PM by Douglas

Let them all die gracelessly.

When you make words for a living, you will inevitably find yourself drawn into certain ruts of repetition. That's why you'll see the same tired clichés popping up in the same media outlets, or often in the writing produced by the same people. Blogs are no different, and are in fact worse -- the increased breadth and depth of volume encourages mass overuse of an even longer list of lazy jokes, references, and turns of phrase. And blog comments and discussions recycle the same slop with alarming regularity. We're as guilty as anyone of these crimes, and likely more guilty than some. We're willing to admit there's a problem though, just like at AA, so we're cataloguing the worst offenders far and wide. After the jump, an annotated list of words, phrases, and terms that have long overstayed their welcome in the media-blogosphere. Send in your own, and as always, feel free to chime in comment-wise.

Bad writing is bad writing, irregardless of the pacific forem its in. Just ignore it.

Posted 12/17/2006 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

Dave Barry weighs in, in 1994, on the Strategic Helium Reserve for Reason.

Well, that helium thing does. That's real money. All the tax money that I've ever, ever paid--and I've paid a lot of taxes--will not even begin to pay for one year of the strategic helium reserve. So when I sit and write a check out to the government, I can take it quite personally.

Sleep tight, America. The SHR was phased out in 1999.

Posted 12/15/2006 05:42:00 PM by Douglas

Just what the world needs. Assholic drivers that can't decide what they want to do more: Be a bad parent or be a bad driver. Now, they don't have to chose.

Would Mustang Sally drive a station wagon? Maybe she'll get the chance.

The next generation of the Ford Mustang could include some previously unthinkable variants including a four-door sedan and a station wagon, according to a report in the magazine AutoWeek.

"To a Mustang purist, this is blasphemy," said Bob Gritzinger, AutoWeek's senior editor for news.

Ok, so maybe not:

Ford Motor Company released a statement today calling reports that the company would make four-door variants of its Mustang sports car "not true."

"The Mustang is an icon and will continue in its current form: a unique two-door, rear-wheel drive, 2+2 performance car," the statement says.

The term "2+2" refers to a car, like the Mustang, with small back seats.

When asked why Ford wasn't pursing such options, high ranking officials were quoted as saying "because we thought it'd sell, and we're dedicated to driving the company into the ground."

So I made up that last part, but seriously, why the outrage? Those idiots put a 4-banger in the Mustang in the 70s and early 80s. Honest to got FOUR CYLINDER. There's nothing they can't fuck up.

Posted 12/15/2006 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

Deep in the middle of the sleeping plains of North-West Texas lies a facility that's just waiting to suck the paint off your house.

A watchdog group charges a nuclear warhead nearly exploded in Texas when it was being dismantled at the government's Pantex facility near Amarillo.

The Project on Government Oversight says it has been told by knowledgeable experts that the warhead nearly detonated in 2005 because an unsafe amount of pressure was applied while it was being disassembled, The Austin American-Statesman reports.

The U.S. Energy Department fined the plant's operators $110,000 last month.

An investigator for Project on Government Oversight says the weapon involved was a W-56 warhead with 100 times the destructive power of the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima.

The watchdog group says the problem was caused in part by technicians at the plant being required to work up to 72 hours each week.

They released an anonymous letter, reportedly sent by Pantex employees, warning that long hours and efforts to increase output were causing dangerous conditions at the plant.

A spokesperson for the Energy Department declined to respond to safety complaints in the letter.

Panhandle residents: Sleep tight in knowing that the same workers that almost made a 100 kiloton hole in the ground are also the same jokers that were just fined $110.000.

Sleep tight.

Posted 12/13/2006 05:40:00 PM by Douglas

I'm tired of this story, too. Or maybe just the Fark.com headline:

What device was just spotted on this shuttle mission that has 400 times the CPU power and 80 times the memory of the avionics computers and can even survive a year date rollover? With pics

Hey, what software has dedicated programmers, don't require suck-fest iTunes as an interface, and can freakin' fly in space? That's right, the Orbiter GPC OI. So suck it, Mac, and your fanatical race to become the Walkman of the decade.

Suck it hard. But thanks for changing the way we listen to music, and thanks for making it all suck.

Posted 12/13/2006 05:26:00 PM by Douglas

I'm so tired of this story.

The identities of hundreds of thousands of Boeing workers might be at risk. Someone stole a laptop containing their personal information.

KSN talked with a Boeing spokesperson Tuesday night who said this does affect workers in Wichita and across the country. Everyone who is at risk will be notified by Wednesday through e-mail.

Boeing officials say they will do everything possible to protect their employees. The company has confirmed the computer had the names of 382,000 past and present Boeing workers.

Former employees will receive letters in the mail if their names were on the laptop.

Company officials say they do know exactly what was on the computer, and that it did contain personal information. That laptop was stolen from an employee's car during the first week of December, but Boeing won't say in what state that crime took place.

I was tired of it last year, too.

Posted 12/10/2006 03:38:00 PM by Douglas

I've always wondered how # became the "pound" sign. I always thought it was the 'number' sign until I got lost on the phone tree of countless banks. Now I find out that it has a perfectly useful name: the octothorpe. And here's a bunch of other crap you won't remember, either. Aside from learning a great word for otter dung, I'm going to have to take issue with "wamble" for stomach rumbling. Borborygmus sounds so much more mystifying.

Posted 12/10/2006 03:35:00 PM by Douglas

Concept Mustang from the L.A. car show. Pretty snazzy.

Posted 12/10/2006 06:41:00 AM by Douglas

And there was much rejoicing!

Space shuttle Discovery blasted off its seaside launch pad on Saturday, defying the odds of poor weather and ending the ban on night-time flights imposed after the 2003 Columbia disaster.

With its twin booster rockets blazing, the shuttle and seven astronauts lifted off at 8:47:35 p.m. EST (01:47:35 GMT on Sunday) with a thundering roar and a brilliant white light that momentarily dispelled the darkness at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida.

What a sight:

Posted 12/09/2006 02:14:00 PM by Douglas

Pulp fuckin' Fiction. Also, The Big fuckin' Lebowski.

WAY too much fuckin' free time.

Posted 12/09/2006 02:11:00 PM by Douglas

Like the rest of us, Camille Paglia is sick to death of Britney's crotch.

"These girls are lowering themselves to the level of backstreet floozies. It angers me because I fought a bitter fight to get feminism back on track and be pro-sex at the same time. This is degrading the entire pro-sex wing of feminism."

“I am completely appalled by what these young women are doing because I think that they are cheapening their own image and obliterating all sexual mystery and glamour, which are the heart of the star system.”

Well, duh. But what's really interesting is how this affects Paglia's feminism. How does she get her giant ego through standard sized doors?

Posted 12/09/2006 02:05:00 PM by Douglas

Parenthood may be difficult, but judging by the six billion people on the planet it's obvious that it's not impossible to ensure your children remain safe during their formative years. That is, unless you're stupid enough to un-leash a wild cougar at a seven year old's birthday party.

A 4-year-old girl was mauled at a children's birthday party by a cougar that had been brought in by a wild-animal business to entertain the youngsters, authorities said.

The girl was attacked on Nov. 18 at the home of Goya Foods president Francisco Unanue during a party for his 7-year-old child and suffered severe cuts on her eyelid, cheek and ear, authorities said. Doctors sewed back part of her severed ear.

Police said Wild Animal World owner and trainer Corinne Oltz removed the leashed cougar from its cage to show it to the children, but the girl sneaked behind Oltz and startled the animal. The declawed cat seized the child's head with its teeth.

The 62-pound cougar was destroyed last week so that it could be tested for rabies; it did not have rabies.

It's horrible that a four year old got mauled, but why did they have to kill the cougar? Couldn't they have "destroyed" Oltz for removing the leash, or how 'bout Unane for hiring a frigin' cougar for a birthday party? Geez.

Posted 12/09/2006 01:59:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting test case for handgun bans in D.C.

In a case that could shape firearms laws nationwide, attorneys for the District of Columbia argued Thursday that the Second Amendment right to bear arms only applies only to militias, not individuals.

The city defended as constitutional its long-standing ban on handguns, a law that some gun opponents have advocated elsewhere. Civil liberties groups and pro-gun organizations say the ban is unconstitutional.

At issue in the case before a federal appeals court is whether the Second Amendment right to "keep and bear arms" applies to all people or only to "a well regulated militia." The Bush administration has endorsed individual gun-ownership rights but the Supreme Court has never settled the issue.

I thought this case was settled in 1939 with U.S. v. Miller when the court said the Second doesn't apply to individual rights, but rather the collective of a militia. What none of this argument addresses is what is meant by "militia." If only militias can bear arms, who's to say what is or isn't a militia? Anyone advocating militias are limited to the National Guard haven't been to any of my family reunions.

Posted 12/09/2006 01:50:00 PM by Douglas

Welcome to the neighborhood! Here's your gun.

Like any good salesperson, Upton is always looking for new ways to attract customers. Recently, she struck upon what she thinks is some tantalizing bait — at least when it comes to police officers.

Instead of a free toaster, TV or a stay at a luxury hotel, Upton, of Realty Associates, is offering officers a free Glock pistol with any home purchase of at least $150,000.

"So I just give a $500 American Express gift check," said Upton, whose husband, officer Randy Upton, is a 15-year Houston police veteran.

For police officers, Glocks range from about $450 to $550 on the company's Web site.

I don't like this. Is the motive to get police to move into a certain neighborhood? Why? And why only police? Why not offer a gun to everyone that wants one? The word "police" doesn't appear anywhere in the second amendment.

Posted 12/07/2006 08:54:00 PM by Douglas

Damn! Here we go again with March of the Penguins II. What's black and white and is never gonna fly?

Low clouds forced NASA to delay the launch of space shuttle Discovery Thursday night, and strong winds could delay another attempt for a day or two.

NASA managers waited until the end of the countdown before deciding to call off the launch scheduled for 9:35 p.m. EST. It would have been the first launch at night in four years.

"We gave it the best shot and didn't get clear and convincing evidence that the cloud ceiling had cleared for us," launch director Mike Leinbach told Discovery's seven astronauts.

Commander Mark Polansky responded, "Try not to be too disappointed."

Earlier in the day, NASA Administrator Michael Griffin said if the space shuttle did not get off the ground Thursday night, NASA likely would wait until Saturday before trying again. The Friday forecast was even worse than Thursday's, with only a 10 percent chance for launching.

Too many clouds prevent the necessary observation of the shuttle during its ascent, and the shuttle commander needs visibility if an emergency landing is required.

The best opportunity for launching over the next several days was Tuesday, shuttle weather forecaster Matt Timmermann said.

Looks like Tuesday, then.

Posted 12/07/2006 05:46:00 PM by Douglas

Some would say that school isn't the place to watch movies. More specifically, the Little Cypress-Mauriceville school district said school is no place for a teacher to show an R rated movie that shows brief nudity.

A high school teacher in the Little Cypress-Mauriceville district was suspended this week for five days without pay for showing students a French movie that contained brief nudity, school district attorney Quentin Price said Tuesday.

The district's seven-member board voted unanimously to suspend French teacher Heather Salazar for showing an R-rated movie, Price said in Wednesday's editions of the Beaumont Enterprise. About two weeks ago, Salazar showed her students the Oscar-nominated French movie Amelie. The 129-minute movie tells the story of a woman on a quest to make others happy and on the journey she finds love, according to the Internet Movie Database. The 2001 Oscar-nominated movie has an R rating because of the sexual content, the Web site said.

Salazar, who's in her fifth contract year with the district, was suspended for violating a high school policy for videotape use. Price said Salazar didn't get pre-approval before showing the movie.

Who could argue with a school's videotape use policy? Still, any teacher that shows an R rated movie with nudity should expect trouble, no matter how benign the movie is. The only thing I remember about that movie (except for the gnome) is that I thought it was cute. I'd like to see it again, but it hasn't made it on my radar.

But then again, I saw Romeo and Juliet in high school, and even though it's rated G, there's still a full camera shot of Romeo's ass and Juliet's rack that titillated (hehe) my sophomore English class. I don't think anyone was fired, though. I'm pretty sure no one was turned on. At least by the movie.

Posted 12/07/2006 05:45:00 PM by Douglas

Cricketer, commentator, politician, and then convicted of manslaughter. Navjot Singh Sidhu has some great one-liners.

• Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
• The world is all about mind and matter; I don't mind and you don't matter.
• In London they drive on the left, in India we drive on what is left.
• A fallen lighthouse is more dangerous than a reef.
• Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.
• You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
• Its very difficult to kill a man who is hell bent upon committing suicide!
• I lean on statistics like a drunken man leans on a lamppost, only for support, not illumination.
• Statistics are like bikinis… what they reveal is suggestive, what they hide is essential!

Ha! Some of them are pretty good, even if they sound familiar.

Posted 12/07/2006 05:25:00 PM by Douglas

To sum up a 1,400 word piece in The New York Times style section, Evites suck.

In the centuries before party invitations were pinged across cyberspace, invitees did not feel compelled to explain in depth how a soiree conflicted with their Lamaze class, spa weekend or Ironman competition. Regrets were nonspecific platitudes. And the only people who heard them were the hosts.

No more.

Each month, more than 10 million invitations are sent through Evite.com, and a significant number of them encourage people to not only reply, but to also write a personal comment that can be viewed by everyone on the guest list.

And while some people simply refuse to respond to Evite invitations, countless others find themselves composing clever detailed responses that require so much effort, they end up R.S.V.-Peeved.

I find them obnoxious and pretentious as hell. Not only for giving other potential guests an insight into who is not only invited, but will be attending, but for giving the host the insight into the degree to which you're ignoring it. I love getting the plaintive evite follow-up email that says "why haven't you responded to the evite? You viewed it twice already. . . " Game over. The only way to deal with these annoying little things is to ignore them.

Posted 12/06/2006 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

Baker-Hamilton is in, and soon to grace the cover of Duh! magazine. Iraq is a mess:

Nearly four years, $400 billion and more than 2,900 U.S. deaths into a deeply unpopular war, violence is bad and getting worse, there is no guarantee of success and the consequences of failure are great, the panel of five Republicans and five Democrats said in a bleak accounting of U.S. and Iraqi shortcomings. The implications, they warned, are dire for terrorism, war in the Middle East and higher oil prices around the world.

It said the United States should find ways to pull back most of its combat forces by early 2008 and focus U.S. troops on training and supporting Iraqi units. The U.S. also should begin a "diplomatic offensive" by the end of the month and engage adversaries Iran and Syria in an effort to quell sectarian violence and shore up the fragile Iraqi government, the report said.

Wow, if that's the kind of criticism Bush (43) gets from Poppy's SecDef, there's no telling what some of his detractors will recommend that he'll totally ignore.

Read the full report (PDF) here.

Posted 12/06/2006 05:48:00 PM by Douglas

But seriously, what's a trillion dollars amongst friends? We're already over a third of the way there.

The Democratic co-chairman of the Iraq Study Group said on Wednesday that America's ability to resolve the crisis in Iraq is narrowing and the costs could rise to more than $1 trillion.

Now that's just hyperbolic reactionisim. We all know that the war won't cost more than $1.7 Billion, anyway. Oh Andrew Natsios, I can't stay mad at you:

TED KOPPEL
(Off Camera) All right, this is the first. I mean, when you talk about 1.7, you're not suggesting that the rebuilding of Iraq is gonna be done for $1.7 billion?

ANDREW NATSIOS
Well, in terms of the American taxpayers contribution, I do, this is it for the US. The rest of the rebuilding of Iraq will be done by other countries who have already made pledges, Britain, Germany, Norway, Japan, Canada, and Iraqi oil revenues, eventually in several years, when it's up and running and there's a new government that's been democratically elected, will finish the job with their own revenues. They're going to get in $20 billion a year in oil revenues. But the American part of this will be 1.7 billion. We have no plans for any further-on funding for this.

From 2003. Isn't he just adorable?

Posted 12/06/2006 05:37:00 PM by Douglas

Military Industrial what now? You mean there's money to be made from
war? I had no idea:

The U.S. government is on its way to brokering about $20 billion in arms sales in the fiscal year that began October 1, steady with last year's near-record total, the Pentagon official responsible for such sales said on Monday.

Coming soon to a country we used to sell weapons to: INVASION! Ask Iraq if you have any questions. I sure hope the Pentagon keeps the receipts this time. It'll make the WMD case a whole helluva lot easier for our next invasion.

Seriously, Ike was such a wuss. Cash your check and shut your fucking pie hole, you god-damned plutocrat.

Posted 12/06/2006 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

According to google, I'm the first to say it. Yeah, it's a stretch, and 300 years of history has proved me wrong, but still, my statement is in geologic terms. Which is the same timetable FEMA works on, but considering the next Southern Louisiana flood is perpetually eminent, what's the rush?

And to supplant Althouse's take on "what's been said before," I can take credit for the above phrase when the Army Corps of Engineers admits defeat at Old River. Maybe not next week, or next year, but geologically soon, and the results will be devastating, exonerating my above statement about southern Louisiana.

Posted 12/06/2006 05:13:00 PM by Douglas

Paging Mr. Herman. Mr. Pee Wee Herman, your experience in saving animals from a burning pet store were desperately needed.

A fire broke out Tuesday at a North Houston-area pet store sparking the evacuation of more than 100 animals and causing the death of two birds.

The fire at Pet City, 230 Bammel Westfield Road, started around 7:30 a.m. and appeared to be electrical, said Ponderosa Fire Chief Fred Windisch. But he said the flames created a tremendous amount of smoke.

I bet the snakes were the last ones out.

Posted 12/03/2006 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

Don't like people that you might disagree with religiously (or at least dietarily)? No worry, just set up to race the animals your foe finds unclean.

These pigs are subtle weapons, here to show the new neighbors — the Katy Islamic Association — they aren't entirely welcome. Tension has been growing in this west Harris County community since September when the Muslim group announced it had purchased 11 acres south of Interstate 10 to build a mosque, school, community center and athletic facilities.

Hard feelings started when Baker met association officials, who, he said, advised him he should move his stone shop.

"They told me it was time for my family to pack up," said Baker, whose family has occupied its land since the early 1800s. "They said a mosque and a marble shop didn't go too good together."

Angered by the perceived insult and aware of Islamic dietary laws banning pork consumption, Baker responded by announcing he would stage weekly pig races on his Muslim neighbors' holiest day of prayer.

There ya go, boy!

Posted 12/01/2006 05:53:00 PM by Douglas

A year and $76,000 later the City of Galveston has at least a proposal for a new name to jump start its tourism: The City of Galveston Island. Holy crap is that money well spent! Not only does it incorporate the name of the city, county and island on which it resides, but other than confusing every map in the world, adds no real value.

Friends of Galveston don't have to worry because nobody's in a rush to change its official name to the City of Galveston Island.

The proposed change was one of more than 50 suggestions made by North Star Destination Strategies, a Nashville-based company that conducted a $76,000, yearlong marketing study for the Galveston Island Convention and Visitors Bureau.

I think I missed my true calling in life. As a complete liar, I could have come up with some bullshit like this:

If Galveston were a public figure, residents said, it would be a combination of Jimmy Buffett and Ernest Hemingway, Distefano said. "Laid back and friendly, but with a hint of adventure and full of tales."

He said Galveston presents a unique combination of history and beaches. "We do a better job with our history than we do our beaches," he said.

Lines for suggested ad campaigns include things like "Pirates hid out here, so can you."

Ah, the Pirate contention. You never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator.

Posted 12/01/2006 05:42:00 PM by Douglas

The "whiter than rice" city of Friendswood, Texas in next on the list of Texas towns that want to show their intolerance and ignorance of the fact that Texas was once part of Mexico.

A Friendswood City Council member is interested in making English the city's official language and would like the idea to go before voters next spring.

"To be employed, you must have a command of the English language. The reason I want it to be on the ballot is because it'll be in the charter. Voters will have to approve it, not me."

Well it's about time an insignificant Houston suburb of 30,000 people take a stand for good folks with "a command of the English language." While I don't pay taxes or vote in the City of Friendswood, I would suggest a list of banned words and their substitutions when/if this resolution passes a plebiscite.

• Restaurant Eating place (from the French)
• Menu Food list (again from the French)
• Taco Flat bread sandwich (Mesican)
• Tornado Twisty cloud (again, from Mesican)

The list could go on and on, ad absurdum (shit that's not English either!) but it doesn't negate the point that this is stupid, especially in Texas. But what else is the Friendswood City Council up to?

Last month, the Friendswood council voted 6-1 to approve a resolution that urges President Bush and Congress to enforce the Immigration and Nationality Act, which governs primarily immigration and citizenship in the United States.

There really isn't anything better to do in Friendswood than to push an agenda on Washington. Hell, why stop there? Why not NATO, the UN, or pass resolutions that directly effect the border dispute in Timor? Oh right, that's why. You're politically neutered. These guys need to spend more time mowing their lawns and less time passing resolutions about things they have absolutely no interest in.

Posted 12/01/2006 05:22:00 PM by Douglas

More on the future and imminent flooding of southern Louisiana. Try as they might, not even the Army Corps of Engineers can make water flow uphill.

Well there it was, the situation was staring them right in the face, but the folks back then were thinking in human time. They wanted to navigate the Atchafalaya and so in 1863 the State of Louisiana took out the logjam. In the blink of a geologic eye (about one hundred years) the Atchafalaya widened and increased its draw on the Mississippi so that fully thirty percent of the Mississippi was pouring down the Atchafalaya. There is a fifteen foot difference now between the elevation of the two rivers and the Atchafalaya's route to the Gulf is approx. 140 miles shorter than the Mississippi's -- water always finds the shortest route downhill.

"The river to the ocean goes." This is not a question of "if." It's a question of "when" the Corps loses this battle against nature, gravity, and 1.15 million square miles of a drainage basin. It's a hard lesson, and it may take another hundred years, but eventually we're going to learn what the French knew in 1740: no matter how strategically attractive it is, Southern Louisiana is uninhabitable.

Posted 12/01/2006 05:05:00 PM by Douglas

The family of Kyle Lake has finally settled with the electrical contractor that wired his dunkin' pool.

The family of a Waco pastor who was electrocuted during a baptism in front of 800 church members has settled its wrongful death lawsuit against an electrical contractor.

The lawsuit alleged MP Electric was negligent in the design, assembly and installation of the church baptistry heaters, resulting in the electrocution death of the 33-year-old pastor.

"As a company and long-standing member of the community, MP Electric is pleased that they could come to a financial resolution with the Lake family," Dallas attorney James W. Grau, representing MP, said in a prepared statement.

Tragic, yet there's something to be said for a mortal man, acting in the name of The Lord, Baptizing parts of his congregation, losing his life through electrocution, yet his widow receives a settlement from his death? How does he enter the water with the responsibilities of Jesus Christ, yet leave the water under the responsibilities of MP Electric?

Posted 11/30/2006 05:38:00 PM by Douglas

Try this shit after three beers and she'd spend the next 20 years of her life in jail. Why the disparity in sentencing?

State's Attorney Julia Rietz made the call not to lodge any more serious charge than improper lane usage against Stark, saying that the legal definition of recklessness, to sustain reckless homicide or reckless driving, did not fit her actions.

But Rietz argued for the maximum sentence of six months of conditional discharge a form of probation without reporting to an officer a $1,000 fine and traffic safety school.

Reckless? What the fuck difference does that make? Making the decision to drink three beers and getting behind the wheel and then rolling through a stop sign will get you a night in the klink and about $10,000 in fines. Changing the ring tone on your stupid fucking cell phone and killing a kid gets you six months probation and a fine? I would argue that something that results in a death is inherently more reckless than just about anything that doesn't result in a bodycount.

Posted 11/26/2006 06:08:00 PM by Douglas

It's that time of year again, kids. Get 'em while they're hot.
Seriously, is an aluminum pole any dumber than a tree?

Posted 11/26/2006 05:59:00 PM by Douglas

From an old Radio Shack catalog: That's a good price on a cell phone the size of a shoe box. Be sure and check out that screamin' 16Mhz 386.

Posted 11/26/2006 05:55:00 PM by Douglas

Another 'generator' site.

Posted 11/26/2006 05:39:00 PM by Douglas

Winning of hearts and minds in Iraq. And then there's this from Frontline last year.

Posted 11/26/2006 05:35:00 PM by Douglas

This brings new meaning to the phrase, "observe" all posted traffic warnings.

This has got to be a joke. A good joke, but still.

Posted 11/26/2006 05:06:00 PM by Douglas

Whod'a thunk that going out on Saturday night would be so complex.

It’s a night that people accustomed to quoting Andy Warhol or Diddy may summarize by invoking another New York luminary: Yogi Berra, who said, “Nobody goes there anymore, it’s too crowded.”

What a great line. But it gets more complicated when talking about elitists New Yorkers that don't realize that the line is satire, and that they may run into people in public that aren't nearly as cool as they are. GASP!

“In the old days, Saturday was the destination night for chic New Yorkers headed to Studio 54 at its most resplendent,” Mr. Musto said in an e-mail message. “But things changed as more and more tri-staters were willing to use the bridges and tunnels for here-we-come Gotham weekends, so the locals started staying home and triple-bolting their doors as if in a George Romero film.”

Oh My God! All this in the same city as the U.N. Imagine the carnage?!? You have to stay home one night a week to avoid someone from Jersey because he's more annoying than you are, or at the very least, annoying in a different way. Did America lose a war or something? It gets worse:

Last Saturday, four Manhattanites in their early 30s were huddling over a low table downstairs at Buddakan, the cavernous pan-Asian restaurant in the meatpacking district. “During the weekends, you get a lot of clutter, if you will,” said Brian Kirimdar, 30, an investment banker. He and his wife, Ashley, tend to hide out in restaurants on Saturdays, avoiding all but a few of the Chelsea clubs. “You don’t find too many bridge-and-tunnel people at Cielo or Marquee,” he said. “You really have to pick and choose.”

Yeah, you really gotta pick and chose, Brian and Ashley. You gotta find the "few" restaurants and clubs where you can find human beings and not the arrogant assholes that are overwhelmingly convinced of their own self-importance.

Posted 11/20/2006 05:10:00 PM by Douglas

Finally, just what America needs. Yet another dollar coin no one is going to use.

Can George Washington and Thomas Jefferson succeed where Susan B. Anthony and Sacajawea failed? The U.S. Mint is hoping America's presidents will win acceptance, finally, for the maligned dollar coin.

The public will get the chance to decide starting in February when the first of the new coins, bearing the image of the first president, is introduced.

Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson and James Madison are scheduled to grace the coin in 2007, with a different president appearing every three months.

Wow! I mean, who cares? I'm getting repetitive: Get rid of the penny, bring back the $2 bill, and make a $1 coin someone might want.

Labels: seigniorage

Posted 11/20/2006 05:08:00 PM by Douglas

Does this ao dai make my butt look big?

Russian President Vladimir Putin, wearing Vietnamese 'ao dai' silk tunics, during the official photograph for the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) Summit in Hanoi November 19, 2006. REUTERS/Jim Young

Or

Yeah, Poppy couldn't get me out of having to wear this silly robe, either.

OR

Ironic, ain't it? I actually went to Viet Nam to get out of going back to Washington. Say, that 'minds me. What's irony?

Or

Hey Pooty, you start pitching a tent in that thing and me and you's gonna have issues.

I'm friggin' nine years old today.

Posted 11/19/2006 05:37:00 PM by Douglas

Ban on silicone breast implants lifted, separated.

The government ended a 14-year virtual ban on silicone-gel breast implants Friday despite lingering safety questions, making the devices available to tens of thousands of women who have clamored for them.

The Food and Drug Administration approved the implants for women 22 and older, or those undergoing breast reconstruction surgery, but warned that patients probably would need at least one additional operation because the implants don't last a lifetime.

Yeah, who cares?

Posted 11/18/2006 04:25:00 PM by Douglas

Does anyone else think this wine tastes like ass?

Bathers toss a glass of wine as they dip in wine-poured hot spring at an open-air spa in Hakone, west of Tokyo Thursday, Nov. 16, 2006 to mark the release of Beaujolais Nouveau. (AP Photo/Kyodo News)

Posted 11/18/2006 04:09:00 PM by Douglas

Maybe you're not crazy. Maybe that bee really is trying to kill kill you.

Israel is using nanotechnology to try to create a robot no bigger than a hornet that would be able to chase, photograph and kill its targets, an Israeli newspaper reported on Friday.

The flying robot, nicknamed the "bionic hornet," would be able to navigate its way down narrow alleyways to target otherwise unreachable enemies such as rocket launchers, the daily Yedioth Ahronoth said.

Wow, I can't imagine this technology getting out of hand. I wonder if it can find Sarah Connor? I for one welcome our new robotic insect overlords, and as a engineer, I could be useful in helping them rounding up worker drones to toil in their underground sugar-caves.

Posted 11/18/2006 04:00:00 PM by Douglas

I've said it before, but it's clear the R&D boys over at Gillette have been reading the Onion.

If you watched the World Series at all last month, you may recall that the team that made the most powerful impression was Gillette. The unit of Procter & Gamble repeated the same ad for its new six-blade Fusion razor so many times that it made you either want to throw something at the TV or to run out and buy the razor.

Fuck it, we're going to six blades!!!

Posted 11/18/2006 03:48:00 PM by Douglas

A burrito is not a sandwich.

Is a burrito a sandwich? The Panera Bread Co. bakery-and-cafe chain says yes. But a judge said no, ruling against Panera in its bid to prevent a Mexican restaurant from moving into the same shopping mall.

Panera has a clause in its lease that prevents the White City Shopping Center in Shrewsbury from renting to another sandwich shop. Panera tried to invoke that clause to stop the opening of an Qdoba Mexican Grill.

But Superior Court Judge Jeffrey Locke cited Webster's Dictionary as well as testimony from a chef and a former high-ranking federal agriculture official in ruling that Qdoba's burritos and other offerings are not sandwiches.

The difference, the judge ruled, comes down to two slices of bread versus one tortilla.

Are there on oppressed, downtrodden people in the world in desperate need of legal representation? Why are lawyers so freakin' bored that they argue about crap like this?

Oh yeah, keep in mind that the status of a tomato as a fruit or a vegetable went all the way to the supreme court.

Posted 11/18/2006 03:39:00 PM by Douglas

More on our inundated legal system. I don't know what turn of events have happened in your life for this to happen, but it's pretty sad. If you're ever in a situation where your defense for having public intercourse with a deer is that it was dead at the time, maybe you need to take a deep and introspective look at your life choices.

Prosecution of a Douglas County case involving alleged sexual contact with a dead deer may hinge on the legal definition of the word “animal.”

Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.

“The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass,” Anderson wrote.

Something to be said for the zealous representation of your client, but holy crap!?! I know it hasn't been that long ago that it was made illegal to have sex with a dead person, so it's no wonder carcass action isn't specifically outlawed in Minnesota. But I think reasonable people would agree that a dead animal is still an animal, if for nothing else but for how completely disgusting this is.

Ah, who am I kidding. He's gonna get off. Again.

Posted 11/18/2006 03:14:00 PM by Douglas

When is Starbuck's gonna learn? Stop selling hot drinks to idiots.

A Hancock County couple have filed a lawsuit against Starbucks, accusing a Fishers store of serving scalding hot chocolate that seriously burned their little girl.

Brennan ordered a child's hot chocolate with whipped cream and an adult hot chocolate without whipped cream at the drive-through. According to the lawsuit, Starbucks' policy is to serve child drinks at lower temperature than adult drinks to avoid kids getting burned.

Brennan handed her daughter the child drink, and as she pulled away from the window, it spilled into Rachel's lap.

What the hell is wrong with these people? She bought a product described as hot chocolate. I can see how you could make a case if it was coffee or tea, because let's be frank, its thermal properties aren't included in the name. But Hot chocolate? Pretty much know what you're getting with that one, even if you are retarded. She bought it, dropped it, and her kid got burned. How do they muster the balls to call a lawyer over that?

Posted 11/16/2006 05:43:00 PM by Douglas

Ironic headline of the week:

Accused cat killer says he likes the animals

Just not cats, right?

Ornithologist Jim Stevenson won't say how many feral cats he has shot since he moved to Galveston a decade ago but acknowledges "it's a lot fewer than the number of birds I've saved."

Stevenson doesn't admit to that offense but has stated in a posting on an Internet birders' Web site that he shot as many as 24 cats with a .22-caliber rifle on his property in the first year he lived on the island.

Although he admits shooting some feral cats in the past, Stevenson, who founded the Galveston Ornithological Society and publishes the group's quarterly newspaper, "Gulls 'n Herons," denies being a cat-hater.

"It has come across in articles that I hate cats and that's just not true," Stevenson said in an interview at his home today. "I actually like cats in the house. I have friends I visit and I play with their cats in my lap."

I guess he's too much of a pussy to pull out the .22 and shoot a cat sitting on his own nards, eh?

Birds fly. Cats eat birds. No amount of rimfire .22 ammunition is going to change that fact of nature. But nice try. Maybe the majestic animals with a brain the size of a cashew you're trying to protect can devour the corpses of all your shot cats for sustenance. Ah, the circle of life. . . .

Posted 11/16/2006 05:17:00 PM by Douglas

Sometimes the headlines just write themselves:

Perry wants teacher pension fund to invest in startups

Oh really?

Gov. Rick Perry is asking the Teacher Retirement System, Texas' largest pension fund, to consider investing up to $600 million in young companies that receive money from Perry's emerging technology fund.

Last year, Perry persuaded lawmakers to put $200 million into a new Texas Emerging Technology Fund that invests in startup companies and public research projects. Perry wants the state to up its bet and is asking for the Teacher Retirement System investment.

Many of the startup companies have little or no revenue and uncertain prospects, but Perry and other backers of the tech fund say the state money is needed to boost Texas companies in industries of the future, such as medical devices and nanotechnology.

State officials "encouraging" where private money is invested? I smell trouble.

I wonder if the "underpaid" teachers of Texas had a say in the $130 Million loss TRS suffered from poor investments in WorldCom and Enron? Did the Governor encourage those, too? What the hell does he care, it's not his money.

Posted 11/15/2006 05:33:00 PM by Douglas

You lost, whiner, now shut up already.

Clint Curtis said he is considering a legal challenge to the election results: "In this election, the results did not match the Zogby pre-election poll, our internal VoteNow2006.net polling, or our exit polling," Curtis explained.

"These anomalies need to be investigated and cleared up, not just in my race but for every district where the count just doesn't add up."

This is stupid for so many reasons. The electorate doesn't put any faith in polls. It's the elections that count, and anyone with half a brain (in deference to politicians) knows, like Stalin did, that it's not about who votes, but who counts the votes:

The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything.

So the electorate didn't do as good as Zogby's limited sample size said you would? What a shocker.

Look folks, the election is over. Can't we get on to the discussion of the real winners? Politicians.

Posted 11/15/2006 05:26:00 PM by Douglas

Here's an idea: It's a judgment call and I'm makin' it, but if you can't pass pre-cal and physics in high school you've got no business going to college. Yeah, I know I'm a in the minority, but I'm also not a raving idiot, either. (oh, wait)

Those two classes strike terror in the hearts of many high school students, though both can be avoided by college-bound youths. But that could change as state education policymakers implement a new rule requiring students on the recommended graduation plan to take a fourth year of math and science.

A battle about the rigor of the courses that will count toward the so-called "4-by-4" curriculum rages anew at today's State Board of Education meeting.

In September, the board gave a tentative nod to a plan that would allow students to choose from a variety of courses, including some lower-level math and science classes, for their fourth credit. But many in the business community and some concerned parents are stepping up pressure on the board to require more-difficult courses for seniors.

"A lot of key occupations like engineering and nursing are suffering because we've taken our eye off the prize and watered down the curriculum so much that it builds very little skills in students by the time they've graduated from high school," said George Edwards Jr., a former trustee of Cypress-Fairbanks ISD who favors requiring challenging courses such as physics and pre-calculus.

How dare industry dictate to the public confiscatory taxing/education system that they teach kids stuff they actually need to know?!? Don't they know there was a game this week?!?

Seriously, high schools are getting dumbed-down in lock step with colleges, so in a few years this won't even matter, but if you're in school as a serious student and you're complaining that the administration is trying to teach you too much, you need to do a little research and find out what McDonald's is paying. That's where you're headed, pep-rally kid.

Posted 11/12/2006 07:06:00 PM by Douglas

In the wake of the "regime change" from last week's elections, the moronic dunderpates at The Weekly Standard are now using The War of Northern Aggression as their model in Iraq.

The proper response to that calculation is to make emphatically clear that the fight will not end until one side or the other wins, decisively. That kind of battle can only have one ending, as Abraham Lincoln understood. In a speech delivered a month after his reelection, Lincoln carefully surveyed the North's resources and manpower and concluded that the nation's wealth was "unexhausted and, as we believe, inexhaustible." Southern soldiers began to desert in droves. Through the long, bloody summer and fall of 1864, the South had hung on only because of the belief that the North might tire of the conflict. But Lincoln did not tire. Instead, he doubled the bet--and won the war.

Holy cow, that's the stupidest thing I've ever read. Lincoln finally got the General he deserved with Grant, in that "he fights" as Lincoln said. But the battles of 1864 were pretty horrific, in human scales. Petersburg, Spotsylvania, and Cold Harbor cost the Union 40,000 men. As Lincoln knew, it wasn't easy to find a general that would lose that many soldiers in a month and keep marching forward. Sure the Union had three times the population of the South and thousands of troops that had never heard a shot fired in anger. Where the hell was I going with this??

Oh yeah, America has neither the troop-strength nor the intestinal fortitude to endure such a war of attrition in the 21st century. Declare victory and get the hell out.

Posted 11/12/2006 06:21:00 PM by Douglas

Sounds like someone in Florida has been watching Brewster's Millions.

A Florida voter may have unwittingly lost hundreds of thousands of dollars by using an extremely rare stamp to mail an absentee ballot in Tuesday's congressional election, a government official said on Friday.

The 1918 Inverted Jenny stamp, which takes its name from an image of a biplane accidentally printed upside-down, turned up on Tuesday night in Fort Lauderdale, where election officials were inspecting ballots from parts of south Florida, Broward County Commissioner John Rodstrom told Reuters.

Only 100 of the stamps have ever been found, making them one of the top prizes of all philately.

Philately, or as I like to call it, "a bigger waste of your life than smoking."

Posted 11/12/2006 06:12:00 PM by Douglas

What's more alarming? The thought of the IDF hitting a site in Southern Lebanon that contained some kind of radioactive material, or the IDF nuking Southern Lebanon? That's a coin toss, in my book.

The special report was triggered by the radioactivity measurements reported on a crater probably created by an Israeli Bunker Buster bomb in the village of Khiam, in southern Lebanon. The measurements were carried out by two Lebanese professors of physics - Mohammad Ali Kubaissi and Ibrahim Rachidi. The data - 700 nanosieverts per hour – showed remarkably higher radiocativity then the average in the area (Beirut = 35 nSv/hr ). Successivamente, on September 17th, Ali Kubaissi took British researcher Dai Williams, from the environmentalist organization Green Audit, to the same site, to take samples that were then submitted to Chris Busby, technical adisor of the Supervisory Committee on Depleted Uranium, which reports to the British Ministry of Defense. The samples were tested by Harwell’s nuclear laboratory, one of the most authoritative research centers in the world. On October 17th, Harwell disclosed the testing results - two samples in 10 did contain radioactivity.

About the origin of enriched Uranium there are two possibilities:

1. This material was present already in the structure of the bombs, but I am puzzled since one should explain the rationale of the use of a material which is both expensive and dangerous , because of its enhanced radioactivity, to people handling it , including military personnel of Israeli Army.
2. The enrichment has been the consequence of the use of the bomb; this possibility is hardly compatible with the known effects of conventional nuclear weapons and should imply that some newly discovered nuclear phenomenon could be at work.

If there's a positive spin to this, I'd love to hear it.

Posted 11/12/2006 06:04:00 PM by Douglas

If you're ever stuck in a flint quarry in Northern Texas and you need a flint arrow head or a spear tip, you would be hard pressed to find anyone around that could make a better on than Ranger Ed Day.

Early Native Americans quarried flint at the Alibates Flint Quarries for more than 12,000 years to make dart points, arrowheads and other tools. The colorful flint lies just below the surface of ridge tops in a layer up to 6 feet thick.

On Wednesday, Gray demonstrated his flint-knapping skills for a group of fourth- and fifth-graders from Our Lady of Guadalupe School and impressed upon them the importance of protecting the monument's wildlife and flint for future generations.

"Everything here's protected. Everything," Gray said, pausing during a hilltop hike to caution his inquisitive, young visitors against taking any of the flint home in their pockets.

Whatever you do, don't steal any flint and don't slash open your class-mate's arms with razor-sharp flint on the busride home. I'm just sayin'. . . .

Ranger Day, in all his flint knapping genius:

Posted 11/12/2006 05:48:00 PM by Douglas

Snakes, on a motha-fuckin' plane didn't live up to its self created hype. Duh:

The movie promoted the hype more than the hype promoted the movie.

That's it, in a nutshell. The movie was a 90 minute slasher flick with every horror-cliche in the book, but I still say it was pretty damn funny. Interesting that the SoaP movie didn't live up to the SoaP hype, and kinda sad people would rather laugh at the joke than go see it. Oh well, at least it made its money back.

Posted 11/10/2006 05:59:00 PM by Douglas

Absolutely brilliant depiction of what happens when a municipality stops focusing on collecting traffic fines and actually focuses on driver and pedestrian safety. They get rid of stupid traffic lights and their roadway fatalities drops significantly.

Hans Monderman, a traffic planner involved in a Brussels-backed project known as Shared Space, said that taking lights away helped motorists, cyclists and pedestrians to co-exist more happily and safely.

Residents of the northern Dutch town of Drachten have already been used as guinea-pigs in an experiment which has seen nearly all the traffic lights stripped from their streets.

Only three of the 15 sets in the town of 50,000 remain and they will be gone within a couple of years.

The project is the brainchild of Mr Monderman, and the town has seen some remarkable results. There used to be a road death every three years but there have been none since the traffic light removal started seven years ago.

There have been a few small collisions, but these are almost to be encouraged, Mr Monderman explained. "We want small accidents, in order to prevent serious ones in which people get hurt," he said yesterday.

What a novel concept. Slow people down where they're actually paying attention to the road, and they get through traffic faster than they do by stopping every block at a stoplight. What a concept! Now, let's discuss why this will never work in America:

"It works well because it is dangerous, which is exactly what we want. But it shifts the emphasis away from the Government taking the risk, to the driver being responsible for his or her own risk.

What?!? I'm responsible for operating a moving vehicle that could kill me or others?!? Surely it's the government's fault for not putting up a sign or something. I can't be held liable for running over that other driver. I was simply driving to work. And changing a CD. And putting on eye-liner. And eating a burrito. How is that my fault?

In short, if motorists are made more wary about how they drive, they behave more carefully, he said.

What?!? How dare he suggest that I pay attention to the road and vehicle I'm operating. I'm an American! That's why I pay insurance. Helena, drive it home:

"I am used to it now," said Helena Spaanstra, 24. "You drive more slowly and carefully, but somehow you seem to get around town quicker."

Imagine that. Pull your head out of your ass, drive the car, slow down, yet still get around town quicker. Yet another example as to why Americans are more concerned with appearing to be safe as opposed to actually being safe.

Posted 11/10/2006 05:37:00 PM by Douglas

Ok, so the GOP lost Congress. I couldn't help but notice the sun continued to rise on Wednesday. Enter the hyperbolic (either that or he's trying to be funny) politics of NRO.

His torso still scratched from the bear's claws, his face bloodied and steaming in the November chill, he should immediately give a press conference at which he throws the bearskin on the front row of the press corps, completely enveloping Helen Thomas, declaring, "I'm not going anywhere."

This will send important messages to Democrats and well as to our enemies overseas, who are no doubt high-fiving as we speak.

I don't know what's more alarming: That he thinks this is shrewd, funny, or actually useful info for the President in his last two years of office.

Republicans lost, but more importantly, they lost for a reason. Instead of pounding your chest about it, how 'bout trying to figure out why. Karl Rove is undoubtedly very tired by now.

Posted 11/10/2006 05:27:00 PM by Douglas

Fascinating take between U2 and R.E.M., two of the biggest alpha-numerically named bands of the 80s and 90s, yet one has shrinked into obscurity while the other has become the "spokesband for human dignity." Let's start:

Either you loved U2, or you liked them fine. Either you loved R.E.M., or you hated them.

OK, so that's in the second to last paragraph, but it's still true. R.E.M. were cats, while U2 were dogs. Even if you don't like dogs, you don't hate them. But if you don't like cats, you hate cats. Such as it is with R.E.M. and U2. Even if you don't like U2, they've got that one song that won't disappear from the radio that you catch yourself humming while you're taking a crap. R.E.M. wasn't so. You had no idea what the hell they were talking about:

The lyrics could mean anything, and therefore they meant everything, weighted as they were with mystery, resonance, and passion. "It's not necessarily what we meant," writes Mills, "but whatever you think."

And I think this, above all else, is why I loved R.E.M. So much of their stuff (before they fell apart in 1996 with the horrid, New Adventures in Hi-Fi) was what dorks like me liked to call "open for interpretation." How many hours in dorms across the country were devoted to dissecting the lyrics of "Word Leader Pretend" or "Driver 8" or "Swan Swan H" or countless others? It meant something to you because dammit, you were thinking about it. U2 fans had it all spelled out for them with "Pride in the name of love," "With or without you," or "Mysterious Ways." Absolutely no 'mystery' or self introspection in that title.

The delicacy at the heart of R.E.M.'s 1980s albums fostered introspection and brotherhood among those of us who loved them in those years: introspection, because the songs pushed the listener inward, finding significance in every line; brotherhood, because we had to band together to defend our heroes against the unfeeling jerks who found R.E.M. precious and maddeningly opaque. I assumed, of course, that those jerks were U2 fans.

Not always but more often than not.

In the battle of the three minute pop song, R.E.M. caught my attention as something that made me think about things larger than myself. Sure, Stipe and company had their bad days ("Shiny happy people?" Geesh. Utter drek) but more often than not they wrote interesting if not compelling music and lyrics that got my attention, and to this day, each and every R.E.M. song that's near and dear to me reminds me of a specific place, time, event, person with which I shared that experience.

U2, on the other hand, is terribly over rated and has an incredible song about MLK's assassination. How much more impersonal could you get to a small town kid in the big city in 1993 that doesn't even know why he's wearing flannel?

Posted 11/10/2006 05:10:00 PM by Douglas

Governor Perry exercises his power and it pisses off some environmentalists. Imagine that.

The governor was talking about electricity that day — specifically 11 coal-fired plants proposed by TXU — and the bureaucrats he challenged weren’t those in Washington but the ones in the state government. Perry stood shoulder-to-shoulder with John Wilder, TXU’s CEO, when he made the pronouncement.

The “bureaucrats won’t be allowed to hold up approval” for the TXU plants, Perry said.

His support of those plants has become a hot issue in his race for re-election. Perry called last year’s blackouts a “wake-up” call for a state that needs more energy, but his major rivals say the state can find a more environmentally friendly way to meet that challenge.

Problem #1: Texas needs power, and need power plants. Problem #2: The governor is standing "shoulder to shoulder" with the CEO of a company that's going to benefit from his executive order circumventing laws set in place to oversee the construction of power plants. Can you say conflict of interest? What about the environment?

One of the major issues dividing the candidates is the potential effect on the environment. TXU and the governor say the coal-fired plants would dramatically increase the state’s power output and not hurt air quality. They cite a state-sponsored study showing that after factoring in other utility commitments, average ozone levels in Dallas and Fort Worth would decline with the new plants.

“These coal plants are going to be 80 percent cleaner than the national average,” Perry spokesman Robert Black said recently. “And we’re increasing energy capacity in the state. These are positive aspects.”

Decrease ozone levels in D/FW with new plants? Either I'm reading that wrong or I'm just plain stupid. Hell, I'll admit to both. But here's where this story gets just plain wacky in election year politics:

Bell said Texas should set a goal of producing 15 percent of its energy from renewable sources by 2015.

And then there's

Friedman has said the state should produce 20 percent of its energy from renewable sources by 2020.

If only there were a candidate that advocated 17.5% of Texas' energy came form renewable sources by 2017. June, 2017, as long as you're sticking with the arbitrary date and percentage paradigm.

But here's where this article goes off the deep end:

“The debate on global warming is over,” and “carbon dioxide from SUVs and local coal-fired utilities is causing a steady uptick in the thermometer.”

How bloody convenient. No other source of global warming but SUVs and coal. So. . . . The veracious need of electrical power is going to be supplied only by those that kill dolphins and Texas air quality? Give me a freakin' break.

This is a big question. Texas can't have more people without more power, and obviously the air quality of Houston, D/FW, Austin and San Antone have just about reached their choking point. So what now? Ida know, but not supplying power, as politically murderous as it would have been for Gov. Goodhair, seems like it might have been an avenue worth exploring.

Posted 11/08/2006 05:42:00 PM by Douglas

I guess Bush has to eat a little crow and actually admit he's totally flubbed up Iraq by firing Rummy the day after the election. Too bad this wasn't six weeks (or months [or years]) ago when it could have helped the Republicans.

After years of defending his secretary of defense, President Bush on Wednesday announced Donald H. Rumsfeld's resignation within hours of the Democrats' triumph in congressional elections. Bush reached back to his father's administration to tap a former CIA director to run the Pentagon.

The Iraq war was the central issue of Rumsfeld's nearly six-year tenure, and unhappiness with the war was a major element of voter dissatisfaction Tuesday — and the main impetus for his departure. Even some GOP lawmakers became critical of the war's management, and growing numbers of politicians were urging Bush to replace Rumsfeld.

Politically convenient for Bush, but I know the real reason. Rumsfeld wanted to take more time off now that Britney's single again.

Posted 11/08/2006 05:35:00 PM by Douglas

Interesting twist on WWII from the Russian perspective.

After talking at Cambridge recently about the preponderance of the eastern front and the scale of the Red Army’s triumph, I was accosted by an angry young British historian. “Don’t you realise that we were pinning down 56 German divisions in France alone,” he said. “Without that the Red Army would have been heavily defeated.” What is less acknowledged is that without the Red Army pulverising 150 divisions, the allies would never have landed.

Well, duh. One of Hitler's biggest follies is fighting the mulit-front war, regardless of who is on the other side of those fronts. But American conscripts in France in the West Vs. Russians in the East, defending their homes? Is there any real comparison?

When Churchill was writing in the late 1940s, he knew perfectly well that Stalin was no angel. Yet the sheer scale and variety of Stalinist crimes was not known. The statistic of 27m Soviet “war losses”, which appeared in the 1960s, concealed the fact that many of them were not Russians and many were victims not of Hitler but of Stalin. It has taken the collapse of the Soviet Union and more than 60 years for this body of certainty to accumulate.

So, what's the moral to the story? We should have stayed out of FDR's war? Soviet Russia and Germany, both with their genocide, concentration camps and mass murder, would have flung themselves at each other had not The Bright Shining Beacon of Democracy, America, intervened? Who knows. I'm no historian, nor do I have a book to push. Germany fell, the Soviets took control of Eastern Europe for the next 50 years, anyway, so I can't imagine anything worse from the fallout of our abstention of WWII. I'm sure 420,000 dead Americans might beg to differ.

Posted 11/07/2006 05:48:00 PM by Douglas

Suck it, Airbus! Looks like FedEx realized 15 planes in the air is better than 10 planes that can only land at two airports.

FedEx, the American freight and logistics company, on Tuesday canceled an order for 10 Airbus A380 superjumbo jets, becoming the first customer to abandon the plane in the wake of the production delays that have shaken the European company.

The order will instead go to its American rival, Boeing, which will supply FedEx with 15 of its 777 Freighters, a plane also designed for long-haul cargo flights.

The value of the FedEx contract for Airbus was confidential, but the passenger version of the A380 lists for about $300 million. Still, Airbus is not likely to lose $3 billion because freighters, which have less elaborate interiors, are somewhat cheaper, and because the FedEx order was placed at the lower rates from 2001, an Airbus spokeswoman, Barbara Kracht, said.

Though the industry has been rife with speculation about possible cancellations of A380 deliveries, FedEx's decision is nonetheless a jolt to Airbus orders at a time when it can ill afford such losses. It also could set off what Airbus likely fears the most: other cancellations and fewer orders.

Suck it, commies. How 'bout building a plane someone wants?

Posted 11/07/2006 05:17:00 PM by Douglas

Not my job, part two:

Posted 11/07/2006 05:04:00 PM by Douglas

In other FedEx news, or, as it were, Ex-Fed news:

The pop princess filed for divorce Tuesday from her husband, former backup dancer and aspiring rapper Kevin Federline.

The Los Angeles County Superior Court filing cites "irreconcilable differences," said court spokeswoman Kathy Roberts.

Spears, 24, married rapper Kevin Federline, 28, in 2004. They have a 1-year-old son, Sean Preston, and an infant son who was born Sept. 12. The divorce papers identify the baby as Jayden James Federline.

If those two crazy kids can't make it happen in this work-a-day world, what chance do the rest of us have?

Posted 11/06/2006 05:47:00 PM by Douglas

Waterboarding. This was just on FoxNews and it still made me want to throw up. I wonder if Cheney volunteered for this bullhshit.

Posted 11/06/2006 05:44:00 PM by Douglas

Not my job, part one:

Posted 11/06/2006 05:40:00 PM by Douglas

What a pathetic footnote to the presidency of Bush 43 that his approval with the American people peaked with September 11, 2001. The only thing to drive up his poll numbers was being attacked?

Posted 11/06/2006 05:24:00 PM by Douglas

The next time you call your credit card for a credit line increase, be sure and know how to speak just at little bit of Mandarin.

China's foreign exchange reserves have topped the 1.0 trln usd level, state television CCTV said.


The report cited the latest figures from the State Administration of Foreign Exchange (SAFE), although it did not specify when reserves had reached the 1.0 trln usd level.

The announcement had been long expected, particularly as SAFE said that reserves hit 987.9 bln usdat the end of September.

China had already surpassed Japan earlier this year as the world's top holder of foreign exchange reserves. Japan had reserves of 881.27 bln usd at the end of September against 878.75 bln in August.

China's reserves have swelled on the back of surging foreign direct investment inflows, bets on currency appreciation and a ballooning trade surplus.

Another sad footnote as the world's manufacturing base slips quietly to the east. There are just so many hamburgers that we can manufacture.

Reference; Empires: Greek, Roman, Portuguese, Spanish, British, American.

Posted 11/06/2006 05:03:00 PM by Douglas

Is this treason?

Hundreds of US soldiers have signed a petition calling for a troop withdrawal from Iraq and the document is to be formally presented to Congress in January, organizers said.

"As a patriotic American proud to serve the nation in uniform, I respectfully urge my political leaders in Congress to support the prompt withdrawal of all American military forces and bases from Iraq," the petition says.

"Staying in Iraq will not work and is not worth the price. It is time for US troops to come home," it says.

The campaign's website, www.appealforredress.org, says the petition is sponsored by active duty service members based in the Norfolk, Virginia area and by a sponsoring committee of veterans and military family members.

The committee includes Iraq Veterans against the War (IVAW), Veterans for Peace (VFP) and Military Families Speak Out.

At the very least, a bit of dissention in the ranks. Only slightly less effective than not signing up in the first place.

Posted 11/02/2006 05:36:00 PM by Douglas

If you believe this is the first time I've disagreed with, Merriam-Webster, you've got another THINK coming!

"If you think that, you have another think coming" means "You are mistaken and will soon have to alter your opinion". This is now sometimes heard with "thing" in place of "think", but "think" is the older version. Eric Partridge, in A Dictionary of Catch Phrases, gives the phrase as "you have another guess coming", "US: since the 1920s, if not a decade or two earlier". Clearly "think" is closer to "guess" than "thing" is. The OED gives a citation with "think" from 1937, and no evidence for "thing". Merriam-Webster Editorial Department writes: "When an informal poll was conducted here at Merriam-Webster, about 60% of our editors favored 'thing' over 'think,' a result that runs counter to our written evidence."

Webster was the biggest pirate of the King's English before the days of Elvis. It's high time we brought some honour back to the language.

Posted 11/02/2006 05:10:00 PM by Douglas

How's that whole Iraq thing going? Why not consult Cent-Com's own info-graphic.

A classified briefing prepared two weeks ago by the United States Central Command portrays Iraq as edging toward chaos, in a chart that the military is using as a barometer of civil conflict.

A one-page slide shown at the Oct. 18 briefing provides a rare glimpse into how the military command that oversees the war is trying to track its trajectory, particularly in terms of sectarian fighting.

The slide includes a color-coded bar chart that is used to illustrate an “Index of Civil Conflict.” It shows a sharp escalation in sectarian violence since the bombing of a Shiite shrine in Samarra in February, and tracks a further worsening this month despite a concerted American push to tamp down the violence in Baghdad.

Color codes. . . always with the color codes with this administration. From threat levels to their self-described chaos levels in Baghdad, you gotta love the gross oversimplification of a complex problem.

The obvious question is where on this scale between "peace" and "chaos" does "repent" reside? Off-scale high?